Title: How Much Do I Hate You? Let Me Count The Ways

Author/psuedonym: Patt Paulos-Darrow

Email: PattRose1@aol.com

Pairing:J/B

Rating:G

Category:Challenge

Date:August 9, 2000

Series/sequel:

Status:new

Disclaimer: These guys don't belong to me, never did, never will, but I can dream. Petfly doesn't like to share. They also don't pay me, darn it anyhow.

Notes: Angst alert. Jim is going to get his ass kicked and won't even see it coming. Blair is very evil. I don't like writing Blair evil. So I did it with little talking. :(

Warning: m/m

Summary: The challenge asked for Blair to hurt Jim. Well, this is what I came up with. I didn't say it was good. I just answered your challange. :) And I did it with little dialog. I didn't want them talking, I thought that would ruin it. This has more to do with thoughts and feelings.

No beta. I didn't have the heart to make them see this evil Blair. :(

by Patt Paulos-Darrow

Jim had been such an asshole lately and Blair had taken as much as he was going to take. That was enough when Jim yelled at him in front of everyone in the bullpen.

Blair was sooooo pissed off, he could hardly see. He was cooking dinner, knowing that Jim was on a different stakeout. He would be coming home late, tired, hungry and grouchy. Well, Blair would do his best to make sure everything was fucking perfect.

As he was cooking, he added some hot seasonings, he picked up from the Chinese store. You can't really smell it, until it is too late. He will burn for days, the asshole.

Next up, the loft had to look just right. Blair changed all the furniture around and tossed dirty clothing all over the living room. Then he went and tossed wet towels all over the bathroom floor. Too bad Blair was too mature to piss all over the fucking walls. Asshole, Blair thought to himself.

*************

Jim was on his way home and had a lot of time to think about what an asshole he had been to Sandburg this morning. He thought, what the fuck do I think I'm doing treating him like that? I had no right to do it in front of everyone. I'll make it up to him tomorrow in the bullpen. In front of everyone, I'll apologize. He might not forgive me, but it doesn't matter, at least he'll be able to sleep. Shit.

Jim trudged up the stairs, beings the elevator was out of order. (He had no idea that Blair was hoping that it would break down.) As he put his keys in the door, he turned and opened it. He walked into the dirty loft and just sighed. He knew that Blair was seriously pissed off at him. Well, Jim was expecting this. So, he tried not to get pissed off at the mess. It could be cleaned up.

Jim walked into the kitchen and lifted the lid off of the pan on the stove and smelled. God, even when he is pissed off, he still cooks me a great meal. Smiling he piled some on a plate and put it in the microwave. When the oven gave its usual ding, he went and picked it up and sat down at the table to eat.

Blair was sitting in his room, still fuming. But he knew that soon he would get his revenge. Jim would have smoke coming out of his ears for a week. And this made Blair smile. Then suddenly Blair thought about that. Holy Shit. If it's that hot, what might it do to Jim? What if he had a reaction? Well, tough. Jim has this coming; he never should have treated Blair so badly.

Jim sat down at the table with his plate of food and a beer. Trying to relax and just forget the day. He took a swig of his beer and smiled. And then Jim took a bite of his dinner. He swallowed, and put in the second bite, it tasted really good. Just as quickly, he found himself not being able to get his breath. Oh God, Jim thought. What the fuck was going on? Why was this so hot? Blair wouldn't do this to Jim on purpose, so there had to be another reason.

Jim got up to see if Blair would help him, but could not breathe. He fell to the floor, making these sad, sick sounding noises.

Blair heard something fall in the kitchen and went and looked out his door to see what was going on. All Blair saw was Jim lying on the floor not breathing. Oh shit, what have I done, Blair thought? He ran to Jim's side and told him to hang on. He dialed 911 and they said they would be right there.

Blair could see that Jim wasn't getting any air, so he started giving him help. He pinched Jim's nose closed and then pushed air into Jim's swelling airway. But it was helping a little bit. Jim could at least feel like he wasn't dying now.

The EMT's got there and took over for Blair. They took Jim in an ambulance and Blair followed in Jim's truck, knowing that Jim would want his truck to drive home when they released him.

On the way to the hospital, Blair was trying not to think about the whole thing. It was all Blair's fault. All of it. What the fuck was he going to say to Jim when he saw him? Well, he better think of something soon.

Blair walked into the hospital and the doctor asked to talk to him. The doctor said, "Jim won't be able to talk for about a week or longer. The hot sauce has damaged his vocal cords and hopefully they would come back to normal, but I won't know for another week or so."

Blair just sat there in shock. I mean, what do you say to a man, that you tried to poison? Fuck, fuck, fuck.

When he went into the room where Jim was, Blair said, "How are you doing, partner? Oh sorry, I forgot, you can't talk yet. I'll get you a chalk board or something."

Jim realized that this was not the Blair he had known for the last four years. Where was that Blair? And why had he left? Jim must have caused this change.

Jim picked up a piece of paper and wrote on it, "I'm so sorry Chief. I never should have treated you like that at home or in the bullpen. I had no right. I hope you will someday forgive me."

Blair took the paper from Jim and read it and could not believe this. What the fuck was going on? Why was Jim not mad at him? Did he not know that Blair had tried to hurt him and succeeded? And where does he get off thinking he can say he's sorry and that will be the end of it. Well, fuck him, Blair thought.

They made their way out to the truck and Jim put his arms around Blair and pulled him into a hug and Blair could feel the tremors coming from Jim's body. Was Jim crying? Was he in pain?

Blair backed up and said, "Jim, do we need to go back into the hospital? Are you in pain?"

Jim shook his head and whispered," No, I don't want to go back in. I'm so sorry Blair. I'm sorry for taking my Blair away. I push everyone away and I'll never be able to come to terms with that."

Blair just looked at Jim and said, "Get in the truck Jim and I'll drive you home. Things will look better tomorrow."

The whole way home, Blair watched the sadness on Jim's face and was torn between the old and new Blair. Deciding that maybe the old Blair needed to come back for a while. And maybe just come out more often, so that new Blair didn't have to be so evil.

When they got home, he told Jim, "I'm not sorry for what I did, but I'm sorry for hurting you. I didn't think about what it would do to you. You have been pushing me lately and I just snapped. The old Blair is going to come back for a while and see if he can make things work with you. So big man, its not up to you."

Jim whispered, "You won't be sorry, Blair. I promise I won't hurt you like that again."

Then Blair went into Jim's arms. But in the back of his mind, Blair wondered what kind of man tries to poison his policeman partner?

=30=