Title: Calling Out to You

Author/pseudonym: Lokemele

Fandom: The Sentinel/Psi Factor: Chronicles of the Paranormal

Pairing: James Ellison/Blair Sandburg

Rating: R for Violence

Status: New, Complete

Archive: Yes, please

E-mail address for feedback:: lokemele@cchono.com

Series/Sequel: No

Other websites: NONE

Disclaimers: Characters from The Sentinel belong to Pet Fly Productions; characters from Psi Factor belong to Alliance Atlantis and Eyemark Entertainment. No profit is being made, and no infringement of copyrights is intended.

Notes: The Sentinel/ Urban Legend Challenge, as told from the POV of a team of psychic investigators.

Note: Thanks to Nightowl for the license plate number of Jim's truck!!

Summary: The OSIR is called in to investigate strange broadcasts on police radios in Cascade, WA.

Calling Out To You

by Loke

Prologue

"Officer down! Officer down at 1238 Stanton! Request back-up!"

Blair Sandburg released the transmit button and prayed someone would respond. Yeah, Sandburg, fat chance, he thought. Not after you and Jim were "outed" -- the boys in blue don't want to know you.

He knew there were patrol cars in the area; they'd seen one a couple blocks from where they were now. They'd been driving home from work when they'd turned a corner and seen a gun battle right in front of them. Two cars were cattycorner in the street while their occupants exchanged fire. They'd called it in and Jim had left the truck, telling his partner to stay put, stay down, and wait for back-up.

That had been 15 minutes ago, and back-up was still no where in sight or sound. Jim had been hit 5 minutes ago and hadn't moved since; there was a pool of blood under him. Blair listened to the silence a few seconds longer before repeating his call and adding, "Please! Someone -- anyone -- help us!" He didn't realize he was still transmitting when he continued: "God, Jim, nobody's coming."

It was his last transmission.

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

OSIR Case Manager's Log: Case # 35248

Case Manager Peter Axon reporting:

We've been called by in the Cascade, WA Police to investigate strange radio calls and other phenomena reported by officers and dispatchers. Our point of contact with the department is a Capt. Simon Banks. We're currently doing a full environmental analysis and interviews of witnesses. We've also called in an electronics expert to assist in tracking, triangulating, and pinpointing the source of the transmissions.

"God, Jim, nobody's coming." The despair in the voice was obvious, despite the quality of the recording. That it hurt Banks to hear it was equally obvious.

"Doesn't sound very professional," Ray Donahue, ex-cop and current OSIR security officer, commented. "Was he a rookie?"

"He was a civilian observer," Banks growled. "He wasn't even armed, dammit!" His eyes squeezed shut in an effort to block out memory. Opening them a moment later, he continued, "At first we thought it was some sort of prank; somebody broadcasting recordings over the police band. We contacted an electronics firm and they claimed the signals were coming from two places: 852 Prospect and 1238 Stanton."

"1238 Stanton," Axon observed, "the ambush point. Why 852 Prospect?"

"It's where they'd been living for the last three years," Banks said. "It's where they were going: home, after work."

"What's at these two addresses now?" the case manager asked.

"1238 Stanton was and continues to be a vacant lot; there are rumors you can hear gunfire on certain nights," the captain reported. "We coincidentally had a patrol car there during one of the broadcasts; ironically enough, they were investigating a report of shots fired. No sign of any vehicles, people, or electronics. I pulled the report," he handed Axon the document, "look at the date."

Axon looked. "Two years to the day after they were ambushed."

"Practically to the minute," Donahue added, looking at the report over his case manager's shoulder.

Axon turned back to Banks. "What about the Prospect address?

"It's uninhabited; neither of the co-owners is willing to sell to the other."

"Co-owners?" the case manager asked.

"Ellison put Sandburg's name on the deed a few months before they were killed," Banks said. "The property is now co-owned by Ellison's brother Steven and Sandburg's mother Naomi. Neither one is very happy with the Cascade PD right now; we had to get a warrant to search the place. In addition to a physical search, we had our electronics firm do a sweep for anything electronic. Didn't find anything but dust. We installed some video cameras and sealed the doors. All we got were some fuzzy pictures. All our seals were intact."

