Dues: When it's convenient

by wendy

Warning: Beware that in this story, Jim and Simon come across as insensitive, knuckle-dragging clods and Blair might as well have a heavenly choir trailing after him. Not exactly canon and a bit overblown, but it's what my muse demanded.

Fandom: Sentinel

Rating: PG-13

Story Type: First times

Pairing: Blair/other

Archive: yes, Lynx's Library- all others please ask

Disclaimer: not mine, no money made

Not beta'd all mistakes are mine

Feedback: pretty please

on to the story......



When it's convenient.....
by Wendy
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Blair glanced again at his watch as he deposited his backpack underneath Jim's unoccupied desk. He could see, through the open blinds on the windows of Captain Banks' office, that the briefing had already started and he knew he was going to catch all kinds of hell for not being here on time. He felt bad but it couldn't be helped. As he was leaving Hargrove Hall, the anthropologist had been just in time to see a student slip on patch of ice and go down, hitting her head on the cement walkway. Acting quickly, the young man had flipped open his cell-phone and called for an ambulance. Waiting with the disoriented young woman until the EMTs arrived had taken precedence over getting to the police station.

Blair edged into Simon's office as quietly as possible. His hopes of sliding, unnoticed, into the vacant chair next to his partner were dashed by the bellow from the front of the room.

"Sandburg, you're late!!! This briefing started twenty minutes ago."

Eight pairs of eyes swung around and pinned the tardy police observer with curious stares.

"Sorry, Simon. I got delayed at the U. You see, there was this girl-"

"Save it, Kid. Troll for coeds on your own time. I expect my people to be punctual!! If we're going to pull this off, we need everyone to work together and act as a team. That includes being on time! Is that clear?"

"Yes, sir. I'm sorry, it won't happen again."

"See that it doesn't." Simon took a deep breath and let it out slowly, rubbing the back of his neck as he did so. "Now that we're *all* here, let's see
what we can do about catching ourselves some counterfeiters."

With that, the large, black man turned back to the whiteboard and continued outlining the plans for the sting operation.

Blair slid into the chair next to Jim and shot an apologetic look at his partner.

"What did I miss?" he asked softly.

Jim's reply was brief, annoyance evident in his tone. "If you had been here on time instead of flirting with some starry-eyed coed, Darwin, you would know."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Simon Banks strode into the bullpen briskly, the grin on his face wide enough to drive a car through.

"Listen up people," he announced. "I have good news."

The noise level dropped and all the detectives waited to hear what their captain had to say. The black man produced an envelope from the inner pocket of his blazer and waved it around excitedly.

"The Commissioner was so pleased with how quickly we apprehended that counterfeiting ring that he got all of us tickets to the Jags game this Friday night. Courtside!!"

There was a round of cheers and everyone surged forward to snag a ticket from Simon who was chomping smugly on his cigar.

Blair bounded out of his seat and followed Jim over to get in line for a ticket. While they waited, he whapped his partner good naturedly on the arm.

"Didja hear that, Jim?" the curly haired observer asked as he bounced on his toes excitedly. "Courtside!! We're gonna be able to practically reach out and touch Orvelle Wallace, man!"

Jim nodded distractedly. "Yeah and they're playing the Lakers so it should be a good game."

The line quickly dwindled until there were only Jim and Blair left. Simon gave Jim his ticket and then his hands were empty. Blair stood there, confused.

"Uh, Simon?"

"Sorry, Sandburg, I guess you were overlooked," Banks said as he turned to head into his office. "The Commissioner only obtained enough tickets for actual members of the task force. Since you're not a cop, your name didn't show up on the roster."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

It was Friday afternoon and the week was winding down. Blair and Jim were reviewing the autopsy report on the Saporito murder when Simon strode into the Bull Pen, a look of annoyance on his dark skinned face.

"Okay folks, listen up. I was just informed that there will be an audit of this department conducted next week and you all know what that means."

The moans and groans from the assembled detectives made it abundantly clear that they knew exactly what that meant. Overtime. Lots of it. It was going to be a late night and a long weekend.

"Yeah, that's right," Simon griped. "We need to go through all of our case paperwork from the last six months and make sure all the i's are dotted and the t's are crossed. I don't want those pencil pushers to find a single thing wrong with how this department does it's job. I requisitioned all the files on all the cases since the last audit and they'll be here in a few minutes. Let's move like we have a purpose, people. Rhonda, order us up some pizza, would you? It looks like it's going to be a long night."

Jim and Blair, along with the other members of Major Crime, spent the next few hours going through case files and making sure that everything was in order.

At 7:30 pm, after several hours of work on case files, Blair sighed and snagged his backpack from under his chair. He patted his partner on the shoulder sympathetically and then pulled on his jacket.

Jim looked up at the anthropologist with a glare. "Where do you think you're going, Chief?"

Blair was apologetic. "I'm sorry, Big Guy. I hate to do this to you but I gotta go. I have a really important-"

"A date, Chief?" Jim interrupted with a derisive snort. " I don't think so. You're my partner, right?"

"Of course..." A date? Who was Jim kidding? Between teaching, police work and the sentinel project, Blair barely had time to get in four or five hours of sleep each night let alone date. Besides, the only person that Blair wanted to date was a buff, repressed, and thoroughly straight police detective with enhanced senses and he couldn't see *that* happening any time soon.

"You're a member of this team, right?" Jim persisted.

"I like to think so. But-"

"Well then, if we have to work tonight, so do you. Just call your flavor-of-the-week and reschedule."

