Title: Customer Service Hell

Author: Scorpio

Fandom: The Sentinel

Pairing: J/B

Rating: PG-13 for language

Archive: Yes to any who want it....

Disclaimer: All things Sentinel belong to PetFly. I am not making any money form this.

Notes: This is a bit of a "Mary Sue". I am in this as the Customer Service Rep. I do this for a living in RL and I *had* to purge my bad day. Only Blair could help. I changed the name of the company I work for to protect the guilty and my job. . But yes,... this *is* what I do for 8 hours a day, 7 days a week. Pity me...

Warning: Language - Naughty word alert...

://indicates thought//

...:::after being on hold for over an hour and a half, three department transfers, and one accidental disconnection, Professor Blair Sandburg *finally* reaches a real live human being on the other end of the phone - Me:::...

SCORPIO: Thank you for calling Fuck You Book Publishing Company. My name is Scorpio N Mental-breakdown. This is the Message Center. How can I help you?

BLAIR: //Thank all the gods! A *real* person at last// Hi. My name is Blair Sandburg and I'm with Rainier University. I adopted a book for my Intro to Anthropology 101 class, and the bookstore ordered a new Edition,. so I need all new Instructors Manuals and Supplements. Uh,... I need them by tomorrow.

SCORPIO: //Of course you do. couldn't have ordered it a month ago,... no, you academics all have to wait until it's too late// Well, Sir. Here at the Message Center I *do* have a database of texts, however it is a limited one. I can look up your books and *if* I find them, I will be happy to send it to you Federal Express.

BLAIR: Great!

SCORPIO: However, that *does* take five to seven working days to arrive. //*If* it *ever* gets there. The idiots in the fulfillment department should be drawn and quartered.//

BLAIR: Can't you like,... overnight it?

SCORPIO: Sir, it takes time to process your order and package your books. *That's* why it takes a week to arrive. Can I have the correct spelling of the last name of the author?

BLAIR: What? Oh sure,... Uh... The ISBN number is 0-13-982...

SCORPIO: Sir? Sir, unfortunately the database at the Message Center does not take ISBN codes,... I can only look up books by author name and title name. May I have the name of the author?

BLAIR: What? That's kinda stupid. How can you know if it is the right text without using the ISBN?

SCORPIO: I don't. That's why I agree with you. Unfortunately, the computer simply doesn't accept ISBN's. I'm sorry. May I please have the name of the author?

BLAIR: Sure,... Uh,... Hold on while I get my old book?. Uh,... thanks. It's Koltier & Vasser.

SCORPIO: Could you please spell that for me?

BLAIR: Huh? Oh, yeah. KOLTIER and

SCORPIO: Was that K-O-O-T?...

BLAIR: No, no. It's K-O-*L*-T-I-E-R & V-A-S-S-E-R

SCORPIO: Thanks. And the name of the text?

BLAIR: Essential Guide to Indigenous Peoples of the Tropical Rain- forest Volume 2.

SCORPIO: //Uh-huh.// What edition should I look for?

BLAIR: The latest. //Duh!...//

SCORPIO: //Duh! What if it's not listed? You get an old edition then bud.// Okay. I have a third edition listed. It has a few supplements as well.

BLAIR: Okay,... what exactly is listed?

SCORPIO: I have an Instructors Manuel, a Study Guide, a transparency package, an Annotated Instructors Edition, a Solutions Manuel, a Test Bank, and a Internet 99 users pack.

BLAIR: I'll take one of each please.

SCORPIO: The Message Center's ordering system is set up as to allow only one copy of three titles per order. That would be a total of,... three separate orders Sir.

BLAIR: What? That's ridiculous.

SCORPIO: I agree 100%. However, I didn't design the program. //and I want to strangle the person who did// I *do* understand it though, so I know how to get around it.

BLAIR: What do you mean?

SCORPIO: Duplicate orders are purged by Instructor name. Just give me three separate names,... one for each order.

BLAIR: Oh... Okay. We can send one to me at my office, one to my assistant Penny, and one to my boyfriend Jim.

SCORPIO: Fine,... let me type in the codes for the first order and I'll get all the shipping information. //Only another three hours to go girl,... then you can go home and check out the Star Trek slash pages on the Internet. hang on girl// Okay, Sir. Give me the first shipping address.

BLAIR: That one will go to me. Blair,... that's B-L-A-I-R, Sandburg, that's...

the end.