"Could either or both of them be responsible?" asked Axon.

"Not directly," Banks said. "Steven Ellison has an alibi for most of the incidents, and Naomi Sandburg left Cascade the day after the suit was settled. She's been living in a religious retreat since then."

"What was the suit about?" Axon inquired.

"Wrongful death," Banks answered. "Both families claimed the police were negligent in answering Ellison's and Sandburg's calls for assistance because they were lovers. The city tried to settle out of court to avoid negative publicity, but Ms. Sandburg was having nothing of it. I think she wanted her day in court far more than any amount of money."

"Who 'outed' them?" Donahue asked.

"A dirtbag of a lawyer named Horace Parsons," Banks said. "He was trying to get his client off by discrediting the arresting officer: Det. James Ellison." His eyes took on a faraway look. "I still remember the morning it happened . . . "

<Flashback>

"Yes, I've seen it," Banks was saying into the phone as Ellison and Sandburg knocked on the door to his office. He motioned them inside as he listened to the voice on the other end. "I'm aware of that. Yes, they're here right now. I'll tell them you said that. Yes, sir. Goodbye." He hung up the phone and turned to the pair. "That was the District Attorney. He claims the two of you have just blown every pending case you're involved with. How the hell could you be so stupid?" He tossed the morning paper at them, in case no one had bothered to point out their pictures gracing the front page, with the caption "Cascade's Finest?" along side.

Most of the photos were innocuous enough; shots of Jim and Blair kissing in Jim's pick-up and standing in what might be construed as intimate positions. But there was one full-length shot that showed them on their balcony in what was obviously an intimate embrace. Blair's head was thrown back against Jim's shoulder while the larger man was kissing his neck; one of Jim's hands was caressing Blair's chest while the other cupped his genitals. Even though both men were fully clothed, there was no doubt they were far more than friends.

"We were watching the sunset," Sandburg explained, "and sort of got, uh, carried away." He flushed, remembering the lovemaking that followed, then paled, wondering if that, too, had been caught on film.

"It's an obvious attempt to destroy our credibility," Ellison remarked. "The question is, are we going to allow it to happen?"

"The DA seems to think we already have," Banks pointed out, "and a number of others in important positions are going to agree. This doesn't exactly reflect well on the whole department, and you two are going to catch a lot of flack from the brass." He grimaced, hating to have to say the next words. "As of now, Ellison, you're on desk duty, and Sandburg, your ride along privileges have been suspended. Orders from the Commissioner himself."

<End Flashback>

"Ellison hated desk duty; I think Sandburg was the only thing that kept his head together," Banks said sadly. "Oddly enough, it didn't seem to affect their credibility; every time it was brought up in court, it was ruled irrelevant. We didn't lose any cases because of it. I was going to use that to have them reinstated when they were killed."

"How'd you find out it was Parsons?" Axon asked.

"He was overheard in the courthouse's Men's room complaining about its lack of success," Banks replied. "We tracked down the PI who took the pictures, and he gave us the whole story."

The case manager nodded. "I think we have everything we need for now. We'll be in touch if we find anything." He and Donahue gathered up the documentation they'd requested and left for a team briefing.

OSIR Team Briefing: 1400 hours

"OK," began Axon, "what have we got so far?"

"Environmental analysis was negative across the board," Alex Sanders, the woman in charge of that aspect of the case reported. "We're trying to contact the owners of the two properties for their permission to do analyses at those locations.

"We've checked every radio in every police vehicle and all the equipment in the dispatch area," Clayton Nguen, the team's electronics expert, added. "No extra circuits, no additional receivers, no evidence whatsoever of any sort of tampering. We've set up monitoring equipment as close to the two reported source sites as we could get without the owners' permission, which we're waiting on. If anybody tries transmitting from either location, we'll know."

