Conner's Quiz 4: Have you ever said, but thought?

by Patt
****

Conner: Have you ever said, "We need to talk." but thought, "I'm pregnant."

Joel: Nope, I've never said this or thought it.

Conner: But Joel has anyone ever said it to you, and you wondered about it?

Joel: Nope.

Jim: I've never said it or thought it, but I once thought that someone was going to say this to me.

Brown: Man, is Sandburg pregnant?

Rafe: You know, now that you mention it, he's put on a little bit of weight.

Blair: Very funny guys.

Simon: I've never said this, but I heard it once and that was enough.

Jim: Simon stop trying to be so tough, you know that Daryl is the best thing that ever happened to you.

Simon: Who said I was talking about Joan?

Jim: Oh. Sorry.

Blair: Man, we're going to have our eye on you now, Simon.

Conner: Okay, Brown and Rafe you didn't answer. I need answers from all of you. Actually, neither did you, Sandy. Out with it guys.

Blair: No, I've never said it or thought it. I also never thought about someone saying it to me. I'm super safe.

Jim: Sandburg, why would you have to be super safe now?

Blair: Ellison, I was talking about women, not you.

Brown: I never thought this, but once someone said it to me and I panicked for a moment. We had unprotected sex and it came back to haunt us.

Rafe: I'm always safe, so I would never have to say it or hear it.

Jim: It must be so wonderful to be perfect, Rafe.

Rafe: It is, Ellison. Want me to give you lessons?

Blair: No you're not teaching him to be more anal.

Simon: I have to agree with Blair on this one. Jesus, can't you just see Ellison after a week with Rafe?

Jim: Excuse me? Why are you talking about us like we're not here?

Blair: Because we want you both to leave? Just kidding, hot stuff. You too, Jim.

Simon: Wow, this one is going well Conner, move on while we're ahead.
****

Conner: Have you ever said, "I had a wonderful time last night." but thought, "Who the hell are you?"

Joel: Oh God, wouldn't that be awful to be that far gone? No, I've never said it or thought it.

Simon: I agree with Joel on this one.

Jim: I might have said the first part. However, I never thought the second.

Blair: Jim, the whole idea is for you to say and thing the two together. Otherwise, it would be all of us. I mean, we all said I had a wonderful time last night.

Conner: Yeah, Jim, they go together.

Jim: Fine, change the fucking rules, I don't care. Okay, I've never said it and thought it together. But I did have a good time last night.

Rafe: Ewwwwww

Brown: God, I was hoping we could get into at least four of these babies before you start teasing us.

Jim: Sorry Brown. I'll be good.

Blair: I've never said it and thought it at the same time. In addition, Jim, I had a great time last night too.

Simon: Okay, this isn't the fucking dating game, men.

Joel: Well, I for one find it refreshing to have them talk sweet to each other.

Conner: So do I.

Rafe: You would Conner. You're such a fucking romantic.

Jim: She's a hopeful Romantic. There's a difference.

Conner: Thanks, Jim.

Jim: No problem Conner.

Simon: Are we done?
****

Conner: Have you ever said, "I've been thinking a lot..." but thought, "You're not as attractive as when I was drunk."

Jim: Nope.

Joel: Me either.

Simon: That makes us three for three.

Rafe: I might have thought the last part a couple of times.

Brown: Man, you are a sleaze sometimes.

Rafe: Hey, Conner said she wanted truthful answers. That's what she's getting.

Blair: I thought it once.

Jim: You must to be fucking kidding. Mr. I don't care about looks?

Blair: We all have some dark areas in our lives. That's one of mine. I'm not proud of it.

Brown: Was it anyone we know?

Blair: I'm not telling.

Rafe: Shit, you thought that about Jim the first time, didn't you? Holy shit.

Blair: I didn't say that.

Brown: Well, you didn't not say it.

Blair: Well, I'm not saying it now. I wasn't talking about Jim. Jim, stop grinding your teeth.

Jim: I'm still trying to figure out how you could even think that, Chief. You're the most sensitive man I've even met in my life. This blows me away.

Blair: Jim, I'll blow you away later. Now lets move on.

Rafe: Jesus, stop the gag me with a spoon talk.

Simon: Conner, there is a break in the action. Let's move on.
***

Conner: Have you ever asked, "I've learned a lot from you." But thought, "Next!"

Joel: No, never.

Jim: Is it just me, or are these questions getting cruder?

Conner: Hey Jim, shut up. Just answer them, don't rate them.

Blair: I've never said or thought it.

Rafe: Hairboy, you used to do this all the time. We used to joke about it.

Brown: Yeah, you were pretty easy with the women. Love em and leave em Sandburg.

Jim: Well, he's mended his ways.

Blair: I didn't have to mend my ways, Jim. I was fine. You slept with as many people as I did. Mine just weren't as exciting because they weren't criminals.

