Title: "All You Need Is a Cape, Ellison 4"

Author/pseudonym: Alexis Rogers

Rating: NC-17 for *bdsm*

Pairings: J/B

Status: Long story in progress

Date: 18 May 1997

Archive: YES

Archive author: Alexis Rogers

Series/Sequel: Yes Drama

Disclaimers: "The Sentinel", the episode "Survival", Jim Ellison, Blair Sandburg, Simon Banks, Dawson Quinn and the damn pushy panther belong to the great folks at Pet Fly Production, Burbank & Vancouver. Father Mykkhal, Michael Smith Anderson, Jason Anderson, Father Patrick and Victoria and J.M. Anderson belong to the author. This story was produced for the sole purpose of entertaining the author and a few friends; it was not meant to infringe on the rights of any of the legal owners.

Summary: Jim and Blair arrive at the retreat in Berkeley. Jim talks to Jason.

Story Warnings: The following story contains graphic descriptions of consensual sex between two or more men, although not each chapter contains each element listed in this warning. The story also contains elements of consensual *bdsm*, as well as nudity and the discussion of sexual topics with fictional characters under the age of eighteen. (Please note that the age of consent is not the same in all parts of the world.) I generally use the term *bdsm* to cover the concepts that, for me, fall under the label of Sexual Magic (SM). *bdsm* includes, but is not limited to, bondage, domination, sadomasochism, elements of Domination/submission [D/s], anal stimulation including enemas and fisting, sex toys, spanking, discipline, corporal punishment, whipping, and slave training. Muliple sex partners happens in latter chapters. Not all of these elements are present in each of the chapters; there isn't ever sex until sex until chapter six, but the *bdsm* theme is present throughout the story.

Chapter warnings: m/m

"All You Need Is a Cape, Ellison 4"
by Alexis Rogers
19 May 1997

Jim walked around the beautiful grounds of the retreat in the Berkeley Hills. Oleander grew tall outside the old, worn, gray stone wall fence, the red, pink and white flowers set against the deep green of the bushes, which guaranteed privacy. Every few feet, set into the stone wall was a plaque reminding people that oleander is poisonous. It did not matter to him since he was not planning on eating the bushes, just enjoy the serenity the lush vegetation gave the place.

He and Blair had arrived last night with Michael Anderson. Blair had been very tired and in pain, and his wound was bleeding.

Michael insisted that Blair spend the night in the infirmary, but Blair resisted and finally he and Jim had been settled in a room with twin beds. Michael stood firm, stating they could not sleep together until Blair had healed a little more and ending the argument by giving them both a sedative.

Jim had slept for twelve hours, steadied by the sound of Blair's heartbeat.

But now he was restless because he and Blair were scheduled to have their first counseling session this evening. They had agreed to couples counseling because they had decided not to keep secrets from each other and now Jim was wondering if that was the wisest move. There were things in his past he would just as soon keep there and even though Blair was much younger, Blair probably had secrets that should remain so as well.

Continuing his walk, Jim came to a large swimming pool. On the other side of the pool was another building, set back under more lush vegetation. A rose garden surrounded the pool area.

"Jim?"

He turned at the sound of the voice. "Yeah?"

"Hi, I'm Jason Anderson." The man walked to Jim and offered his hand. "Father Patrick told me to make sure you were all right."

"I'm not late for something, am I?" Jim asked, observing shoulder length dark hair, not coal black like Father's Mykkhal's, but a rich, dark brown with gold highlights, which was straight, not curly like Blair's. Jason's eyes were a sparkling dark blue and his skin was a deep olive. Probably Italian blood somewhere, Jim decided as he added height and weight to his survey. *Cop instincts.*

"No," Jason assured, taking a seat at a white plastic table beside the pool which was shaded by old eucalyptus, "but Father Patrick thought you might be a little nervous about the counseling session."

"A little." Jim sat down opposite Jason. "Anderson. You and Michael?"

Jason nodded.

"Is it a coincidence that you both have the same last name?"

"No." Jason smiled and stroked his wedding ring. "He changed his name right before we got married and presented it to me as part of the ceremony. I just stood there, staring at him with tears rolling down my face. It was an incredible experience."

"A wedding?" Jim remembered his own to Carolyn.

"A big wedding. Michael wanted it so bad and he and Lloyd spent mouths planning and decorating and making sure everything was just perfect." Jason had a dreamy look in his eye.

"It seems to be a pleasant memory."

"I'll let Michael tell you about it, complete with pictures."

"Have you met Blair?" Jim asked.

"Unhuh. He's a little anxious too."

"But to hear him tell it, he's been in therapy for years. Why is this different?"

"He loves you and he doesn't want to fail you. That's really important to him."

"Yeah," Jim agreed, "it would be."

