SQ 2034 Part 2: Afraid to Dream

by Artimes

This is part one of the story...part two will soon follow. I mean no offense to people who are suicidal, people who have attempted suicide, or people who have friends and or relatives who have attempted or committed suicide. See Beginnings for other disclaimers.

Rating: PG-13, NC-14 for some subject content (suicide)

SQ 2034 Part 2: Afraid to Dream

by Artimes

Prologue

The SeaQuest is sailing through tranquil waters. It is nighttime, and Christi Gorman is in her quarters, asleep, and dreaming. In her dream, a strange young man, someone who seems familiar to the mind of Christi is present. The scene changes and now the young man and a woman are in bed together, the woman is not Christi. The dream is in 3rd person, so Christi walks into the scene, and she starts to yell at the people. The scene changes again, and now Bourne is telling Christi to come to him in an unarmed sub. The scene changes yet again, and now the people in the picture frame, Christi’s parents, are standing in a hallway.

"Mom, Dad!" a younger Christi calls as she runs to them.

"Sweetie, we have to go on a mission now. This could end the war between Macronesia and the UEO in our favor," the woman explains.

"What submarine are you going on now?" Christi wants to know.

"The RED ROBIN," the man says, hugging Christi. Then the scene changes and Bourne, with his hand on the buttons to program a torpedo launch, appears. Out in the ocean, outside of his sub, there is a larger sub with a name on it’s side: The RED ROBIN. Back on Bourne’s sub, he pushes the buttons. The torpedoes strike the RED ROBIN, destroying it completely. Back in Christi’s room, Christi, still asleep, winces and clutches at the side of her bunk.

"Oh my God, they’re dead! No, he killed them!" Christi continues to scream in her sleep. Lucas Wolenczak is in his room, sleeping. Christi’s screams are still audible, and Lucas jolts up out of his bed. He throws on a robe and goes across the hall to Christi’s room.

‘What is she screaming about?’ he asks himself. He doesn’t know if she is asleep or not, so he knocks on the door. There is no answer, so he pushes the door open.

Chapter One

Christi is now on the floor of her room, still asleep, and still screaming. Lucas has just opened the door, and he is looking at Christi on the floor.

"Christi, what’s going on?" Lucas is confused, there is no one in Christi’s room, and yet she is still screaming. ‘She’s still asleep! It must be a nightmare,’ he thinks. Lucas closes the door behind him and grabs a hold of Christi’s shoulders, then starts to shake her gently. Christi’s eyes flutter open.

"What am I doing on the floor of my cabin?" she asks, as if to herself. Lucas looks at her. He sees that her eyes are wide and scared, and she is shaking.

Christi blinks, and, as if a gear has shifted in her head, she starts to sob uncontrollably.

"Oh God, I saw them, Bourne killed them in front of me.. they’re dead.... he pulled the trigger on them, and on my sisters and most of my brothers."

Lucas takes Christi into his arms, and hugs her while she cries into his T-shirt. Christi stops after a few moments. "Lucas, he killed them for no reason. He wanted my family dead. My brother, he got away, and I entered the SEALs." Lucas holds Christi tightly.

"Christi, it was a dream. You were reliving when your parents and your siblings died." Christi looks up at Lucas.

"It was so real though. I thought he was killing them now." Christi starts to cry again. Lucas rocks her like he would a small child, even though Christi is 20 and he is 21, soon to be 22. Christi soon stops. "My brother, he might still be alive. I have to talk to him." Lucas shakes his head.

"Christi, it’s 4 in the morning."

"It’s 11am in France. I know my brother’s awake. But he doesn’t go to work until 1pm, so I have time." Trying to compose herself, Christi walks to her vid-link and patches in an uplink to France. She types in some numbers, and waits as the vid-link rings. Her brother’s wife picks up, in tears.

"Oh God, whoever you are, this isn’t a good time..." Christi interrupts.

"Colette, it’s Christi, Gregory’s sister." Colette looks at the vid-link finally, and sighs.

