Title: "All You Need Is a Cape, Ellison.", chapter 7

Author/pseudonym: Alexis Rogers

Email address: arogers@calweb.com

Rating: NC-17 for *bdsm*

Pairings: J/B

Status: Long story in progress

Date: 22 May 1997

Archive: YES

Archive author: Alexis Rogers

Archive email address: arogers@calweb.com

Series/Sequel: Yes

Category: Drama

Other website: http://www.calweb.com/users/a/arogers/fiction.htm

Disclaimers: "The Sentinel", the episode "Survival", Jim Ellison, Blair Sandburg, Simon Banks, Dawson Quinn and the damn pushy panther belong to the great folks at Pet Fly Production, Burbank & Vancouver. Charles Bamia, Michael & Jason Anderson, Cary Roberts, Kenneth Powers, Collin Lamonica, and Eric Lawon belong to the author. This story was produced for the sole purpose of entertaining the author and a few friends; it was not meant to infringe on the rights of any of the legal owners.

Summary: Jim spends time with other members of the retreat and learns more about the slavery concept.

Story Warnings: The following story contains graphic descriptions of consensual sex between two or more men, although not each chapter contains each element listed in this warning. The story also contains elements of consensual *bdsm*, as well as nudity and the discussion of sexual topics with fictional characters under the age of eighteen. (Please note that the age of consent is not the same in all parts of the world.) I generally use the term *bdsm* to cover the concepts that, for me, fall under the label of Sexual Magic (SM). *bdsm* includes, but is not limited to, bondage, domination, sadomasochism, elements of Domination/submission [D/s], anal stimulation including enemas and fisting, sex toys, spanking, discipline, corporal punishment, whipping, and slave training. Muliple sex partners happens in latter chapters.

All You Need Is a Cape, Ellison 7
by Alexis Rogers
27 May 1997

The birds who made their home on the grounds of the Berkeley retreat were unreasonably loud in the predawn darkness, and even though he turned down his sense of hearing, Jim was awake. He shifted on the narrow bed, trying to maintain contact with his lover, but nature was not to be denied. Easing out of bed carefully, Jim headed for the bathroom.

His legs were cramped from sleeping curled around Blair. Jim did some stretching exercises but he really needed to run. After dressing in sweats, Jim tucked the covers securely around Blair, then headed for the door. Purusha was sprawled in front of the door and refused to move. "What, you damn cat?" Jim asked, frustrated.

The cat looked at Blair.

"I'm not running away, only running -- you know, for exercise," Jim explained to his spirit guide.

The cat did not move.

"Oh, I guess you want me to tell him that?"

The cat purred.

Shaking his head in amusement, Jim found paper and pen and wrote Blair a note: "I didn't desert you. I went out to run and I'll be back before breakfast." He placed the paper on the pillow of the bed he had not slept in.

The cat refused to move.

Jim stared at the panther, at his lover and at the note. Puzzled, he picked up the paper and added, "I love you."

Purusha disappeared from the floor and reappeared on the bed. "This would be so much easier if spirit guides would talk." Jim leaned over and kissed Blair on the forehead, then quietly left the room.

After running for about half an hour, Jim found himself at a secluded stone table near the kitchen door of the building where he and Blair were staying. Lloyd was sitting at the table with coffee and the morning paper.

"Good morning, James. If you're through running, why don't you grab some coffee and join me."

"I should check on Blair," Jim replied as he jogged in place.

"I just did. He's still asleep."

After pouring himself a cup of coffee, Jim sat at the table with Lloyd.

"I saw the note you left on the bed," Lloyd began. "Is desertion an issue for you?"

"I hope it's just a temporary thing. After he was shot, the medical unit had to evac him out of the forest on a sling under a helicopter. Blair wasn't happy about that and he wasn't happy that I didn't make it to the hospital before he went to surgery. Part of me wants to yell at him to grow up because sometimes I have other things that need to be tended to -- in this case, my captain and the criminal who did the damage. But, if I could have, I would have been on the helicopter with him and pacing the floor outside surgery while the damage from the bullet wound was repaired."

"Is love an issue for you?"

Jim twisted his cup in his hands. "I'm not sure I know what love is. Whatever I feel for Blair, I've never felt for another person before."

"Does it have anything to do with him?" Lloyd pointed to the panther sleeping in the sun not far from the shaded table.

