Into You I fall.

By Ihket

Rating: NC-17 Violence, language, and sexual situations.

Pairing: J/B (A first time story)

Warnings: Angst, owies, and comfort. Typical Ihket fare. INTENSE in parts!!! Bubba has embraced the dark side! This has not been beta’d and you have been warned!

Summary: A serial killer leaves a trail of gruesome corpses around Cascade. It's up to Jim and Blair to stop him before one or both of them become the next victim. Along the way secrets are revealed that could change their partnership forever.

Archive: Yes. Where ever you want to just let me know where it’s going.

Disclaimer: No matter how much I beg, no matter how much I plead they still have not landed gift wrapped on my doorstep. Bummer. Don’t sue, I work overtime for no one.

This will be PIP’d so be warned.

WARNING CONTAINS GRAPHIC VIOLENCE. IF YOU ARE SENSITIVE TO SUCH THINGS SKIP THE FIRST FEW PARAGRAPHS!!!!!!

Into You I fall.
By Ihket

Rage.

He watched the young man closely, finding the grace of his movements, the beauty in his eyes fuel to ignite his rage. The man had no right to be so wonderful, he had no right to be so well loved, he had no right to joy and laughter. None of them did and he would wipe their smiling beautiful faces from his world. When he was through no one would bear to look at their bodies. He would make them masterpieces of deformity, just like him they would become a brother of the grotesque.

The muscles in the stranger’s lips twitched into a crude snarl as he followed the young man through the shadows and down the path through the trees. He knew when the time was right, he would not be seen nor heard and in the space of a heartbeat he struck. His victim’s life was over before he was aware of the knife slicing through his throat and into his spine.

The murderer was bathed in his victim’s blood and a raspy howl of pleasure burst from his mouth as he lay atop the twitching form of the dead man. His own fluid mingling with the blood soaking through his trousers. He lay in ecstasy for long minutes until his physical need was sated. He rose to his knees and lovingly licked the blood from his knife, now he would leave his mark. Leaving behind none of the beauty that only minutes ago had been alive, vibrant and shining. He began to carve away the flesh around the man’s eyes, nose and mouth exposing the muscle beneath. He cut away the lips and filled the hole of his mouth with sticks and leaves. Dug out the eyes and filled the empty sockets with dirt. He carved out violent angles and crude pictures in the man’s torso. Hours later he was finished and he slipped away into the darkness carrying his only trophy with him. He had added another heart to his collection.

*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*

The call came in at Five forty A.M. Jim Ellison was not a happy detective. He had only crawled into bed an hour before after an all night stakeout, which his partner had conveniently slept through. Wasn’t Sandburg supposed to be his back up? He couldn’t bring himself to be terribly upset at the younger man, he knew Blair had not been sleeping well lately. The last case had been brutal on both men and instead of a much-needed break from the mayhem that was Cascade they were thrust into a drug case. A new designer drug was leaving bodies all over an affluent part of town. This was the last case Jim wanted but it was the one he got.

He reached over and groped for the phone stubbornly refusing to open his eyes. He picked up the receiver. "Ellison!" he growled.

"Jim. I know you just got home but we have a murder." Simon’s voice was mixed with static from his cell phone.

"Tell me there is someone else who can take this." Jim rubbed wearily at his eyes.

"Jim I really need you on this." Simon paused. "It’s bad, a mutilation. Jesus I’ve never seen anything like this before."

The Sentinel found himself fully awake at the apparent distress in his captain’s voice. "Where?"

"Andowah State park." The Captain replied. "Jim leave the kid at home. I have twenty year veterans here loosing their stomachs."

"All right I’ll be there in a half hour." Jim hung up the phone and levered himself out of bed. He threw on Jeans and a Tee shirt and trudged down the stairs. He was not surprised to see Blair at the bottom waiting for him.

"What is it?" The younger man asked.

"Murder." Jim shuffled over to the coffeepot.

"Gimme a couple minutes and I’ll-."

