Don't Call, Don't Write

by Patt

Notes: For the opening line challenge "Are you ashamed of what we have together...."

Pairing: J/B

Rating: NC-17

Category: drama/humor

Date: August 27, 2003

Status: new

Archive: You know it.

Don't Call, Don't Write
by Patt

"Are you ashamed of what we have together...." Blair roared.

"I just don't think that everyone has to know about us. It's none of their business." Jim shouted back.

"We don't have to worry about it. Consider us done." Blair packed as he yelled.

"Sandburg, you don't break up with someone just because they don't do what you want." Jim sounded pissy.

"Well I do. And I am. So fuck you. I'll continue working with you, but I never want to see you socially again." Blair got everything he needed for the night and walked out the door. From the parking lot Jim heard, "Don't call or write."

Jim lay on the bed and tried to go over this whole thing in his mind. First he called Conner.

"Conner."

"Hey, have you heard from Sandburg tonight?"

"Why do you care?" she snarled.

"Okay, I take that as a yes. I was just worried about where he was." Jim answered.

"He's staying with a friend of mine. She's got a major crush on him."

"He's not staying with you?" A worried Jim asked.

"Nope, he wanted to stay with someone you didn't know. I'll tell him that you called." Conner hung the phone up before he could say anything else and began to laugh.

Jim sat on the bed in shock. // I may have lost him. What am I doing? //

He then began to think about the day's actions that led up to Blair leaving. Rafe and Brown had asked them both if they wanted to get dates for Saturday night and Blair had said, "We have dates." Then they asked with who and Jim said, "We're not going."

Blair had then said to Rafe, "Find me a date. I'm game."

Brown had asked, "Jim, you want me to find someone?"

Jim had answered, "No thank you and walked out of the room."

// Why is he so mad about that? It's not that big of a deal. Fuck him. It's not like I don't love him.//

That night, the man that said, "Fuck him and I don't need him" was lying on his side holding Blair's pillow close to his body.

A quiet Jim Ellison came into the station the next day. He was the same man, but something was missing. Everyone tried to figure it out.

The donut girl asked him if he had just broken up with someone. Jim growled at her and walked off.

"Ellison." Simon yelled from his doorway.

"Yes sir?"

"You're going to be working with some feds for the next week or so. So I'll partner Sandburg with Conner for now."

"Sir, I don't want to work with the feds." Jim almost stomped his foot.

"Did you hear me ask you if you wanted to? I don't think so. I'm the boss; you do what I tell you to. Now get ready. Some woman fed is picking you up soon." Simon shoved Jim out of his office.

"Hear you're going to be working with the feds." Blair said casually.

"I guess so."

"Well we'll see you when you get back." Blair walked off and everyone in the bullpen noticed the look on Jim's face.

"Ellison, go say a proper goodbye to him." Rafe teased.

"Fuck you, Rafe."

"Well at least you'll have a woman partner. Maybe you'll get lucky." Brown added.

"I'm working, Brown. Not fucking." Jim was pissed.

"My sister is coming this weekend and I wondered if you wanted to go out with her." Rafe asked quickly. "She's so nice so I would have to ask you to be sweet."

"I'm not sure I can be sweet. But I don't mind taking her for dinner." Jim answered.

"Yeah? That's great. I'll tell her when she gets here. Do you want me to make reservations anywhere?" Rafe tried to help.

"No, I'll take her to Saccony's. That's a great place." Jim smiled as he watched a gorgeous woman get off the elevator.

"Are you Detective Jim Ellison?"

"Yes, and you are?"

"I'm Agent Melanie Miller. I'm ready to go if you are." She led the way and Jim followed.

Blair saw the gorgeous woman in the elevator with Jim and knew he was in for trouble.

As he stood there looking sad, idiot boy, Rafe said, "Hey your partner is going on a date this weekend. He's taking my sister to Saccony's."

"Saccony's? I can't believe he's going there. He's such a fucking asshole." Blair stormed off to Joel's office to calm down.

Brown whispered, "Did we miss something?"

"Henry, we always miss things. What's new about that?" Rafe teased.

Melanie and Jim worked very well together. Things were looking up and they might be able to get back to their own lives sooner than they had thought.

Jim didn't see Blair for a week. He heard that Blair was dating a woman in Vice and there was nothing to do about that. (It never occurred to him that it was just a rumor.) Then it was time to take Rafe's sister out. He picked her up and she was beautiful.

All during dinner she had her hand on Jim's cock. She kept rubbing it and rubbing it until he almost came in his pants. "Could you stop that?" Jim barked.

"I can feel that you want me. I want you. So we'll make it easy." Theresa started to undo Jim's pants and he stopped her.

"No way. We're in a restaurant. For gods sake, grow up. You're just trying to piss your brother off." Jim was ranting now.

"So you don't want me?" Theresa pouted.

"I'm sorry no. I only want one person and I can't have that person." Jim got a little misty eyed talking about Blair.

"Why can't you have that person? I take it we're talking about a man. You never say she or he, so I figure it's a guy. Am I right?" Theresa was very smart.

"I don't want to be out."

"Oh I see. So you'll be in, dating Rafe's sister's for the rest of your life?"

"Very funny." Jim laughed.