"Pushy," Jim groaned. "He's worse than a chaperone because his job seems to be pushing us together. And it would be so much easier if he would just talk to me instead of looking at me like I should know what he wants me to do."

"It must be important because I've seen a lot of gay men in my life, but I've never seen one with a spirit guide." Lloyd chuckled, "Although it might make my life a lot easier."

"What do you mean?"

"Charlie and I have been helping gay men for a long time and you're the first who ever brought your own help -- which is just as well because I figure you to be a lot of trouble."

"How so?"

"Let's see, you're in pretty good shape but I'd guess you're pushing forty."

Jim nodded.

"And that beautiful young man in your room is what? Twenty-five?"

"Twenty eight," Jim supplied.

"And this is your first serious relationship?"

"I was married."

"To a woman?"

Jim nodded.

"And it didn't work?"

Jim nodded again and sipped his coffee.

"Because you're gay or because you have trouble with relationships?"

"I'm not sure I am gay, although I guess sleeping with Blair sticks me with that label, and I've never had a lasting relationship."

"How about your parents?"

Jim shrugged. "My mother died when I was twelve. I had a major disagreement with my father and haven't seen him since I graduated high school and left home."

"Siblings?"

Jim gave serious consideration to walking away from the conversation but when he started to move, Purusha growled and Jim sighed in resignation. "A brother. Someplace, maybe. I haven't seen him in a long time either."

"So you don't have a clue about how to build a long term relationship and you don't know how to love or trust people, and you're uncertain about your sexuality. Any traumatic experiences that make this worse?"

"Other than the eighteen months I spent in Peru and the horrors I encounter on my job, life is just a cake walk."

"Sarcasm is not a good defense mechanism here, James. If you can't be honest with yourself and with Blair, your relationship is doomed."

Purusha raised his head and stared at Jim.

"Is that why I'm here? To learn to be honest with Blair?"

"What do you think?"

"I think I was rushed on all sides."

"What do you want? Your cold, sterile life before Blair?"

"It was much simpler," Jim stated.

"And empty," Lloyd added. "Do you have any idea of the substance abuse and suicide rate among middle aged cops who have nothing in their lives but broken relationships?"

Jim stared into his coffee cup.

"We can help you change that, if you want us to."

"You mean like Jason and his slave fetish?"

"Are you always this testy in the morning? No wonder Blair sleeps in."

"Blair's sleeping because he's hurt. Usually he doesn't sleep much at all; maybe four or five hours a night. He's like this crazy bundle of energy."

"And that constantly reminds you of the difference in your ages?"

"Yeah, I guess it does."

"And somewhere you learned that an age difference would cause a marriage to fail."

"What?" Jim gulped.

"You learned that and we have to find out where and why, so you can unlearn it." Lloyd emptied his cup. "I'd like to tell you a story, but first I'd like more coffee. You go make sure your lover is still sleeping while I go to the kitchen."

"Michael said someone named Cary was going to check on Blair today."

"Another one of my *sons*, James. Cary is a fine doctor, works in the clinic with Michael and they both work for Cary's lover, Kenneth, who started the clinic when his own life was empty and he needed to fill it. Cary and Kenneth are part of a triple and their partner, Collin, is a surgeon. The three of them will probably be here, so Blair will be in good hands." Lloyd stood and took the coffee mugs. "Now go."

Blair was still asleep with his version of the panther watching over him, so Jim adjusted the covers and kissed Blair's forehead again before returning to the kitchen and the table outside, where Lloyd had placed fruit and yogurt on the table with fresh coffee.

"Did Blair tell you to feed me that?" Jim asked.

"Diet is very important to good health. You should try *living* with doctors." Lloyd lowered his voice. "Sometimes Charlie and I spend our weekend off seeing how much junk food we can eat. Of course," he laughed, "we usually spend the next week regretting it and listening to the *I told you so's* from our children."

"You said you wanted to tell me a story." Jim ate a strawberry and thought about feeding them to Blair.

"I'm an old man and do the story telling bit -- sometimes I even make a point."

"Old man, my foot, and I'll bet the only drooling you do is over the pretty young things that run around here," Jim teased.

"So you do have a sense of humor. I was afraid we were going to have to teach you that too."

"Blair's been working on me."

"So you have already worked to unlearn some past behavior."