The detective held up his hand. "You don’t want to come on this one Chief."

Something in the tone of his sentinel’s voice spoke more than the words ever could. "Bad?"

"Simon said he’s never seen anything like it, and men are getting ill at the scene. Sit this one out, okay?" Jim met his partner’s gaze evenly and was surprised to see no defiance there. No argument, just acceptance that he would be staying behind. Trust and Jim was startled at the sudden change in script. Then he noted the weariness in the other man’s face, the dark circles ringing his red rimmed eyes and he couldn’t help the small smile now on his lips. Blair did have a sense of self-preservation after all.

"What?" Blair asked giving his partner a perplexed look.

"You didn’t argue." Jim said quietly.

Blair smiled back. "I trust your judgement here man, I trust you. You say I shouldn’t go, fine I’ll stay here. I trust you but I want you to trust me as well. You need my help I want you to call I’ll be there, I don’t care how bad it is. You call me if you need help."

"You have my word, Chief."

"Good now get outta here before the dead guy gets tired of waiting for you!"

"That was really bad Chief." Jim shook his head. "Tasteless!"

Blair grinned at him. "Yeah I know. Now move it!"

The Sentinel closed the door behind him and jogged down the stairs. He knew his partners cavalier attitude was all show, but Blair had learned the hard way about taking the job too seriously. It was something most cops did, lighten the mood before facing the worst society had to offer. Blair wasn’t a cop. Jim sighed heavily, it was a lesson the younger man should have never had to learn. He glanced up at the balcony of their home one more time before climbing into the truck and driving to the scene. It felt wrong not to have Sandburg by his side, something was missing. Jim had noticed the feeling early in their relationship, whenever his guide was not near him, a part of him was missing. The feeling had grown stronger especially during the previous few months, he needed to be near Blair. He needed to have him close, to touch him, smell him, see him and hear the beat of his heart. Jim Ellison knew what he was feeling and it scared him. The Sentinel knew he had fallen in love with his guide. He had no idea how Blair would react to such a revelation. He had few secrets from the younger man but his sexuality had remained one of those he had managed to keep. He couldn’t keep his feelings a secret for much longer, the love he felt for his partner was deeper and stronger than any he had ever known. The moment of truth was at hand and soon there would be no more secrets.

Chapter Two.

Jim arrived at the scene twenty minutes later, pushing past several green-faced patrolmen on his way down the path to a dense copse of trees. Nothing could have prepared him for the sight greeting him as he closed in on the scene. He had instinctively dialed down his sense of smell when he had arrived at the park, but even that was not enough. The smell of blood, vomit and human excrement was heavy in the air.

The body of the victim was barely recognizable as human. Almost all the flesh and muscle had been carved away from the victims face. The man had been scalped and that now rested over the man’s genitals. His arms and legs had been flayed to the bone and blood saturated the ground around the body. Jim had never seen a more brutal mutilation. It had to have taken hours to get the body into such a condition, but the sick feeling in his gut told Jim the killer had done his work and slipped away unnoticed.

"Jesus." He swore.

"There was no God Christian or other involved in this one Jim." Dan Wolf stood beside him.

The detective nodded, scrubbing a hand over his face. "So what do you have so far?" He asked, the strain in his voice surprising him.

"Not a lot. I’m guessing the time of death to be about ten-thirty last night. The cause of death is a little difficult to determine, but I strongly suspect his throat was slit first. You can see the spray patterns on the trees here." He pointed to the trees to his right. "I doubt very much the victim was alive while the killer was carving him up."

Jim stepped closer to the body and opened up his sense of smell slowly. Even being cautious the intensity of the odors were near enough to knock him off his feet. He was sickened when he detected the scent of male arousal. "Sick sonofabitch!" he cursed.

"Did you find something?" The pathologist asked.

"Check the body for semen samples." He replied offering no further explanations. "Where is Captain Banks."