The big detective got up and headed for the break room to get himself another cup of coffee, leaving the grad student standing there, chewing on his lip.

Blair dropped his backpack from numb fingers, slowly shrugged out of his jacket and draped it across the back of his chair. He reached for the phone and quickly dialed. After just a few rings, it was answered by a pleasant female voice.

"Hello?"

"Hi Cheryl, it's me."

"Blair, where are you? Everyone else is already here. I was getting ready to send out a search team for you."

"Look, I'm sorry, but something's come up and I won't be able to make it."

"Damn it, Blair" Cheryl sighed, exasperation clear in her tone. "We both know that University politics can really suck sometimes but it's a necessary evil. If you don't show up to schmooze with Professor Harding and the rest of the board and department heads, you're not gonna get that grant. Harvey Wilkins has been following Harding around all evening, pushing for funding on his stupid dung beetle project. If you don't show, he's going to grab that grant money right out from under you. And you deserve it way more than Harvey does."

"I know, Cheryl, I know." Blair said, dejectedly, as he ran a hand through his sable curls. "But there is just no way I'm going to make it. Give everyone my apologies. I'll just have to try and catch up with Professor Harding next week. I'll plead my case then and have to hope it will be enough."

"But Harding is leaving tomorrow for a three month stint in Egypt, Blair, remember?" Cheryl chided. "It has to be tonight."

The grad student closed his eyes and dropped his head to the paper strewn desk with a small thump. Damn, he had forgotten about that. When he next spoke, his tone was light and revealed none of the disappointment he really felt. "Hey, there'll be other mixers for me to schmooze at and other grants I can apply for. It's not the end of the world."

Blair looked up to see Jim headed back, mission accomplished and steaming mug in hand.

"Gotta go, Cheryl. I'll talk to you on Monday."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Blair trudged slowly into the loft and plunked his backpack down under the coat hooks next to the door. He then closed the door and leaned against it, wearily. Today had been an absolute bear of a day and it wasn't over yet. He had a knapsack full of midterms to grade and post for his Anth 101 class by 10 am tomorrow. On top of that he had promised his friend Molly that he would grade and post hers as well. She had been called out of town unexpectedly by the death of her grandmother and begged Blair to help her out, she didn't want her students to be left in the lurch.

But before he began his marathon grading session Blair was going to need some sort of fortification. He shuffled into the kitchen area and put on a pot of coffee and then began rummaging around in the fridge for the makings of a sandwich.

Before the pot of coffee had even begun to percolate, the door opened and Jim bustled in.

"Hey, Chief, I'm glad you're home. There's been a change in the stakeout rotation. Halloway's wife went into labor so we need to take over for him and Babcock at that drug lab down by the docks. Throw that coffee into a thermos and make me one of those sandwiches, too. We'll go as soon as you're ready."

"Oh Gosh, Jim," Blair shook his head, regretfully. "I wish I could but I promised Molly-"

"Save it, Sandburg," Jim interrupted. "your date with Molly will have to wait until another time. This is a really important case. If we don't nail those drug dealers who knows how much more of that 'Glimmer' crap will get out on the streets. I thought Golden was bad but it's nothing compared to this stuff."

"But Jim-" Blair tried to explain but the police detective was on a roll. When it came to his cases, he became so focused, so single minded, that nothing else seemed to register. Ellison continued on, oblivious to Blair's attempt to speak.

"You're my partner, right?

"Of course, but-"

"I really need you to back me up on this. I might have to do some listening in on conversations or something.." Placing his hands on the smaller man's shoulders, he asked. "You don't want me to zone, do you?"

"Of course not, Jim, but-"

"Well, then let's go." Jim said. "Finish up those sandwiches and don't forget the coffee. I'll be waiting downstairs in the truck."

The door slammed before Blair could open his mouth again. With a growl of frustration, the grad student yanked the thermos out of the cupboard and began filling it with the freshly brewed coffee.

Oh goody. It looked like those mid-terms were going to be graded while he sat shivering in the cold, damp cab of Jim's truck. Blair hoped the batteries in his flashlight were still good because he knew his partner would not allow any interior lights from the truck to be used.

Fun, fun, fun....

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Blair was just getting off the elevator and making his way towards the Bull Pen when he was intercepted by Captain Banks.

"Sandburg," he said. "I need a word with you."

The police captain ushered the observer into the break room and closed the door.

"Hey, Simon, what's up?" Blair tucked a strand of his curly hair behind his ear and smiled brightly up at the tall, black man.

Banks shoved a sheet of paper under the grad student's nose and waved it back and forth.

"Would you care to explain this?"

"Huh?" A little furrow of confusion creased Blair's brow.

"This is the sign up sheet for the Major Crimes softball team. What's your name doing on it?"

"Oh, yeah, that. I thought it sounded cool. Back when I was an undergrad, I played shortstop on Rainier's varsity team. I had a blast. It's been awhile but I think I could still knock a few out of the park."

The anthropologist mimed swinging a baseball bat as he grinned up at Simon, who simply frowned.

"That's all well and good, Sandburg, but you're not actually a member of Major Crimes. If we let you play, the other departments would pitch a fit. We don't want to be accused of favoritism or an unfair advantage. Sorry, kid, the Interdepartmental Softball League is for cops only."

With that, he took a pen and scratched Blair's name off before hanging the sheet back on the bulletin board.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Blair looked at Simon and Jim in disbelief. "Let me get this straight. You want me to go undercover for you? Have you guys already forgotten what happened the last time you asked me to do something like this? Hector Carasco nearly made mincemeat outta me with a machete? And what about that car theft ring? I'm no good at this cloak and dagger stuff."

