Title: "All You Need Is a Cape, Ellison 3"

Author/pseudonym: Alexis Rogers

Rating: NC-17 for *bdsm*

Pairings: J/B

Status: Long story in progress

Date: 18 May 1997

Archive: YES

Archive author: Alexis Rogers

Series/Sequel: Yes

Drama

Disclaimers: "The Sentinel", the episode "Survival", Jim Ellison, Blair Sandburg, Simon Banks, Dawson Quinn and the damn pushy panther belong to the great folks at Pet Fly Production, Burbank & Vancouver. Father Mykkhal, Michael Smith Anderson, Sister Kathryn, and Sister Margaret belong to the author. This story was produced for the sole purpose of entertaining the author and a few friends; it was not meant to infringe on the rights of any of the legal owners.

Summary: Following the shooting in "Survival" Blair is airlifted out of the forest and to a hospital. Father Mykkhal brings Doctor Michael Anderson to Blair's room and they talk about moving Blair to a gay friendly environment in Berkeley. (Father Mykkhal doesn't travel with the group to California.)

Story Warnings: The following story contains graphic descriptions of consensual sex between two or more men, although not each chapter contains each element listed in this warning. The story also contains elements of consensual *bdsm*, as well as nudity and the discussion of sexual topics with fictional characters under the age of eighteen. (Please note that the age of consent is not the same in all parts of the world.) I generally use the term *bdsm* to cover the concepts that, for me, fall under the label of Sexual Magic (SM). *bdsm* includes, but is not limited to, bondage, domination, sadomasochism, elements of Domination/submission [D/s], anal stimulation including enemas and fisting, sex toys, spanking, discipline, corporal punishment, whipping, and slave training. Muliple sex partners happens in latter chapters. Not all of these elements are present in each of the chapters; there isn't ever sex until sex until chapter six, but the *bdsm* theme is present throughout the story.

Chapter warnings: m/m, intimacy

"All You Need Is a Cape, Ellison 3"
by Alexis Rogers
18 May 1997

A hand on his shoulder woke Jim abruptly.

"Easy," Father Mykkhal whispered, "it's okay."

Jerking his hand away from Blair's uncovered groin, Jim stood and rubbed his eyes.

"It's okay, Detective, I'd hang onto him, too, if he were mine." Another man, dressed in lab coat, said, then offered his hand. "I'm Doctor Anderson. Michael Anderson." Anderson appeared to be in his early thirties with dark blond hair and blue eyes that testified to his world weariness.

"Doctor," Jim replied as they shook hands, then reached for the sheet, intending to cover his still sleeping partner. Jim heard the loud purring of a cat.

"That's an interesting tattoo." The doctor pointed to the black panther on Blair's hip. "I've never seen one with such vivid colors and eyes that look like emeralds."

"They were done in Peru." Jim tucked the sheet under Blair's chin after straightening all the tubes. He could feel the panther in the room with them.

"They?" Father Mykkhal asked, then looked at Jim. "Of course, there are two. You wear its twin."

"It's a very personal matter, Father," Jim insisted.

"We know." The doctor checked Blair's pulse. "The good father called me last night after you left him and I made arrangements to be here as quickly as possible. My pilot's napping in the plane right now."

"You're not treating Blair?"

"I'm not on staff here, no, but I would like to treat Blair." Anderson stated. "And you."

"What? Why? There's nothing wrong with me."

"We don't have a lot of time, Detective Ellison," the priest stated. "The day shift has started and Sister Kathryn makes Sister Margaret look like a wimp. Doctor Mike works with gay couples, helps them make their relationships last and work."

"But?" Jim stuttered.

"How does your family feel about the fact that you're a homosexual?" the priest asked bluntly.

"They don't know."

"And your fellow officers? How do they feel about working with a *fag* -- your word from last night?" Father Mykkhal continued.

"They don't know either," Jim admitted, "but my captain's gonna have to know soon."

"Do you understand how much you need him?" Father Mykkhal pointed at Blair.

Jim nodded as he stared at his lover.

Anderson checked the I.V. drip. "Do you have any idea how hard it is to make a gay relationship work?"