"Lloyd, I thought you were going to tell me a story." Jim ate more strawberries and some lemon yogurt.

"About a hundred years ago, I met Charlie in a bar. It was practically love at first sight and I had to learn how to live in a whole new world."

Jim sipped coffee and waited for Lloyd to continue.

"I was married and had a child, a son, but I also needed something more than I could get at home, which was a deadend place called Fresno. So every chance I got, I'd sneak off to San Francisco and hit the bars -- the leather bars. One night I found Charlie, or maybe I should say we found each other. Once he felt me up, he couldn't wait to get us out of the bar and back at his place. I think we spent about a week in bed before we faced the reality of life. But we were fated for each other, like you and Blair are, and even though I tried to go back to my wife, there was no way to make it work.

"Charlie was a grad student at the time, living in a tiny hole in the wall while he finished his dissertation and I was seeing him on weekends while still trying to work and keep some sanity in my life. But my wife wasn't stupid and pushed for an end to our marriage. Charlie made me work things out with her, including support for her and our son. Some weeks Charlie and I went without but he never let me skip those payments. He was right, too, because it helped me ease away from my straight life and keep in contact with my son. Not that there weren't problems, but at least we had a way of working them out.

"Charlie was fascinated with my relationship with Eric -- my son -- and he wanted to know if there was a difference between gay parents and straight parents. Then he wanted to know how straight parents handled gay sons. What he found out changed our lives forever."

"How?" Jim asked when Lloyd was silent.

"Charlie is a psychologist. How the mind works is the driving force behind his passion. And he was appalled when he discovered that many young men were kicked out of their homes when they confessed to being gay. Anyway, here were the two of us in this tiny place with virtually no money between us and he wanted to start fostering gay boys who needed homes. We started planning and saving while he finished his dissertation. I worked two jobs so he could concentrate on building his private practice and teaching. Finally, we managed to find a house we could afford. It needed a lot of work but the house felt right. Over the last thirty years that house has seen a lot of love and a lot of boys -- and men -- get a new chance on life, learn how to handle being gay, being in love, dealing with life in the real world. We had some major losses, kids we couldn't help, but on the whole, we have been wildly successful and this retreat is the icing on the cake. We started with one house, then another, Kenneth added the clinic and then we added a hospice to help Kenneth deals with his AIDS patients, and finally this place. It allows us to help so many people, like we can help you and Blair, whether it's just everyday life or a major crisis like rape or abuse. We work in all areas of gay life, including the SM portion that Jason was teasing you with last night."

"That was teasing?" Jim asked.

"He wanted to get your attention because he wanted you to talk about other possibilities in your life."

"Like running around in public with no clothes on?"

"First of all, James, this place is hardly public, and the purpose of no clothes is to get in touch with your body and how you feel about it. You cannot be free to love Blair until you're free of the emotional baggage that restrains you. Jason wanted to make sure that you knew there were a lot of options available to you."

"Yeah, and he picked one that really turned my lover on," Jim grumbled.

"Oh, yeah," Lloyd responded gleefully. "I thought that young man had a lot of spunk."

"Maybe too much for his own good." Jim looked around for the panther and discovered he was gone.

"I need to ask you a question, one you need not answer, but one I want you to think about seriously."

"What?"

"If the idea of SM play really turns Blair on and you find you simply can't handle it, will your love be strong enough to let him play with someone else when he needs to?"

"What?" Jim shouted.

"I take that to mean you believe that a relationship should be limited to two people."

"Well, I thought, I mean, hell, I'm not sure what I mean."

"That's an honest answer, but I do need you to think about it because I have found that men who need rough play in their sex lives really do need it -- like I needed it -- and denying that need causes major problems. I found a partner who also needed the rough play, but if I hadn't, I would have still needed an outlet for my needs. It's one of the reasons why we have the building on the other side of the property. We have built an SM playground for gay men to play in, safely and privately, in couples or triples or singles or whatever they need. I have even trained reluctant Masters like Michael to handle the needs of his lover so that their relationship is stronger. Not every relationship needs the outlet. Patrick and Danny are happy and complete within the framework of the marriage they built for themselves, but Jason could never have survived inside those restrictions. We have provided a way for men to learn about themselves and their partners and to learn how to live inside relationships that they design. It's what we want for you and Blair."

"Everyone keeps saying that, then we start talking about this Master and slave thing."