Jim nodded, his expression serious. "You know we wouldn't ask this of you if it weren't really important, Chief. You fit this guy's profile to a T and we can't risk a civilian."

"Jim, hello?" Blair protested with an aggravated roll of his eyes. "*I'm* a civilian."

"You're my partner, Sandburg and a member of the team." Jim protested.

*Yeah, when it's convenient...* The grad student griped silently, refusing to be placated.

"I really just don't feel comfortable with the idea of you not being there with me, Jim. This guy has raped and beaten four other young men. The most recent one is still the hospital, breathing through a ventilator."

Simon took up the sales pitch at that point. "You know why he can't, Sandburg. As you yourself have pointed out in the past, Jim would stick out like a sore thumb at Club Doom. None of the detectives from Major Crime would get more than 10 feet past the door before being pegged for what they are. I swear, the clientele in that place seem to have some kind of radar when to it comes to sniffing out cops. We simply can't risk jeopardizing the operation by announcing ourselves in that way. "

"Well, what about one of the guys from Vice? It's their job to blend in at a place like that." Blair argued, visions of Lash dancing through his head..

"None of them fit the physical profile," Simon said with a shake of his head.

"You'll be wearing a wire." Jim added in an attempt to persuade his hesitant Guide. "We'll be able to hear everything. I'll be right outside, Chief, and
so will the other members of the team. We really need you on this, Partner."

Blair looked from Jim to Simon and back again, still not convinced. He felt really uncomfortable with the whole idea of putting himself in a serial rapist's sights like this. When his expression remained doubtful, Simon pulled out the big guns.

"Blair, please. Could you live with yourself if you didn't help and someone else got raped by this guy? Our profiler says that he's escalating. What if
next time around, he kills somebody?"

"Damn it, Simon," Blair snapped. "that's not fair!! Don't you dare pull that kind of guilt tripping stunt on me. Do you think I'm that easily manipulated?"

Simon leaned back in his chair, hands up in a surrender position. "No, no, no...of course not. It's just that, well, we're getting desperate here." He
looked at Ellison as if to silently say 'Your turn-Back me up, here.'

Jim took up the tag team effort and used his own version of puppy dog eyes on his partner.

"Chief, I don't get it. You're usually chomping at the bit to do your part. This is a golden opportunity to do some real solid police work and to get a total scumbag off the streets and behind bars. We really need you on this one."

Blair sighed heavily. Feeling pressured and trapped, the grad student fidgeted in his seat and finally got up. He wandered over to the window of Simon's office and stared unseeingly at the Cascade skyline while he chewed on his lower lip. Blair knew from past experience that they would keep this up until he agreed, giving him the 'you're part of the team and we need you' sales pitch because it suited their purpose to do so.

And it wasn't as if he didn't *want* to help, that wasn't the case at all. This rapist was seriously bad news and he needed to be stopped and stopped
quickly. Of course the grad student wanted to do his part, how cold he not? It was just that Blair didn't like being manipulated this way. It seemed like, depending on the situation, he was hearing either 'you're a member of the team' or 'you're not a cop'. He was tired of Jim and Simon flip-flopping on this issue. But, in the end, he supposed a little manipulation would be worth it to get this psycho off the streets. As long as Jim and Simon didn't continue to make a habit of it. It was getting old and something was going to have to give. Since Blair was fairly sure that the two older men weren't even aware they were doing it, maybe he simply needed to call it to their attention. After this serial rapist case was over would be soon enough for that particular conversation.

Sighing deeply, he relented.

"Okay, I'll do it." he turned and gave the two men sitting at the conference table a serious glare. "But I just want to go on record saying I'm not at all comfortable with how far away backup will be. As you guys are always reminding me, I'm not a cop and I don't have a great deal of experience at this sort of thing. I'm gonna be flying solo in there and I'm trusting you guys to keep me safe."

Jim practically bounded out of his chair. He crossed to where Blair stood and placed his hands on the younger man's shoulders. He looked down into Blair's troubled blue eyes and grinned broadly, jubilant that his friend had finally relented.

"Thanks, Partner. We really appreciate it. We won't let anything happen to you, I swear it."

Blair's heart gave a little flutter as he looked up into Jim's sky blue eyes and grateful, smiling face. Jim was at his most handsome when he smiled, really truly smiled. And because smiles like that from Jim happened so seldom, they were a thing to be treasured, savored.

The grad student couldn't say exactly when he had fallen head over heels for his oblivious and totally straight roommate. It seemed to have happened gradually, sneaking up on Blair with all the stealth of ....well...of a panther. And that was the real reason, the irrefutable reason, that Blair had finally agreed to this dangerous scheme to act as bait for a rapist. Because there was nothing that he could deny this man who had stolen his heart.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Blair stumbled into the loft and collapsed onto the sofa with an exhausted sigh. It had been over 36 hours since he had gotten any sleep and he was beyond pooped. The rapist had been apprehended by the task force just as Club Doom was shutting down for the night, about 2am. The tall, handsome blond man he had struck up a conversation with inside the club had fit the somewhat vague description the other victims had been able to give. Even talking to a potential rapist in such a public place as Club Doom had Blair's heart thudding in his chest. The idea of going out into the dark parking lot with his new 'suitor' had made the police observer nauseous. He had been practically hyperventilating by the time the guy, who had given his name as Michael, had made a grab for him, in a shadowy corner of the bottle strewn lot, just a few feet from the Volvo. Things didn't get very far before the task force, led by a fierce looking Jim, had the guy in cuffs and stuffed in a squad car, heading for the station.