Jim: Fuck you, Sandburg.

Blair: Not tonight, big boy.

Joel: Okay, guys, lets not fight. Let's get along tonight. Conner, I've never said this or thought it.

Simon: Me either. Could we get this over with quick? I have a date.

Jim: With who?

Simon: None of your business.

Blair: Simon has a secret. Simon has a secret. Simon has a secret.

Simon: Sandburg, are you four?

Blair: Well you'll have to ask Jim, but I'm certain I'm longer than that.

Rafe: Jesus, now the inches jokes? Come on.

Brown: Hey Sandburg, that was funny, now Ellison, is he?

Jim: I don't kiss and tell.

Blair: Well, I don't mind, Jim. Really.

Jim: No really I don't tell.

Blair: Well, you know those inches? They're not going to be in you for a long time, man.

Jim: He's way more than four inches. Way more.

Simon: It's nice to see who wears the pants in this relationship.

Blair: Man, how does he know that you go commando, Jim?

Jim: Shut up, Sandburg.

Simon: Could we move quickly before we get sick?

Conner: Not until you tell us who the date is with.

Simon: Fine, it's the new DA. She asked me out.

Conner: Way to go, Simon. She's fine.

Jim: She is fine, Simon. Have fun.

Blair: Why were you checking her out Jim?

Jim: I'm not dead, Chief.

Blair: You might be soon.

Simon: Conner, now would be a good time to move on.
****

Conner: Have you ever said, "I want a commitment." but thought, "I'm sick of masturbation."

Joel: I'm ashamed to say, yes and yes.

Jim: Me too.

Brown: Oh oh. Sandburg looks pissed off.

Blair: So, was this recently when you said and thought it?

Jim: Well I don't remember the date exactly.

Blair: Jim, you either said it since we've been together or not.

Jim: I might have.

Simon: Are we almost ready to leave, guys?

Conner: Simon, we just started.

Rafe: This is getting good. So Ellison, you didn't really love Hairboy, you just wanted sex?

Jim: Fuck you, Rafe. I've always loved him. He knows that.

Blair: Then what in the hell do you mean by saying this?

Jim: I don't know.

Blair: Fuck you, Ellison.
****

You could hear a coin drop on the floor. Pure silence as Jim started to stalk his prey. Blair kept moving away from Jim, not knowing what to expect from the larger man. What happened wasn't what he expected at all. Jim's arms went around him and the younger man could feel Jim shaking and trying to control himself. Blair wasn't quite certain of what he should do next. He did what he thought would work for either of them, and put his arms around the tall man and pulled him even closer. They stayed that way, just holding each other for a long while. Finally, Blair trusted himself to whisper to Jim. "Baby, I love you so much. You'll never know how much."

Jim kept his face pushed into Blair's neck and the he could hear Jim's hitches in his breath. He knew better than to say or do anything more. He just needed to give Jim some time to collect himself. Finally after about ten minutes of pure silence, Jim pulled away and kissed Blair. It was one of those kisses that curled his toes. God, what this man could do to him.

There was a cough, followed by Simon saying, "We're still in the room, guys."

"Blair, buy me some time until I get back." Jim pleaded with red, watery eyes.

Jim headed down to the restroom and Blair walked over to the rest of the gang and said, "Jim said to start without him. He'll be back soon."

Simon: Is Jim all right?

Blair: Yeah, he's fine, Simon. Don't worry. I scared him. I seem to do that a lot these days.

Joel: Well stop it. I would just die if you two broke up.

Blair: Thanks, Joel.

Conner: Same here, Sandy. We love you guys. You're much more important that some stupid Survey.

Blair: Thanks, Conner. But we're fine. I just got carried away and Jim is insecure sometimes.

Rafe: Want me to go and make sure he's all right?

Blair: No, thanks anyhow. He'll be right out. He said to start.

Brown: We're sorry we were pushing you two around tonight.

Blair: Really, it's okay.

Simon: Conner, why don't we go to the next one and see what we can possibly do with that one.

Jim: Hey did I miss anything important?

Simon: No, we were just about to start.
*****

Conner: Have you ever said, "I think we should see other people." But thought, "I have been seeing other people."

Joel: No, I don't believe in that.

Simon: I'm not into it either.

Blair: I've said it in my wilder days, but not now.

Jim: Good.

Blair: Well, wild man, did you ever say it or think that?

Jim: No.

Rafe: I've said it and thought it. But I might reconsider.

Brown: Wow, why is that? You've never been a one-woman guy before.

Rafe: I'm tired of the running around. I would like to settle down.

Brown: Anyone have a thermometer? I think Rafe is running a fever.

Rafe: That was so funny, I almost forgot to laugh.

Jim: Well, it's nice when you have one person to come home to. I know I like it.

