I Was Lonely

Author: Patt

Rating: R

Pairings: Jim/Blair

Status: Complete

Date: 08/15/03

Category: humor, First Times, Peja Challenge

I Was Lonely
Patt

"I've been going over the phone bill. Wanna tell me what's going on with all these 900 numbers?" Jim hollered.

"Wasn't me."

"Chief, there is only you and me. If it wasn't me, it was you."

"I hate the way you blame me for everything. I hate you." Blair stormed into his room.

"Get back out here. Hiding in there isn't going to work." Jim yelled.

Blair came back out and said, "So where are they to?"

"Does this one look familiar? Male Nude Celebs! Hot Men! Hot Places! An iLm Gay Service!"

"No, I never heard of it. I'm serious. Why would I be calling men?" Blair asked looking very innocent.

Jim was wondering if there was a mistake. But he had to ask him about the others first.

"Okay, how about, Gay places in provincial thailand?" Jim asked smiling.

"Thailand? Like I would call Thailand. Get a grip Jim."

"Does Gay Phone Sex with Sammy at LiveDreamsNetwork ring any bells?" Jim asked.

"Sammy does sound familiar. Oh, that's because I know about ten of them. Men and women. Again, get a grip." Blair was indignant.

"How about this one, phone sex, 1-900 Gay Phonesex, sex talk, homosexual, gay phonesex ... ? Ring any new bells?" Jim smiled.

"Jim, keep that number because I think that it would be interesting to talk to them to see how they feel about the gay lifestyle. We done?"

"Not hardly. What in the world were you doing with this one, www.old-lady-phone-sex.com/1-900-gay-phonesex?"

"That proves it. Do I strike you as the type that would call old ladies?" Blair asked.

"No, not really." Jim was now wondering if this was all a big mistake.

"Can I go now?"

"NO, there are a few more, Chief. Here is another one, Gay phone sex, homosexual phonesex, homosexual chat, twink sex ... "

"What the hell is a twink?" Blair asked looking confused.

"You don't know what twink is?"

"No, that's why I asked. Want to explain to me?" Blair asked.

"No, I really don't. You're so full of shit, Sandburg. I know you made these fucking calls."

"Wait, you're the one that knows what twinks are and you're older, so you might have called the old lady line. Maybe it's you."

Jim ignored him and went to the next batch of calls. How about, phone sex, Gay Cock Sucker Phonesex, sex talk, homosexual, gay ... ?"

"Oh really Jim, who would call a place called Cock Sucker Phonesex? Not me."

"Fucking liar. I can tell."

"I think 'you' made them." Blair snarled back.

"Me? Why in the hell would I call these places?" Jim asked.

"You're the one that knows what a twink is."

"Fine a twink is another name for the bottom. You know you fill it with cream?" Jim said with a straight face.

"That's not what a fucking twink is. God, do I need to teach you everything?"

"So teach me all knowing one." Jim said sarcastically.

"Very young, very thin and very pretty and no hair on their bodies. That's what twinks are. So there." Blair crossed his arms over his chest with a gleam in his eye and then realized what he had just done.

"Would you like to tell me where the calls came from?"

"Jim, you really need help. They came from the phone, you doofus." Blair was trying to keep things light.

"Blair, why did you make these calls? Do you know how much the bill is?"

"Which one do you want answered?" Blair threw back at him.

"Do you know how much the bill is?" Jim asked.

"Fifty?"

"Six Hundred Chief. How are you going to pay that?"

"Six Hundred? How could it be that much?" Blair wondered aloud.

"Well it looks to me like you spent the most of the time on the phone with the old women. What's up with that?" Jim was trying not to laugh.

"I can't be rude Jim. And they wouldn't let me off. It was horrible. I kept telling them that you were going to beat my ass and they got all hot and scary with that info."

"So why did you lie to me?"

"Well, I was going to tell you that morning, Hey Jim, guess what? I want to fuck someone's ass. What do you think of that? But I came to my senses and just made phone calls instead. And some of those places told me some good things." Blair was pacing now.

"So how do you plan on paying for this, Chief?"

"I have no idea. Would you consider taking it out in trade?" Blair asked and Jim raised his eyebrows.

"I meant, I could cook and clean for three months and promise never to make another call."

"Blair, I'd rather take it out in trade." Jim smiled at him.

"I went through all of this shit and you're telling me you do guys?" Blair almost squeaked.

"I'm never going to do you Blair. I'll make love to you. I'll fuck you into our mattress, but I don't do you." Jim smiled.

Blair moved into Jim's arms and whispered, "I'm sorry. And I love the sound of our mattress."

"Next time talk to me. I'm cheaper." Jim laughed.

"And easy." Blair took off running for the stairs and didn't mind being caught one bit.

As they lay in bed naked he quietly said, "Jim, I was lonely."

"Again I say. I'm cheaper. I would have made that loneliness disappear. I love you, Chief."

"I love you, big man. Now show me how much I mean to you. I want to see if those guys on the phone were lying."

Blair found out those guys weren't lying and they might not have been giving it enough notice. Jim was good, easy and cheap. Life is fucking fine.

END