Then came the paperwork, the giving of statements and the extradition proceedings. Upon further digging, it had turned out that 'Michael', whose real name was Chad Michael Hilton, was wanted in the state of Florida for four counts of aggravated assault, two counts of rape and one count of murder. Florida was claiming first dibs on prosecuting the bastard and were sending someone out to collect him right away. The Cascade DA had been more than happy to let Florida foot the bill for a lengthy trial and had wiped her hands of Hilton. The sky in the east had been a pearly gray, heralding the dawn, before they had finished up.

Unlike Jim, who had been able to come home for a shower, a quick bite to eat and a few hours sleep before heading back into the station, Blair had gone right from the station, to his 8am class. Getting someone to cover for him had not been an option. The Dean had commented on his poor attendance just the week before and was watching his performance closely.

He was still wearing the black leather pants and blue silk shirt from the night before and the whistles and good-natured catcalls from his students left him blushing furiously. He could feel their eyes on his leather clad butt whenever he turned to write something on the blackboard.

All of the classes he taught during the rest of that interminable day didn't have single student absent or even tardy. In fact, the classes even had a few extra students attending, students that he knew weren't his. 'Just auditing the class' they had chirped, all innocent smiles and bright eyes, when he had inquired about their presence. The number of students who showed up during his office hours to 'discuss their midterm grade' was also at an all time high. Usually, he spent his office hours undisturbed and working on his dis because anyone rarely ever showed up. Apparently word had spread regarding his attire.

The day had finally, mercifully, ended about 5pm and he had headed home, craving a nice dinner-it was Jim's turn to cook- a little tv and then bed. Thank God it was Friday and he could sleep in tomorrow.

But first, a shower, he thought, shaking off the lethargy and struggling to his feet. He felt gritty and dirty and even he could tell that he reeked. Jim would be home soon and with his sensitive nose, the detective would be bitching like a wet cat about being able to smell Blair from the lobby.

On his way past the kitchen island, Blair noticed the red light on the answering machine blinking at him. He hit the button to play the messages: two sales calls and notification from Barnes & Noble that the book he had ordered was in. Just the usual stuff until the last message started to play.

"Hey, Chief, it's me. I know it's my turn to cook but a bunch of the guys invited me out to O'Manion's for drinks. They want to celebrate nabbing Hilton. I'd say you should come on down, too, but I can imagine you're probably tired. Besides, it's sort of a cops only thing. I think there's some leftover Pad Thai in the fridge if you're hungry. Or, if you want, you can use the emergency fund in the cookie jar to order yourself a pizza. Don't wait up."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Jim was whistling cheerily, despite the late hour, as he trotted up the three flights of stairs to the loft. It wasn't every day that you were able to get a murderer and rapist off the street. Pride in a job well done had put a bounce in his step that had lasted all day. Everybody at O'Manions had been pretty stoked about nabbing Hilton, as well, and good time had been had by all. The party had lasted for hours and it was now well past midnight. Which was why he was surprised to find the lights still on and Sandburg still awake. The kid had to be exhausted after everything that had transpired in the last couple of daysand Jim thought for sure he would be sawing some serious lumber way before now. Instead, the curly haired young man was sitting on the sofa, still fully dressed and with a serious and somewhat nervous expression on his face.

"Jim," he said quietly. "I think we need to talk."


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Joel Taggart was putting on a fresh pot of coffee when Jim came into the break room, mug in hand and a scowl on his face. It was the same scowl the detective had been wearing for the last week and a half. Joel also realized that it coincided with the exact amount of time since a certain curly haired anthropologist had last been seen around the station. Taggart missed the presence of the effervescent grad student who held a special place in his heart.

"Hey, Jim," the bomb squad captain greeted the detective with a smile. "the coffee should be ready in a jiffy."

All he received was a grunt in reply as Jim stopped and stood, arms folded, and glared down at the coffee maker, as if doing so would make it work faster. The coffee maker was unimpressed and continued to take it's own sweet time.

Joel decided to grab a little snack to go with his coffee, Twinkies maybe. Nah, something chocolatey would go better with coffee. Hmm, the Susie-Q looked good.


"So how've you been?" he asked over his shoulder as he shoveled change into the vending machine.

Another grunt.

"Haven't seen much of Sandburg lately. Everything okay?"

Ellison's head whipped around and pinned the older man with an icy stare, body tense and rigid. "Why? What have you heard?"

Joel took a startled step back and raised his hands in a warding off gesture. "Nothing at all. That's why I asked. I just noticed that you haven't been your usual....uh....charming self lately and that I hadn't seen Blair around. I may be a member of the Bomb Squad and not an actual detective but I still know how to put two and two together and get four."

Jim's shoulders slumped at Taggart's words and the tension left his muscular frame. He shook his head and moved to pour himself a cup of coffee now that the machine had finished it's brewing process.

"I haven't really talked to Sandburg lately. We had a bit of a misunderstanding the other night and he's been avoiding me ever since. He's spending all his time at the U and not coming home until after I'm in bed. When he is home at the same time I am, which isn't often, he just stays in his room."

Joel frowned. "Jim, that boy thinks the world of you. It sounds like more than just a simple misunderstanding if he's upset enough to be deliberately avoiding you."

