This whole mess had started after Jim read one of Blair’s magazines featuring a breakthrough in men carrying children. He knew that Blair would make a great father. Being secure in their relationship, he had gone ahead. When he found out he was pregnant he had been so excited and had assumed Blair would be as well and had planned the dinner to surprise him. Jim knew now he was very wrong in how he had gone about it but he could not undo it and he was counting on Blair’s love for him to forgive him. He knew it would be rough but in the end he was sure that Blair would come around.

At around noon, Jim heard Blair groan and move. Jim went to make a fresh pot of coffee. Standing with his back to the counter, he watched Blair stumble to the bathroom.

Jim poured two cups of coffee, and added some Scotch to Blair’s, hoping to abate the hangover a bit so they could talk. He heard the toilet flush and the shower come on briefly. After which, Blair came out with a towel around his waist, his hair wet but unwashed and a shadow of dark stubble covering his face.

Jim’s heart was full of remorse as he looked at Blair who refused to look at him.

“Blair.”

“Don’t talk to me.” Blair growled as he lifted his coffee to his lips and groaned as it went down. Noticing the Scotch added to his coffee for a brief second he considered giving Jim a break but the thought was quickly squashed as the reason he was angry surfaced and he was not going to let Jim off that easy. Blair leaned back in his chair, eyes closed since his head hurt a little less that way. Why was he doing this? He really didn’t know. He was just so hurt that he wanted to fight back. What with the head ache and the sandy feeling behind his eyes he was not sure what he had accomplished.

“You may as well go to work I am not ready to talk to you yet. I gather you called Simon,” he said with eyes still closed.

“I left a message that we wouldn’t make it in, but I can go in.” Jim said the words but in his heart he didn’t want to leave Blair like this, he had hoped that when Blair came out of the bathroom he would be ready to talk. “You let me know when you’re ready to talk.”

“You assume a lot lately.” Blair replied. An adrenaline rush coursed through his body at those words and he did not look at Jim. He knew he had hurt him. Maybe Jim should hurt like he did.

Jim couldn’t believe what he had just heard. “Blair, I know I hurt you but please let’s talk about it. Let me explain,” he tried talking quietly. “I love you, Blair, and if I could I would undo this but…” Jim took a deep breath to hold back his emotions since this was not the time. This was about what he had done to Blair. “Babe, I can’t undo it and seeing you like this is tearing me apart. Please…I don’t know what else to say except I am so sorry. Please forgive me.”

Blair heard Jim and his heart wanted to give in to Jim but his head wouldn’t do it. “Jim, do you remember our wedding vows? One of them was we would always talk to each other before we made any decisions?”

“Blair, you know I do and I was wrong on making this decision alone, I see that now but, on the other hand, there is a new life involved that’s not responsible and will be hurt.” Jim stopped when he saw the hard look still on Blair’s face.

Blair heard the words ‘a new life’ and he couldn’t explain why he felt what he did. This was not like him and he knew it.

Jim couldn’t say another word without being afraid he would make things worse. Maybe after Blair had slept some more and Jim had made him his favorite dinner, Blair would talk to him.

Blair didn’t say another word and Jim picked up his jacket and keys. Walking to the door he looked back at the silent figure. Head hanging down, he walked out.

Blair heard the door close and with a pained expression, he looked at the door that had closed so quietly behind Jim, the love of his life. He had never before thought what it would feel like to live without Jim but now it niggled at his mind. Could he live with someone who would betray him like this?

Part of him wanted to run after Jim and make up but the defiant part couldn’t do it. His heart ached with the hurt all over again. He always pictured the perfect family when he thought of any children he would ever have. He had told everyone he was lucky for such a nontraditional upbringing, but in his heart he had never felt that way. He had wanted the same house to call home year after year not just for a season. He would have given anything to have a daddy growing up and he wanted that for his child.

What was he thinking? That is what his child would have with Jim and him --not a traditional family but still two loving parents.

Blair groaned. This was not getting him anywhere-- he was supposed to be mad. “Aww shit. I hate him.” No, I don’t. The problem is I love him.

*

The drive to the precinct was hazy Jim didn’t remember most of the drive. He was honked at for not moving when a light turned green, he stopped at a stop sign and forgot why until someone drove past him giving him the bird. What if he lost Blair over this? Did Blair not want his baby? How could he have been so wrong?

Jim walked into Major Crimes. One look at his face and everyone pretended not to notice him. Simon looked up and seeing his friend walk in alone after the earlier message, Simon walked over to his doorway and motioned Jim to come inside. Once his best friend was inside he closed the door and poured Jim a coffee. “What happened?”

“I really don’t want to talk about it.”

“I assume this has to do with Sandburg and I thought you took him out for a romantic dinner?”

Jim sat down hard. Leaning forward elbows on his knees he put his head in his hands.

Simon sat down on the edge of his desk “I gather something happened between you two last night.”

“Yes, Blair isn’t talking to me. In fact he doesn’t even want to see me. He won’t be in all day, since he has the biggest hangover of his life right now.”

Simon looked at Jim in disbelief. “What did you do?”

“I really don’t want to talk about it until Blair and I have discussed it. I made a huge mistake already by doing something without discussing it with him first, and I do not want to make it worse by talking about it with anyone else.”

“Alright, then go out there and catch up on that pile of paperwork. I have an appointment with the Captain of Vice.”

Jim sat at his desk all day and pretended to do paper work, and no one bothered him.

*

Blair had gone back to bed after Jim left. When he woke up a few hours later, he showered and shaved then packed a bag. He could not stand the sight of Jim right now. He needed time to process and think. Yes, he loved Jim but the man he loved would never do something like this to him. Bringing a child into this world was a big decision. How could Jim have made this decision without talking to him first? How could Jim do this to him?

Blair looked around the loft before he walked out, all the good times running through his mind. Then he remembered why he was standing at the door and the pain washed through him and he turned around, slowly walked out of the loft and gently closed the door behind him. He stood in the hall outside the loft looking at the closed door. He never would have dreamed that things would turn out like this. Taking a deep breath, he walked away.

Terri was a professor of English at Rainer, whom Blair had met a few years ago when someone had spray-painted hate slogans on Terri’s office door. Blair had offered to help him clean it up. Some of the students seeing this had challenged him, but he held his own and would not desert his new friend. Blair had been the only one who could talk Boris, Terri’s lover, out of going after the students that had taunted them.

His head still hurt from his hangover when he approached the door to his friend’s home. Blair knocked softly as he turned to frown at the kids playing soccer across the street. Couldn’t they do it with less shouting?

The door opened and he turned to face his friend whose face lost the smile when he took a close look at Blair.

“Blair, sweetie, you look awful. Come inside and tell me about it.” Terri put his arm around Blair and pulled him inside. Taking Blair’s bag from his hand, he set it on the floor. Blair found himself in a warm gentle hug.

“Let me make some tea and we’ll talk.” Placing a gentle finger under the sad man’s chin, Terri held his gaze. “I think you could use something to eat. Come in the kitchen and I’ll make you an omelet.” Terri pulled Blair into the kitchen, steering him into a chair at the table.

“So tell me what’s happened since we last talked I haven’t seen you and I assumed everything was going well in paradise,” Terri said, as he shook the kettle and took it to the sink to put more water in it.

“It was. Couldn’t have been better, I’m sorry if I ignored you but all I wanted to do was spend time with Jim. I couldn’t get enough of him.”

Terri turned the stove on under the kettle and faced Blair. “That’s how it is when love is hot and you can’t get enough of each other and you think neither of you can do any wrong and then something happens and we have a tendency to blow it a little out of proportion.”

“Terri!” Blair shouted and cringed, lowering his voice “I hate hangovers.” He carried on talking softer. “Don’t you dare tell me I blew this out of proportion, when you don’t even know what happened and, believe me, I did not blow it out of proportion.”

Terri came and put his hand on Blair’s shoulder “I’m not saying anything. Just making a point, sweetie.” Terry went to make the tea when the kettle whistled. “So tell me what happened.” He turned to look at Blair as he spoke. Seeing the pain cross the young man’s features he quickly changed the topic. “Blair, forgive me, you are not ready to talk about it. We’ll just hang out today.” He put a cup of tea on the table. Blair nodded as he took a sip.

The front door slammed and Blair cringed at the noise. Terri opened a cupboard taking out a bottle of aspirin, shook out two and handed them to Blair.

“Is that Blair’s car I see out front?” A loud voice boomed from the front door where they heard two thuds as someone took off their shoes. This would be Terri’s better half, the total opposite of Terri. Where Terri was the stereotypical gay man, Boris was loud and rough, a weight lifting instructor at the local gym. The loud sound of footsteps came into the kitchen. Taking one look at Blair, he roughly pulled him up into his muscled arms and held him. “What has Ellison done?” he crooned in Blair’s ear as Terri came over and gently rubbed Blair’s shoulder, whispering to Boris, “shhhh…he has a hangover.”

“Boris, Blair is going to stay here in the spare room for a while. No one will be doing anything to Ellison unless Blair says so.”

When there was no response, Terri spoke again. “Right, Boris, honey, no one does anything to anyone - you hear me?”

“Yes lover, I hear you.” Boris let Blair sit back down and sat across from him. Terri put a cup of tea down in front of him and sat down at the table as well. They all quietly sipped their tea.

“I was going to make Blair an omelet but now that you’re here why don’t we make dinner instead?”

“Could I just lie down for a while? Let me know when dinner is ready. Just don’t make too much for me.” Blair spoke quietly.

“Sure, sweetie,” Terri went to the fridge and took out a bottle of water. “Come, let me take your bag to the room for you.” They walked towards the spare room, Terri detouring to retrieve the bag.

“Make yourself at home and stay as long as you need. Drink this water. It’s the best thing for a hangover.” Terri closed the door behind him and went back into the kitchen where he sat down on Boris’ lap. Boris leaned into Terri’s chest and sighed.

“I gather he hasn’t told you anything.”

“Not a thing,” Terri softly answered.

Part 3

Jim came home that evening not sure what he would find. Blair not being home came as no surprise. He hadn’t eaten all day and knew he should eat something. Opening the fridge he decided on a sandwich. Mechanically he pulled out the makings of a sandwich. He automatically put everything back when he was done. He stood over the counter while he ate. Hoping Blair would come home, he watched the clock on the stove. Finishing his sandwich, he sat down in front of the black screen of the TV. When it reached midnight, he had to admit to himself Blair was not coming home. Out of exhaustion he fell into bed and slept.

He woke up at five a.m. Without thought he checked for Blair. When he didn’t hear the familiar heartbeat in the loft he rolled over, tears silently slid down his cheeks, and he tried to go back to sleep.

At seven he rolled out of bed, had a shower and coffee and headed to work. The last thing he expected was Blair to be there chatting and laughing with Megan.

He knew he had hurt Blair and hadn’t thought about what would happen if their first meeting would be in public. Anger at what Blair was doing to him ate at him. Why would he show up at work as if nothing was wrong. Jim wasn’t sure whether he was supposed to feel relieved that maybe Blair had decided that he wasn’t mad anymore or upset that Blair hadn’t called to tell him.

