Title: My Hallucinations

Author: Perpetual Motion

iwannabedonna@yahoo.com

Webpage: http://www.geocities.com/iwannabedonna

Fandom: Scrubs

Pairing: Cox/Ben

Rating: PG

Spoilers: Fix-it fic for “My Screw-up”. Most of the episode is spoiled.

Summary: Perry and Ben settle down for a talk.

Dis: Not mine. Belongs to NBC, who doesn’t treat them very nicely at all.

Author’s Notes: So, yeah, Ben can’t be dead. Because I say so. And because Julian Lee and Michelle K say so. So, ladies, let’s ban together and kill this rumor. For the girls, because they know what the truth *really* is.


My Hallucinations
By Perpetual Motion


“Ben!” Perry slammed the apartment door open so hard it bounced off the wall. “Ben!” He stormed down the hall. “Ben, I know you’re here! Where the *fuck* are you?” Perry stalked into the living room and stopped in the middle. “Ben!”

Ben came out of the kitchen carrying Jack on his hip. “That was a really impressive entrance. I especially liked how you cleared the coffee table in one leap. “Wanna see?” Ben pulled a Polaroid out of his back pocket and held it up with a grin.

Perry knocked Ben’s hand aside, got a handful of his T-shirt, and yanked him forward. He kissed him desperately.

“Pe-” Ben waited for Perry to give him an eight of an inch. When he got it, he tried to speak again and found an extra tongue in his mouth. He caught Perry’s tongue with his teeth. “What’th goog on?” He released Perry’s tongue.

“I went to a funeral today.”

“I knew that already. Oh, speaking of-“ Ben handed Jack to Perry. “*You* get to explain to Jordan why your son is now deaf and has learned that two boys can kiss each other.”

“He went deaf,” Perry’s voice changed to a sing-song, and he poked Jack in the stomach; “because his mommy is a banshee.”

Jack smiled. “Ban-ee.”

“That’s my boy.”

Ben poked Perry in the stomach. “Funeral?”

“Funeral? Oh, yeah. I went to a funeral.” Perry turned towards the living room. “There was a coffin, flowers, sermon. Nice funeral.”

Ben hooked his fingers into Perry’s belt loops and yanked him backwards. He wrapped an arm across Perry’s waist and the other he slanted across Perry’s chest. “Put Jack down.”

“Why?”

“Perry, put Jack down.”

“This is a new level of the Sullivan crazy.” Perry leaned down and aimed Jack towards his play rug in the living room. “And when are you planning to let me go?”

Ben hugged Perry. “So this funeral, tell me about it.”

“You want to know about the funeral?”

”Actually,” Ben kissed Perry’s neck. “I want to know why you went to a funeral and came home crazy.” He kissed Perry’s ear. “Well, crazier.”

Perry wrapped his hands around the arm around his chest. He dropped his head forward. “The coffin.”

“What about it?”

“It had the guy’s picture on it. It was set up in a frame and was just *there*. Dead guy in the big, pretty box, and his happy, smiling face propped up so everyone at the funeral could freak out.”

Ben rested his chin on Perry’s shoulder. “And why did it make you freak out?”

“No reason.”

“Uh-uh. No lying. We’re having a whole big truth moment. Spill it.”

Perry sighed. “I kept seeing your face in the picture. I saw your face. I kept thinking it could have been you in that coffin. I kept thinking about how it could so easily be you because you disappeared for two years and didn’t see a goddamned *doctor*.”

“I saw a medicine man.”

”That’s not the point!” Perry tried to pull away, but Ben tightened his hold. “Let me go.”

“No.”

“Let. Me. Go.”

“No.”

Perry tried to twist out of Ben’s grip and sent them both falling to the floor. He was flipped onto his back and there was a sudden *clickflash* right in front of his eyes. “What the hell are you doing?”

“Making a point.” Ben turned the camera on himself and pressed the shutter. He pulled the picture out and set the camera aside. “Look at me, Perry.”

“I will a soon as the fuzzy light dots go away.”

Ben settled himself so he was lying in the vee of Perry’s legs and resting his weight on his arms. “They gone yet?”

Perry blinked a few times. “Close enough. Get off me.”

“Nope.”

“Get. Off. Me.”

“Remember about thirty seconds ago when you dropped to one-word sentences and we both fell to the floor? I don’t think we should try that again because going *through* the floor would not only be really painful, but it would also freak out your downstairs neighbors.”

Perry rolled his eyes and put his hands behind his head. “Okay. Fine. So tell me why you have me pinned to the floor, we’ll hug and prance and call it a day.”

Ben grinned. “Prancing, huh? We haven’t done that in ages.”

”I will throw you off me.”

“No, you won’t.” Ben leaned in close to Perry. “I’m alive, Perry. I have a clean bill of health from Betsy, one from the medicine man I saw in South Africa, and one more from Lucifer. Who, by the way, told me if I ever left for two years again, he’d personally disembowel me because you’re apparently a whiny, sullen bastard who keeps sleeping with his ex-wife and torturing random doctors when I’m not around.”

“I do most of that when you’re around.”

”Well, they do say Satan lies.” Ben gave Perry a soft, careful, rather un-Ben smile. “The point I’m making is that I really am okay. I took care of myself. I’m still taking care of myself.”

“Why’d you leave?”

“I thought I was going to die. I wanted to see things.” Ben held up the Polaroid of Perry he’d taken a minute ago. “And I was somewhere in the
Netherlands when I just *had* to see you again.”

“That’s almost romance movie queasy.”

Ben thumped Perry on the forehead with his forefinger. “Shut up. I’m making a point. I’m trying to tell you I missed you and that I love you, and that I knew I was healthy when I showed up here, because I don’t plan to leave for any reason anytime soon.”

Perry reached over and picked up the Polaroid of Ben. He tucked it into his shirt pocket. “So you’re sticking around?”

“Yeah.”

“And the next time you decide to run off for two years and not contact anyone-“

“You and Jack are coming with me.”

“What about Jordan and Dannie?”

“They don’t get to come. It’ll be hard enough explaining how Jack is my nephew because you kept falling back into bed with my sister because you missed me.”

“I did no-” Perry got cut off as Ben kissed him. He pushed Ben away. “I didn’t keep sleeping with Jordan because I missed you. I slept with Jordan because I kept getting drunk.”

“I’m locking up your liquor cabinet for as long as I’m here.”

Perry pulled Ben down and kissed him.



END