"Father Mykkhal asked Father Patrick to handle your counseling because he thought that as a lapsed Catholic you might still have some trust for a priest. Since you are a cop, he figured you'd had some less than pleasant experiences with counseling."

"He seems to know too much for a man so young."

"Father Mykkhal does have interesting insight," Jason agreed.

"Do you know him well?" Jim pictured the young priest who looked so much like the panther.

"He has been here with Father Patrick. We usually have a lot more kids in the summertime and we can always use more help."

'Kids? And what do you do with them?"

"About the same thing that we're going to do with you; we teach men how to live with their sexual identity when it's different from the rest of the world. The suicide rate for gay teenagers is way above the national average for the teen group as a whole. We help as many as we can."

"Help? How?"

"Counseling mostly, but we also allow sexual freedom and we teach them about their bodies, why they feel what they feel, and why it's not wrong." Jason watched the wind tousle the leaves on the trees. "I think Patrick sent me out here so that I could help you understand that the counseling we do can really help, because I have been through the routine since I was sixteen. I can't imagine trying to face my problems alone, and I didn't have anywhere near the problems of men like Michael who were victims of abuse."

"He said you had had some problems."

"Yeah. He was in med school and I was playing baseball and we never got to see each other. If it hadn't been for the support of the men here, our family, we probably wouldn't have made it. I decided that the only course of action was to give up the game and come home where I belong."

"You played pro ball and you gave it up?" Jim was astonished.

"It was play time for me. I knew my place was here, giving back to the people who had helped me. And I love Michael more than anything. I can't imagine life without him." Jason smiled. "We even have kids."

"Kids?"

"Yeah. My sister and her husband were killed in an automobile accident and my parents insisted that Michael and I adopt Victoria and J.M. Our son is Jason Michael. My sister named him after us in hopes that his generation would understand our love."

"Uhh?"

"Let me guess; you've never seen this side of gay life."

"I'm not even sure I've seen that side of straight life. My formative years weren't exactly happy ones and my marriage, to a woman, was a total failure."

"Jim, any relationship, marriage, parenting, whatever, is damn difficult and everyone needs help to make it work. Because Michael was raised basically as a foster child, he always expected us to foster gay boys. We were trained to do that, but then we had our own kids and we had a lot more to learn. Thankfully, we have my parents and Michael's parents -- well, technically Charlie and Lloyd are his foster parents, but we never think of them quite that way, and everyone helps with the kids." Jason reached for his wallet. "Would you like to see pictures?"

"Could we save that for another time?"

"You mean you'd rather face your counseling session than be bored by my family pictures?" Jason asked innocently.

Jim laughed, a little shaky, but it was a genuine laugh. "I just never thought much about kids. My home life was not very happy and I didn't want to repeat it for anyone else."

"More behavior to unlearn and relearn. You'd need to do that anyway but you probably wouldn't know it, anymore than you knew you needed to learn how to build a relationship with Blair."

"How much did Michael tell you?"

"Jim, Michael would never break a doctor/patient confidence, but he didn't think the experience with you and the spirit guide was that and we have been a team for many years, and he did think it was one of the strangest things he had ever seen."

"So he told you everything?"

"Pretty much. Do you mind?"

"Only that I need to keep the *Sentinel* thing quiet. If the wrong people found out, I could be in trouble -- or worse, Blair could be in trouble."

"We already understand that. Father Mykkhal, Father Patrick, Michael and I are the only ones here that know, or need to know. We're good at keeping secrets."

Jim heard noise from the building across the way from the swimming pool.

"What?" Jason asked.

"Who's over there?" Jim pointed to the building, made of stone like many of the other buildings on the property, this one tucked under two huge mimosa trees that covered it in shade.

"Oh, Jimbo, you are not ready for that side of the retreat." Jason paused, then added, "That's where we train the slaves."

"What?" Jim gripped the edge of the table as he started to rise.

"Easy, Detective, your badge isn't good here -- and we're not breaking any laws anyway."

"But slaves --"

"Sex slaves, trained to experience new levels in sexuality." Jason's eyes were bright as he talked. "Think about totally submitting yourself to that beautiful young man you sleep with, about turning complete, total control over to him, so that he held your ultimate pleasure in his hands."

"I think that's a little beyond what I want."

Jason studied Jim's face, then asked: "You worked Vice, didn't you?"

"Yeah, so what?"

"The what, my dear policeman, is that you only saw the worse side of life, which only represents a small percentage. There are many delights in this world that you have yet to experience and doing so with Blair should be one hell of a ride. And if you're not interested in serving him as the master he has the potential to be, I'll take your place in a New York minute."

"You're into that sort of thing?" Jim wanted to be miles from here.

"Oh," understanding bloomed on Jason's face. "Blair's your first, isn't he?"

"He's the first man I've ever loved, maybe even the first person."