Taking a deep breath, he headed towards his partner. Before he got halfway, Blair without looking at him, walked away. Jim stopped mid step and watched as Blair walked out of the room.

Megan watched with confusion, her eyes moving from one to the other. She wasn’t sure what was happening but she didn’t miss the hurt look on Jim’s face as he watched Blair’s back disappear down the hall.

Rafe and Brown looked at each other and shrugged their shoulders.

Megan walked over to stand beside Jim. “Want to tell me what is going on?”

Without looking at her, Jim answered. “You mean Sandburg hasn’t told you already?”

“No, and it seems someone should, if we are going to have to watch the two of you behave like juveniles.”

“Then you ask Blair.” Jim said as he moved and walked towards the captain’s office without knocking he walked in and closed the door. Moving towards the coffee maker he picked up a mug and poured himself a cup.

Simon watched without saying a word until Jim had his coffee and sat down.

“Jim, Blair already talked to me and asked for a new partner and I agreed. So I partnered him with a rookie that has been assigned to Major Crimes. You’ll work with Megan for now.” Looking closely at Jim he continued “I expect you two to work this out.”

“Yes Sir.

Simon’s eyebrows lifted in surprise. This was a rare Jim. Taking a deep breath, he spoke.

“Do you need to talk about it? I’ve never seen the two of you like this.”

“I don’t want to talk. I don’t need to rehash it. Blair will come around. He always does, he just needs a few days.”

“I hope so because that is all I intend to give you.” Simon stood up and opened his door and bellowed “Conner.” After which, he went to his desk and picked up a file and held it out to Jim.

Jim took the file Simon held. As he looked up his eyes moved out to the bullpen and watched Blair sit down at his desk.

Simon followed his gaze and watched as a gorgeous blonde moved her chair next to Blair’s. Simon looked at the man standing in front of him and saw the jaws clenched tight.

“That’s the rookie I assigned to Sandburg.”

Jim looked at Simon.

Megan, having walked in on the last words, watched the interaction her head swiveling from Blair to Jim to Simon then to the blonde sitting close to Blair, her head almost touching his as they both read a file Blair was holding.

Megan looked from Jim to Simon, frowning. “Is there something I should know because….”

“No, Conner, there’s nothing,” Jim answered much too quickly for the inspector.

“The Commissioner asked for you on this one. It seems his mother is being stalked. Now get out of here, you two, and get started.”

“Any idea who it could be?” Jim asked.

“That’s why he asked for our help.” Simon answered sarcastically.

Stepping out of Simon’s office, Jim saw Blair talking to his new partner and of course she was flirting. Jim fought the jealousy within him. He trusted Blair wouldn’t cheat on him, but he couldn’t go on like this-- he would have to fix this and soon. Between the queasy stomach with morning sickness and the tears at a moments notice, it was getting to be too much. How did women do this? His hormones were a mess.

Simon looked at what had Jim’s jaw working. “Jim, don’t you go making trouble now.”

“Why would I do that? You made the decision that Sandburg could handle the rookie so who am I to say otherwise?”

Jim walked away Conner followed after a brief glance at Simon.

“Conner, I guess the first thing we need to do is talk to the Commissioner’s mother.” Jim said, as he walked by Blair as if he was not even there. Jim’s stomach was turning at the deliberate action, holding out the file for Megan he asked. “What is the address?” With his nose forward he quickly walked out of the bull pen.

Conner yanked the file from Jim’s outstretched hand along with a look that said it all but she kept it to herself and opened the file as they got to the elevator. They got in and Jim pushed the garage button. “943 Sunnyside Drive.” She answered rather tersely.

“I’m driving.” Was Jim’s response.

“No surprise.” Conner shot back.

It was a quiet drive to the address of the Commissioner’s mother. Connor occasionally looked at Jim’s profile. Jim felt the looks and ignored them so she would not think it was an opening to start a conversation, especially when he knew it would lead to him and Blair.

Conner had the file open. “Says here Mrs. Maitland is a widow and has been for ten years.”

Jim parked his truck. Jumping out he took huge strides, he had seen the looks Megan had shot his way in the truck on the way here and he was not going to give her a chance to start something now. At the door he reached to ring the bell his back to Conner he waited legs spread and hands crossed over his crotch ID in hand. Conner came up beside him ready to ask him what the fuck was wrong with him, this was not a race, just then door opened.

“Good morning, Mrs. Maitland” Jim held up his badge, “I’m Detective James Ellison and this is Inspector Conner. We’re here about the stalker.”

“Come on in.” She held the door open wide for them to enter “Can I get you anything?” she asked as she led them into the living room.

Conner took a close look at Mrs. Maitland, she was obviously trying to appear younger than she was. The skirt was way too short for someone her age and the sweater too tight. Make up expertly applied could not hide her age.

Conner watched Jim eye the ass moving provocatively before him shaking his head. He looked at Megan who rolled her eyes grinning from ear to ear.

“No, thanks,” Jim answered. “What can you tell us about the stalker?”

“He’s young and blond, well built” she looked Jim up and down. “…Like you Detective.” Jim couldn’t believe the audacity of the woman. She knew who it was she was flirting with him.

Conner moved forward and stood in front Jim “Do you know anyone who would fit this description?”

“Yes, the Pilates instructor, Carter, at the gym I go to.”

“We’ll go talk to him. Which gym is it?”

“It’s the one on Seventh Avenue,” she said sweetly looking at Jim and ignoring Conner as best she could, considering Conner stood between her and Jim.

“How many times have you noticed him and where were you when you saw him?”

The old lady thought for a little while. “I’m not sure really how many times—three, maybe four. Once in the kitchen window while I was doing dishes.”

Jim stepped forward “show us the kitchen, please,” he said.

Conner stepped back and watched Mrs. Mailand give Jim a lecherous smile as she headed out of the room. Smiling, Conner followed, wondering what the old woman would say if she knew Jim was not interested in women.

Jim turned to Conner and, seeing the mischievous grin on her face he raised his eyebrows and she shrugged her shoulders. Not being able to resist she mimicked Mrs. Maitland’s walk perfectly. Pleased with herself when she saw Jim smile.

When they reached the kitchen and Mrs. Maitland turned around, Conner smiled sweetly at her.

“We’ll need to know what day and the time,” Conner asked as Jim walked towards the back door and went outside. Conner noticed Mrs. Maitland watch Jim. Once he was out of sight she looked back at Conner not at all ashamed at having been caught. She met Conner’s knowing gaze boldly.

“What was that?” she asked.

Conner smiled and repeated the question once more.

“The day would have been Tuesday and I’m not sure about the time.”

“Try to remember. It’s important.”

“Are you sure that young man doesn’t need me to explain anything to him?” she asked hopefully.

Conner was not going to be sidetracked. “Time, Mrs. Maitland.”

The smile was fading now. She looked at the clock on the wall. “Seven thirty I guess.”

“Mrs. Maitland, it’s important that you know, not guess.”

“The Commissioner is my son, you know.”

“Yes, we know and that is why we want to make sure we get all the information so we can catch whoever did this.”

“It was seven thirty.”

Conner knew that she was lying. First of all, she didn’t look like the type who ever did any dishes. Her nails were too long no gloves would fit over them. If anyone looked in that window at seven thirty, she would have seen them clearly, if they could get close enough with those rose bushes in front of the window.

“You said there were a few more times. Tell me about them.”

Mrs. Maitland started playing with the many rings on her fingers. Conner was patient she knew this lady was lying, even if she didn’t know why.

“Mrs. Maitland, are you all right?”

“Oh, yes. Well one was while I was shopping, but I’m not sure of the day though. The other time was while I was taking my usual evening walk.”

“You walk alone?”

“No I always walk with the neighbor Mrs. Wallen and this was Friday of last week and I do not know what time. We always walk around seven.”

“What days of the week?”

“Every evening.”

“For how long?”

“An hour?”

“Always an hour?”

“Yes.”

Jim came back inside. “Conner did you get everything?”

“Yes, I think we have all we need.”

Jim smiled at Mrs. Maitland, as he put out his hand, which she took in both her hands leading him towards the front door. “Thank you for coming, Detective, and I’ll be waiting to hear from you.”

Jim pulled his hand out of hers, walking ahead of her so he could open the door and escape. She gave him the creeps. He knew she was lying-- her palms were sweaty and her heart was beating a little faster not much since she really believed she could get away with it-- probably because her son was the Commissioner.

Conner turned at the door. “If you think of anything else, give us a call. Here is my card.”

Nothing was said as they walked back to the truck.

“The old lady is lying there is no stalker, she slept with him and she now can’t get rid of him and is using her son’s job as Commissioner to get rid of her ex-lover.” Conner volunteered.

“Another thing she said he was outside the kitchen window at seven thirty but she also said she walks with the neighbor every evening at seven for an hour.”

“I know she is lying, we’ll talk to this instructor at the gym and I’m sure that will be the end of it.”

The two remained silent the rest of the way to the gym. Megan looked over at Jim, seeing the dark circles around his eyes. She didn’t say anything -- she knew Jim Ellison well enough to know that he would not take it well if she said anything to him about his personal life. She would ask Sandy later.

Parking the truck, they went inside to find Carter.

“Hello, Ellison.” A loud voice threatened to vibrate the mirrors on all the walls.

Jim’s eyes met the eyes of the man who had spoken. “Boris, how are you?’

“I am great. What brings you here?”

“We need to speak to a Carter who teaches Pilates.”

“Carter.” Boris bellowed. A young man looked up from where he was talking to a young woman on one of the exercise machines. Boris walked off without another word.

Carter said something to the young woman and came over. Jim showed his badge. “We have a few questions to ask you about Mrs. Maitland.”

“That woman is loony toons, man. She came onto me. When I turned her down, she tried to book me as her personal trainer. When I didn’t have an opening, she expected me to let someone go so she could have a spot. I wouldn’t do it so she threatened me with her son the Commissioner. I still wouldn’t do it.”

“Where were you on Tuesday at seven thirty?”

“Actually I was at home sleeping because I had been up since four a.m.”

“Alone?”

“Yes, alone. Why are you asking these questions? What does the old bat say I’ve done?”

While Jim was writing, Carter watched with a furrowed forehead. “What time did you say?’

Jim looked up at him. “Seven thirty.”

“My girl called me at around seven fifteen and we talked for about forty-five minutes.”

“You’ll have to give me her name.” Jim felt sick all of a sudden.

“Darlene Bronte. I guess you want her phone number and address?”

“Conner, would you take those down?” Jim asked. Megan watched as Jim hurried off. Slowly Megan turned back to face Carter.

“Her phone number and address?”

“Ellison?” Boris said as he saw the white-faced Jim hurrying towards him.

“Bathroom?” was all Jim got out before he clamped his hand over his mouth.

Boris led him to the private one off the offices. He stood in the doorway as he watched Jim loose what little he had in his stomach.

Wetting a paper towel, Boris handed it to Jim when he stood up.

“Jim, I think you should go home. You don’t look so good.”

Jim wiped his face with the paper towel. “I’ll be fine.”

“I thought Blair was your partner.”

