Title: "All You Need Is a Cape, Ellison."

Author/pseudonym: Alexis Rogers

Rating: NC-17 for *bdsm*

Pairings: J/B

Status: Long story in progress

Date: 13 May 1997

Archive: YES

Archive author: Alexis Rogers

Series/Sequel: Yes

Disclaimers: "The Sentinel", the episode "Survival", Jim Ellison, Blair Sandburg, Simon Banks, Dawson Quinn and the damn pushy panther belong to the great folks at Pet Fly Production, Burbank & Vancouver. Father Mykkhal and Sister Margaret belong to the author. This story was produced for the sole purpose of entertaining the author and a few friends; it was not meant to infringe on the rights of any of the legal owners.

Summary: Following the shooting in "Survival" Blair is airlifted out of the forest and to a hospital. Jim goes to the hospital chapel and meets a very unusual priest.

WARNING: The following story contains graphic descriptions of consensual sex between two or more men, although not each chapter contains each element listed in this warning. The story also contains elements of consensual *bdsm*, as well as nudity and the discussion of sexual topics with fictional characters under the age of eighteen. (Please note that the age of consent is not the same in all parts of the world.) I generally use the term *bdsm* to cover the concepts that, for me, fall under the label of Sexual Magic (SM). *bdsm* includes, but is not limited to, bondage, domination, sadomasochism, elements of Domination/submission [D/s], anal stimulation including enemas and fisting, sex toys, spanking, discipline, corporal punishment, whipping, and slave training. While not all these elements exist in every chapter, the *bdsm* theme does. Also, there is no sex until chapter six.

All You Need Is A Cape, Ellison."
by Alexis Rogers
13 May 1997

Jim sank to his knees at the altar in the small chapel at St. Matthews Hospital. His body knew what to do even when his mind did not. After crossing himself, he dropped coins in the box and lit a candle. Blair and Simon were safe three floors above him and he was here because the nurse threatened to throw him out if he didn't leave, but he couldn't go home, not to the place he shared with Blair.

He rested his head on his arms and tried to organize his thoughts; he would even call it prayer, if it helped, but the events of the chase after Quinn kept going around in his head in an endless loop.

"Son, may I help you?"

Lifting his head, Jim stared at the priest standing in the doorway.

"I'm Father Mykkhal." The man walked the short distance to Jim. "I have a couple of lads on the AIDS ward and I sit with them when they need me." The priest took Jim's hand and led him to a pew, where they sat down. "Do you need me now?"

"Confession, Father?" The priest, who had unusually long, coal black hair and incredibly green eyes, was about Blair's age and that made Jim feel old and tired.

"If that's what you need."

"It's been a long time since my last confession." Jim rubbed his hand over his face. "I need a shower."

"If all you needed was a shower, you'd have gone home instead of coming in here." Father Mykkhal touched Jim's dirty pants. "Who's blood is that?"

Jim pondered the question. Maybe he was just tired enough to confess. This priest had been on the AIDS ward; maybe he was different. What the hell? "My lover's."

"Did you make him bleed?"

"Not directly."

"Maybe you should start at the beginning."

"I almost killed a man tonight, Father."

"The one who hurt your lover?"

Jim nodded.

Father Mykkhal stared at Jim's badge. "In the line of duty?"

"My captain would have said so."

"But?"

"He's the one who stopped my killing the guy, but he'd have let me get away with it."

"There must be a reason."

"Father, the two most important people in my life are upstairs in serious condition because of the man I almost killed. A cop killer. I'm not the judge and jury. I don't have a cape in my closet." He heard Quinn's word echo in his head. "I have to believe in the system."

"And if your lover should die?"

Jim looked at the floor. "I honestly don't know. I don't think I could go on without him. I need him in a way I don't know how to express, but I don't know if I'd be driven by revenge. It's not a situation I've faced before."

"Would you take your own life?"

"Suicide's a sin," Jim replied automatically.

"How long has it been since you've even thought about the church?"

"Father, the church and I parted company long before Blair and I became lovers. There's no place for me there now."

"Are you sure?"

"Father, I might not have killed that scumbag tonight, but I've pulled the trigger when it was necessary. In the eyes of God, I must be a murderer, not to mention whatever He calls fags."