"Probably harder than a straight marriage -- and I failed at that."

Father Mykkhal studied Blair for a moment. "So you're bisexual, have a failed marriage, have a job that demands you be *straight*, and an age difference of what?" He looked at Jim. "Ten years?"

"Twelve." It slipped out before Jim could stop the word. With everything else he and Blair had to worry about, why was age in the front of his mind?

"And there is something more, isn't there?" the priest pushed.

"It's personal, Father."

"Yes, we know, Sentinel."

*If he turns into a cat...* Jim thought. "How can you know that?"

"God works in mysterious ways."

"I don't believe in God!" Jim shouted.

"Shhh. You'll wake him." Anderson pointed to Blair.

Father Mykkhal placed his hand on Jim's shoulder. "*He* believes in you."

"Jim." Blair croaked, and all three men turned to look at him.

Holding the straw to Blair's lips, Jim offered water.

"I gotta go." Blair struggled to sit up.

"Easy, baby," Jim whispered. "I'll get the nurse."

"Don't be silly." Anderson handed Jim the plastic urinal. "I can do it if you don't want to."

"Jim, who are these people?" Blair rubbed his eyes with his unencumbered hand.

"Father Mykkhal," Jim indicated the young man with the long black hair and bright green eyes, "and Doctor Anderson." Jim carefully lifted the covers and slipped the plastic bottle gently over Blair's cock, then replaced the sheet to give him some privacy.

"Hey, man, I can go to the bathroom," Blair protested.

"Not yet," the doctor warned, while facing Blair and rubbing his thumbs around Blair's temples. "Are you ashamed of your bodily functions?"

"I'm just not used to having an audience when I pee."

"Relax and trust your body to your lover's hands," Anderson continued.

"But..."

"Do you engage in sexual acts with him?"

"Yes," Blair admitted.

"This is an intimacy no different than allowing him to touch you sexually." Anderson massaged gently. "Trust him."

The bottle in Jim's hand filled with warm liquid and he waited until Blair finished before he removed the hated contraption.

Father Mykkhal took the bottle from Jim and handed him a warm wash cloth. "Clean him, like you would after sex."

Staring into bright green eyes, Jim stammered, "After sex, I'd probably lick him clean."

"Like the cat that guides you, no doubt." the priest added.

"This is just too weird." Jim ran the cloth gently around Blair's cock, then over the skin of the rest of his groin area.

"Mr. Sandburg." A nurse pushed the door open.

"Could you give us a moment?" Doctor Anderson asked.

"Certainly, Doctor." She backed out.

"Detective, we need to move this conversation someplace else, and we do need to continue it."

"Without Blair?" Jim asked.

"Only for the moment. The nurses have a job to do and we need to let them do it. We'll talk, then come back and explain everything to Blair after he's had breakfast and a bath." Anderson said.

"I'd like to wash his hair," Jim whispered.

"That doesn't surprise me," Anderson replied, "and I'll see if I can arrange it. Now, we need to go."

"I'd like to have a moment alone with him. Please." Jim smoothed the covers over Blair.

"We'll wait in the hall," Father Mykkhal promised.

"Jim?" There was a note of panic in Blair's voice.

"It's okay, Chief. I'm only going out into the hall, then to check on Simon. I was here all night and I'm not going to leave you except to go home to change." Jim leaned over and kissed his lover. "Besides, I'm going to wash your hair." Then he kissed him again. "I love you."

"I know," Blair tried to smile.

Jim used the toilet in the room, then kissed Blair again before he opened the door and stepped out into the hall. "I need to check on my captain."

"I anticipated that," Anderson said. "He's right down here."

"Simon?" Jim called as he followed Doctor Anderson and Father Mykkhal into the room.

"And what are you dressed up as?" Simon laughed and clutched at his stomach.

"I think this is the latest in expectant father's wear," Jim quipped. "Doctor Anderson and Father Mykkhal, I'd like to introduce my captain, Simon Banks."

"I've heard some nice things about you," Father Mykkhal said, offering his hand.

"I understand you're being released this morning," Anderson added as he shook hands.