“At the moment, he’s been assigned a rookie and I’m partnered with Conner.”

“I have never seen him like he was last night, when he came to stay with us.”

Jim looked at Boris, turned to leave and then turned back. “I love him, you know that and if you’ve seen him, tell him we can’t fix this if he won’t talk to me.” Jim sighed. “I know you and Terri are good friends with Blair and I really didn’t do anything to intentionally hurt him.” Jim put his head down as his eyes filled up. He hated this emotional side of the pregnancy.

“I’ve got to go.” He turned to leave. A hand holding his arm gently stopped him.

“Come in here.” Boris led him into an empty office.

“Blair is at our place but he won’t talk about whatever happened.”

“I know he’s mad at me, but I can’t make it right if he won’t talk to me.”

“Sometimes I can be a little insensitive to Terri but a few roses and he is waiting for me with open arms when I get home.”

Jim smiled at the picture of Boris sending flowers to anyone. “I can’t see Blair accepting any flowers from me.”

“After seeing Blair yesterday, I was ready to tear you apart for him but, seeing you here today and the pain in your eyes, I know you’re hurting as bad as he is. I want to help, so call me if there is anything I can do. I won’t tell Blair we talked.”

“Here’s a suggestion. You better tell him. Don’t lie to him at this point, he would just be angrier at me and I couldn’t handle it.”

“You know him well. I will tell him you came in. After all it was business.”

“Tell him I miss him and ask him to call me.” Jim said in shaky voice.

Boris watched the broken man walk out. Thoughtfully, he watched Jim join his partner in the truck. He would love to know what would do this to two men who obviously cared so much for each other.

Part 4

Jim and Megan headed straight for Simon’s office. When they arrived at Major Crimes, Jim dropped the file on the Captain’s desk. Megan came and stood next to him.

“Sir, thought you would want to hear about the case before we do the paper work and close it.” Jim said.

“Tell me what happened.” Simon said with a sigh.

“It seems Mrs. Maitland propositioned the said stalker and when he turned her down she threatened him with her son the Commissioner. When that didn’t work she made up this stalking story.”

“We checked out his whereabouts at the time of the alleged incidents and he has alibis,” Megan added.

Simon shook his head and reached for the file. “Go write it up and then take a look at this,” He said picking up a file on his left and handing it to Jim.

Jim saw the rookie come in as they walked out of Simon’s office. Standing still he watched her, Conner stopped and looked at Jim then at Candice, who was oblivious to the killer look that was being shot at her.

“Conner, let’s do this at your desk.” He pulled a chair from a desk nearby and placed it facing the side of Conner’s desk with his back to the rest of the room.

Blair came in and saw Jim his feet up on the corner of Conner’s desk. Walking over to his desk, he kept his eyes on Jim and Megan. Blair waited for Jim to turn and acknowledge him but he didn’t. Blair sat down at his desk, pulled out the case file he and Candice were working on and turned on the computer to show her how to enter the information they had found so far.

The second Blair had entered the room Jim’s hearing had automatically focused on Blair and he hadn’t heard a word Megan had said. It took all his self-control to stay where he was. Maybe talking to Blair here would be a good idea, since he couldn’t act like a jerk. It’s not like everyone couldn’t tell they weren’t talking to each other.

Megan slammed the folder closed. “All right, Ellison. Talk.”

He pulled his feet off her desk. “What about?” He asked, startled at her tone.

“You and Sandy obviously are having a problem and if I have to be your partner, we should talk about it. I don’t think we’ll get a lot done if your mind is on the other side of the room.”

“Mind your own life not mine. I need a cup of coffee.”

“Ellison.” Simon called.

Blair looked up and watched Jim head into the Captain’s office without looking at him.

“Candice I’ll be right back.” Blair walked into the Captain’s office without knocking.

“Sandburg something wrong with your hearing?”

“I need to talk to Jim.” Blair looked at Jim as he spoke not at all bothered by his bosses tone.

“It’s about time. Don’t take too long. This is my office.” Simon said gruffly, jamming his cigar into his mouth as he headed out, closing the door behind himself.

When Simon closed the door Jim walked over to the window and looked out over Cascade. Blair stood behind him.

Candice was watching the two with a thoughtful look on her face. Megan read the girl’s body language and realized that Candice had a thing for Blair she went over to Candice. “Let’s get a coffee our partners could both be a while.”

“What’s going on?”

“Those two have been partners for years. I’m gathering they had a disagreement and Simon split them for a while.”

“I didn’t know they had been partners. Blair never said anything.”

“Blair wouldn’t say anything but they have the best arrest record in the city.”

“Oh.” Candice said, as she took one more look at the two in the Captain’s office before she followed Megan.

Megan put her change into a machine and pushed the button for a tuna sandwich. When it fell in the slot, she reached for it. Opening the wrapping she sniffed it and took a bite.

Candice changed her mind about wanting anything and just sat down at the table watching Megan eat.

“How long do you think they will be?” Candice asked watching Megan closely.

“I don’t know.” Megan said turning her sandwich in every direction looking at it.

“What made you decide to be a detective?”

“I came to the precinct one day to meet my father for lunch and after he gave me a tour I knew I wanted to be a detective.” Candice shrugged her shoulders when she was done running her hand across the table as if pushing non-existent crumbs off.

“Who is your dad? Maybe I know him.”

“I don’t think so.” Candice got up and headed out the door. “I think it’s time Blair and I got back to work on our case.”

Megan stopped in mid bite to watch the blonde walk out wiggling her ass. Megan took her bite as Candice moved out of sight. *Poor Sandy. He better watch himself. All men are suckers for women like that.*

Blair started across the room towards Jim. “Jim you can’t ignore me at work.”

Jim swung around. “What? We talk or we don’t, you can’t have it both ways.”

Blair’s defiant stare met Jim’s sad eyes. How could he tell the others that Jim was pregnant and it was his? He was having trouble wrapping his mind around it.

Blair had to say something but had no idea what or how, finally he just blurted out, “Jim, it isn’t fair to the others working here if we don’t at least act like we are talking.”

Jim didn’t move away from the window, his voice lowered to a whisper because he didn’t trust himself to talk. “I can’t undo it, and I don’t want to. If you don’t want this child with me, I will have it alone.”

“Jim…I…you…I don’t know what to say. What are you going to do…?”

“I’ve decided that when Simon comes back in here I’m resigning from the department and working for my father. I’ll find a house in the suburbs suited for raising a child. You can have the loft.”

“Jim I don’t want the loft I want you. But what will everyone say when you show up at work once the baby inside you grows?”

Jim, hearing the first part, was all ready to turn and hug his partner, thinking it was an apology but when the second part registered in his ears, his heart sank with a resounding thud and his mouth opened and words poured out. “You’re embarrassed by my being pregnant! I never would have thought Naomi’s son would have a problem with this.”

“Jim I…didn’t say that.”

Jim turned away and faced the window again, tears flowing down his cheeks. He hated these emotional tears. Yes this was upsetting, but he should be able to control himself better than this. After all he had been a ranger.

Blair moved so he could see Jim’s face, seeing the tears rolling down those strong cheeks. Without thinking, he said, “Wipe your face and pull yourself together.” Blair turned to walk away but stopped and turned around. “Jim, I’m sorry that was not kind but I am really having a hard time with the fact that you didn’t discuss it with me.”

Blair couldn’t stand to see Jim like this. He didn’t know what to do. “Jim what if I didn’t want a child? We’ve never discussed having children.”

Jim groaned “Blair, you’re a wonderful teacher and the way you love people, you would make the best father around. I never thought you would feel like this or I wouldn’t have done it. If I could undo it I would and I have already apologized for not discussing it first. “What more can I do? Tell me.”

“Tell me how you managed to do this without me having any idea what you were doing? How did you get my sperm?”

Before Jim could answer, Blair did it for him. “There is only one way. You took a condom out of the garbage, didn’t you? Of all the despicable things….”

Jim heard the disgust in his voice and before he could think of an answer, he heard Blair open the door and leave.

Jim fell into the sofa. He couldn’t even hold a conversation without tears. How many months of this were there?

Simon had decided ten minutes was enough and headed for his office, He walked back into Major Crimes just as Candice was walking towards Blair who was coming out his office.

One look at Jim and Simon he closed the door and brought down the blinds. “Jim, what happened? I know you two are having a lover’s spat but I thought I would come in here and pry you two apart and the windows all fogged up.”

Simon looked at the most pathetic sight he thought he would ever see-- Jim Ellison with red eyes, tear tracks running down his face.

Someone knocked. “I’m busy. Leave a message with Rhonda.”

Simon retrieved the tissue box from his desk and put it down beside Jim as he sat down on the sofa as well. “Jim, I think you better tell me about it. You can’t keep something that does this to you to yourself.”

“I can’t tell you but it’s the medication and I have to resign effective right now I can’t work here and look at Blair every day.” Jim took a handful of tissues and wiped his face.

“What medication does this to someone? Stop taking it.”

Jim sat down behind Simon’s desk to type out his resignation. “I can’t and don’t worry, it’s not fatal. I will be fine soon.”

“Jim we’re friends and you need to tell me what’s wrong. None of this makes sense. You’re fighting over something that is wrong with you and Blair is being insensitive. What’s wrong with this picture?”

Jim ignored Simon. When the letter was printed out, he signed it. Taking out his gun, he and put it on the desk with his badge.

Taking the resignation from Jim, Simon looked at it. Seeing that Jim was not going to answer him, he sighed and gave up. Opening the blinds he said. “You will call me once in a while and let me know how you’re doing?”

“Of course Simon” Jim agreed a slow smile brightened his face, for a brief moment as he shook Simon’s hand.

“One more thing. Don’t go taking this out on Blair. Believe me when I say I made a mistake. I am going to sign the loft over to Blair and look for a new place to live.”

Candice was talking when the blinds were raised Blair looked up and watched as Simon opened every one of them.

“Blair are you listening to me?”

“Sorry Candice. What were you saying?” Blair asked, not taking his eyes off the window and watching Jim and Simon. Jim shook Simon’s hand with a feeble smile said a few words and walked out of the office and out of Major Crimes, without looking left or right. He never saw Blair get up as he walked by or Megan get up as she saw him come out ready to talk their new case over with her partner. The last sound he heard was Simon calling Conner into his office and Candice’s whiny voice asking “Blair did you hear me?”

ONE MONTH LATER

William Ellison had happily hired Jim, overjoyed that his son was not in a gay relationship anymore. William genuinely hoped that Jim would find the right woman and get married.

When his father encouraged Jim to buy the property around the corner from his, Jim agreed, knowing he would need a place to raise his child and he wanted his child to know his family. Blair had said he wanted a normal life for his child and this was as normal as Jim could manage under the circumstances.

As a housewarming gift, William Ellison offered to supply an interior decorator for Jim’s new home. While this was being done Jim stayed at his father’s home.

Every morning Jim awoke, he ran for the bathroom. He hated the morning sickness but, if he had a choice, he would take that over the tears that threatened constantly. He thought of cutting back on the hormones but the health of his child meant more to him.