"Down the path a ways. They found clothing further away, whether it’s the victims or killers we don’t know. He’s supervising." Dan arched his eyebrow at the detective.

Jim caught the meaning. "Hell if I had the choice, I’d supervise too. Thanks Dan, let me know what you find." Jim headed down the path to find his captain.

Simon Banks caught sight of his best detective as the younger man cleared the tree line and waved him over. "What did you find, anything?" he asked as they walked away from the scene.

Jim shook his head. "Not much Simon. I think Dan will find traces of semen on the body. Maybe enough to get a DNA sample. There was just too much to filter out. God What a mess!"

"No kidding Jim." Simon shook his head.

"We need to get this guy before it happens again." Jim fixed his captain with a determined stare.

"I know Jim." The Captain removed his glasses and rubbed the bridge of his nose. "We’ve got a serial killer on our hands."

"There is no way we’re going to keep this out of the media, you know that right?" Jim sighed.

Simon nodded. "I know… What a fucking nightmare." He looked at his weary detective. "Go home Jim, there is not a lot anyone can do here right now. Get some sleep I want you back at the station by noon. I’ll have Rafe and Brown take statements from the people that found the body. This case is yours and I need you and Sandburg functioning on all cylinders when you come in."

"Yes sir." Jim nodded at his captain and headed for the truck. He looked up at the rapidly lightening sky and wondered if they were ever going to get a break.

Chapter Three.

As much as he tried Blair could not fall back to sleep after his roommate left. His mind simply would not quiet and he tossed restlessly upon his small futon for a half-hour before finally giving up the endeavor all together.

A sense of dread had settled over the young man and he was unable to shake the images assailing his mind. Horrific visions of his best friend, partner, the man he loved brutally murdered. This fear was not foreign to him but the images were. Pictures flashed in his mind so brutal and grotesque they threatened to make him ill.

A chill swept through him and he felt an ominous presence sweep past him. A stranger’s mind assaulted his and the hatred and loathing took his breath from him. A maelstrom of anger, rage and perversion sent his psyche spiraling out of control as the alien experience increased in intensity. His vision darkened and walls around him shook and screamed, blood seeped down the steps leading from Jim’s bedroom and Blair was drawn to it. Slowly he climbed each step a voice beside him, mocking as it told him what he loved was no longer his. The voice had taken Jim, but left him something in return.

Blair closed his eyes as he crested the stairs, but still he saw the gruesome gift that had been left for him. Jim, or what used to be him on the bed. No eyes to see with, no fingers to touch with, nor nose to smell or tongue to taste and no ears with which to hear his guide scream, and scream he did. His throat opened up giving voice to the horror he felt as the body on the bed rose and turned toward him, lifting and pointing a bloody stump of a hand in accusation.

In perfect synchronicity the body took a step forward as Blair too a step back into nothingness his scream being cut off abruptly as his body and head connected with the hard wood of the steps as he tumbled helplessly downward.

Jim had just entered the building when he heard his partner’s first cry. The terror held within the sound propelled him up the stairs to the third floor. His hearing picked up the frantic heartbeat beneath the screams and he listened for an intruder but he only could detect the triphammering rhythm of his guide’s heart. He unlocked the door and burst in to the loft in time to see Blair tumble headfirst down the stairs.

Jim was at his guide’s side in an instant. The younger man was still conscious and crying out as much in pain as fear as he tried to claw his way down the hall.

"Blair!" he held the younger man trying to still his frantic, uncoordinated efforts to escape. "Blair!" he yelled sharply again and his partner stilled in his arms. "Easy buddy I’ve got you." Blair turned wide dilated eyes toward him and lifted a shaky hand to trace along his mouth and eyes. Jim watched as fear gave way to relief and then went back again.

"Jim, help me. I’m losing my mind."

