Title: Christmas Without Blair

Author/psuedonym: Ramblin Rose

Pairing: J/B

Rating: R

Category: Humorous, Holiday Poetry

Date: December 6, 2000

Series/sequel: No, thankfully.

Status: new

Archive: It'll be at my page.

Disclaimer: These guys don't belong to me, never did, never will, but I can dream. Petfly doesn't like to share. They also don't pay me, darn it anyhow.

Notes: Thank you, Mary. You're the best. :)

Warning: Well there is almost fucking nudity in this one. That's for sure. But after all it's a holiday poem. Notice the first two sentences. I mean, this is probably going to go down in history as a classic.

Summary: Jim is left without Blair on Christmas and has to eat at his dad's house. He's not happy, as you might imagine. And this will be our new saying on the lists now. Merry Fuck. :)

Christmas Without Blair

By Patt

Jingle bells, Jingle Bells, who really gives a damn?
We are having turkey and also fucking ham.
I hope you didn't want to come; I like to be alone.
Because Blair won't be here, only talking on the phone.
I'm going to my dad's house, how fun will that be?
I can see it now; I'll get drunk and sing with glee.
Blair told me to settle down and have a good time.
I'll believe this when Blair becomes a mime.
I don't like holidays especially without my man.
He said he'd still try to make it if he can.
I'm not holding my breath.
God, I welcome death.
Dinner at my dad's; what more could go wrong?
Oh yeah, there's that part where I break out in song.
Simon called me in his office to take pity on a poor soul.
Well, someone had to do it, and he made it his goal.
I miss Blair so much and I feel so lonely and blue.
Can't wait to talk to him, so I can say, "I love you."
I arrive at my dad's wearing that fake smile.
And hopefully I'll get out of there in a short while.
But as I sit there, I see them and they seem lonely to boot.
Who would have thought that about my dad, the old coot?
So I stick around, I let him tell me some silly old tales.
I call Blair on my cell phone, but all the tries fail.
I'm getting more depressed as the night rambles by.
Jesus, the next thing I know I'll start to cry.
I miss Blair; I wanted us to be together.
Not separated by miles of fucking bad weather.
My dad goes to answer the door and I hear my one true love.
As I lift my head up and thank the heavens above.
He kisses me soundly as he pulls me into his arms.
And I know that he'll save me from this holiday harm.
Time to say goodbye, giving hugs and wishing them all well.
As Blair gives me dirty looks, that are saying, you're going to hell.
I lean in and whisper to him; "You can be on top."
Blair says his goodbyes and yell's "don't stop."
We fly out the door and talk of all of our plans.
I have a hard time driving pushing off his hands.
We make little noises in each other ears when I stop at a light.
And when we get home, we have to put our clothes on right.
We run up the stairs, and Blair sees the lights in the loft blinking.
He asks me a question, but sadly I am way past thinking.
I fly up the stairs and put on some Christmas Tunes.
And we light up the candles, for Christmas time fumes.
Oh I'm so glad he's home, I'm so glad there he is back.
Now he can fuck my brains out and get me on track.
He says "Merry Christmas and I wish you luck."
I see the gleam in his eye and I say, "Merry Fuck."
*****