"They didn’t tell you yet, did they?" Christi shakes her head, confused.

"No, what happened?"

"Gregory was in a civilian area. Bourne pulled the trigger."

Christi’s eyes flood.

"No....no! He can’t be! Colette, please, tell me Gregory isn’t dead." Colette shakes her head.

"He is. I was going to call you later, but since you called me...

The funeral is in 3 days. He wanted to be cremated."

"I’ll try to get there. When did he die?" Colette’s eyes flood.

"Last night." Christi’s eyes widen. She is stunned.

"He couldn’t have been killed by Bourne, the SeaQuest destroyed him last week."

"Christi, I saw him with my own eyes! He told Gregory that you were dead, that he had killed you. Gregory didn’t believe him. Bourne shot him in the heart. Christi, I implore you, don’t leave the SeaQuest. Stay safe.

You’re the only heir left alive. Where can I send this?" Colette holds up a necklace with an Ankh, a key, and a heart locket on it. Christi’s eyes well up with tears.

"Colette, that necklace is my mother’s..." she trails off.

"She sent it to me. She said that if anything happened to her, to give it to the oldest girl still alive. Your sisters are dead, that leaves only you. Where should I send it?" Colette asks, persisting. Christi turns to Lucas, who is in the background.

"Don’t bother. I’m requesting leave to go to the funeral," Christi replies. Colette shakes her head.

"No. You aren’t setting foot from that ship. It’s too dangerous for you."

"Nonsense. Bourne thinks I’m dead."

"But if he sees you at the funeral... you aren’t going, Christi. Tell me where to send it." Christi nods.

"Send it to Christi Gorman, care of Captain Hudson, New York City Harbor, New York City. Send it the 10th of June, it will get there the 15th."

"Alright Christi. And Christi?" Christi looks up. "Say hi to your boyfriend for me." Christi blushes.

"I don’t have a boyfriend. Lucas and I are platonic." Colette nods, not believing her.

"Is he in your room?" Christi nods, blushing again. Colette smiles, then frowns. "Lucas, if you let anything happen to Christi, I will personally see to it that you are discharged from the UEO Navy,
dishonorably." Lucas hears her and goes to the vid-link screen.

"She’s safe on the SeaQuest with me," he replies steadily. Christi shoots Lucas a ‘look’, and then says good-bye to Colette. She frowns and disconnects the vid-link.

"Safe with you? Not after all the trouble you’ve gotten into before." Lucas chuckles.

"Hey, until I enlisted, I was only a teenager." Christi smiles.

"I see. So since you’re no longer a teenager, it’s safer to be around you?" Christi asks. Lucas nods. Christi frowns. "Look, Lucas, it’s really late, and I have to get some sleep, my shift starts at 8. Thanks for waking me from that nightmare." Lucas squeezes Christi’s hand in reassurance.

"If you need me, just use the PALs. I’m right across the hall. Night Christi."

Lucas leaves quietly, shutting the hatch behind him. Christi sits on her bed, clad in only a black T-shirt. She pulls her black throw around her shoulders, curls up on her bed in a fetal position, and falls asleep to the sounds of the water flowing through Darwin’s swim tubes.

Chapter Two

The next morning, Captain Hudson is on the bridge, speaking with Commander Ford. Christi and Lucas walk through the open clam doors, clad in their proper uniforms; Christi has the Ankh around her neck. Captain Hudson turns and looks at them.

"Ensign, Lieutenant, may I speak to you in the Ward Room?"

"Yes, Captain," Christi answers. Lucas nods, and they follow Captain Hudson to the Ward Room. The three officers walk in and sit down at the table.

"Lieutenant, security spotted you leaving the Ensign’s quarters early this morning. Can you explain why?" Christi sighs.

"Captain, I assure you, nothing happened," Christi says honestly.

"Then why was the Lieutenant in your quarters, Ensign?"