Each night, after the contractor left, Jim would wander through his home alone and think about Blair and how he missed him. It had been a month and they hadn’t seen each other. Blair apparently was still thinking.

Jim had met Simon for lunch once and it hadn’t been easy. When Jim ordered a salad with a chicken breast and a glass of milk, Simon had commented. Jim had been quick with a cover story that he had a bug and his stomach was a little sensitive.

Stephen was happy to have his brother around. He had tried to ask a number of times what had happened between Jim and Blair and Jim refused to talk about it. Steven, unlike his father saw how unhappy Jim was. Steven had also noticed the occasional red eyes. He didn’t dare say anything about it since Jim had always avoided his eyes at those times and quickly found a reason to walk away.

Jim felt strange that they were finally a family. There was still something missing, and even though he knew what it was, this was one thing he couldn’t do anything about.

*

Blair sat down at his desk, took the file off the top of the stack and opened it. Candice came up behind him and threw her arms around his shoulders. “What are we working on today?”

Blair unwound her arms from his shoulders and pulled her away from behind him and sternly said, “I thought I asked you not to do that.”

“Oh, don’t be like that.” She flounced into her chair. “Remember my brother Mike?”

Blair’s head shot up at the mention of her brother. He remembered him all right. “Yeah, met him in the bar last week, when we went for a drink after work.” Blair answered maybe a little too casually. What he did not say was the instant Mike’s eyes had met Blair’s they both felt the attraction. After Candice had gone home, they had gone to Mike’s place. He was not sure how she would feel if she knew he was going out with her brother. Especially since he would have to be blind not to know how she felt about him.

“I’m meeting him for lunch today,” Candice said.

Blair saw Simon go into his office. “That’s great, Candice, but I have to talk to Simon. Enter this file into the computer.”

“Sure,” she said, giving him a strange look as he walked away. ‘What was that about?’ she thought Blair was one hot hunk and she was getting impatient waiting for him to notice her. She knew the fraternization rules. That was why she was meeting her brother for lunch to ask him for advice. Since he worked for the PD as well; she hoped he could help her out.

Blair knocked and waited for the “Come” before he entered. Carefully, he closed the door.

“How is the rookie?” Simon asked at he sat down behind his desk motioning for Blair to sit.

“Simon, how did she get this job? It’s as if she isn’t really interested. If she can, she will slack like she’s doing right now out there.”

They both looked out at Candice who was looking at her nails and not at the monitor.

“Simon, I know she can do the job. She has some good ideas on how to find information if pushed, but she’s easily distracted and when she does fill out a report it’s too brief and hard to understand. Sometimes it doesn’t make sense and I usually have to do the reports over.”

Simon looked and nodded. “I’ll see what I can do,” Simon said rubbing his hands over his face. Candice’s father had promised Simon if she couldn’t cut it, Simon should let him know but Simon hated to call the Captain of Vice and inform him that his daughter just didn’t have what it took for the job.

“Why don’t you take a few days off and I’ll have Megan take her on.”

Blair sighed. “That would be great. Thanks.” Blair fidgeted with his jacket cuff.

“Anything else on your mind, Sandburg?”

Blair stood up and started pacing. “Yes, I was wondering if you’ve heard anything from Jim lately.”

“He called me last night and we’re meeting for dinner tomorrow. You want to join us?”

“No, I can’t.”

“Whatever happened is eating at both of you. Talk to me, Blair.”

“Sorry. Can’t it’s Jim’s to tell. I’ll go tell Candice that I’m going home.”

“No, let me do that. Tell her and Megan to come in here.”

When Blair didn’t get up, Simon waited, knowing there was something else the young man wanted, and he had a good idea what that was.

Without looking up Blair finally spoke. “Simon, how is he really?”

“He’s fine considering he misses you. I’ll tell him you asked.” Simon gently answered.

“He needs a friend right now. Get him to talk to you. He’s going to need a lot of support.”

Simon moved to sit beside Blair. “Listen to me. I think you need to fix this between the two of you and do it now.”

Blair jumped up, pain showing in his eyes, as he said, “Simon I can’t…he needs ….” Blair strode out of the office, grabbing his jacket and forgetting to tell Megan and Candice to go see Simon.

Simon slowly stood up and called them in himself.

*

Candice arrived at the deli before Mike and found a table.

“Hi sis, want your usual?” he asked, walking up to the table and taking off his jacket then hanging it up on the back of a chair.

“Sure,” she answered, watching him leave. She hoped he wouldn’t be negative about what she wanted. He could be hard on her sometimes. Her mind wandered to Blair and his gorgeous smile-- when he chose to show it-- he seemed so sad most of the time. She had tried many times to get close to him but had failed so far. It had to be because of that fraternization rule the PD had about partners dating. Blair was a good detective and as such would abide by that rule.

Mike put the tray on the table and she started unloading it so he could put it back. Before he could sit down, she started. “I need some advice.”

“Let’s hear it and I’ll see what I can do to help.”

“I know that there’s supposed to be no dating between partners but there has to be a way around it.”

Mike choked on his sandwich. Eyes watering, he grabbed his juice and tried to get rid of the food that had gone down before he chewed. His eyes watering from choking, he finally got a deep breath in. “What?” he croaked.

“I want to ask Blair out. I don’t think he will because we’re partners. When I joined, I didn’t know that I couldn’t date my partner.”

“Candice, you went through the academy. How did you miss that?”

“I was trying to get through the assignments with decent marks and wasn’t always paying attention to the small details.”

“That’s not a small detail, Candice. It’s pretty important and they explain why you shouldn’t date your partner.”

“You aren’t going to help me, are you?” Candice pouted.

“It’s not about helping you. It’s about the fact that Blair is good at what he does and if you insist on this, you could get him into trouble. Is that what you want?”

“No, I guess not but, Mike, he’s so perfect. I guess I would have had a better chance not being his partner. Why didn’t anyone tell me that?”

“Candice, dad and I can’t keep up with your schemes.” Mike took a deep breath. “What if Blair is involved with someone already?”

“He isn’t. I would know.”

“How would you know?” Mike asked, looking into his sister’s eyes.

“What do you mean?” she asked.

“Candice, Blair would not have been assigned a rookie if anyone thought he would compromise you in any way. He can’t get involved with you if he has to instruct you.”

“I want out of the PD. Can you help me do that?”

“Sure, sis, I can do that but have you thought of how dad will feel? He is proud of you. Why don’t you think about it and while you’re at it, think about transferring to another department.”

Her eyes lit up. Mike knew that look and knew what was coming next. Shit. How could he tell her he was involved with Blair, especially since his family did not know he was gay?

“Thanks. Then I can ask Blair out and he has no reason to say no.”

Mike smiled weakly at her. ‘Sorry Blair,’ he thought to himself. He would have to talk to Blair today. Maybe he could take him out for dinner.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Stopping on the way home, Blair picked up some groceries. No one would tell him anything about Jim and how he was doing, but then he hadn’t asked directly until today and that hadn’t gone well. It had been a month since he had seen Jim.

The loft wasn’t the same without Jim in it; he missed him.

Having missed lunch, Blair pulled out a pot for the pasta, filling it with water and placing it on the stove. While waiting for the water to boil, he put away the rest of the groceries.

‘Wonder what Jim is doing right now. How could Jim do something so important and not talk to him? How could a man bear a child when the equipment wasn’t there?’ He would have to read up on it. He wondered why he hadn’t. Blair laughed out loud. “I thought Jim was good at repression, I can’t believe I haven’t read up on it yet.”

The water boiled and he added the pasta. Pulling some pasta sauce out of the freezer and taking off the lid he placed it in the microwave, set the temperature level and hit start.

He should ask Jim how he had found out about the procedure.

Going over to the fridge, he retrieved a beer and headed towards his computer when someone knocked on the door. Putting his beer down, Blair opened the door and found himself with a mouth full of tongue. He laughed, knowing who it was and moved over so he could close the door. Once the door was closed, he wrapped his arms around the large body and groaned into the mouth covering his.

The timer on the oven dinged. Blair brought the kiss to an end and softly said, “Hello.”

“Hi,” came the breathless answer. “I thought I would come and take you out for dinner.”

“You’re a little early.” Blair answered, his face buried in the man’s chest.

“I thought we could first work up an appetite and then go out to dinner but, if yours is ready, there’ll be a change in plans. Lets eat, and then after we work it off we’ll go out to dinner later.”

“I’d like that.” Blair pulled himself away from the big chest he was leaning on and headed towards the kitchen. Mike followed and when Blair reached for two plates, he grabbed his hand and kissed it, shaking his head slightly. “One plate and one fork is all we need.”

Mike got the fork while Blair removed the dinner from the stove, strained the pasta, took the one plate and dumped the pasta in the center and poured the sauce over. As he turned to head to the table, he bumped into Mike who was standing behind him. Mike wound some pasta onto the tines of the fork and blew on it. Holding Blair’s gaze, he blew on the hot pasta again before he put it between Blair’s lips. Blair slowly took it off the fork while looking into his new lover’s eyes. They took turns feeding each other this way until it was gone.

Mike threw the fork into the sink, took the plate from Blair and put it in the sink as well, pulling Blair closer with one hand and undoing his pants with the other. Blair had both hands busy undoing Mike’s belt. Placing his hand in Blair’s curls; Mike bent down and kissed him, and the tongue battle began while the clothes were removed and dropped as they shuffled off to the sofa.

As they hit the sofa clothed in only their briefs, Blair’s hands slid slowly down Mike’s back and into his briefs, kneading the tight mounds. Mike’s hands were on their way down to the same destination on Blair’s body when a loud gasp startled them. Heads together, they turned to see Naomi standing in the doorway, mouth open.

“Blair Sandburg what’s going on here?” she asked, closing the door as her eyes followed the trail of clothes into the kitchen. “I can see what’s going on here. What I want to know is why are you cheating on Jim?”

Blair cleared his throat as he let go of Mike and moved to pick up their pants and handed Mike’s to him. “Mom, meet Mike. Mike, my mother, Naomi.”

Mike put one leg in his pants as he replied, “Nice to meet you.”

Crossing her arms across her chest, she puckered her face in displeasure.

Seeing the look, Mike hurried to pick up his clothes and headed out the door with them in his hands.

Blair was pulling his shirt over his head, pants hanging open. “Naomi what are you doing here?”

“I came to visit my son and it’s a good thing I did. Where is Jim?”

Seeing the beer from earlier, Blair picked it up and took a long pull on the now warm liquid, to give himself time to think about what he would say to his mother. “Jim isn’t here.”

“That’s obvious, since you’re cheating on Jim.”

“No!” Blair all but shouted, “We aren’t together anymore.” Mike allowed him to forget Jim while he was with him and for now that was all he wanted.

“This…this Mike is what?”

Blair took a big breath and blew it out through pursed lips. “Naomi, don’t do this. I can see that look in your eyes. This is none of your business.” He didn’t want her to interfere.

“I am your mother and that makes it my business. The last I knew, you and Jim exchanged rings with all your friends present and now it’s over?”