"Is that how you see yourself? A murdering fag?" Father Mykkhal's voice was softly conversational with no indication of judgment.

"It's how I was taught God'd see me." Jim laced his fingers together. "You're about Blair's age."

"He's your lover?"

Jim nodded. "And you seem to be a lot like him in the innocence department. After life knocks you around a bit, you'll lose that."

"Is that what life did to your lover tonight?"

"Yeah, I guess so, and it was my fault."

"Confession time?" The priest asked.

"Just the facts. In the beginning, I got a cop killed, a young cop, Father. And because that guilt was so strong, I balked when my captain asked me to do my job and guard Quinn."

"Quinn? He's the bad guy in this tale?"

"Yeah," Jim mumbled as he stared at the priest, who seemed to have a quirky sense of humor.

"So the captain gave you an order and you refused?"

"Not exactly. He assigned me a task that I was uncomfortable with and then let me slide when he saw I had trouble with it. And rather than give the assignment to another officer, the captain took the duty himself, which got him kidnapped and almost killed. I should have been Quinn's hostage -- not once, but twice."

"But your captain didn't die?" Father Mykkhal probed.

Jim shook his head. "But he could have."

"And your lover?"

"He shouldn't have been at the crime scene at all, but Simon insisted I take Blair along -- someone who could keep my mind off my guilt. Simon cajoled me into taking Blair, and I almost lost them both."

"But they're going to be okay?" Father Mykkhal patted Jim's leg.

"Yeah, but that bullet could have shattered the bone in his leg." Jim closed his eyes, seeing Blair, pale against the hospital sheets.

"Tell me about your lover? Blair, right?"

"Yes, Father, his name is Blair. He moved into my life, turned it upside down and inside out, stole my heart while I wasn't looking -- and the thanks he gets is constant pain and endless dangerous situations."

"Don't you think you're selling him short?" the priest purred and switched his tail.

"Huh?" Jim shook his head, wondering if lack of sleep was affecting his mind.

"I said," Father Mykkhal repeated, "Don't you think you're selling him short?"

"I'm supposed to protect him, and I've failed." Jim rubbed his hands over his face.

"Have you considered that your guide is supposed to protect you and that he does an excellent job?"

"Guide? Father, how --"

Father Mykkhal was gone and a large black panther paced the small chapel.

Jim rubbed his eyes and Father Mykkhal was back.

"What do you know about guides?"

"I know you need that young man in your life, and he knows it. He loves you and he needs to know that you love him."

"I do, and he does."

"When was the last time you told him, or did something that said you're grateful for his place in your life?" Father Mykkhal's

green eyes were as brilliant as emeralds. "You need him a lot more than he needs you."

"But--"

"No buts, detective. Did it ever occur to you that your guide would follow you anywhere, into any danger without thought for his own life or safety? It is his duty, but your guide has carried things a little further. He's in love with you -- much more than just the sex you share."

"Father, I'm tired and I hurt and I'm not in the mood for strange conversations." Jim stood and paced. "What're you trying to tell me?"

"That you and your guide are two halves of the same whole. You're going to have to change the way you think as you go through your life, making room in it for him," the priest said.

"You don't know me, how can you--"

"I know you don't have a cape in your closet, Sentinel, but you do have gifts and you have a guide to help you use them."

"Who are you?"

"I'm Father Mykkhal."

"I must be losing my mind."

"No, you're just discovering your heart. Go to him, be with him. Your life may not be easy, but it will be rewarding."

"I can't go back up there. That nurse will toss me out."

The priest laughed. "Sister Margaret?"

"The mean one."

"I'll speak to her, make her understand how important it is for you to be with your guide." Father Mykkhal stood and patted Jim's shoulder. "I can assure you if that was you in a hospital bed, there would be no one in this world that could make him leave."

Jim considered the statement and realized it was true.

"Go to him," the priest ordered. "He needs you."

Jim shrugged and walked out of the chapel, stopping at the door when he heard a cat purring, but when he turned back all he saw was Father Mykkhal kneeling before the altar.

~~~~~~~~ end chapter one ~~~~~~~~