"Witness reports are consistent," Lindsay Donner, their senior data analyst, said, "with only small variables consistent with individual personalities. They all agree they heard, and in a few cases saw, something; they're just not sure of exactly what it was. People who knew the two men have positively identified their voices as the ones in the broadcasts, and we've obtained documented recordings of their voices from court records and other sources to be used for voiceprint analysis."

"Autopsy reports and crime scene photos," Dr. Claire Davidson, the team's pathologist, said, passing a file folder to Axon. "Ellison died of gunshot wounds to the chest and abdomen. He made it to the hospital, but died in the ER. Sandburg wasn't so fortunate; cause of death was listed as homicide with the various fatal injuries listed as contributing. The coroner was unable to determine exactly which one was the cause of death."

Axon looked at the photos, grimacing and turning a little green at Sandburg's. "Oh, man," he whispered, quickly stuffing them back inside the folder.

"Whoever did that," Davidson commented, "was carrying around a lot of rage, either against Sandburg himself or something he represented to his attackers."

!*!*! SPECIAL SQUICK WARNING!!! Stop here if graphic descriptions of torture or mutilation bother you!! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!! !*!*!

Axon had to agree, looking at the bruised, bloody and mutilated remains which had been strung up, spread-eagle, between two trees. He skimmed through the autopsy report, noting the injuries. Sandburg had been severely beaten with several objects, including something which bore a more-than-passing resemblance to a police nightstick; cuts of various depth covered his torso and limbs, including a large X-shaped one across his abdomen deep enough to allow his internal organs to fall out. There was evidence of rape, both anal and oral, and his genitals had been severed and stuffed into his mouth. The words "a lot of rage" seemed inadequate to describe the depth of feeling demonstrated by the mutilation.

Ray Donahue went next. "Ellison was a model cop, with a high arrest and conviction record. He was a former Cop of the Year, and rumor had it he was up for the award again when he was 'outed'. With apologies to those present, you'd think having to drag around an academic type like Sandburg would slow him down, but his arrest record actually improved in the last three years."

"Because of Sandburg?" Axon asked.

"He might have been using methodologies picked up from his college background," Donner speculated, "or keeping Ellison abreast of developments in criminology. There's something else about Blair Sandburg; he changed his dissertation topic, but not until nearly a year after he started riding along with Ellison. His Master's thesis, and his original doctorate dissertation, were based on a work by the explorer Richard Burton called "The Sentinels of Paraguay"."

"Interesting speculation, Lindsay," Axon said, "but not really relevant to this case. For right now people, we have to wait -- " He got no further, as an assistant stuck his head in the conference room.

"There's a broadcast going out over the police band," he said, "and it sounds like Ellison."

The meeting broke up as people rushed to check on the new development. Axon, Donner, Nguen, and Donahue beat a path to the electronic consoles. "What have we got?" asked the case manager.

"We were getting normal traffic," a tech answered, "when we got a broadcast of 'Officer needs assistance', followed by 'Officer down, request ambulance and additional units' to the same address."

"Do we have a point of origin for the calls?" Nguen asked his people.

"852 Prospect," came the answer.

"Unit 2," Axon said, "it's coming from your position. What have you got?"

"Not a thing, Base," a voice came back from the Prospect location. "Negative on thermography, EM, radiation, electrical. Environmentals normal. Motion sensors negative."

Meanwhile, Donahue was keeping track of the police band, for additional broadcasts but also to determine if there actually was an officer down at the address specified. It turned out there was. He made a note to have the officer interviewed if he survived, as well as the officers responding to the calls.

"There's nothing at Prospect?" Axon demanded. "Unit 2, double check your equipment. Nguen, are you certain of the location?"

"We double checked it during the second message," the electronics expert replied.

Case Manager's Log: Update

After an exhaustive analysis of data gathered during the latest event, we can find no evidence of hoaxing originating at the point of origination for the broadcasts. We have managed to get permission from the owner of the Stanton site to set up monitoring equipment on his property, as well as getting permission from Naomi Sandburg, who has returned to Cascade, to do full environmental analysis and continuos monitoring of the Prospect site.