“Mother, I learned from the best about leaving them,” Blair said defiantly, not liking the fact that his mother was bringing up the one thing he did not want to discuss with her. He had definitely not detached with love.

“Blair Sandburg, I am disappointed in you.” Naomi was getting mad and wasn’t going to let it go. “What happened between you two? Maybe I should go ask Jim.”

“Go right ahead.” If he knew Jim, which he did very well, he wouldn’t tell her anything.

Naomi tried a different tactic. “Blair, sweetie, you are so tense. Why don’t we meditate for a while and then we’ll talk.”

“No, I do not want to meditate right now. Jim and I are having problems and that’s all I’m going to tell you.”

Blair went to the fridge and got another beer. “Mom, you want anything?”

“No, I want you to come here and sit down and tell me what has happened.”

Blair took his beer and started pacing, his beer sloshing over at each turn. Naomi got up off the sofa. Taking the beer away from him and putting it on the coffee table, she looked up at her son. “Blair, sit!”

Blair sat, looked at his mother and sighed, reaching for the beer again. Taking a big swig, he looked at her. “Jim doesn’t live here anymore. He gave me the loft and moved out.”

“Why would he do that? I know you two love each other more than any two people I have ever known. Tell me the rest of it.”

She sat down next to him and held his hand, while he told her, “We had a fight and he left. Naomi, I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Where is Jim now?”

“I don’t know. I assume he is working for his father.”

“You’re still at the police station.”

“Yes, I’m still a detective in Major Crimes. If it helps any, I’m thinking of going back to teaching, high school maybe.”

“When did this happen?”

“I’ve been considering it for a few weeks now.”

“You know I was asking about Jim.”

“About a month.”

“You haven’t spoken to or seen Jim for a *month*?”

“Naomi, I’m the one who doesn’t want to talk to him. Leave it alone. Jim and I will work it out on our own.”

“Humhh.” Was Naomi’s answer and Blair knew she was going to interfere.

He stood up and headed upstairs with his beer. “I’m going to bed. You do whatever you want.”

Part 5

After supper, Jim went over to his house and walked through the rooms. The decorator was almost finished. He went to the room next to the master bedroom, which he wanted to make into a nursery himself. He had gone out and bought a rocker which he sat in and talked to his son or daughter while he gently rocked.

After an hour, he walked back to his father’s house. Without saying anything to his brother or his father, who were both in the den discussing business as usual, Jim went to bed. He tired out much easier now then he used to, because of the pregnancy. The fact that it could be because he was depressed never entered his mind.

At the office, the next morning, Jim was on the phone when the door burst open and Naomi barged in, the receptionist hurrying after her. “I’m sorry. She just went past me.”

“Its okay, Judith.” He got up and hurried around his desk to give Naomi a hug. “Naomi, what are you doing here?” Jim closed the door and went to sit on the edge of his desk.

“I was in town and I had to come see my son-in-law. Since you weren’t at the loft, I came here. How are you? You look awful.”

“I’m fine.”

“You don’t look fine.”

“Naomi, I am as fine as I can be under the circumstances, and I will tell you it’s all up to your son. I will take him back any time he wants.”

“There are not too many men who would take a lover back after he cheated on him but then you and Blair always were special weren’t you?” Naomi chattered looking out the window and missed the devastated look on Jim’s face.

Jim’s heart thudded and his belly cramped, he held onto his stomach and prayed his baby would not give up now. If the pain in his heart hurt before that was nothing to what he felt with what Naomi had just said.

What was he going to say to this woman-- she wouldn’t give up easy and he knew it.

“Will you have lunch with me?” Naomi said as she turned away from the window and looked at Jim.

Jim shook his head. He had forgotten her mind worked differently from anyone he had ever known. “Naomi, if you are thinking of inviting us both to lunch so that when we see each other again, we’ll fall into each other’s arms, it’s not going to work. Don’t even try it. You will have your son to deal with and, believe me, he won’t be as easy as he has been in the past. I wish I could tell you because I think you would support me. If anyone could talk to him you could, but if he won’t talk about it, I won’t.”

“I’m going to lunch with my son. We’ll be at the Pita Pit, sitting outside. Come join us.”

“Not unless Blair invites me. Tell him I miss him,” Jim answered sadly.

“Walk me to my car, sweetie,” she asked, putting out her hand which Jim took, and he walked her to Blair’s car. It was the hardest thing he had ever had to do, when all he wanted to do was be alone. He closed the door after she was seated. Their eyes met. “Jim, please call Blair.”

“It’s up to him to call me.” He watched her drive off, watching until the car was long gone even to sentinel eyes.

William Ellison was on his way in when he saw Jim and Naomi walking towards the exit, and for the first time he noticed how miserable Jim looked. He had so much wanted Jim to be over Blair. Seeing Jim like this made even a father like William think twice.

He walked towards his son and stood next to him. Jim looked at his father then back to where the car had disappeared.

“What did she want?”

“To see her son-in-law.”

“You miss Blair?”

Not knowing what road his emotions would take, Jim looked down when he answered. “Yes, dad, very much.”

Father and son stood side by side. “Jim, let’s go for lunch at the club. Maybe play a round of golf.”

“I’ll have lunch but I won’t play golf today.” He couldn’t tell his father that he couldn’t play because he was pregnant and that such a move could dislodge the placenta.

“Okay, I’ll call Judith and tell her; you call for the limo.”

The last thing Jim wanted to do was have lunch with his father but saw it for what it was and could not deny his father was trying. His child would more than ever need the support of family if Blair was already seeing someone else. What was going to happen next? Things could not get worse.

*

Blair and Naomi had agreed to meet at the Pita Pit and Blair was waiting for her. From his seat at the window, he watched her pull into the parking lot. One look at her face and he hurried outside.

Having spotted Blair coming out of the building, Naomi screeched to a stop at an angle across two parking spots. Blair opened the door and she shot out, slamming the door. He had never seen her so furious. He backed up when he heard her muttering to herself, “I’m going to have to burn a lot of sage,” as she paced one way, “How could a child of my womb be this…this…aaargh!” and then came back, stopping in front of Blair. She grabbed his ear.

“Ow.” He said, bringing his hand up to clutch hers. That really hurt.

Naomi suddenly let go of his ear. Tears welling up in her eyes, she covered her face with her hands. “I am so sorry, sweetie.”

Blair was rubbing his ear. “Mom?” he asked gently.

Naomi threw her arms around her son. “I’m so sorry.”

“What happened with Jim?” Blair asked, reflecting on how it would have felt if he had his earrings in.

Naomi was trying to calm down by taking deep breaths and letting them out slowly. “Just a minute, Blair, I need a few cleansing breaths.”

“Okay,” Blair replied, watching a sedan coming towards them and stop close to the crookedly parked Volvo. He watched Candice get out of the driver’s side and close the door, her eyes on him.

Megan climbed out of the passenger side and closed the door deliberately. She hadn’t been able to talk Candice out of pulling in when she had seen Naomi pulling Blair’s ear.

“Hi, Blair,” Candice said. “What’s going on?” Candice walked over to Blair and put her hand on his arm.

“Naomi,” Megan said, coming around the back of the car. “Blair.”

Blair nodded his head at Megan, slowly taking his eyes off Naomi. She’d never hurt him physically in any way growing up, not even when he deserved it. He was wondering what had gotten into her.

“Hi, Megan, how are you?” Naomi said sweetly, pushing Candice’s hand off Blair’s arm. She glanced at Megan but her eyes swung back to Candice. “Blair, don’t tell me you are cheating on Jim with her, as well as Mike?”

“Naomi, don’t…” Blair started but Candice interrupted.

“Jim? Cheating? What is she talking about and who are you? Blair, who is this?” Candice asked.

Naomi’s eyes aimed daggers at Candice.

“Candice, meet my mother.” Blair introduced Candice to his mother with a big sigh as he looked at Megan for help.

“Candice, Blair and his mother are busy. Let’s go have our lunch before we run out of time.”

Candice hadn’t taken her eyes off of Blair, and she totally ignored Megan. “What is she talking about, cheating on Jim? Jim who?” she asked as the truth slid into reality and anger took over.

Megan threw up her hands in defeat and stepped back.

“Candice, you have got to stop this. I am not interested in going out with you. For many reasons-- one, you are my partner; two, I am involved with someone.”

“Let’s get back to work, Candice.” Megan pulled on Candice’s arm and shoved her towards the passenger side of the car, but Candice had other ideas.

“Blair, that’s revolting, you can’t be gay.” The disgust showed in her face now that the truth was in front of her. Then a look of confusion and anger took over as she went at Blair in a blast of fury. Her fist made solid contact with his face as she recalled the other name Naomi had said earlier. “You defiled my brother! How could you?”

Blair stumbled backwards as the punch connected with his eye. That would leave a mark, he thought as his hand went over his throbbing eye.

“Candice, get in the car, now.” Megan said, standing in front of Candice glaring at her until she stomped around the car and got in.

Naomi scowled at the young girl as she got into the car.

When the car was gone, Naomi turned towards her son with a look that clearly said, ‘We are going to talk.’

He stood defiantly in front of his mother, feeling like a naughty little boy. “Mom, what did Jim say?” he finally asked.

She leaned back on her crookedly parked car, her arms crossed. “He said that he wished he could tell me the details because I would be on his side.”

Blair took a deep breath and let it out, also leaning on the car beside his mother. “Mom, I won’t tell you what he did and what is the matter with you?”

“What are you saying?”

“I am saying that I will not tell you what happened between the two of us and why are you interfering in my life?”

“Are we talking about Jim buying a house around the corner from his father?”

Blair’s chin dropped. “He did what?”

“I assume you mean the news about Jim buying a house around the corner from his father. Blair, honey, Jim says he still loves you. In fact, he told me to tell you he misses you.”

Blair looked at his crossed feet because his eyes threatened to tear up if he looked at his mother. How could he tell his mother he still loved the man, and also explain why he was angry at him for getting pregnant without his input?

“I guess I’ll go pack my things and leave. I can’t stay with my son, who I raised to be true to himself, and who is betraying everything I taught him. Denying your love for Jim is just that. Let him apologize. You know he needs you to accept his apology. You owe him that much.”

She moved to stand in front of her son. Placing her hand gently under his chin, she brought it up until she could see his face. Taking a deep breath, she spoke softly, “Blair, look at me, son. I think you’re afraid that if you see Jim, you will fall into his arms and take him back, and it frightens you that he actually loves you so much he will take you back, even after he knows you cheated on him.”

Now Blair’s eyes did fill up with tears and silently spilt over. She pulled him into her arms and kissed his cheek. “Now, go see Jim and talk to him. I know this is tearing you apart.”

“He doesn’t know about Mike.”

“Yes, he does.”

”You told him?”

“It never occurred to me he didn’t know. You said you weren’t cheating, so I mentioned it and Jim didn’t bat an eye so I assumed he knew.”

Blair’s jaw dropped, Jim knew. That could not be good. His thoughts were interrupted by Naomi.