With a strangled sob his guide went completely limp in his arms. Jim pulled out his cell and dialed 911. Balancing the phone between his shoulder and neck he began to assess his guide for further injuries. He could feel the heat of bruises coming out all over his partner’s body. Judging from the swelling he could see, Blair had a badly sprained or broken ankle. He gave the necessary information to the dispatcher and ended the call. He gently set Blair on his back and rose to grab the afghan off the back of the sofa. He covered the younger man and waited for the ambulance to arrive all the while uttering quiet assurances and endearments to his unconscious partner. "Whatever it is we’ll figure it out and you’ll be all right. You have to be okay."

Chapter Four.

Jim paced the waiting room of Cascade General’s ER. He was weary to his bones and frightened. He was not a man who admitted fear easily but if anyone asked about his current state of mind he would have to reply "scared shitless." That was the long and the short of it. His partner, his guide was hurt and he didn’t know what had happened. He only saw the fear in the younger man’s eyes. It was more than fear more even than terror. What he had seen in Blair’s eyes defied explanation.

"Help me Jim." The words echoed through his mind, the genuine desperation in the voice of the man he loved and respected sent shards of pain slicing through his heart. "I’m loosing my mind." Jim closed his eyes and fought off the memory, denying its existence. It faded only to be replaced by the sound of Blair’s scream, horror filled, ripping through his head, the sound of someone who’d had his life torn from him. He’d heard that sound before in others, though coming from his Guide it left him frantic to find the reason for such pain.

What had the young man seen? It was a question only Blair could answer and Jim dreaded finding out what demon had caused his collapse.

"Detective Ellison?" An older woman called to him.

Jim crossed the distance between them in two long strides. "How is he?" No amount of self-control kept the strained desperation out of his voice.

"He will be fine." The Doctor smiled. "Have a seat with me." She gently took Jim’s arm and led him to a couple of empty chairs. "He’s very lucky, he could have been much more seriously injured. As it is he does have a concussion that will bear watching overnight, so we’re going to keep him. He’s badly sprained his left ankle and knee, he also has several cracked ribs. That’s the worst of it, however he’s very deeply bruised several areas along his back and shoulders and that’s probably going to be causing him a great deal of pain during the next several days." She paused a moment which for Jim was a moment too long as he gauged her expression of concern.

"What? What aren’t you telling me?" His instincts were still screaming at him that there was something desperately wrong with his guide.

"Detective it concerns me that Blair has not regained consciousness, yet he seems to be quite distressed. With the blow to the head he took I am not overly worried at this point. Things can get a bit scrambled and he could be just taking his time." She explained.

"I need to see him." Jim stated firmly. He was in no mood to argue about policy. Blair needed him and he needed his guide.

"I think that’s a very good idea." The doctor smiled at the look of surprise that crossed the Detective’s face. "I know about you and I think maybe if you’re there and talking to him he’ll settle down and rest easier. He may even decide to join us for a bit. I’ll show you to his room."

Jim paused at the door to Blair’s room, anxiety swept through him and he was at a loss to explain it. The stress he was feeling had nothing to do with what had happened to the younger man. It only took a moment for Jim to put his finger on the source of his fear. Life was finite and he still hadn’t told Blair the true nature of his feelings. The Sentinel no longer had the luxury of time, or his fear of what Blair’s reaction would be, he felt an overpowering need to be with his guide, his partner, he needed to love him in every way a person could be loved. He had been with men before, he had even loved some of them but not one of them came close to inciting the depth of emotion, love and commitment that he had for Blair. In his heart he finally realized he had nothing to fear, Blair would never reject him. He may not want to have a sexual, romantic relationship but his guide would never turn his back on him. If Blair didn’t love Jim as a lover would, Jim would cross that bridge when and if he come to it. He pushed open the door to Blair’s room prepared to face whatever the future held for both of them.

The first thing Jim became aware of was the younger man’s distress. He knew his guide was sleeping but he was not at rest. Blair’s face was a mask of pain and fear, his breathing was harsh and his chest hitched with unvoiced sobs. Whatever nightmare had assaulted his partner at the loft still had Blair in an unforgiving hold.