"Sir, Lieutenant Wolenczak’s quarters are opposite mine, and the quarters aren’t exactly sound-proof. I was having a regression nightmare about my family, and the Lieutenant heard it. He must have thought that my screams were because I was in trouble, and so he went into my quarters to see what was wrong. He woke me up, and stayed when I called my brother to make sure he was all right."

"I see. And, your brother is all right, Ensign?"

"No sir, he isn’t. He was shot in the heart by Bourne last night.

My sister-in-law answered the call, and told me. The man knew all about me, and no one else knows that I’m on the SeaQuest, even though Bourne is supposed to be dead." Captain Hudson covers his true feelings about this.

"My sympathies, Ensign. Do you need leave for your brother’s funeral?" Christi shakes her head.

"No thank you Captain. I’m under orders from my sister-in-law to stay on SeaQuest, but she’s sending a package to me care of you. It should be waiting for us at New York Harbor." Captain Hudson nods.

"All right, Ensign. Dismissed, both of you." Christi and Lucas each salute, then walk back to the bridge.

A few minutes later, Christi and Lucas are at their respective stations, when a distress signal sounds.

"Captain, I’m getting a distress signal," Lieutenant-Commander O’Neill says as he pulls his headset down.

"Put it up Mr. O’Neill," Captain Hudson replies as he stands. A woman’s face comes on the screen.

"Mayday, mayday, this is the RED ROBIN 2, if anyone can hear me, please respond. I repeat, this is the RED ROBIN 2, if anyone can hear me, please respond." Christi pales visibly at the sight of the woman.

"RED ROBIN 2, this is the SeaQuest. What is the problem?"

"SeaQuest, the RED ROBIN 2 has been hit by a torpedo, most likely former Macronesian. My life support is minimal, my engines are down, I have only the comm station. There are no others on my sub." Christi pales even more.

"Captain, we have to save her!" Christi exclaims, pulling her headset down.

Captain Hudson looks at her expectantly.

"Why is that, Ensign?"

"She...that’s my sister-in-law, Captain. The RED ROBIN 2 was my brother’s sub." Captain Hudson nods.

"Ensign Gorman, take a launch and bring her aboard." Christi nods.

"Aye sir." Christi salutes and walks off the bridge. Lucas gets up from his station and walks over to Captain Hudson.

"Requesting permission to join the Ensign, sir," Lucas says, saluting. Captain Hudson raises an eyebrow, but nods in affirmation.

"Permission granted Lieutenant. But you had better hurry." Lucas salutes again and runs off the bridge.

Chapter Three

Launch bay. Christi is adjusting her gun and her uniform. Lucas runs in, slightly out of breath. Christi sees him.

"You aren’t going to try to stop me again, are you?" Lucas frowns.

"No, but I am going with you. What if someone is in the area? Besides, you need two people to pilot a rescue launch." Christi smirks at her own oversight.

"I knew I forgot something. Well, let’s go. Colette’s not going to last much longer in the RED ROBIN 2." Christi and Lucas board a launch and head towards the RED ROBIN 2. The launch docks, and Christi and Lucas finish docking procedures, then open the hatch to the RR 2. Christi is out first, and she heads to the bridge, while Lucas scans for life signs. They reach the bridge, where Colette is sitting in the Captain’s chair.

"Colette!" Christi calls out as she enters the bridge. Colette doesn’t respond, so Christi walks to the front of the chair to face Colette.

Christi screams, "Oh my God, Colette! Lucas!" Lucas comes running.

"Christi, what is it... Oh my God..." Lucas trails off as he sees Colette.

Chapter Four

Christi and Lucas are staring at the Captain’s chair on the RR 2. In the Captain’s chair, Colette is seemingly staring into space. There is a gun at her feet, and a bullet wound in her head. Colette has just shot herself.

"Why, Lucas? Why did she kill herself like that?" Lucas is speechless, but he clears his throat and gains control of himself.

"Christi, maybe being in the RED ROBIN 2 so soon after your brother died was too much for her to handle." Christi sighs sadly.

"I’m alone now. Lucas, get in the launch and go back to SeaQuest," she orders quietly. Lucas looks at Christi.