"And you're having trouble with that?"

"In more ways that one," Jim admitted.

"Are you telling me that beautiful young stallion hasn't ridden you hard and put you away wet?"

Jim shook his head, his face red and hot with embarrassment as he confessed his sexual failures to a virtual stranger. "I can't," he whispered.

Jason took Jim's hand. "It's okay. It's one of the things we can teach you. You'd be surprised at how many men can't take anal penetration for a lot of reasons. We'll work with you, to locate the problem, and find a solution. That is, if you want it. Although how you can not want that gorgeous creature to fuck you into next week is beyond me."

The panther butted Jim's knee. "Damn."

"What?"

"Look under the table and tell me what you see?" Jim touched the soft fur of the big cat.

"Wow, is that your spirit guide?"

"You see him?" Jim scratched between the cat's ears.

"Yes, Jim, I see him."

"And he doesn't live here or anything?"

"No, Jim, your spirit guide must feel very strongly about what's happening to you. There's an issue for you to deal with. Do you know what it is?"

Pulling his hand away, Jim stared at the building across the pool. "This is a mistake. We shouldn't be here."

"I understand your spirit guide pretty much ordered you to be here." Jason looked at the cat again.

"That's it," Jim stated as he stood and paced. "I'm nuts. I'm losing my mind. I'm seeing a priest turn into a panther and I hear purring and growling -- I can even touch my own hallucination. Now I'm in an old Catholic retreat where men are trained to be sex slaves. I'm definitely crazy." The panther licked his paw.

"No, you're not. You're discovering what love can do to your life, a life I might add that is further complicated by responsibilities that I don't understand. You're here because we can help you, if you'll let us."

Dropping back into his chair, Jim sighed. "How can you help?"

"First, you must trust me, trust us."

The panther growled and swatted at Jim's leg."

"That's amazing," Jason said, "he wants you to trustus."

The animal disappeared but Jim could hear a soft purring in the background.

Reaching across the table, Jason took both of Jim's hands. "Trust. A tough one for you, huh?"

Jim nodded.

"Okay, let's try something. I'm not a sex therapist, I'm simply a happily married gay man and one of the reasons I'm happy is that Michael and I were taught how to love each other. Who taught you how to pleasure another human being?"

"Nobody, I mean, I learned from doing, from other partners."

"That's what's wrong with the world. We don't teach our children how to love, so they never know and they can't make things work and they don't know how to fix it. How did you ever manage to get together with Blair?"

"We had some help."

"Ah, your cat."

"Yeah," Jim admitted, "my cat."

Jason laughed. "It would seem that your cat has discovered that now you need some outside help to take you forward in your relationship. Maybe Michael and I will take the role of your mentors." Jason gripped Jim's hands. "How would you handle watching Michael and I make love to your beautiful lover?"

"No." Jim tried to pull away.

"A more disturbing vision than you as Blair's slave?"

"Don't," Jim pleaded.

"Trust me; your cat does."

"I," pain encircled Jim's chest making it difficult to breath.

"Easy, Jimbo," Jason assured. "I want to tell you a story."

Jim nodded, laboring to draw air into his lungs.

"When Michael and I decided we wanted to be lovers, and remember we were sixteen at the time, we went to Charlie and Lloyd. They helped us write the rules for our relationship, and define punishment if we violated those rules, they made us learn about our own and each other's bodies, why certain touches pleased and others didn't. We learned about sex and sensuality -- Michael was pleased when you washed Blair's hair because it's such a sensual thing to do for a lover. We learned how to make love to each other by both practice and lessons from older more experienced men. When we were ready for anal penetration, we had experienced partners showing us how. When Michael and I finally came together, taking total possession of each other, it was incredible. We bathed each other, we cleaned each other -- I love the feeling of Michael filling my ass with warm water -- not just for that pleasure but for all the things that follow. There was no anxiety, pain, or fear -- just pure pleasure. Would you like us to show you that?"

"Uh," Jim could not form words.

"Is your reluctance due to your possessiveness or a fear of sex with more than one partner?"

"Ah, I don't think I know."

"Are you willing to find out?"

Jim was silent for a while and thought about his lover and the panther that seemed to be their guide. "I don't think I have a choice."

"Then I suggest you go meet Blair and Father Patrick."

Jim rose slowly from the chair.

"Do you love Blair?"

"Without question or doubt."

"Then hang on to that and hang on to him. If a session gets too intense, just hang on to him and remember how important he is in your life. Everyone here will support you. When you get to group, you'll see how special the caring can be. You've got a lot to learn, but it will be worth it."

Jim walked slowly toward the building which contained the room he shared with Blair. Father Patrick had said they would meet there since Blair still wasn't allowed to get up. The panther walked at Jim's side until he opened the door and entered the building.

------------ end of chapter four ---------