852 Prospect

Day 4, 1000 Hours

Axon, Donahue, Simon Banks, Naomi Sandburg, and an environmental team were standing at the entrance of the building containing what had been Ellison's and Sandburg's loft. The team's photographer and video cameraperson were documenting for the record that all entrances were still sealed and the seals untampered with. They were also recording to make a base for comparison with any data later collected. After the seal had been photographed and videotaped for the record, it was broken by Banks and Naomi unlocked the front door.

Axon stopped her from opening it, motioning Donahue to do the honors. He pushed it open, looked around for intruders, and stepped back for the photographer and video cameraperson to do their jobs. Only after the room was documented did anyone enter it. This process was repeated for the elevator, the hallway outside the loft, and the loft itself, where they found their first anomaly.

When the loft's main door was opened and the lights of the video camera were shown on the floor, they found tracks in the dust; not human footprints, but animal tracks.

Big ones. Two sets, apparently from two different kinds of animals.

"Lindsay, this is Axon," the case manager spoke into his portable mike. "We're going to need Cooper."

Lennox 'L.Q.' Cooper was the team's cryptozoologist. Axon didn't think the tracks were anything too exotic, but there was no need to take any chances. This case was already proving much more difficult than anticipated.

Fortunately he was already in Washington state; he'd been working on a case of what had been reported as a Bigfoot but turned out to be an orangutan who'd been released by the drug dealer who'd owned him after he became too much to handle. As he'd put it, "Some people have severely overactive imaginations."

Right now he was kneeling down next to some of the tracks, which had been carefully sprayed with a fixative to preserve them. "Hmm, what have we here? Some sort of large feline, and what are definitely the prints of a Western Timber Wolf. I'm certain about the wolf prints, having just seen near-identical ones being made by an actual wolf," he said, looking up at Axon, "at a safe distance, of course."

"What about the other set?" the case manager asked.

"If we were outside, I'd say cougar," Cooper replied, "but right now . . . hmm, there's something not quite right about these tracks. I need to do a further analysis."

"Too bad you didn't run into a cougar out in the woods," Donahue said, coming up on the pair.

"I didn't see one," the zoologist murmured, continuing his examination, "but there were plenty of tracks, which makes me doubt about these."

Donahue shook his head without replying. It was part of his job to ensure the specialists' scientific curiosity didn't imperil them; he'd had to bodily pick up and carry out more than one when the team was given a withdrawal order. His attention was snapped back to the here and now by Axon's voice.

"Was there something you wanted?"

"The officer who was wounded yesterday regained consciousness half an hour ago," he said. "He told Donner a really interesting story. You might want to hear it."

Interview with Witness: Patrolman Greg Lewis

Interviewer: Lindsay Donner

Time: 1430 Hours

Donner: Do you remember anything of what happened?

Lewis: Some; I was driving home after work and pulled into a service station for some gas. As I was pulling in, I saw two African-American males standing inside the store with guns held on the clerk while a third rifled the register. I called it in on my cell phone and drew my weapon, using my vehicle as cover. As they left the store I identified myself and told them to drop their weapons and surrender. ("Stupid move," whispered Donahue to Axon, "he should have noted their descriptions, details of their getaway vehicle, and direction of escape, then waited for back-up.")

Donner: Did they surrender?

Lewis: No; they opened fire instead. I returned fire, and was hit. I thought I'd bought it, and they'd come over and finish me. Then the truck came, and they dived into their vehicle and split.

Donner: What color was the truck? What kind of vehicle was it?

Lewis: A blue and white '69 Ford pick-up, Washington state license plate 804-GDT. It had a blue flasher in the windshield, and the driver identified himself as a police officer. I heard him tell someone he called 'Chief' to call it in as he got out of his vehicle. ("A third call came through while you were talking to Unit 2," Donahue broke in again, "Sandburg's voice, giving number of suspects and descriptions, details of their getaway vehicle, and the direction of their escape. They were caught less than an hour later, but refuse to talk to anyone.") He came over and told me it was going to be OK, but I should wait for back-up next time. That's the last I remember until I woke up here.