"What about you?"

"I’m going to join my family." Lucas’ eyes widen as Christi pulls her gun out. He acts quickly.

"No Christi, don’t do this." Christi shakes her head.

"Without Colette, there’s no one left who cares about me." Christi pulls a cartridge pack out and ejects all but one of the bullets. She ejects the cartridge in the gun and puts the new one in. Lucas’ eyes widen even more as Christi slowly puts the gun to her head and clicks the catch.

"No! Christi, there are more people on earth who care about you!"

Tears start to roll down Christi’s cheeks.

"Name one." Christi looks down. Lucas puts his hand under her chin and lifts her face back up.

"Me. I care about you." Christi sighs. The gun clatters to the floor as she faints into Lucas’ arms. Lucas picks her up and starts to leave, but he spots a package by Colette’s arm, with the word ‘Christi’ on it. He picks it up and carries it and Christi to the rescue launch.

Chapter Five

Lucas has reached the launch. He lays Christi down on one of the seats, straps her in, and pilots the launch back to the SeaQuest.

"SeaQuest, this is launch MR 5, requesting permission to dock," Lucas says into his headset.

"MR 5, do you have the Ensign’s sister-in-law?" Captain Hudson’s voice comes over the speaker. Lucas shakes his head.

"No I do not sir. She committed suicide just before we reached the RED ROBIN 2. The Ensign’s unconscious, she fainted after trying to attempt to commit suicide herself."

"Is she injured, Lieutenant?"

"No sir. I managed to keep her from shooting herself in the head.

She’s only unconscious. I’ve recovered a package from the bridge of the RED ROBIN 2. It’s not an explosive, but it is made of metal." Lucas looks at the package next to him in the other seat.

"I see. Thank you Lieutenant."

"You’re welcome Captain. MR 5 out." Lucas clicks off the connection as he nears the docking bay. He docks the launch, and picks up both Christi and the package as he opens the launch hatch and walks into the docking bay itself. Dr. Perry is waiting for them. She sees Christi, and runs up to Lucas.

"What happened, Lieutenant?" she asks as they walk to med-bay.

"Colette Gorman, Ensign Gorman’s sister-in-law, came out here in the Red Robin 2. She committed suicide just before the Ensign and I arrived. Ensign Gorman saw her, and tried to commit suicide herself. I talked her out of it, and she fainted. After taking this package, I got her back here."

Dr. Perry takes the package and looks at it.

"It’s addressed to a Christi."

"Christi is Ensign Gorman’s first name, Doctor."

"Then it’s for the Ensign, and we’ll open it when she wakes up. For now," Dr. Perry says as they arrive at the med-bay, "Put her down on the bed so I can run some tests on her. "Did she faint because she was hit by anything?"

"No. She just dropped the gun and collapsed into my arms." Dr. Perry nods, preoccupied with attaching an EKG to Christi.

"Okay, so it was probably stress-related. Look at these readings."

Lucas and Dr. Perry look at the readings on the EKG monitor. The monitor reads one hundred and fifty-five. (I know that that's really high, but it's possible. My dad's was 150 when he was in the hospital)

"Doctor, her heart rate is very high. What’s going on?" Lucas looks down at Christi.

"She’s dreaming. It must be something very stressful for her. Watch her. I’m going to get a dream monitor." Lucas nods and Dr. Perry walks off screen. She returns a few seconds later with a large machine, a dream monitor.

"This will monitor her dreams, and project the pictures onto this screen. Hold onto her, if she senses someone watching her dream, she may fight." Dr. Perry attaches the monitor and screen comes to life in color, showing the mind of Christi Gorman.

"Get away Bourne! The sins of my father are not my own!" Gregory Gorman yells as Bourne pulls the trigger and shoots him in the heart as Colette Gorman screams in the background. Then the original RED ROBIN appears. The scene switches to Bourne’s sub. He pushes a button and there is an explosion. The RED ROBIN is now nothing but debris. The scene switches yet again to the house of the Gorman family, where a postman comes up the steps and rings the doorbell. A younger Christi answers it.

