Comfort

By Corinna

Disclaimer: Am not making any money from this and don't own the characters.

Comfort
By Corinna

"Look, Casey, just because I had to cancel the last two times doesn't mean I'm not showing up tonight." Wet hair tangled across his damp face. Blair tried to juggle the cell phone, his backpack, and fish out his keys at the same time. His fingers were so cold it was hard to get the right key out. "Yeah. Yeah... I know." Blair laughed. He managed to get the key in the lock. "I've been thinking about this all week. Sure. I'll see you in a couple hours." Shoving open the loft door, Blair turned off the phone and entered.

"Hey Jim." Blair smiled as he headed straight for his room. His friend was facing the window, staring out into the storm-ridden darkness. Lightning took a flash photo of the city. "Better be prepared. Casey and I are trying again. Man! I hope this time there's no catastrophe. Casey's beginning to feel like we're jinxed." His grin could be heard in his tone of voice. "And you think I'm superstitious..." Blair dropped his backpack on the bed and started pulling off his flannel shirts. At least his t-shirt had stayed dry. "Jim?" Silence.

Standing, numb, Jim was distantly aware of his guide's presence. The warmth and vitality pulling him back from the cold emptiness that had been sucking at his being all day. It wasn't enough. Falling back into the confusion of raindrops and lightning, eyes focused on the horizon, Jim felt as though he were in the midst of the tempest. Feeling the wind and chill against his skin, he almost forgot he wasn't outside. Hoping the rain would wash away the memories. The smell of blood and sheen of pale skin. Hair and lashes dark as ebony upon that ashen cheek... Jim shivered. He didn't understand. He wasn't sure he wanted to. Knowing, for her murderer, there would never be another victim, was no comfort. The vision of those tiny frozen fingers stretching out in the mud, as though reaching futilely for help that would never come, sent icy shards stabbing through his soul. His failure to protect emblazoned in red across the ground.

"Jim?" Curious, Blair glanced out his doorway. Something in the way Jim stood made the hairs on the back of his neck prickle. Concerned, he walked towards his friend, studying him with discerning eyes. "Hey... Jim." He spoke softly, eyes glued to the back of that head. He caught Jim's reflection off the glass and lost his breath for a second. Footsteps faltering, only to quicken as he rushed forward. "Oh god. Jim..." Blair threw his arms around Jim's waist. Holding him tightly. Face pressed tightly to that rigid back. "C'mon, big guy, talk to me." That tall strong body trembled in his grasp.

Jim forced himself to turn around. He couldn't force himself to face Blair. Blinking, he stared across the room instead. Blair hadn't let go. His guide's voice rumbled through Jim's chest, trying to calm and question at the same time. Not really hearing the words, Jim shook his head, still
refusing to look down. Afraid of losing what little control he had left.

"Jim, c'mon. You're scaring me. What is it?" Blair was starting to panic. Was it Simon? Jim's father... brother? What had happened? He held on, wishing he were taller. Jim just kept his gaze focused somewhere over Blair's shoulder. Moisture glittering at the corners of those lost blue eyes. "It's gonna be okay, Jim. I'm here." Blair gripped Jim in a tight bear hug. Rocking him slightly. Babbling reassurances, one hand alternately patting and running soothingly up and down. Desperate to know, Blair finally reached up, hands tugging on the back of Jim's head. "Jim, man, look at me. Talk to me..."

Jim tried to resist the iron grip that insisted that Jim look at Blair. The hands dropped down to shake him. "Jim... " He couldn't resist the frantic appeal. Glancing down at the floor, he slowly raised his eyes to meet Blair's. Swallowing he tried to speak. Not able to because he knew if he did he would lose it completely. He stared mutely down. Trembling hands lifted to capture Blair's sturdy shoulders. The affection and concern shining up at him took the strength out of his legs. He couldn't stop himself from sinking to the floor. His friend followed him down all the way. Blair's voice, touch, and face offered him complete acceptance and unqualified support. Words piled up behind Jim's mouth, tangling and tying his tongue into knots. He still couldn't speak. The cold was eating him up inside. Instinct drew him into that unspoken promise of safety and warmth. He closed his eyes, blocking out everything but that comforting scent surrounding him, the sound beating through his ears. Letting the storm's grip loosen from his body.

"Easy, big guy." Blair kneeled down then sat on the floor, his arms suddenly full of his sentinel. That last look of helpless agony on Jim's face brought out all his protective urges. Whatever it was, Jim wasn't able to talk just yet. Blair could only hold on tight, whispering trite consoling words in those deaf ears. Hardly knowing what he was saying. His ribs ached from the powerful grasp in which he was held. In the back of Blair's mind a thought occurred, that next time he and Casey should just settle for lunch instead of dinner. It looked like Jim wasn't able to talk just yet. Blair felt totally inadequate, but if all Jim needed was for his guide to just be here for him... Blair could do that. He rocked Jim soothingly, feeling the man starting to relax in his arms. He made himself more comfortable. He was ready to sit there as long as it took. There was nothing more important in his life than this strong, yet, oh so vulnerable man. Jim was always there for his friends... for the city he watched over. And Blair was going to be there for Jim.

END