"It's really not that big a deal, Joel," Jim shrugged. "I don't understand why he's acting this way, all hurt and mopey He's blowing things way out of proportion."

The heavyset black man sat down at the nearest table and motioned for Jim to join him. "Well, whatever it is, it's obviously a big deal to Blair. Want to tell me about it? It might help to have an another point of view."

Ellison took the chair opposite Taggart and fiddled with his mug as he tried to explain what, at least to him, seemed like unreasonable behavior on the part of his Guide.

"Blair says that Major Crimes, me and Simon especially, take advantage of him and then don't acknowledge his contribution. He's been going on about how he's included and then excluded as we see fit and how it isn't fair."

Joel's eyes had grown distant during Jim's explanation. "Now it makes sense," He mumbled, more to himself than to his companion.

"Now what makes sense?" Jim asked.

"A few months back," Joel said, explained slowly. "I came in to the Bull Pen kind of late and found Blair sitting at your desk, finishing up some of your backlogged paperwork. Everyone else had gone to that Jags game. The ones you got tickets for from the Commissioner after shutting down that counterfeiting operation, remember? "

"Right," Jim confirmed, not seeing where this was going. "And?"

"Considering how hard he worked on that with you and the rest of the team, I was just surprised to find that he didn't get to go to the game, too. Even though he didn't say anything, I could tell he was disappointed."

"The Commissioner didn't send enough tickets," Jim protested.

"So? Simon couldn't have called him and had him send over one more?" Joel countered, getting frustrated with how dense Jim was being. "Or better yet, gotten a hold of Arthur Dell, the owner of the Jags? I know that he and Simon are friends. They go way back. It would have been no big deal to get one more ticket for your friend."

"Blair never said anything." Jim said, bristling. Being confronted with a conversation that was beginning to make him uncomfortable, he went on the offensive. "I figured he didn't care. If it was that big a deal to him, Blair should have just spoken up."

"Think about it, Jim" Joel said, trying to maintain his patience. "After constantly being told he is not a member of the team, he wouldn't think there would be much point. He probably didn't want to make waves. Come to think of it, why didn't you say anything? He's your partner, after all."

"I-I don't know." Ellison stammered, surprised by how upset the usually mild mannered Taggart was getting. "I guess I just wasn't thinking-"

"Well, I suggest you give it a try, Jim" Joel snapped, getting to his feet and heading for the break room door. "You think long and hard about this. You try using that supposedly keen and analytical detective's brain and see just how many other instances like this one you can come up with. I'm willing to bet there are lots of others. Because from what I'm hearing and seeing here, it sounds like Blair has a valid point."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Joel strode down the bustling corridors of Hargrove Hall feeling somewhat out of his element. Being among all these college students with their wild hair, strange clothes and youthful energy was like visiting another planet. It had been many years since he had been a student at Rainier, more than he cared to count, and it made the bomb squad captain feel positively ancient. But his mission here was important so he was willing to cope with feeling a little awkward if it meant seeing Blair.

Taggart really felt the need to check up on the kid. It had been a week since his encounter with Jim in the break room and over two and a half weeks since Blair had made an appearance at the station. During that time, Jim's mood had soured even further, going from simply cranky to surly and downright hostile. It was becoming obvious that nothing had been resolved and somebody needed to make sure that kid was okay, Jim sure wasn't going do it. Besides, Joel was interested in seeing the anthropologist on his own turf.

Locating the door with the handwritten placard taped to it, he rapped on the heavy wood with his knuckles. He received no acknowledgment to his knock but Joel was pretty sure someone was inside. Sandburg was probably engrossed in his work. After debating with himself about disturbing the busy grad student, Taggart opened the door and peeked inside.

The office was everything he imagined it would be. It positively screamed 'Sandburg'. Piles of papers and books, brightly woven wall hangings, tribal masks grinning down from the walls and rows of shelves stacked high with artifacts. Ugh, was that shrunken head Joel saw staring back at him from the top shelf? Shuddering at the idea of cannibals and giant cast iron cooking pots, Taggart set eyes on the room's sole occupant.

Blair looked like crap. The young man was sitting slumped at his desk, typing listlessly at the keyboard of his computer. He was pale with dark circles under his eyes and tightness about his mouth. His shoulder length sable curls were limp, lacking their usual bounce and shine. From the prominence of his cheekbones, it looked like the kid hadn't been eating regularly. Damn, this was bad.

"Hey, Blair" Joel said, softly, voice filled with concern.

The shaggy head looked up and bleary blue eyes blinked slowly at him, as if trying to decipher the simple greeting. After a moment, a small smile appeared.

"Joel, what are you doing here?" The anthropologist's voice was raspy and tinged with fatigue.

The Bomb Squad Captain entered the room and shut the door gently behind him.

"Trying to track down a certain missing in action police observer," he replied with a soft chuckle. "You haven't been down to the station in quite some time and, well, I've missed you. And since the mountain won't come to Mohammed, I figured Mohammed would come to the mountain."

"Yeah...the station," Blair said, the smile disappearing from his face as he swallowed and looked away. "I've been kinda busy...."

Joel moved a stack of periodicals and files off a chair and sat down. "Blair it's okay. I know that you and Jim have been kind of at odds lately-"

"How?" Blair looked up, horror stricken. "How do you know that? Has he said anything?"

The black man was struck by how similar Blair's reaction was to Jim's in regard to his comment about their being at odds. But while Jim's tone had been defensive and suspicious, Blair's was full of concern and despair.