"No one is ever going to make you do something you don't want to do. You have my word on that," Lloyd promised.

"Lloyd?" a voice called from the kitchen.

"Out here," Lloyd responded.

Two men descended the stairs leading from the kitchen, each carrying coffee mugs. The one leading was in his mid thirties, with blond hair and blue eyes, not quite six feet tall. The other was about the same age, black and beautiful and taller.

The blond man leaned over and kissed Lloyd like a lover.

"I'm glad to see you, too," Lloyd said breathlessly. "James, this is my son, Cary Roberts, and one of his partners, Collin Lamonica."

Jim stood and offered his hand to both men.

"How's Blair this morning?" Cary asked.

"Still sleeping," Jim replied as he released Cary's hand. "Although he should be waking up soon and he'll be angry if I'm gone. I should go back to the room."

"Don't leave on our account," Collin added.

"I'm not, but Blair's still not moving too good and he'll need some help getting to the bathroom."

"I'll bring him some breakfast," Lloyd promised.

"And we'll be down to check on him after I talk to Michael," Cary said.

"Where's Kenneth?" Lloyd asked as he picked up the dishes on the table.

"The clinic was really crowded already this morning so I'd promised I get back as quickly as possibly," Cary explained.

Jim headed into the kitchen where he wahed his coffee cup, placed it in the drainer, then went down the hall to their room.

Blair was struggling to get up and Purusha was pacing the floor.

Sliding his arms around Blair's waist, Jim helped his lover into the bathroom. "Have you been awake long?"

"Long enough to find your note." Blair leaned against Jim's side. "Ouch. I'm really stiff this morning."

"Probably because you slept a lot longer than you usually do. You want to stand or sit?"

"I'd like to stand by myself."

"Sure thing, Chief," Jim started to let go, then caught Blair as he slid down. "Now, do you want to stand or sit?"

"I'll stand, with your help," Blair conceded.

Jim was helping Blair to sit on the bed when Lloyd knocked on the door, announcing breakfast.

"Are you hungry this morning?" Lloyd asked Blair.

"Yeah, I am."

Lloyd uncovered a tray containing fruit, yogurt and a bowl of grapenuts. "Your doctor's choice."

Plunging a spoon into the cereal, Blair asked, "And what does my doctor say about getting out of this bed."

"And that from the man who can't stand," Jim added.

"You'll have to asked Cary, who's talking to Michael. Jim, please bring the tray back to the kitchen when Blair finishes." Lloyd opened the door. "I have other children to watch over right now."

By the time Blair had completed his breakfast, Cary and Collin had arrived.

Cary removed the bandage and checked the healing wound. "It looks good."

"Does that mean I can get up? Take a shower? Shave?" Blair asked. "And I want a room with a big bed. I don't care what Michael says, I need to sleep with him," Blair pointed at Jim, "and it's very crowded in this little bed."

"Whoa," Cary held up his hand. "Can you stand?"

Blair shook his head.

"Can you stand with support?"

"You mean like Jim holding me?"

"Yes," Cary replied. "Or maybe crutches?"

"I can do that," Blair replied enthusiastically.

"Then you can get up. I'll get you what you need," Cary offered, "but we'll need to move you to the other large building for the gym and special showers and a place for Jim to wash your hair."

"You mean that slave thing?" Jim gulped.

"We use the gym and other equipment in our playtime."

"Don't tell me you are involved in that stuff?" Jim felt his panic level rise.

As if on cue, Collin knelt behind Cary.

"I have two slaves," Cary boasted, "and we play every chance we get."

"Will you tell us about it?" Blair asked, his curiosity on his face.

Collin stood. "We have to get back to the clinic, but Lloyd can show you around and get you settled in."

Cary looked at Jim. "Is there a problem?"

"Yeah, a big one, but I guess I'll have to work it out while I'm taking care of Blair," Jim admitted.

"We can discuss it with Father Patrick," Blair suggested, wiggling on the bed.

"Blair," Cary stated in a professional tone, "remove the bandage while you shower, then I want Lloyd to re-bandage it. And do not over-tire yourself."

"Yes, sir."

"And I want to talk to Michael about some exercises for you to start with. He or Lloyd will show you the gym. I expect my orders to be followed without fail."

"Yes, Master Cary," Blair replied, and grinned at Jim.

* * * end of chapter 7 * * *