"Oh, hi Mr. Abernathy."

"Hello Christi. I have a letter for you, it’s from the UEO."

"I wonder what they wrote us for."

"I don’t know. They usually only write if there’s been a death, or if someone’s been accepted into the Academy. Good luck Christi."

"Thanks Mr. Abernathy." Christi shuts the door. She walks into the living room and opens the letter. she reads it over, and after a moment, drops to the floor crying. An unknown person, a woman, come into the living room.

"Christi, what’s the matter?"

"Mum and dad, they’ve been killed." The scene switches once more as Christi appears on the SeaQuest, running to the launch bay. She reaches it, and Lucas runs in after her. He speaks to her, it is a clip from Beginnings.

"I’m sorry Christi, but this is the only way." Lucas stuns her. The scene changes for the last time and Colette is dead in the Captain’s chair on the RR 2, and Christi has a gun to her head.

"With Colette gone, no one cares about me."

"That isn’t true Christi!" Lucas yells. Christi drops the gun to the floor and faints into Lucas’ arms. The screen goes blank, and Christi wakes up.

"What’s going on?" she asks.

"You fainted on the RR 2. Colette left a package for you." Lucas hands Christi the package from before. Christi carefully opens it, and takes out a small box. She opens that, and starts to cry.

"What is it?" Lucas asks. Christi gives Lucas the box. Nestled inside is a necklace with an Ankh, a key, and a heart locket on it. "The necklace. Here, Christi." Lucas takes the necklace out of the box and puts it on Christi, who cries even harder. Lucas climbs onto the bed with her and holds her while she cries. Dr. Perry watches them without interrupting while Christi pours her sorrows out. Lucas lets her cry, just holding her. She finally stops, and tries to dry her eyes.

"Lucas, she’s dead, isn’t she?" Lucas nods. Christi doesn’t say anything more for a minute, then looks at her heart monitor.

"I think you can unattach this thing Doctor. My heart rate’s back down to normal. You can get rid of the dream monitor too," she says, her voice trembling slightly. Dr. Perry nods and puts away all the equipment.

"Christi, why did you try to commit suicide?"

"Because no one else on this earth cares about me." Christi sighs sadly.

"No Christi, people still care about you. Would I have stopped you from committing suicide if I didn’t care?" Christi shakes her head.

"No, you wouldn’t have." Lucas hugs her again. Christi looks up at him, as if searching his eyes.

"What is it Christi?" Lucas asks, disturbed by her stare.

"I’m looking for a lie. It’s not there. Lucas, take me home, please." Lucas looks confused, but then he realizes what she is saying.

‘Take her back to her quarters, stupid. SeaQuest is her home now’. Lucas helps Christi out of her bed and then escorts her back to her quarters and says good night. He then walks up to the bridge. He arrives and walks to Captain Hudson.

"Captain?" Lucas asks. Captain Hudson turns around.

"Is she all right?" Lucas sighs.

"Physically, yes. Emotionally, she’s very unstable right now. I told you she tried to commit suicide, right?" Captain Hudson nods. "She tried because she thought no one else on earth cared about her. Captain, I’m requesting permission to watch the Ensign so that nothing happens to her.

She may try to do it again. Once someone like Christi sets her heart on something, it can be very hard to stop them." Lucas doesn’t notice that Captain Hudson has raised an eyebrow at the use of Christi’s first name.

"All right Lieutenant, permission granted. Don’t let anything happen to her." Lucas looks a bit surprised that Captain Hudson has taken such a liking to Christi, but he doesn’t say anything and walks back off of the bridge.

Chapter Six

Captain Hudson is in his quarters. He has a picture in his hand.

The picture is of Christi’s parents, Captain Hudson and Elaine Morse, one girl who is about 12, one girl and one boy who are about 10, one boy who is about 11, and one girl and one boy who are about 8. Even though she has changed so much, it is possible to tell that the youngest girl is Christi.

