Title: Do You Like Them Big and Dumb?

Author/psuedonym: Patt Paulos-Darrow

Pairing: Jim Ellison/Blair Sandburg

Rating:R

Category:Humorous Story

Date:August 10, 2000

Series/sequel: Working on it as we speak.

Status:new

Disclaimer: These guys don't belong to me, never did, never will, but I can dream. Petfly doesn't like to share. They also don't pay me, darn it anyhow.

Notes: This is basically pre-slash. But I want to build on it and get it there eventually. :)

Warning: m/m Nudity (Well, there is.)

Summary: The guys are on special assignment at a Nude Beach. Silliness abounds. <g>

Do You Like Them Big and Dumb?
by Patt Paulos-Darrow

Jim, Blair, Simon and Rafe go undercover at a nudist beach. Someone has been stealing from these very rich people.

At first they are a little uncomfortable, because after all, they all work together and there are kids here too. Blair is heard talking Jim out of the cabin, "Jim if we all looked like you, we'd be flying
out to that beach. Not all of us look as good naked as you do."

Jim growled, "Sandburg, I don't want to walk around naked, that's why god gave us clothing.

Blair laughed when he said, "Hell Jim, god didn't have anything to do with the clothing part. Remember, Adam and Eve only had fig leafs."

"Oh shut up," Jim said, and came out of the bathroom.

"Holy Shit," Blair said when he got his first look at Jim completely naked.

Jim turned and looked at Blair and realized he had never seen Blair naked and he looked damn good. And fuck if he didn't have the biggest goddamned cock he had ever seen. Ellison, he thought, since when have you noticed cocks and what size they are? Shit this was going to be one really long assignment.

As they went out the door, Simon and Rafe were talking to some people and Rafe turned to Jim and Blair and said, "Holy Shit, Sandburg, with what you are lacking in height you make up for in other regions."

Simon said, "Excuse me, Det. Rafe, but we are here to work not look at Sandburgs dick."

Sandburg said, "Thanks Simon. Now I suggest we get to work.

For the next six hours they didn't see each other again. They all tried to stay away from each other saying it was because of the job. But hell, they all knew it was because who wants to see their best friends naked. Plus, after seeing Blair's cock, shit, no one wanted to stand next to him.

This little girl walked up to her mother, who was standing next to Simon and said, "Mommy, why does that lady have bigger boobs than you?"

She said, "Susie the bigger the boobs, the dumber they are."

Susie seemed okay with this explanation as she went off down the beach. A moment later she came back and said, "Mommy, why is that man's penis bigger than Daddy's?

The mother decided to try the same story again, saying, "Well, the larger it is, the dumber they are."

Simon went off to tell Rafe what he had just heard this mother telling her daughter and they both just laughed their asses off. They were making their way back down to the beach when Simon said, "Rafe, there is the little girl with the questions."

They walked up towards them and just kind of hung out. (Well, they had no clothing on after all.) After a few moments the little girl said, "Mommy, come and look at this really dumb man on the beach."

The mother said, "Susie, that isn't nice to say. Why do you want to stare at someone and call them dumb?"

Susie said, "Mommy, you told me that when the penis was bigger they are dumber. Well, this man's penis is really big, so he must be really dumb."

Rafe and Simon couldn't help it, they had to look. There on the beach was Jim talking to a blond woman while bending over a partition. And behind him was Sandburg, staring at Jim's ass. And
needless to say, they only thought his cock was big before. Now it was huge.

They couldn't help it, they were roaring all the way back to their cabin. They couldn't wait to find out how Blair got himself out of that one.

Just as they got there, Blair came walking up and said, "Okay, Simon, I am officially off this case. Please don't ask me to explain, I just need to get out of here."

Simon said, "Sandburg, I'll let you take off if you can explain to me what's going on and why you need to leave."

Blair said, "Okay, I can't help it, I am walking around with a hard on all the time, every time I see these women I get hard. I have to get out of here. It's really embarrassing."

Simon said, "Okay, Sandburg good enough. Take off, I'll tell Jim what happened to you."

As Blair went into his cabin to pack, Simon looked at Rafe and said, "The woman was right, the bigger the cock, the dumber they are."

They laughed all the way into their cabin. Again, Blair didn't catch the clue bus. And Jim wasn't even at the stop.

END