Taggart leaned forward, elbows on his knees. "It doesn't take a detective to see that there's something wrong. You've been a no show down at the station and Jim's been worse than a bear with a sore paw. Did you want to talk about it?"

Sandburg, slumped back in his chair and ran his hands back through his limp curls as he stared up at the ceiling. "It's nothing...."

Joel's heart ached for the younger man. Blair had always been special to him and it made his gut clench to see the kid hurting this way. Maybe it was time to make certain things known, to let Blair know just how special he was to the bomb squad captain, that he was appreciated, that he was important....that he was loved. But first he needed to know the lay of the land.

"All I have to do is look at you to know it's not 'nothing '" Taggart said, softly. "It's obvious that this has you all twisted up in knots. I must confess that I tried to pry the story out of Jim about a week ago. After a little pissing and moaning on his part, I got his version and I can honestly say that I wasn't impressed with his take on things. If you need a shoulder to cry on, I'm here."

Blair looked into the older man's face and saw the sincere concern. It touched him to know that Joel was his friend, too, and not just Jim's. The fact that Joel had taken the time to come looking for him, to check on him, gave him a warm, fuzzy feeling that had long been absent from his daily existence. It would be nice to confide in someone about all of this, to get it off his chest.

"Well, I've been feeling kind of used and abused lately." The police observer began. "Whenever there is grunt work do be done at the station, I'm told I'm part of the team and that I'm expected to pull my weight, to do my part. But when it comes to the lighter side of things there, I'm overlooked or pushed aside, an inconvenience. One minute I'm being treated as if I'm a police officer in my own right and the next, I'm being told I'm not a cop."

Joel frowned. "I know about the basketball game, Blair, Jim mentioned that, but can you give me some other examples?"

Sandburg snorted and rolled his eyes. "Plenty of 'em."

He spent the next few minutes listing incident after incident in which Jim, and Simon, both took what Blair offered and gave nothing back. Joel was ashamed of the treatment that this young man had been dealing with at the hands of these two officers of the law.

"I don't want to come across like I'm whining," Blair finished up. "but this has really been bothering me. It's not as if police work is my real job or that I get paid for what I do there. But I work hard and I feel that I really do contribute. I just wish that they thought so, too."

Taggart got up and went behind the desk to kneel down by Blair's chair, placing one hand on the smaller man's knee.

"You do contribute, Blair, don't ever doubt that. Jim wouldn't have solved half the cases that he has if it weren't for you, your insight. From the instances that you have mentioned, it sounds like you have every right to be upset. I know that you tried talking about this with Jim, can you tell me a little about how he reacted?"

"God, Joel, it was awful," Blair moaned, voice thickening with emotion. "I told him what I saw happening and how it made me feel and he had a fit, said he couldn't understand why I was making such a big deal about it. He claimed that I was being childish and overly sensitive and until I could act like an adult, maybe it would be best if I stayed away from the station. He went on about how I needed a little more perspective."

This comment confused Joel. Jim had made it sound like it was Blair that had been avoiding him by staying at the U until all hours and hiding in his room. Now the grad student was indicating something altogether different.

"Oh, Blair..." Joel wanted desperately to take the grad student into his arms and hug away his hurt. He settled for pulling out his handkerchief and offering it to the kid. Blair took it and blew his nose before continuing.

"What makes it even worse is that its Jim doing this. That the person I love-" Blair stopped, horrified that he had let that slip but Joel didn't seem all that surprised. The bomb squad captain just smiled sadly and nodded, knowingly.

"That the person you love is hurting you this way?"

"Yeah," the curly haired man nodded, wide-eyed with amazement. Had he been that obvious? "How could you tell about my feelings for Jim?"

"I know what unrequited love looks like, Blair" he said gently, realizing that it was finally time to come clean about a few things. "I know how it can make you feel. When you're familiar with it, dealing with it yourself, it's easy to see the same thing in others."

The look in Joel's deep brown eyes, when he gazed at Blair, was full of longing, of love.

Blair, dumbfounded, needed to be sure. "Do you mind....if I ask who?"

"I think you know." The bomb squad captain's expression was solemn.

"Why didn't you ever say anything, Joel? Did you think I would laugh?"

"Of course not, Blair, You're a better person than that. That's one of the things I love about you." Joel explained with a small sigh. "It's because I could see how you felt about Jim. I promised myself that if there was even the remotest chance that you could find happiness with him, I wasn't going to stand in the way."

At this point, Joel took one of Blair's smaller hands in his larger ones and caressed it gently as he continued.

"But I'm thinking that the discussion you had with Jim touched on more that just the shitty treatment you've been getting at the station. Am I right? You told him how you feel, didn't you?"

Blair grimaced as he remembered the unpleasant conversation, what felt like an eternity ago. "Yeah, while we were arguing, it kind of slipped out. To say he was shocked would be a total understatement. Once he recovered, he laughed it off. He said it was just a crush, a case of hero worship gone wrong, and that I needed to go out and find a nice girl and get laid. He said I needed to get it out of my system because he wasn't ever gonna go there, not with me, not with any guy, ever."

Joel's heart clenched in sympathy for Blair's obvious pain. "For him to belittle your feelings and brush aside your love, on top of treating you like shit at the station..." He shook his head in disbelief. "Blair, I'm sorry. He doesn't deserve you."

"I know, Joel. As crazy as he makes me, I can't help feeling the way I feel. We can't help who we love, even if it might not be in our best interest."

Blair's hand was still clasped gently in his larger hands and Joel brought it up to his face and nuzzled it with his cheek before pressing a gentle kiss on the palm. "He can't love you back, Blair, at least not the way you want. But I can, if you'll let me."