"I'm serious. It's time to figure out what you want to do. Do you love him?"

"Yes, I love him." Jim said quietly.

"Are you afraid?"

"I don't want people thinking about what we do in bed." Jim stated flatly.

"Do you let it bother you about what they think about you and a woman would be doing?" Theresa was getting close.

"I never stuck my dick up my wife's ass." Jim whispered.

"Well she didn't know what she was missing. It's one of my favorite things to have done to me. And I could care less who wonders about it."

Jim's mouth was hanging open and then she pushed it closed. "You'll catch flies honey. How about you and I sleep together for a while until you make up your mind. No strings attached."

"Theresa, I would love to, but I love him. I can't do that."

"Okay, well I gave it the old college try, eh?" She leaned into him and kissed him. She kept the kiss going and before long they were almost lying down in the booth.

"Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. I have to go. I can't stay here. I can't do this. Jesus." Jim got out of the booth and was followed by Teresa.

"You're going to take me home, right?"

"Yes, I'll take you home but I have to not do that again. You taste too fucking good." Jim opened the door for her and she kissed him again. She heard him say, "Fuck..." as he walked around to his side.

When Jim pulled up in front of Rafe's apartment, Rafe was watching and he saw Jim fighting off Theresa's advances. "Brown, she's not even breaking his shell. Who the hell is he with anyhow?"

"I don't know. Maybe a guy." Brown said and both men laughed. "Yeah right."

Teresa walked in and said, "He's gay. Sorry, Bri."

"He's not gay." Rafe shouted.

"Yes, he is." She sat down to watch the dog and pony show.

"Jim Ellison isn't gay." Rafe barked.

"I'm here to tell you he even told me who."

"Who?" Both Rafe and Brown said at the same time.

"I can't say. But he's in love and he's heartbroken." Teresa just waited for the twits to start laughing so she could beat the shit out of them.

"Maybe it's Sandburg. Do you suppose Sandburg fucked around on him?" Rafe asked.

"No. Jim blew it. He doesn't want to come out. He's afraid of what people will say to them." Teresa felt like a teacher.

"That would be a worry, eh Bri?" Brown asked.

"Not to mention they would all think he was dickless from then on." Rafe answered.

"Be there for him, Brian, or I'll kick the shit out of you." Teresa got up and went to bed.

"I guess maybe we could have a little party and have them come as a couple, but not know it." Brown laughed as they planned.

Jim went back to working with Melanie and they finished up the case. Once the paperwork was done, he took her out to eat one evening. As they were sitting there Blair walked by and saw them sitting in the booth, by the window. Melanie saw the sad look on both of their faces and then realized why Jim Ellison had never made a play for her.

"He was gorgeous." Melanie said.

"Who?" Jim asked.

"The guy you just gave the small wave to. What a gorgeous man. I want to meet him."

"He's dating someone." Jim said sadly.

"Are you sure? I mean he was alone tonight." Melanie was trying to be helpful.

"Believe me, he's off the market."

"So you used to date him?"

Jim looked at her with sad eyes and said, "Yes. That's when I was still happy and had a life."

"It's never too late, Jim." Melanie leaned over and kissed him on the cheek.

Jim and Blair went back to working together as a team. Everything was fine on the surface. But underneath the entire bullpen could see the pain.

A week later Brown and Rafe were having a party and Jim decided he needed to go. He was miserable and had to get out. He walked into Rafe's apartment and said, "Where is everyone?"

"You're here early. The party starts at 8:00." Brown said.

"No, my invitation said 6:00." Jim argued.

"You can help us get things ready." Rafe said dragging Jim into the kitchen.


Brown opened the door to find Blair standing there. "Hey man, where is everyone?"

"The wrong time was put on a few of the invitations. Sorry." Brown pushed Blair into a chair.

Jim walked out carrying a bunch of stuff and just stared at Blair. Rafe walked over and put some mood music on and he and Brown walked into the kitchen.

"Would you like to dance?" Jim asked, as he set everything down.

"Jim, this isn't going to work." Blair was so sad.

"Are you in love with someone, Chief?" Jim held Blair tight as they danced.

"Yes, I'm in love with someone."

"I'm so sorry Chief. I'm so fucking sorry. I'll leave you alone now. I couldn't get over you. But I think I deserve to never get over you." Jim walked out the front door.

Blair caught up with him in the parking lot and shouted, "You're the man I'm in love with."

"Me?"

"Yes, you. But I need a man that will kiss me in front of people or hold my hand in front of people. We have to be more open." Blair was making a deal.

"Deal. I like this idea. I'm yours. You're mine. Forever and we have to be out. I can deal with that." Jim kissed him in the parking lot and could hear Rafe and Brown hooping and hollering.

"Jim, do I have to tell you that the don't call, don't write thingy is off?"

"Thank heaven for little boys." Jim sang to Blair.

"Hey, who you calling little. You usually call it something a little better."

"How about my new enormous friend?" Jim said with a large smile.

"I can live with that. Let's go home."

And that's just what they did. Coming out shouldn't have to be that hard, but sometimes you're just too afraid. Thank god Jim Ellison had his new enormous friend to point the way. And boy could it point.

End: Don't Call; Don't Write