“Get in. I’ll drive us to the loft and then I’m leaving.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Megan looked over at the girl sitting next to her, and shook her head. Her head was spinning from what she had just heard and she would definitely be going to see Blair after work. Right now she had to deal with Candice. “What is the matter with you? That was not a professional way to behave!” Megan looked at the girl and realized that, yes that is all she was just a girl. “Candice, how did you get this job?” Megan blatantly asked.

“I saw Blair in Major Crimes and told my father I knew what I wanted to do as a career. I wanted to be a detective with Major Crimes and I knew my father would make it happen.”

Megan couldn’t believe what she was hearing. “Who is your father?”

“Captain Tony Templar. He’s Captain of Vice.” Candice said flatly, looking out the window.

Megan headed back to the station. This girl was no detective. The case they had been given might not be much, but Megan was not going to have a partner whom she couldn’t trust to back her up.

*

The next evening, Jim met Simon at the steak restaurant they had agreed on. When Jim arrived, Simon was already sitting at a table. Jim sat down across from his friend.

”Hi, Jim. So, how are you?”

“I’ve been better. How is the rookie?” Jim asked, changing the subject.

“She’s not with Major Crimes any more. Megan was partnered with her yesterday and Candice was driving and without warning she --according to Megan—‘was a dipstick’ and just about had an accident going into the Pita Pit because Naomi was holding Blair by his ear and anyone could see she was mad. According to Megan, Candice behaved like a teenager with a crush. She brought her back to the station. Her father is Captain of Vice and she got the job because she wanted to be close to Sandburg.”

Neither of them spoke as the server came to take their order.

“He did ask if I had heard from you. I told him we were having dinner tonight and he should join us.”

“I assume he turned you down.”

Simon nodded as the drinks were brought-- Simon’s beer and Jim’s ginger ale.

Simon looked at the dark circles around his best friend’s eyes and the drawn look that accompanied them. “I think it’s time you told me what happened between you two.”

“Sorry, Simon, but not yet.”

“Oh, come on now. This is getting ridiculous. You know that whatever this was has everyone thinking crazy things.”

“You mean gossiping.”

“What do you expect? Blair comes into your life and everyone is wondering why you let him stay. He’s so different from anyone you know and then you become lovers. Trust me, they noticed the change even if they have no idea the reason. That makes them wonder what could have happened to make you resign and Blair stay. Bring into that the fact that you two have been through so much, some of which would have broken others, yet made you two closer. Don’t think most of the PD hasn’t noticed.”

Jim leaned back in his seat and looked at his good friend. “They’re going to have to keep gossiping then. You’re a good friend Simon and I would like to tell you but it is very hard at this point even after all this time. Blair and I have to work it out first.”

After that, they changed topics and discussed only business and everyone at Major Crimes. After a few hours they parted company, agreeing that they would meet again in a month.

The next day

Stephen had seen Jim when he got back to the office after lunch and made a call to his wife Melanie, who agreed they should invite Jim to their home that night for dinner.

Jim dreaded dinner at Stephen’s, but at the same time he wanted to go. He was afraid his stomach would embarrass him. Since he had no reason to decline without Stephen asking questions, he went.

The door was opened by Steven. “I’m glad you made it Jim.”

“It’s a nice evening for a walk. You know for a family who didn’t get along when we were younger we sure live close to each other now.”

“We did it for the kids. As busy as we are, this is the only way they see the only grandfather they have.”

“Something smells good…” Jim started to say when his stomach roiled and he ran out of the room heading for the washroom. Stephen followed him and heard him throwing up and stood there waiting until Jim opened the door.

“Okay, Jim. Have you gone to the doctor about this? You’ve looked awful for weeks now and I know that a few times at work you’ve thrown up after lunch. If this is stress, than maybe you need a vacation and if it’s whatever is going on between you and Blair, then you had better call him or I will.”

“Yes, I’ve been to the doctor and I’m fine. The doctor tells me this will stop soon. So there’s no need to call Blair.”

“Have you talked to him at all recently?”

“No, and I don’t intend to.”

“Jim, I might not understand what you see in Blair, but whatever has happened, if you two don’t talk you can’t make it right.”

“Thanks for your concern, Stephen, but Blair and I have to work this one out ourselves.” Having said that, Jim walked out of the house towards his place. Stephen debated whether to follow for a few minutes, then he decided to talk to Jim and walked into the house that would be his brother’s home soon. He was surprised at the opulence of the place. He found Jim in a room upstairs sitting in a rocking chair rocking slowly, head back, eyes closed, fingers spread on his stomach.

“Jim?”

Jim jumped out of the rocker. “Damn, you scared me.”

“Jim, you’re a sentinel-- I thought you knew I was there. Now I know something is wrong and you better talk, big brother.”

“I can’t and that’s final.” Jim led the way out of the room and closed the door. Stephen beside him, they walked in silence back to Stephen’s home

Part 6

William Ellison threw a big dinner party to let everyone know both his sons were now in his life. His hidden agenda was to introduce Jim to everyone who was important to his business or who would help in some form if he needed them.

He had chosen a beautiful night for the party. He had the gardens strung with lights, a live band in the garden and plenty of extra flowering plants.

Jim went out to the garden before the guests arrived, looking for a quiet place to think. What he found was his father talking to the caterer. Before he could discreetly walk, away his father spotted him.

“Jimmy, you look good. You’re going to try and have a good time tonight. Right?” His father didn’t wait for an answer as he headed into the house. Just before he entered the house, he turned back to his son. “How’s the new home?”

“Great. The housekeeper you hired is good.” Jim was glad to be out of his father’s house and into his own even if it wasn’t far. Having found out it was important to Blair for his child to have family around, he was going to try and mend his relationship with his father, but William didn’t make it easy.

“Good.” William nodded and stepped over the threshold.

As the evening progressed, Jim found himself getting tired and wishing it was over. He didn’t want to talk to one more woman who had found out he was available, courtesy of his father. Every so often he met his father’s eyes and saw the gleam in them. William Ellison was happy to see his son talking to women all evening. Having decided he had done his part and was thinking about going home, he saw his father heading towards him with a tall, gorgeous redhead. Jim quietly groaned as he put a smile on his face.

“Jim, I want you to meet Heather. Heather, this is my son, Jim.” Then William walked off as if his job was done. Jim found Heather easy to be with and ended up spending the rest of the evening with her. They danced and walked in the garden and when she hinted for a ride home he tried to refuse but he couldn’t. Having spent so much time with her, it would seem impolite not to take her home.

*

After dropping Heather off, Jim drove past the loft. Seeing Blair’s car home and the lights on in his windows, Jim slowly pushed out his hearing until he heard Blair’s heartbeat. He was just starting to relax into the sound when he heard the second heartbeat. He pulled up against the curb and listened more closely.

Heart breaking, he leaned back and couldn’t make himself move. He heard the heavy breathing, the soft sound of two bodies sliding together, and someone said. “Yes, oh yes, just like that.” Jim knew that what Naomi had said was true.

*

Jim slowly drove away from the curb and headed home. He turned all his senses down to normal. He wouldn’t be using them anymore without his guide; they would remind him too much of Blair. As it was, he would never forget him, but he just couldn’t handle being a sentinel without him.

*

Inside the loft, Blair sagged onto the man beneath him on the couch, “Mike, thanks for coming over. I needed that.”

“Glad you called.” Mike slowly brought Blair’s head down; looking into those perfect blue eyes, Mike kissed his lips gently.

Blair snuggled against Mike and closed his eyes. “I can’t believe Candice is your sister. How did she ever make it into Major Crimes? Because she is the worst detective ever.”

Mike laughed. “Ever since our mother left, my father gives her anything she wants and she wanted you.”

Blair sat up so he could look at Mike. “You’re not saying your father pulled strings to get her the position?”

“Yep, that’s right. Now let’s try that again.” Mike said, as he lazily caressed Blair’s ass.

“He might have gotten her the job but he couldn’t get her partnered with me.” Blair wasn’t going to be distracted.

“No, but she tells me you and your partner had a falling out.” Mike tugged on Blair’s hair to angle his head so he could nuzzle that sweet neck.

“Yes, we did.” Blair said absentmindedly, not allowing himself to be drawn towards Mike.

Mike dropped his head back. “You all right?” Mike asked, noticing the look on Blair’s face.

“I’m sorry, Mike,” Blair apologized as he leaned forward and softly kissed Mike. “But could you leave?” Blair sat up and away to allow Mike to get up.

Without saying a word, Mike got up off the couch and started picking up his clothes and putting them on while watching Blair. Once he had all his clothes on, he sat down beside Blair.

“I am sorry about doing this to you, but I seriously need to think and you distract me,” Blair said, looking into his new lover’s eyes.

“One of these days, you are going to have to tell me what has you so twisted inside-- and don’t bother to deny it-- I can see it.”

“Sorry, no can do.”

“How about we go out for lunch tomorrow and see what we can come up with after?”

Blair cocked his head and looked at those big brown eyes and he found himself saying yes. He liked the distraction Mike gave him; they had a good time together.

“All right,” Mike said, kissing Blair on the head. “See you tomorrow. I’ll come pick you up.” With that, he walked out of the door.

Blair watched the door close and looked down at his naked body, the cum drying on his chest, and threw his head back. “Oh Jim, what am I doing?” One tear slowly slid down his left cheek as he got up to shower and went to bed.

Not that he would sleep. He knew that with the decision he had made tonight. He had officially made the break when he agreed to go out with Mike. He wouldn’t admit he just needed a good fucking.

It worried him a little that Naomi had told Jim about Mike. Blair wasn’t really sure what Naomi had said to him but it bothered him that Jim had handled it as well as Naomi had said.

Blair slept restlessly and had to untangle himself from a knotted-up mess of sheets in the morning. He knew that Jim was an early riser and would be up, so he would go see him now. Growling at how tired he was, he rolled out of bed and headed for the shower. After he was dressed and standing in the kitchen in front of the coffee machine, he turned and walked towards the door. He would get coffee on the way, and he would bring Jim one as well.

Blair looked for the slip of paper Simon had given him, with Jim’s new address and phone number. Blair hadn’t wanted to take it but Simon had insisted and Blair had put it in his wallet, forgetting about it until this morning.

Blair slowly drove down the street, looking at all the estate homes. “What is Jim doing here?” he said to himself. He looked at his note and the house number on the home he had stopped in front of. He whistled, looking at the house with the circular drive and the perfect yard.

Getting out of the car, he walked up to the front door and rang the doorbell. When no one came to the door, he rang it again, long and hard. When there was still no response, he walked around the house taking in the carefully designed flower beds, the tasteful statues thoroughout and the pool that didn’t even look like a pool but more like a jungle with a lagoon. Jim sure had given in to his father. Blair walked back to the front door and rang the doorbell again. When no one answered, he left.

*

At one p.m., Steven rang Jim’s doorbell, and when there was no response, he rang again not taking his finger off the doorbell until he heard fumbling at the door. It opened a crack and Jim’s disheveled head peered through the gap. When he saw it was Steven, he opened the door all the way.

“Come on in, Steven. I was still in bed.”

“You didn’t take Heather home, did you?”

“Yes, I did but I didn’t stay. Want some coffee?”

“Sure, I could use some.”