"Is that why you decided to clean about how you felt about me?" Blair asked softly, eyes filled with wonder. He was enjoying the contact and gave no thought to pulling his hand away.

"Yes," the police captain explained, adoration in his eyes. "Let me love you the way you deserve to be loved. I would be so good to you, Blair. I know I could make you happy if you would give me the chance. Please say yes."

Blair was flabbergasted. Joel Taggart had confessed to having feelings for him. For him!! Joel was a good man and Blair was flattered beyond all belief. If things were different, he would jump at the chance to be with Joel, he was a good person and a fine police officer: generous, intelligent, loyal, loving and kind. Joel was a great catch.

But there was still Jim and his abilities to think about. The Sentinel was territorial in the extreme, especially in regard to his Guide. He may not want Blair in a romantic way, may find having the kid tagging along inconvenient, but he would also not want anyone else infringing on what he considered his. Jim's attitude towards some of Blair's previous girlfriends had been evidence of that.

Slowly, hoping that Joel would know it wasn't a true rejection, Blair withdrew his hand. "Oh Joel, if only it were that simple. If things were different, I would take you up on your offer in a heartbeat. You're a good man, Joel and I would be happy to be with you. But my relationship with Jim is...complicated."

Joel sighed and tried not to look too disappointed. He had figured that Blair would say no but there was no way he could have kept his feelings to himself any longer. He knew that there was more to Blair being partnered with Jim than anyone knew, except maybe Simon. Whatever it was must be pretty important. Joel would simply have to wait and hope that Blair would change his mind.

"It's okay, Blair. I would be lying if I said I wasn't disappointed but I know that what you and Jim have is special. There's more going on there than meets the eye and I don't mean your song and dance about the thin blue line. Anyone who sees you two work together can see that there is some kind of connection."

When Blair opened his mouth to speak, Joel simply held up his hand and continued.

"I don't expect you to tell me. I'm sure that there is a good reason for keeping it hush-hush and I trust you. I've spoken my peace and I've given you something to think about. Whatever project you have going on with Jim won't last forever and for the time being, I am content to wait. You're worth it, Blair."

Moving slowly, so as not to startle the younger man, Joel leaned in and kissed Blair gently on the lips. He kept it light and soft, unable to keep from tasting this bright spirit who had captured his heart but not wanting to force himself on the grad student.

Pulling back, Joel got slowly to his feet, joints protesting. He had been kneeling next to Blair's chair all this time and he wasn't getting any younger or lighter. Maybe it was time to go on a diet, cut back on all the junk food and lose a little of this weight.

"If you change you mind, Blair, come and see me. In the meantime, I'm you friend and nothing will change that."

With one last caress of the younger man's cheek, he turned and left, leaving a speechless and touched Blair behind.

The grad student sat there, for how long he couldn't say. But eventually he came to a decision. It was time to clear the air with Jim, once and for all. It was obvious that Jim would not, could not return his feelings, at least not in the way Blair had hoped. He needed to go and find out if he and Jim could at least still be friends. Hiding in his office the way he had been wasn't going get things rectified. He needed to go home and talk to his roommate. He realized that things might not go all that well but, as painful as that possibility was, it was better than hiding the way he had been for the past few weeks. It was time to face his fears.

If things did go badly and he and Jim parted ways, he would simply have to deal. He had more than enough information to write his dissertation, the one on closed societies, not the one on sentinels. He had long ago decided that he couldn't safely publish and protect Jim so he had consulted with his advisor and had his topic switched. He had kept that little tidbit from his friend out of fear of being told he was no longer needed. And now, despite his having done so, it looked like his fears were coming to fruition anyway. Jim seemed to have his abilities well in hand and could function perfectly well without his Guide. The fact that the sentinel had been flying solo down at the station without him for the last few weeks was evidence of that. All that was left to determine was if they could still have any kind of a friendship at all.

If it turned out that the friendship was through, Joel, needed him, wanted him....loved him. It was nice to know that there was someone who cared. Maybe someday soon, once the pain of losing Jim faded, they could have something special together. Blair would make sure that the kind, loving, bomb squad captain would know that he was not a consolation prize.

Grabbing his jacket and his backpack, Blair headed for home.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Six months later.....

Simon and Jim were standing in the 'paints & stains' aisle of the local home improvement superstore, debating water based stain vs. oil based, when Simon caught a glimpse of a familiar face. At least, he thought it was someone he knew....

"Oh my God, that's Joel." he blurted.

Jim looked up from the brushes he was inspecting to look around for the heavyset man. "Where?"

Banks pointed to the man standing at the end of the aisle, speaking with a gangly, freckled youth wearing an orange apron.

"That guy there. At least, I think it's him. But that guy is so much thinner than Joel." He shook his head. "I can't be positive."

Jim zeroed in with his enhanced sight. It was definitely Taggart and he had lost weight, a significant amount. The man looked better than he had in the entire time that Jim had known him.

"Yeah, it's him all right," he said, heading down the aisle. "Let's go say hi and find out what he's been up to."

The guy in the orange apron moved on just as they got there. Simon reached out to tap Joel on his shoulder before he could do the same.

"Joel?" Simon's voice was hesitant. Even with Jim's assurance, he wasn't sure that this was actually Taggart. He just looked so different.

The man turned around and, upon seeing the two of them, broke into a broad grin.

"Simon! Jim!" he enthused, reaching out to shake their hands heartily. "Long time, no see. How've you been?"