Jim sat next to Blair’s bed and gently stroked back his hair, rubbing his thumb lightly over his guide’s forehead to smooth out the lines of stress that had taken up residence there. His partner turned into the touch and Jim was rewarded with a lessening of the tension with in his guide. "It’s okay Babe." Jim whispered. "Everything is okay now." The body beneath his hand went rigid and with a gasp Blair’s eyes flew open and his hand shot out, gripping Jim’s arm with surprising and painful strength.

"No!" Blair shouted. "He’ll take you, everything that is you!" He looked up at the man by his side with wide anguished eyes. "I saw, *He* showed me what he was going to do! It was my fault, I couldn’t stop him and YOU knew! You knew I failed you!"

Alarms went off inside the Sentinel as his partners voice rose in volume and pitch and the younger man struggled to get up, seemingly oblivious to the pain he should be in. He needed to hold him close, to shield him from the horror in his mind, he needed to heal him. Jim shifted his hold on his guide and wrapped his arms around the struggling form, pulling him close and he held on. Instinct told the Sentinel that his Guide was becoming fully realized an ancient and untapped power had been released within him. Conscious thought no longer controlled his actions. His motivation was no longer that of a man, but of a Sentinel protecting his lifeline, guide and soul as his power awakened from its sleep. Words not his own slipped from his mouth only to be heard by his guide, an explanation in an ancient tongue. Blair had ceased his struggles but the tale of his vision tumbled forth in a torrent of words raw with anguish, the Sentinel heard and Jim Ellison understood and was afraid.

Blair stopped suddenly, his mind snapped back from the memory of his experience and he realized Jim was speaking. He also realized that Jim was holding him very close, but it was the speaking that Blair found most troubling and perversely comforting. He shouldn’t have been able to understand, but he did, all of it, every word. Suddenly his thoughts on the matter ceased as an instinctive force asserted its self over his conscious mind and he answered his Sentinel’s query as a Guide. "Joea im takel Enqueri. *I am safe Enqueri*"

The Sentinel let out a long breath and pulled away only far enough to look into the face of his guide sharp blue eyes studied the face of the man in his arms, the Guide given to his care, satisfied that his Guide’s claim was truth he smiled. "Joea im tousal Sotura. *I am happy Sotura.*" He pulled his guide close to him once more and sighed, feeling the life vibrating against his body and taking the man into each of his senses.

Innumerable minutes later awareness crawled back to Jim, he remembered the whole exchange, everything that had been said, everything he had felt and everything he had heard. There was rightness about what had transpired between them in the room that left Jim feeling comforted and alive. His anxiety came solely from Blair’s recounting of his vision. What the younger man had seen was too close to the grisly murder scene Jim had just come from. He knew that what his guide had experienced was a vision and it looked like Jim was going for a swim into the mystic after all. This time though he was willing, he would follow Blair into hell if he had to. Grimly he realized that wasn’t entirely out of the question.

"Jim?"

The Sentinel realized exactly how close he was holding the younger man and felt a slight flush of embarrassment. "Am I hurting you?" he asked shifting to lay Blair back onto the bed.

"No!" Blair said a little too vehemently. "It’s uh good um comfortable." He stammered. "Could you uh I mean for um a little uh while." Blair huffed out of frustration, being tongue-tied was not what he needed. "Just don’t put me down please." He finally managed while mentally kicking himself for being so obvious.

Jim smiled. "Anything you need babe." He leaned forward and gently kissed Blair’s forehead. He heard his partners heart race at the contact and inwardly flinched. He was making Blair uncomfortable, he knew it.

"Jim you kissed me." Blair said with no small amount of surprise.

"I know. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean-." He stumbled over his words.

Blair looked into the face of his best friend and he was confused by what he saw there. Jim looked guilty, he looked like a kid who had just been caught doing something wrong. Blair’s eyes widened with realization. "Jim you kissed me." He said again as puzzle pieces began to fall into place. "It’s okay." He smiled as he leaned into Jim’s shoulder. "You can do it again if you want."