They headed into the kitchen and Jim made coffee, which they took outside and sat beside the pool.

“Steven, could you help me convince Dad that I need some time off?”

“Sure, I think we can give you two weeks?”

“I was thinking more like a year.”

Steven choked on his coffee. Grabbing a napkin, he wiped his chin and dabbed at his shirt. Then he looked up at his brother who hadn’t moved at all. “You’re serious.”

“Never more so. I would like to leave the country.”

“Where would you go?” Steven asked.

“I was thinking Europe, maybe London.”

“The CEO in the London office is leaving in a month. Why not take over the London office?”

“Let me think about it. Maybe I’ll take a trip out to check it out and if I don’t want it, I can hire someone else to fill the position.”

“That sounds like an idea that even Dad will go for. You do know that leaving won’t settle whatever is wrong between you and Blair?”

“I know, but I also can’t stay and watch Blair going out with someone else.”

“How do you know he’s going out with someone else?” Steven asked, sitting up straighter.

“Doesn’t matter how I found out.”

“Jim, listen to me. I know you don’t want to talk to me but I hate to let you go away like this. You haven’t seen Blair for over a month and I think you should talk to him before you leave.”

“Steven....” Jim was thinking of telling his brother the truth but when he looked up into his brother’s eyes, he couldn’t do it. “Forget it, okay?”

“Jim, please talk to someone.”

Jim saw the concern in Steven’s eyes. “I will.” He knew he would have to talk to someone soon.

Steven watched Jim’s expression change to such sadness, it made Steven want to take his brother in his arms and hug him. They never had been a touchy family and as much as they got along now, that was something he wasn’t sure how Jim would take.

“I think I should go and get this into the works for you. Are you going to tell Dad or should I?”

“I’ll do it.”

“I’ll let you know when I have it all done, including getting you the company plane as well.”

Jim nodded and Steven walked around the outside of the house.

Jim’s mind wandered to Blair and his hands fell onto his abdomen and the slight bulge only a sentinel could feel. He had a doctor’s appointment tomorrow.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Blair was sitting on the balcony when someone knocked on the door. Going to open it, he was surprised to see Steven.

“Has something happened to Jim?” Blair asked, concern in his voice.

“Sounds like you still care about Jim. Then why in hell don’t you show him? He looks awful and if you two don’t talk soon, I am afraid of what it will do to him. Please go see him, Blair,” Steven begged.

“That really is none of your business and I was at his house this morning and he didn’t answer the door. I think that tells me what I need to know.”

“It doesn’t mean jack shit,” Steven’s voice rose in frustration. “I went to see him too and he was in bed and didn’t hear the doorbell and that was at one in the afternoon. Since when does Jim Ellison stay in bed past eight, which is sleeping in for him? This isn’t like him and it scares me.”

“I’ll think about it, Steven, and thanks for coming over,” Blair said as politely as he could under circumstances. It was good to see Jim’s brother show concern. It made it a little easier if he knew someone was looking after Jim. “Thanks for looking out for Jim. But what’s between Jim and me is only our business.” At those words, Blair moved towards the door and opened it.

Steven was heading towards the door when a movement caught the corner of his eye. He turned his head and watched the man come out of the bathroom, their eyes meeting. Steven knew this was the man Blair was now seeing and he gave Blair a look that said more than words.

Blair defiantly met Steven’s gaze.

Just as Steven stepped through the door, he turned around, “I can’t believe you would already have someone else in your life. I always thought you and Jim had something special but, after seeing this, I will do all I can to keep you from him.” Having spoken his piece, Steven quickly walked down the hall.

Mike quietly came to stand in front of Blair after he had closed the door. “I suppose that’s what’s been bothering you.”

“Mike, I’m sorry.”

“So all that passion when we made love… but it’s not love, is it, Blair? It’s sex with you. A release for you. That’s why you’re so wild in bed. It’s just anger and, as much as I like you, I don’t like to be used.”

Blair didn’t know what to say.

Mike shook his head. “You can’t even deny it. That hurts, Blair. I fell hard and fast for you.”

“Mike, I didn’t want to hurt you but I thought you were in it for the same reason I was.”

“What reason is that?”

“A good time and mind-blowing sex.”

“When did I ever let you believe that?”

“Please forgive me. I had no idea you felt that way.”

Mike stood, hands in his front pockets, looking at the floor. He wasn’t sure what to do. He really did like Blair and had known all along something was bothering him. “Yes, of course, I’ll forgive you.”

Blair smiled. “Thanks, man, I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“I know, I’ll get over it. I don’t suppose you want to fool around now,” Mike said, with a leer on his face.

Blair laughed, “You are impossible. Hey yeah sure, as long as you know that’s all it is.”

“Sure, we’re good together, and I think I can take your mind off the mighty Ellison.” Mike walked into Blair’s personal space and bent down to kiss him. Blair moved up close to meet Mike’s lips. The kiss took seconds to change to desperate tongue-sucking action as their hands bumped trying to get rid of their clothes.

Mike felt confident. He knew if anyone could make Blair forget Ellison, it would be him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jim answered the door and was speechless when he saw Blair standing in front of him. Feelings warred inside him and he didn’t like the look on Blair’s face. Jim held the door open so Blair could come in.

Blair looked around at the grand home Jim lived in and didn’t know what to say. “Jim, I never thought you could feel comfortable in a place like this.”

“I didn’t do it for me. I did it for our child. This makes my father happy and you wanted any child you had to have a normal home and I’m doing my best to make that happen.”

As Jim spoke, Blair noticed the dark bags under his eyes, and the pallor on his face. Blair continued to look Jim over, his eyes lingering on his abdomen.

“Come on in.”

“No, if it’s alright, I’ll say what I have to say and then leave.”

“I guess this means you haven’t forgiven me.”

“Jim, please don’t start. I wanted to let you know I have someone else in my life.”

Jim looked away.

“Jim, I’m sorry, but I needed someone and he was there.”

“Why would you need someone else?”

“Yes, well, you broke our trust and my heart.”

“Blair, this makes no sense. I made a mistake and I’ve apologized many times. I asked you what I could do to make it up and you haven’t even given me a chance.”

“It’s not that easy. Having a child on purpose without telling your husband is not a mistake. Bringing home the wrong items from a shopping list is a mistake. This is much more than a mistake. I think I better go now. I didn’t want you to find out from someone else I am dating. I am sorry that you found out from Naomi.”

Blair walked away without looking back.

Jim couldn’t move. He couldn’t believe he had just heard what he had heard. After he had watched Blair’s car disappear, Jim slowly moved and phoned Simon.

“Simon,” Jim said when Simon answered.

“Jim, what happened?” Simon asked, concern evident in his tone.

“I’m ready to talk now, and I don’t want to do it over the phone.”

“Sure, Jim. Be there as soon as I can.”

“When you get here, come around back.” After hearing Simon agree, Jim hung up the phone and headed out to the deck, then went back inside to retrieve a bottle of scotch.

When Simon came around the side of the house he saw Jim sitting sideways with his bare feet up on a chair beside him, idly spinning an empty water bottle. Simon stopped. Why hadn’t Jim heard him yet? Something was definitely wrong. He hurried over towards Jim who looked up only when Simon stood at the table.

“Hi, Simon,” Jim said looking at him, and poured a generous portion of scotch into a glass and put it down in front of Simon. “You’re going to need this.”

“I’m not going to like this, am I?” Simon asked, as he lit a cigar and sat down.

Jim didn’t even tell him to put it out. The man would need all the vices he had once he heard what Jim had to say.

“I need to talk to someone about what happened between Blair and me.” Jim looked at his friend before he continued. “This isn’t easy for me but I admit I need to talk to someone. Blair drank almost a half a bottle of scotch after I told him.”

“I’m not in love with you,” Simon pointed out, sipping his scotch.

“I am going to London in about a week or as soon as Steven gets the arrangements made.”

“Jim, you’re actually scaring me. You were never one to run before,” Simon said.

“Last year, I found a science magazine of Blair’s that had an article on men bearing children.”

Simon’s eyebrows went up.

“I thought Blair would make a great father and I wanted to have Blair’s child. I know it sounds sappy but, Simon, I love that man.”

Simon sipped his scotch and leaned forward. “Jim, what are you saying?”

“I’m pregnant.” Jim watched Simon down the drink.

“I did not want to hear that,” Simon said with disbelief, as he reached for the scotch bottle to refill his drink.

Jim waited for the information to sink in.

“I never thought I would be asking you this, but how far along are you? You’re not showing yet.” His arms went up, as if he was a cop in an intersection stopping the flow of traffic. “Hold everything, where are you carrying this baby? How is this possible?”

“In my abdomen. The doctor implanted the placenta and an embryo. It’s like a woman having an ectopic pregnancy. It is dangerous, but I really wanted to do this, I wanted to give Blair the ultimate gift.”

“This doesn’t make sense!” Simon said, as he stood up and paced a few steps then turned back to face Jim. “Blair knows you are carrying what is essentially his child and he left you?”

Jim nodded, watching Simon sit back down in shock.

Simon looked at Jim and quietly asked, “There have to be dangers?”

“If the placenta breaks loose, I could bleed to death,” Jim answered with trepidation.

“Jim, are you crazy? Did you know that before you decided? No wonder Blair is upset. You could die.” Simon said in alarm.

“Yes, I knew, but I don’t think he does.”

Simon shook his head. “I never thought I would see this day. The way you two love each other, Jim, there has to be more to this. It makes no sense.”

Jim took a deep breath as he looked into his friend’s eyes. “I did it without discussing it with Blair. He feels we don’t have trust in our relationship and he can’t be with someone whom he can’t trust.”

“That still makes no sense. The Blair I know would not abandon any child of his,” Simon said, shaking his head.

“I can’t believe it either,” Jim all but whispered. “Obviously, he is hurting more than even I can understand. I have no intentions of giving up this baby. I can’t deny Blair’s deserting me doesn’t hurt-- it does-- but I have to think of the baby and so I have decided to move to London. The man who came up with the procedure is there and who better to take care of me?”

Simon nodded in agreement.

*

Jim left for London at the end of the next week. Steven had convinced William that it was a good idea to have an Ellison in London.

Jim was afraid the stress he was under due to the circumstances wasn’t good for the baby. He wasn’t sure how he was going to relax since he knew he would be thinking about Blair every day. He had found the love of his life and was finished looking. If he couldn’t have Blair then he didn’t want anyone else. Blair’s baby was all he wanted.

A few weeks later

Blair swept into Major Crimes, light on his feet and almost dancing to his desk. Mike had spent the night last night and they’d had a really good time. Blair had used repression better than Jim ever could have.

A confused expression crossed Simon’s face as he watched Blair’s entrance into the bull pen. “Sandburg.” He found himself shouting when the truth dawned on him. How could Blair do it?

Blair looked up and waved at his Captain, a big smile on his face. Taking off his jacket, he hung it over his chair.

“Sandburg, now!”

Seeing the look of annoyance on his captain’s face, Blair hurried in and closed the door. “Good morning, Simon,” he said with a smile as he bounced down on the sofa in a reclining position.