"Jim, I know I said I’d take care of her if anything happened to you, but I can’t be with her all the time, and I certainly can’t let her know who I am. Bourne doesn’t know either, what she is to me. God Jim, why’d you have to go and get killed by him? If Elaine were here.." Captain Hudson’s monologue is interrupted by someone knocking on his door. "Come in," he says, still looking at the picture. He finally looks up when the person clears their throat.

"Captain, permission to speak freely?" Captain Hudson nods, preoccupied with his thoughts. "Captain, the Ensign is stable; she’s asleep. I think she needs more treatment from Dr. Perry." Lucas pauses, seeing the picture. "You knew them?" he asks. Captain Hudson nods. He rarely reveals any of his personal life, but he trusts Lucas.

"Yes. Jim, Christi’s father, was my best friend. He and his wife introduced me to Elaine. Before he and Dorothy, Christi’s mother, went off to spy, they made Elaine and I promise them that nothing would happen to any of their children if something happened to them. I’ve broken the promise 5 times now. Her sisters, Mary and Alanna, killed last year in an arranged accident. Her brothers, Alan and Michael, killed in a terrorist bombing; arranged by Bourne of course. Her last brother, Gregory, killed by Bourne himself. Colette, Gregory’s wife, killed herself earlier today. Lieutenant, what I am telling you now does not leave this room unless under extreme circumstances. I’m trusting you with her because I know that you can do what I can’t. Save her Lucas. Save Christi from the same fate as her brothers and sisters, from the same fate as her parents. Normally, I would not allow a ship-board romance, but if that’s what it takes to keep her alive, then so be it. Jim was my best friend, and I swore to him I would keep them safe. I don’t want to break that oath again.

Lucas, Christi Marie Gorman is one of the more important people in the world to me, besides my own daughter, who died 5 years ago." Lucas looks at Captain Hudson in a new light. This is the Captain Hudson similar to Captain Bridger. This is the Captain Hudson that makes people proud to be under his command. Lucas smiles.

"You got it Captain. I’ll keep her safe and alive." His PAL beeps.

"Lieutenant Wolenczak," he says officially and listens for a few minutes.

"Sorry Captain, I have to go. Dr. Perry just told me that an Ensign found Christi with a knife to her throat," Lucas sighs, saddened. Captain Hudson puts the picture away and pulls on his boots.

"I’m coming with you. Let’s go." Captain Hudson and Lucas walk to med-bay. They find Christi standing by Dr. Perry, half conscious while Dr. Perry takes her pulse.

"Well Captain, she’s healthy physically, and her pulse is very low, but emotionally, she’s a wreck. One of the other doctors is a parapsychologist. She scanned the Ensign’s mind. She’s not off the deep end yet, but she’s pretty close. She’s going to need someone she knows to pull her back."

Captain Hudson sighs.

"She has no relatives, and she’s really only friendly with Lieutenant Wolenczak."

"Lieutenant, you’ll have to do this then. Christi needs a hand. I think you can give it to her." Lucas nods. Dr. Perry moves away as a younger doctor comes over.

"I am Dr. Eleanor Carreras. Lieutenant, if you’ll sit down in that chair, and hold onto the Ensign’s hand, we can begin." Lucas grasps Christi’s hand, and awaits further instructions from Dr. Carreras.

"Now, close your eyes, and talk to her in your mind, not aloud."

Lucas complies.

‘Christi, come back. Come back from the cliff.’ Lucas senses something.

‘Lucas, is that you?’ a tentative voice asks. Lucas’ eyes fly open.

"She’s still there," is all he says before closing his eyes to respond. ‘I’m here Christi. Step back from the cliff.’

‘Why? Who cares if I live or die?’ Christi’s mind asks. Lucas mentally recoils from the reply.

‘I care, Christi. I care.’

‘How can you care about someone who doesn’t care back, who _can’t_ care back?’ Christi asks in response.

‘Christi, wake up. Come up out of your sleep and wake up.’

Christi’s eyes flutter open, as do Lucas’.