"Yeah, so I can rest and heal in my own bed. Damn doctor wants me to take two weeks off," Simon grumbled.

"Do it," Anderson ordered. "And I want Detective Ellison and his partner for a couple weeks as well."

"There's nothing wrong with me," Jim declared.

"But there's a lot wrong with young Sandburg and he'll heal faster with you there," Anderson continued. "Captain, I'd like you to authorize medical leave for both men for two weeks. I don't expect Sandburg to be ready to return to work by then, but Detective Ellison should be."

"That's not necessary," Jim tried.

"Jim," Simon held up his hand, "that kid held his own out there and took a bullet for his effort. If two weeks will help, you got it."

"I'll be back in a little while to drive you home," Jim promised. "I have your car."

"That isn't necessary," Simon protested.

"Simon, it's my fault you're here. At least let me drive you home."

"Okay, but no more guilt. It's not your fault anymore than it's mine."

Jim sighed. "Yes, Captain." He led the two men out of Simon's room.

"The coffee in the doctor's lounge should be lethal by now," Father Mykkhal promised.

Once the three men were seated at a table, Jim twisted his coffee cup, then looked directly at Father Mykkhal. "Will you please tell me how you know about me, about us?"

"I had a vision or a dream, I'm not sure which." Father Mykkhal stirred sugar into his coffee. "A black panther led me to you in the chapel, giving me mental pictures of you in the jungle and you with your guide. There's a lot of it I don't understand, but the power of your relationship with that young man is very strong and the panther spirit, which also marks your body, impressed upon me the importance of the two of you being together and staying together."

"So you rushed out and called Doctor Anderson?"

"Mike or Michael, please," the doctor said.

"Detective Ellison, you are a policeman in this town and not an active part of the gay community, therefore I thought it might be wise for you to find what you need in another location, like San Francisco, so I called Michael's group."

"Group?" Jim sipped his coffee.

"I am part of a staff of doctors who run a clinic in San Francisco. Besides the medical doctors we have several psychologists and our own priest. We try to service all the needs of the gay community and we focus on helping gay couples make their relationships as strong and lasting as possible. Father Patrick, our priest and a remarkable human being, found a Catholic retreat that wasn't being used any longer and helped make arrangements for us to buy it. We have ten acres of quiet serenity in Berkeley that we use for a retreat for men who need to learn how to love each other or to recharge their love. We'd like for you to be our guests for two weeks."

"Priests? Church? The last time I looked, the church frowned on homosexuality."

Father Mykkhal grinned. "Sometimes priests sort of overlook what the church says in order to help the people God put us here to help. Father Patrick helped me understand his calling and make it my own." He chuckled. "It seems Father Patrick had to restructure his own beliefs after he fell in love and married Danny."

Jim pushed his chair back and walked to the window. "This is too weird. I need some sleep or something."

"Is it any weirder than the cat at your feet?" Father Mykkhal asked in an awed tone.

Jim looked down. The panther was just sitting there. "Doctor Anderson, am I having some kind of breakdown?" He scratched the animal's head between the ears.

"Father Mykkhal doesn't think so."

"My son," the young priest said, "I think you have an enormous task to do in your life and that God was unable to speak to you otherwise, so he gave you a spirit guide as well as your human guide. I think the fact that we can all see the cat that can't possibly be here is because he wants us to trust each other. If you can't trust us, we can't help you."

The panther purred, pushed his head into Jim's hand, then was gone.

"Sit down, Detective," Anderson ordered, "before you fall down."

Slumping into his chair, Jim looked at the two strangers. *Trust*. That did not come easy to him. He trusted Simon and he had learned to trust Blair -- but two total strangers. This was not going to be easy. He drained his coffee cup, hoping the caffeine would jump start his brain.

"James," Father Mykkhal said softly, "I know this is difficult for you, but if you can, let us help you."

"What exactly would you do?"

"Allow Blair to heal in a nurturing environment, and work with you in developing your relationship. How long have you been lovers?"

Jim felt the air move around his feet, but the cat was not there when he looked down. "Six months," he whispered.