The detective and his captain took in the man standing before them and couldn't get over the amazing changes. With all that weight off, Taggart looked at least 10 years younger, but it was more than that. His whole demeanor was that of a man who was at ease with himself: peaceful, serene....happy. The guy positively glowed. Simon would have sworn that Joel was either pregnant or in love. And since it was kind of unlikely that he was pregnant, it had to be love. He found himself wondering what lovely lady could produce such amazing changes in a man as obsessed with sweets as Joel Taggart. The guy's love of junk food was legendary.

"Good. We're good," Jim replied, astonishment on his face. "But, man, Joel...you look..." he waved his hand ineffectually in Taggart's direction, unable to articulate.

Joel just grinned and nodded.

"I know," he replied . "It's a bit of a shock. Especially if you haven't seen me for awhile, like you guys."

"Boy, I'll say," Simon remarked. "I guess it has been awhile. We heard that you had retired."

"Yup," Joel answered, not sounding the least bit upset about leaving his career of twenty some odd years. "Disarming bombs is a job better left to younger men with steadier hands."

Jim blinked at that remark. He had to be kidding. "Joel, look at yourself. You could give any rookie a run for his money and I've never seen your hands so much as tremble. You've always been a rock. It's a real shame to lose you and your expertise."

"But you haven't lost me, not really. Didn't you hear? I'm teaching my trade over at the academy. You'll still be benefiting from my expertise, just in a more round about way. I have to admit, I'm pretty excited about the idea of helping to mold and shape the next generation of Cascade's finest."

Simon could definitely see Joel at the academy, he would be a patient and enthusiastic teacher and mentor to the next generation of Cascade cops. They would all benefit from his tutelage, veteran and rookie alike.

"That's just great, Joel," he said with a grin. "I know you'll train 'em up right. How did you land that gig?"

Joel hesitated a moment before answering. "It was Blair's idea. I-I don't know if you've heard but...he and I....we're together now."

"Together?" Simon was confused.

"Yeah, together," Joel replied, unable to keep from breaking out into another grin. "You know, a couple."

When his two companions continued to stand there silent and confused, he rolled his eyes. "We're lovers."

Joel and Blair? Together *that* way?

Jim looked around to see if anyone had heard Taggart's comments. "Joel, are you sure you want to talk about this here? I mean, we're in a public place."

Joel frowned slightly. "Of course. Why wouldn't I? I'm not ashamed of what we have. As you can see, Blair has been a wonderful influence on me. I had decided to retire because I because what Blair and I have is very special. I wanted to be sure that I was around for many years to come. Even though he never said anything, I knew he worried whenever I went out on a call. It wasn't a hard decision really. He was so touched that I would do that for him, told me I was a romantic fool. I want to grow old with him and that's where the academy comes into the picture. I had been sort of at odds about what to do with myself and he suggested that I try teaching. Since he's teaching a seminar there, himself, he put in a good word with the commissioner and the academy commandant. It's nice because it allows us to work together a couple days a week."

Simon and Jim were both stunned. Sandburg? That neo-hippie flower child was teaching in a regimented, structured, para-military place like the academy? The surprises just kept coming.

"What the heck is Sandburg doing teaching at the academy?" Simon's skepticism was evident in his tone. "What exactly is he teaching?"

"He's teaching a class called Law Enforcement & Community. Apparently, the Mayor and the Commissioner both read his dissertation and absolutely loved it. So much so that they offered him a position. He's splitting his time between Rainier and the Academy. Since he got his doctorate, he can pretty much write his own ticket and it makes the university look good to have one of their professors in such demand. I'm so proud of him I could bust."

Jim bristled at Joel's words and Simon grew still.

"His dissertation?" Jim asked, his voice deadly quiet. "The Mayor read his dissertation?"

"Well yeah," Joel beamed. "And the Commissioner, too. After all, it was about their police department and how police in general were a closed society. Of course they were interested. I read it too but a lot of it was sort of beyond me. That kid is so smart, he just leaves me in the dust. Didn't you guys get your copy? I know he sent one to Major Crime for you all to read. It had to be, oh, a month or so ago."

Jim and Simon looked at each other, both thinking about the unopened package that was sitting in the bottom drawer of Jim's desk. It had arrived several weeks ago and, after much deliberation, Jim had stuffed in the bottom drawer of his desk, unopened. The detective had assumed that it was Blair's Sentinel dissertation and that the kid had wanted him to read it and sign off on it. Jim figured that if he never got back to Sandburg with his stamp of approval, then the kid wouldn't be able to publish. Delay tactics that he hadn't been proud of but felt were necessary to maintain his privacy for as long as possible. Yes, he had agreed to this all those years ago but it had been an abstract thing then. When the package had actually shown up on his desk it had been a real reality slap. Now it seemed that those tactics hadn't been required. The kid had switched topics to protect Jim, even after things had ended so badly between them. He felt like a heel.

"Yeah, it came," Jim replied. "It's just with our case load of late, we haven't even had time to breathe. We'll make sure everyone in the Bull Pen reads it soon."

"Terrific, I know that Blair was really anxious that you all read it and like it." Joel glanced at his watch and frowned slightly. "Crap, is that the time? I gotta get going. Blair has been in Chicago for the last few days presenting a paper. His plane is due soon and I promised to pick him up at the airport and treat him to dinner. It was great to say you guys again, don't be strangers."

And with that, the former bomb squad captain trotted off leaving two very quiet and shell shocked detectives behind.

End......