"Now, tell me that aloud."

"I said, how can you care about someone who doesn’t care about you back, who _can’t_ care about you back?"

"Christi, tell me that you don’t care about me."

Christi looks down. "I don’t care about you," she mumbles.

"Christi, _look at me_ and tell me that you don’t care about me."

Lucas lifts Christi’s face up. Christi opens her mouth, but nothing comes out. She
looks away.

"I can’t," she says, frustrated and upset.

"_Why not_ ?" Lucas asks her.

"Because I can’t say it!" Christi yells. Lucas grabs her face, roughly but tenderly at the same time to avoid hurting her.

"That is not a reason Christi." Lucas pauses. Christi starts to cry silently. "Now, _look at me and tell me why you can’t say that you don’t care about me_." Christi is now silently sobbing, but she can still speak clearly. "Because I do! Because, Lucas, I do," Christi whispers inaudibly, so that no one can hear her. Lucas persists.

"No one can hear a whisperer, Christi. _Tell me why you can’t say you don’t care about me!_" Lucas fairly yells. Christi has tears running down her face in torrents.

"_Because I do! I can’t tell you that I don’t care about you because I do!!_" Christi yells, giving into her tears. The entire room, which consists of Captain Hudson, Dr. Perry, Dr. Carreras, and Lieutenant Henderson are staring at Lucas and Christi. None of them want to interrupt, they know that Lucas is trying desperately to help.

"Christi, step back from the cliff. I care about you too much to let you go over the edge." Christi is sobbing openly now.

"I can’t do that either." Lucas sighs. ‘I didn’t want it to come to this,’ he thinks. He stands, and the camera follows him as he walks over to a table with a tray full of surgical supplies on it. He picks up a scalpel, and walks back over to the bed. As the others watch in surprise and then in
horror, he puts the scalpel on his neck, with no pressure, though Christi cannot tell that this is the case.

"Christi, act on your words. Step back from the cliff. I’m determined now, but I didn’t want it to come to this. You know I will do this Christi, so step back, or I’ll join you in death." He puts a minute bit of pressure on his neck, not enough to cut it, but enough to scare Christi to her soul.

"Lucas stop! Don’t do it! I won’t try to kill myself anymore! Just please, take the scalpel away from your neck!" Christi is still sobbing, and seeing Lucas holding a scalpel to his neck is like Lucas seeing Christi with the gun to her head. Christi starts to get hysterical, and the flood of
tears show no sign of stopping. Lucas sees that he’s finally broken her will to kill herself, and gives the scalpel to Dr. Carreras. He pulls Christi from the bed and into his arms, once again rocking her like a child.

"Christi, it’s OK, I’m not going to do it. Please, stop crying. Christi, shhh.."

Lucas starts to ad-lib words to make Christi stop crying, and after a while, it works. Christi looks up at him, and her unfathomable blue eyes open Lucas’ heart. He starts to cry now, and Christi is the one murmuring comfort words to him. Everyone except for Captain Hudson has left by now, and he is standing outside the med-bay, making sure no one disturbs them.

"Lucas, why did you do that? Why did you make me say it?" Christi asks, whispering, as she leans her head on Lucas’ chest. Lucas strokes her hair gently.

"Because I knew you needed to say it. You needed to understand it."

Lucas kisses the top of Christi’s head. Christi sighs.

"Okay, but then why did you try to commit suicide in front of everyone?"

"Because shaking you to your soul was the only way to make you stop trying to jump. Because you needed to know how it feels to see someone holding their life in their hands, about to throw it away. Because you needed to know that you cared." Christi looks up at Lucas.

"I need to leave here." Lucas looks as if he has been shot. Christi smirks. "Not leave the boat, leave the med-bay." Lucas nods. They both get up and stretch, then walk back to Christi’s quarters together. Christi walks in, and Lucas is about to say good night and leave, when Christi grabs his arm.

"What is it?" Lucas asks.

"Please, stay with me Lucas. I’m afraid to dream."

The End
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