Title: Misconceptions

Author: Ami

Pairing: J/B

Rating: PG-13

Warnings: None, really, though this is probably the most angsty thing I've ever written. There *is* a happy ending, though.

Notes: This is actually the first installment in my series 'Comfort Is A Four-Letter Word'. All the fics will be stand-alones, but they'll start pretty much the same way -- with one of the guys crying. So far I only have one other fic started, and it also has Blair crying, but I've been busy, so hopefully I'll get a few more ideas.

Comfort Is A Four-Letter Word 1: Misconceptions
by Ami

Jim slowed as he entered the loft. He placed his keys in the basket gently and closed the door quietly, not wanting to disturb his partner. His partner, who was sitting on the couch, wrapped up in an afghan, and crying his eyes out. Oh, they were silent tears to be sure, but the expression on his face, his features twisted in a rictus of inner pain, made Jim's Blessed Protector instincts cry out.

Jim walked on silent cat feet over to the sofa, and settled soundlessly on the cushion by his friend's side, wrapping an arm around Blair's shoulders. He cuddled his Guide to his side, wrapping Blair up in his warm embrace.

Blair's sobs slowed as he realized who was holding him, but they started up again in earnest once he saw Jim's eyes. The emotions there radiated peace and love, an acceptance of his need to cry, and a wish to comfort him while he did. So he gave in, let it *all* out. Whereas before he had tried to restrain his sobs, now he knew he could let go, because his Sentinel was here to watch over him.

Blair cried out his hurt for long minutes, and finally released a soft, stuttering breath half an hour later. He wiped his eyes with his hands and silently accepted the handful of tissues Jim handed him and blew his nose, wiping the salty tears from his face.

"Hey, you better now?" Jim asked, knowing that asking if Blair was 'okay' would be redundant, as he was clearly *not* okay, or he wouldn't have been crying.

Blair gave Jim a watery smile that faded almost instantly. "Yeah, now that you're here." He sniffled.

"You want to talk about it?" Jim coaxed.

Blair was quiet for a moment, then nodded. "Yeah, guess I'd better." He pulled the afghan closer around him and snuggled into Jim's side, his head on the detective's shoulder.

*Most likely so he doesn't have to look at me,* Jim thought, understanding how vulnerable his friend must feel and willing to give his Guide what he needed. He remained quiet as his friend started to talk.

"You know I've been dating Jennie, right?" Blair asked, not waiting for an answer before continuing. "Well, we've been getting serious and today she asked me back to her place. We got there, and this guy, who I thought was her *ex*-boyfriend is sitting on the couch in his boxer shorts, hard as a rock. I asked Jennie what was going on, and she said that she and Dirk -- the boyfriend -- had planned this whole thing, making me think Dirk had been dumped, and her dating me, because they both wanted a threesome with me." Anger colored his cheeks and his words. "I was outraged, of course, and I told them that, and that I never did threesomes. Then *she* was the one who was outraged, because apparently they were under the impression that I'd, what were her words? 'Screw anything once', I believe she said."

Sniffling again, a few tears trailed down his cheek as he asked, "Why did she think that? Why does *everyone* seem to think that I'll sleep with anything breathing?" Looking up at his partner, Blair beseeched, "Why, Jim?"

Jim winced, remembering that 'table leg' remark he'd made way back when. "I think it's just that you're a very open person, willing to try new experiences, and people who don't know you that well see that as you being easy," he said softly, stroking Blair's hair.

Pulling a few tissues from the box on the table, Blair blew his nose and wiped his eyes. Wadding the Kleenex up, he looked at Jim and asked, "Do you see me that way?" His eyes begged Jim to say 'No'.

Jim shook his head, giving Blair the answer he craved. "No. I think you're a very friendly person, who is interested in new experiences, but that you also keep your private life private, and don't like the intimate details of your relationships spread around. Jennie wasn't good enough for you, plain and simple. Even if she was interested in a threesome, deceiving you was not the way to go about asking you."

Taking a shuddering breath, Blair asked in a small voice, "When am I gonna find someone who'll see the real me? Sure, I date a lot, but one date does not a night of passion make."

Cuddling his partner close to his chest, Jim tried to come up with something to remove the hurt from his Guide's face. Finally he said, "Well, *I* see the real you." He blanched, realizing what he'd revealed and hoping Blair wouldn't catch onto his deeper feelings. For months now his feelings for his partner had been growing. At first it was a just a light attraction, but slowly that
had grown to something more -- love.

"You do?" Blair turned a surprised look his way.

Jim nodded and took a deep breath, resigned to exposing at least *some* of his feelings for his partner. "Yeah, I do, Chief. You're smart, smarter than you let anybody know -- I've seen your IQ scores, and you could give Einstein a run for his money. You're friendly with almost everyone, but you have few close friends because you find it hard to let anyone that close. As long as you keep them at a distance, they can't hurt you. You act like it doesn't bother not to know who your father is, but it does. And while the guys at the station think you sleep with everyone you date, the truth is, you're very selective, which is why Jennie hurt you so much -- because you thought you could trust her, and it turned out you were wrong."

Blair's surprised look had turned to shock at Jim's correct pronouncements. "God, I don't think anyone's ever figured all of that out..." he whispered. "One or two of them, maybe, but never all of them. How did you figure all that out?" he questioned, his tears drying up in the face of his curiosity.

Jim shrugged nonchalantly. "It's just...observations, Chief. You observe me, so I thought it only fair that I observe you." He grinned.

Blair laughed softly, then sobered. He started fiddling with the hem of his shirt. "So...it's not that you...*like* me...or anything." There was a scared look in his eyes, as if he was afraid that Jim would say no...or that he would say yes.

Jim started. He'd never expected Blair to feel the same way he did. "I...I do...*like* you, Chief," he said, putting the same emphasis on the verb as his partner had. "I just...wasn't sure you *liked* me."

Blair grinned softly. "Oh, I do, Big Guy, I do." He tilted his face up hesitantly, as if for a kiss. Jim leaned down and brushed Blair's lips with his own. They kissed slowly, for long minutes, more connection than passion in their lips

Blair moaned quietly as Jim finally pulled back, the bright light of love in his blue eyes. "Are you sure you want this, Chief?" he asked.

Nodding ever-so-slightly, Blair said, "I'm sure, Jim. More sure than I've ever been about anything." He curled up next to Jim, relishing the warmth of his partner's body. "But for now..." he interrupted himself with a yawn. "I need a nap. All that crying wore me out. Rain check?" He gave Jim a questioning look.

Jim smiled as pulled the afghan around his love. "No problem, Chief. You rest, and I'll keep watch."

Blair cuddled into Jim, using his chest for a pillow. His breathing deepened and evened out as he fell asleep, a small smile gracing his lips. Jim looked fondly down at his Guide, knowing they had all the time in the world to work out their relationship -- and this time, there wouldn't be any misconceptions.

end