Conner: I want it. I really do.

Jim: Then don't settle for anything less.

Simon: Yeah, this is from the most married man in the room.

Jim: You know that it could be that way for any of you, if you worked at it. I didn't use to work at it.

Simon: Conner, I feel a lecture on moving on, coming up.
***

Conner: Did you ever say, "Let's get married." But thought, "Does that mean we can do it now?"

Joel: I think I did once.

Jim: I might have, years ago.

Blair: I know I did years ago.

Simon: I know I did too.

Rafe: Count me in.

Brown: Yeah, once is enough. I said it and thought it once.

Simon: Men, this is the first one that we've all agreed on. My god, will wonders never cease?
***

Conner: Have you ever said, "We don't have to do anything until you're ready" But thought, "Put out or get out."

Joel: God, I hate to admit this, but once when I was young, I thought this.

I didn't say it, but thinking it was bad enough.

Jim: Yeah, I thought it a few times.

Blair: With me, hot stuff?

Jim: Yeah, with you.

Blair: Goody.

Conner: You two are just too fucking cute.

Simon: I've said it and thought it.

Brown: I don't think I've ever said it or thought it.

Rafe: I've done both, many times. Things have to change.

Simon: Wow, lets move on, what do you say?
****

Conner: Have you ever said, "I still think about you." But thought, "I miss the sex."

Jim: Yeah, I said that a few times after my divorce. I think that might be normal.

Conner: I think it would be too.

Rafe: I say and think this all the time.

Simon: Yeah, I did and said this after Joan and I split up. I got over it.

Brown: I've said this and thought it.

Blair: I've never said this and meant something else. However, I have said it.

Joel: I've said this a few times and thought it too.
****

Conner: Have you ever had someone ask you, "Is there something wrong?" "Or is it supposed to be this soft?"

Joel: Man, that's a scary one. No, I've never been asked this.

Jim: Maybe once.

Blair: You're joking?

Jim: I was drunk.

Blair: Jim, I think that you take this telling the truth thing way too seriously.

Simon: Yeah, I was drunk once too.

Joel: Fine if you're going to tell the truth, I will too. I had it happen a couple of times, but I don't remember what it was. I don't think I was drunk.

Blair: Joel, do I have to give you a talk about always telling the truth too?

Rafe: Thank god, no.

Brown: Same here.

Jim: You've never had it happen?

Rafe: No, never.

Blair: It happened to me once.

Brown: With Jim or a woman?

Jim: Jesus, don't answer that Chief.

Blair: Okay, maybe twice.

Jim: I think now would be a good time to move on, Conner.

Conner: Blair, you're the youngest, and you're telling me that twice you couldn't get it up?

Blair: Hey, you asked, I'm telling the truth. I didn't know I was going to be badgered.

Brown: So what makes it happen, Hairboy?

Blair: Both times I was upset.

Jim: I'm almost ready to go home.

Rafe: OH man, it was with Jim, wasn't it?

Blair: I'm not saying.

Simon: Conner, please move this along.
***

Conner: Have you ever said, "You're so mature." But thought, "I hope you're eighteen."

Rafe: Hell yes.

Brown: I've wondered it.

Joel: Thank god, no.

Jim: No.

Simon: No.

Blair: Yeah, I've said and wondered many times.

Joel: Blair you'd sleep with someone you weren't certain was 18?

Blair: Not now, Joel. However, I was 17 at the time.

Conner: Oh Sandy, you are so cute.

Jim: Conner stop telling him that, he'll get a big head.

Blair: You've always said you liked my head.

Simon: Conner please?
****

Conner: Have you ever said, "Yes...YES...(SCREAM!!)." but thought, "Aren't you done yet?"

Joel: No.

Jim: No.

Blair: Yeah a couple of times.

Jim: Lately?

Blair: Jim, get a grip.

Simon: I don't even want to go there. No, I've never said it or thought it.

Rafe: Yeah, I said it once.

Blair: What do you mean you said it once?

Rafe: We don't have to give examples do we?

Blair: Conner, tell him he has to give examples.

Conner: Rafe, you started it. Finish it.

Rafe: Fine when I was 17; I let a guy fuck me. Happy now?

Brown: Holy shit, Rafe.

Rafe: Kidding, I was kidding.

Brown: You better be kidding.

Jim: Why? Why had he better be kidding?

Brown: Because if someone hurt him and he didn't tell me about it, I'd kick his ass.

Jim: Oh, all right.

Rafe: I was joking you guys.

Simon: Good, I'm glad to hear it. Now what is your answer?

Rafe: No.

Jim: Rafe, I want to talk to you later.

Rafe: I was joking, Ellison. Save your over protectiveness for Sandburg.

Conner: Okay, guys, thanks a lot. I'm getting so much information from all of you, it isn't even funny. I adore you all.

END