Untitled

By: Kathy

RATING: PG

WARNINGS: None.

SPOILERS: Sentinel Too, Sentinel Too Part 2

AUTHOR'S NOTES: Well, I just joined this list today and decided to get my first dues out of the way. I really haven't written all that many stories, I've just posted a few pieces to SA and SXF.

Anyway, here it is -- my first dues. I'd love to hear what you guys think about it. Although I imagine some people might not like this one. 8-)

"Untitled"

by Kathy

I walk onto the beach and I see them there. Kneeling, kissing, caressing. For a second, my heart stops and I can't breathe. My mind refuses to grasp the scene before me. Then the picture sharpens and I see every detail. Nothing escapes my notice. I see the way he is holding her, cradling her. With such gentleness, such tenderness. It seems as if he cherishes her. Her. The woman who killed me. Suddenly, pain grips my heart. I feel so cold, so empty.

Then they turn to look at me. Two sets of eyes, so alike yet so different. They both stare, taking in every aspect of me. How do they see me? Friend, enemy, partner, betrayer?

I stand there torn. Do I leave, let them finish what they have started? But the thought of them together, of him loving her, sickens me. And for a moment, I am filled with such an overwhelming sense of rage. Not at Alex. Not at the woman who killed me, but at him. My partner, my friend, my love. He dared to accuse me of betrayal? Nothing I have ever done compares to what I see before me. He is the one who has committed the ultimate act of betrayal. Running from me and our connection. Running straight into her arms.

Just as I decide to turn and leave, I see her reach for his gun. He does nothing to stop her as she pulls it and points it at me. He does NOTHING. I stand there waiting to hear the shot, to feel the pain as the bullet enters by body. There's a part of me that wishes for it. That longs for it. I remember the numbing, surprisingly peaceful embrace of death. I fought it before. But now, I think I would welcome it. Anything to stop this pain that I am experiencing now. This all-consuming, gut wrenching pain of seeing them together.

Then, I see him move. He slowly reaches up his hand and lays it on top of hers. Gently, he lowers her hand. I see his mouth move as he talks to her, but I am unable to hear what he says. Alex gets up then and she runs away. He lets her. Lets my murderer escape, staring after her with a look of longing, of aching desire. In that instance my soul shatters.

He comes to me then. Not to apologize, never that. He wants answers. That's all he ever wants from me. I look at him, the man that I love, and once again I push my feelings aside. Right now, he needs me. Even as we start to walk along the beach, I try to convince myself that it's enough. As long as he needs me, I can live without his love.

Suddenly, the next breeze blows, carrying with it a haunting sound. I shiver as I hear the wounded howl of the wolf.

The End