“Sandburg, sit up! You little shit, how could you do this to Jim?”

Blair shot up into a sitting position. “Do what? I haven’t done anything to Jim.”

“What’s with the happy dance?”

“Happy dance, Simon?”

“Sandburg, I know it wasn’t Jim who put that spring in your step, because he’s left town. So if you are cheating on Jim I am going to be very disappointed.”

Blair sat forward. “Jim left town?” He couldn’t believe that Jim would do that in his condition.

Simon shook his head. “Sandburg, get out of my sight right now.” Simon never would have thought Blair could do such a thing. It actually hurt him, so how would Jim feel if he knew? “Get out of my sight.”

“Simon, where has Jim gone?” Blair asked, standing up and moving towards Simon.

“Sandburg, are you still here?”

Blair looked at the angry expression on Simon’s face and left the office turning back at the doorway for one more chance; seeing Simon’s dark eyes, the hard line of his lips, Blair turned and walked out.

After Blair left, Simon rubbed his hands over his face. He really hated Sandburg at the moment. How could he do that to Jim? Simon groaned softly. Of course that was why Jim had gone. Jim knew about Blair’s new lover. What the hell was wrong with Sandburg?

Blair went to his desk to get his jacket. Before he could leave, Simon bellowed at him again, Blair turned and hurried back, thinking Simon had changed his mind about telling him where Jim had gone.

Rafe had noticed the stormy episode in the office and kept an eye on Sandburg as he had come out of the Captain’s office. Watching Blair turn and head back into the Captains office he turned to his partner.

“H, you suppose it wasn’t Jim that put that ‘just got laid’ look on Blair’s face this morning?”

“What are you talking about? Who else would it be? Blair wouldn’t cheat if he valued the other man’s life.”

“True,” Rafe agreed with the shrug of his shoulders.

After Blair walked through the door, Simon closed the door too gently. It took all Simon’s strength of will not to knock Blair to the ground and stomp on him.

Blair watched the emotions running over Simon’s face. At one point, he was sure Simon was going to hit him. He waited for Simon to talk.

“You better sit. We are going to be a while,” Simon said as he sat down behind his desk, needing the illusion of distance between him and Blair. They both knew if he wanted to, he could jump over the desk as if it wasn’t there.

Blair sat down warily, keeping his eyes on Simon. He knew Simon well enough to know that he was using all he had to hold himself back. Blair knew he would be pulp if he upset Simon at this point. He waited as Simon picked up his mug and took a drink.

“Sandburg, I am going to ask you a question and you better answer to my satisfaction. Understood?”

“Yes, Sir,” Blair replied quietly.

Simon picked up his phone and dialed his eyes never leaving Blair. “Rhonda, something has come up. Transfer all my calls to Joel’s desk. Do not disturb me.” He gently dropped the receiver back into the cradle and got up to close the window blinds, having noticed that everyone was taking an interest in what was going on in his office.

“Why are you cheating on Jim?” Simon started his interrogation as soon as his butt hit the chair, dark eyes on Blair while he waited for the answer.

“I am not cheating on Jim. We broke up.” Blair answered with a little hesitation, not sure where Simon was heading with this and he did not want to piss him off again.

“Hmm, how can you just break up with someone you married in front of all your friends?”

Blair swallowed noticeably. Blair wasn’t sure what was better-- having the stuffing kicked out of him or this farce of a calm Simon. “Simon, I know you won’t like my answer…I know you are Jim’s best friend and want to back him up. That is fine but this is really between him and me.”

Simon nodded his head thoughtfully and lifted his mug for a drink. With determination, he leaned forward as he put his mug down.

Blair held his breath.

“Then explain to me how you can fuck another man while ‘your’ man is pregnant with your child?”

Blair’s head swam and he all but blacked-out at those quiet words that had just left Simon’s lips and struck a harsh blow to Blair’s ears. Blair put his head in his hands and leaned forward, elbows on his knees.

Simon watched with a slight smile on his face. He was actually enjoying his little revenge. He left Blair to his thoughts as he slowly sipped his coffee. Minutes passed he wondered if he should say something but decided he had all day.

Blair lifted his head. “So Jim told you.”

“Yes. I don’t understand how you could do what you did to the man after he gave you the best gift any man could get. Knowing Jim, don’t you think it took a lot for him to have done this and you treated him horribly. I didn’t like it when I first found out about you two, but I saw how happy you both were and I got over it. I got used to my two friends as a couple. Then the marriage ceremony was so moving, anyone could see how you two felt.”

Blair listened, with his head down so he wouldn’t have to look at Simon. He felt terrible as Simon spoke softly. How could he have done that to Jim? Tears started rolling down his face unchecked.

Simon saw the tears fall but he had no intentions of stopping. He’d seen how much pain Jim was in and it was the least he could do.

“Anyone would think having a child would complete the picture. What happened, Blair? Why would you treat the man who loves you that much so badly?”

“I don’t know?” Blair whispered. “I was so angry that he would do it without discussing it with me first.”

“I know this is not exactly the same but women have been getting pregnant for centuries without telling their partner. When two people love each other that much. it should make them happy to have a part of each other in a child.”

Blair nodded his head. “I know.” Wiping his tears with his shirt sleeve, he looked up at Simon. “Thanks, Simon. I see your point and I have been the selfish one, not Jim, I thought he did it only for himself. I wanted to be in on the planning of such a big decision. When we got married, we wrote our vows and the one I thought was so important was that we discuss everything before either one of us did anything. Especially this big a decision. Not only is it a big decision, it changes our whole life.”

“Blair, I am sorry but that still doesn’t condone what you did to Jim.”

Blair looked into Jim’s best friend’s eyes. “No, it doesn’t, does it?”

“He also apologized to you and you wouldn’t accept it. That is not the Blair I know.”

“Jim hurt me deeply.”

“Blair, it’s your baby,” Simon said, his eyes shining.

For the first time since Blair had found out about the baby, the reality of the situation hit him between the eyes. He stood up. “Simon, where did Jim go? I need to talk to him.”

“All right, I’ll give you his phone number, but first you are going to tell me the rest of why you are acting the way you are.”

“There is one thing I haven’t mentioned to Jim.” Blair sat back down and looked at Simon to see what his reaction would be when he spoke those words out loud. “I haven’t been totally honest with Jim actually.” He stopped when he saw the anger once more show in Simon’s eyes. Taking a deep breath and letting it out, he continued. “I was looking forward to having kids someday, including the house in the suburbs, and the car pooling, the PTA thing, everything that has anything to do with it. I wanted to give my child all the advantages I missed growing up, like the same house to come home to year after year. When I fell in love with Jim, I new he was my soulmate and I would give all that up to be with him for the rest of my life. Before you say there is always adoption, it wasn’t an option for me because of the gay thing-- two fathers instead of a mother and a father. Not to mention not knowing who my father was. That is not what I saw in my kid’s life because I didn’t what them to have to personally deal with discrimination.”

Simon listened without moving and when he heard that last word he couldn’t keep quiet. “Blair, being a parent, I know how we want to protect our kids from the dreadful things we know are going to happen but that is what makes them strong. As long as you are there for them when it happens. Discrimination is the worst, I know, but maybe by the time your kid is old enough to know what it is, the world will be accepting of gay relationships and he or she will never have to deal with it.”

“There will always be someone who won’t like it and with my kid’s luck, he or she will meet them the first time we go for a walk in the neighborhood.”

“You are forgetting one thing. This kid will have that so few kids have these days. Two loving parents who truly love each other, and that will do more for your child’s life than any mother and father could who don’t love each other as much as you two do.”

“Could I have Jim’s new address? I want to surprise him. And, thanks, Simon, you’re a true friend.” Blair said, an unsure smile pulling at the corners of his mouth.

Simon smiled for the first time and reached into his pocket to get out his wallet with the address. “There is one more thing. Think about the first breath your baby breathes and you are there. It’s the most wonderful experience to see the two of you together in one squirming little body. It will represent your love for each other.”

Blair smiled, his eyes full of emotion and moisture. He could hardly wait to see Jim. He wished Jim wasn’t so far away. He wanted to put all this right so he could feel Jim’s arms around him again.

Blair took the paper from Simon and looked at it. “London? He moved to London, England?” Blair said in shock. “Why would he go there?” Blair’s disappointment couldn’t be hidden; he would have to wait longer than he had thought. What were the possibilities of getting a flight out in a few days?

“The doctor who came up with this procedure is in London and so is Ellison Enterprises.”

“Thanks, Simon,” Blair said, giving the man a bear hug as he looked at the paper and, smiling as he walked out, he picked up his coat and left Major Crimes without saying a word to anyone.

As he got out of the elevator in the garage, he started whistling a happy tune.

Suddenly, someone grabbed his jacket and pulled him behind a pillar into a corner away from the surveillance cameras. He was pushed against a wall, and when all the motion had settled, he found himself between two leather-clad arms and looking into a set of big, brown eyes. He punched both arms of his attacker. “Mike,” Blair said curtly. “I haven’t got time right now.”

Mike leaned in for a kiss. Blair moved his head and the kiss landed on his cheek. Mike let go and stood looking at Blair with a strange expression on his face.

“Aw fuck, Mike, I didn’t want to do this like this.”

Mike’s look turned to rage, his hands clenched into fists and he swiveled on his heels, turning his back to Blair.

Blair was afraid to move--he should have known better than to piss off a buff narcotics officer. Blair didn’t move as he watched Mike’s back for a few minutes. Blair prayed Mike wouldn’t hit him. How did his life get so screwed up?

“Mike, I won’t deny you help me forget Jim for as long as I’m with you, but as soon as I’m alone…he comes back in my mind. I know that was a shitty thing to do and I am sorry. I really do like you, but I realized today that I still love Jim and I have to find him… he’s pregnant and it’s mine,” Blair rambled on, hoping Mike would turn around. Blair’s brain finally caught up with his mouth and he couldn’t believe what he had just said.

Finally, Mike turned around, shaking his head. “How does a guy go about doing that?” Then he started laughing a loud out of control laugh.

Blair stood still and watched as Mike’s laughter finally got under control.

Mike pulled himself together. “That was a good one, you had me going there for a second. I do like your sense of humor. Whoa, yeah, that was good.”

Blair blinked, not sure how to continue considering Mike’s last reaction. “I don’t know what else to say except that’s the truth and I’ve been a complete asshole about it and that Jim deserves better. If he will have me, I’m going to go back to him.”

“You really believe this?” Mike asked, skepticism evident in his words. He shook his head. “What a load of shit, Blair. What kind of fool do you think I am? There is no way a man can have a baby. I don’t know what Ellison is up to but you are a fool if you believe this.”

Blair wasn’t sure what he should say since anything he said at this point would just fuel Mike’s anger. The best thing he could think of to do was stand still.

“I hope you and Ellison will be happy because once I get done with you, there’ll be no future for you in the PD. This is far from over.” Having said that, he stomped off in a rage.

Blair didn’t move until he heard the squeal of tires as Mike left the garage. Then he slowly walked to his car wondering if Mike would actually carry out his threats. He didn’t have time to deal with that now. He needed to get to London.