"I love you." Jim whispered as he rubbed his partners back gently.

"I love you too. Always have." Blair sighed as he felt the tug of sleep weighing on him. "Thank you."

"For what Chief?" Jim asked keeping up his ministrations.

"This." His reply could only be heard by Sentinel ears as he finally slipped into the comfort of sleep, knowing he was safe in the arms of the man that loved him.

Chapter Five

One week had passed. Seven days since the gruesome murder, seven days since he had watched his guide fall down the stairs, seven days since he had held the terrified man as a new facet of his being emerged, seven days since they had said I love you. It had been a difficult week for both men. Blair continued to have violent and terrifying nightmares about the murder, Jim had no leads to follow in his investigation and he felt useless to comfort his guide when the terrors came, so intense were his dreams that he writhed in his bed and cried out in fear and pain. Jim held him, it was all he could do.

This night was no different and Jim screamed silently at the demon keeping his cherished from rest. It had to end, there had to be something he could do, some way he could reach the man he loved so dearly. He had to find a way to fight the agony and terror that assaulted his love in the night.

There had been a change within him when he held Blair in the hospital as the full extent of his power as a Shaman Guide was realized. Jim had finally taken the trip with him, had finally grasped the true nature of the mystical that surrounded them. He had learned what Blair had known all along, there was much more to them then sense and control. As a unit they were a part of both the tangible and spirit plane and because of that they were capable of much that man would not accept. He realized the impact that was having on the younger man as he struggled with nightmares sent to him in the night, he had no control, no way tocensure or dampen the images that came to him. Blair was newly born and Jim had left him adrift in a sea of torment. Sudden understanding flooded him and he knew what he had to do.

Jim let go of his rational world, he closed his eyes and concentrated on the sounds of his guide. He dropped away from reality falling into blackness and embraced the plane where the horror lived.

The first sensation he became aware of was pain, intense emotional agony and it ripped through his very soul. His world lightened grey, fog surrounded him, enveloped him and permeated his body. He was trapped in it, invisible strands of anguish harnessing him in place. He called out but death had captured his voice. He could do nothing and there was no thought. Only feeling, he felt the suffering of thousands, each wound a drop of blood blistering on his skin. Every wrong, every death, every torture visited him in long agonizing moments. Each one he witnessed with stunning clarity and he was being devoured by it.

His souls scream was lost among the suffering that dwelled in this place.

Another touch, one that did not hurt him, one that was full of love for him, one that could lead him away from all of the pain and back to the warmth of his home, of his life. A hand on his face, a familiar voice, guiding, commanding him to come back. A soft kiss to his seared skin, a tender caress to his battered soul, a single tear falling on his palsied hand and the grey was replaced by the stunning ocean of blue that were his eyes. A face swam before him, one that he so loved and had traveled far to find, the face of his guide, concerned, relieved, thankful and loving. His voice whispering music among the noise of suffering and Jim found his own voice again, alive, vibrating. "I have come to take you home."

The smile Blair favored him with pushed the last of the agony from their space and it was just the two of them, no terror to interrupt them, no night demon’s to haunt them. They were alone and whole together. Blair fell into his waiting arms a small sigh escaping him as he sought the comfort of his Sentinel and the world around them faded once more.

Jim came awake slowly, the experience faded in the fog of his mind. He looked at the figure of his love huddled against him and smiled. The mask of fear was gone from his face, for the first time in seven long days his guide was at peace in his sleep.

The Sentinel settled back against his pillow content to let the younger man sleep as long as he needed. He felt the man beside him shift and turn to face him, blue eyes opening briefly to lock on him and a smile that spoke more to Jim than words ever could. "I love you too, Chief." Blair’s eyes slid closed and The Sentinel listened to his slow even breaths, the steady beat of his heart, he listened to his very soul and rejoiced that it was secure.

END PART 6

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