"Any problems?" Anderson asked.

"I've never bothered to make a list."

"In the bedroom?" Anderson continued.

"You want me to discuss my sex life with you?" The room seemed alive with the sounds of a cat purring.

"I'm a doctor, Detective Ellison, and my patients are gay men and sometimes their families. Many of those patients die so I try to promote life whenever and wherever I can. Father Mykkhal is a priest who works with gay men and their families. You aren't going to tell us anything we haven't heard before." Anderson patted Jim's hand. "I grew up in a gay household, fostered by two wonderful men, I met my life partner when I was sixteen. We were married right after high school graduation." Anderson held up his left hand so Jim could see his wedding ring. "We have been surrounded most of our lives by loving, caring people in a gay community -- and we've still had some major problems. It must be terribly difficult for someone like you without all that support to handle being gay and deal with your *Sentinel* duties -- which I don't even understand."

"James," Father Mykkhal continued, "what you're being offered is a place in a caring gay community where you can learn to understand your feelings and responsibilities without the pressure that your co-workers will find out."

"Being different from the rest of the world can be impossible to handle." Anderson went for the coffee pot and refilled the cups. "And it's impossible to do it alone."

Jim stared at his coffee. "What would you expect us to do?"

"Physical therapy as Blair heals, and physical therapy for you to help your mind heal. You carry a lot of guilt. It's time to face it and dump it. You would be in counseling several hours every day --some private, some group -- as you learn that your life style need not isolate you from happiness and your job. We have hundreds of gay men -- couples, triples, individuals -- from all over the country who spend time with us, in retreat, recharging their emotional batteries. I think you'll find it interesting and very helpful."

"So you want Blair and me to come to this *retreat* and you pick up all the bills?"

"My foster parents have been helping gay men for a long time. Most of us have grown up to be productive members of our community and we give back to the family that supported us. I work in a clinic with two of my foster brothers. All through med school I knew that's where I would spend my professional life. The pay is lousy and the hours are long, but it's work that must be done. Other members of my extended family support our work financially. My lover, Jason, and our attorney, Mitchell Kendrickson, handle the funds and administer what has become a complex operation. Right now, we consider you as one of our foster children. We care for you, then as you become more stable and productive, you help care for the community. Jason's a terrific fund raiser and we have a nice bank balance but the work is never done and we find more men who need us every day -- from all walks of life."

"You asked earlier about our sex life. Would the counseling include that aspect of our life?"

"Only if you want it," Anderson replied. "I would recommend it because the physical side of loving each other is more difficult than you think and learning to love another man means you have to unlearn most of what you know about sex -- then relearning about the total aspect of sexuality. It's easiest to learn from others who have gone before you."

"James," Father Mykkhal asked, "do the tattoos have a significance other than denoting guide and Sentinel through your spirit guide?"

"In the jungle in Peru, where I first discovered my abilities, Blair and I committed to each other in a union that encompasses all areas of our lives. It had the same surrealistic feeling that this conversation has had: the panther was there and not there and some moments were crystal clear and other hazy."

"So you don't guide easily," the priest concluded. "The panther has to grab your attention forcefully. That may be why your human guide gets hurt so much. For his sake, I think you better spend some time with us and learn to listen to each other."

"If I refuse, will the panther grab me by the scruff of the neck and drag me to you?"

There was a quiet growl in the room.

Father Mykkhal laughed. "I think that's your answer."

"So I go pack Blair up and we head off for San Francisco?"

"If you don't mind," Father Mykkhal said, "I'd like to talk to Blair while you take your captain home. Then you need to pack for two weeks and meet Michael back here at the hospital."

"You can fly back with me. I studied Blair's chart and I think we can meet his medical needs in the infirmary at the retreat. If he needs to be admitted to the hospital, I can take care of that."

The panther walked around the room, purring, then butted his head against Jim's leg.

"That's the pushiest spirit guide I've ever seen," Father Mykkhal laughed.

"And you've had previous experience?" Anderson chided.

"Not this personal -- but it seems James is a very stubborn man."

~~~~~~~~ end of chapter 3 ~~~~