Donner: What did they look like? Can you give me a description?

Lewis: I didn't get a really good look at the one who stayed in the truck. I can't even say for sure if it was male or female; it had curly hair almost down to its shoulders, and that was about all I saw. The other one was tall, 6' 3" or 6' 4", medium build but muscular, not muscle-bound but like he worked out regularly, about 175 lbs., dark brown hair with a receding hairline, blue eyes. I didn't see any scars or tattoos. Why are you asking me that? His name should be in the report.

[Interview was terminated at this time.]

"We ran the license plate," Donahue told Axon. "Washington state license plate 804-GDT is currently registered to a Dodge Caravan owned by a man in Pullman, which is near the Idaho border. We did a little digging and discovered it formerly graced several vehicles, including a blue and white 1969 Ford pick-up, owned by one James Ellison of 852 Prospect in Cascade."

Case Manager's Log: Update

Day 22

Time: 1300 Hours

After three weeks of testing, monitoring, and analysis, we are no closer to eradicating the phenomena. We have been forced to conclude this is an actual haunting, but attempts to contact and lay the restless spirits to rest have failed. We are now attempting to do an in-depth psychological analysis on both men to determine how best to proceed.

"What have we got?" Axon asked.

"Ellison's profile indicates he's extremely dedicated," Davidson said. "Set him to a task and he'll accomplish it despite any obstacles thrown at him. While he was an Army Ranger he was one of a group of 'advisers' sent into the Peruvian jungle to assist counter-insurgents. Something went wrong, and the 'copter they were in crashed in the jungle. He was the only survivor, and he managed to not only survive for 18 months, but to organize the local tribesmen into a guerilla force to accomplish his original objective."

"In other words he's not going to let a little thing like being dead stop him from helping a fellow officer," put in Donahue.

Ignoring the comment, she continued. "Sandburg's a little harder to pin down. He was a gifted scholar; a freshman at Rainier at 16, received his Master's at 19, but from there he seemed to have burned out. One professor I spoke to told me he should have finished his dissertation by the time he was 23, and couldn't understand why he hadn't. Raised by a single mother -- Ms. Sandburg told me she never married -- the family moved often and frequently lived in communes and with other counter-culture groups and individuals. The three years he lived with Ellison was one of the longest periods he remained in one place in his entire life. It's possible he's still earth-bound due to the way he died; a number of hauntings are produced that way."

"That might work as a theory if the case were still open," Donahue replied, "but it's not; six months after the ambush they caught one of the drivers on an unrelated charge. Since it was a third strike, he was more than willing to roll over on his fellow ambushers in exchange for a deal. Some of them confessed in sickeningly graphic detail, and named others. The result was they caught, or in two cases killed, everyone involved, and with the exception of the one driver they all got long prison terms."

"It also doesn't explain the animal tracks," Donner spoke up for the first time, "but I have something that does. Naomi Sandburg let me go through her son's effects, and I found some very interesting things." She produced a large leather book labeled "The Sentinels of Paraguay" and several smaller volumes.

Picking one up and checking to make sure it was the proper one, she handed it to Axon. "This is an outline and journal notes he kept for his second dissertation, titled 'A Study of Closed Societies in Modern Culture', dealing with how police officers distanced themselves from the community as a whole and formed their own social group. It was begun a little over a year after he started his consultation and regularly updated."

She pulled out another small volume. "This is one of several volumes dealing with his original dissertation subject, 'The Sentinel in Modern Society', begun the year before he died and also regularly updated. In it he speaks of a man with hyperacute senses, a genetic anomaly from primitive times that occasionally appears in tribal societies. These people were called 'Sentinels', and were prized by any tribe lucky enough to have one. A Sentinel usually had two Guides: a human one to keep him from 'zoning' -- focusing so intently on one sense he was oblivious to everything else -- as well as watching his back and helping him use his abilities to their best advantage, and a 'spirit guide' in the form of an animal. He claimed Ellison was a Sentinel, and his spirit guide was a black jaguar."

"Cooper said the tracks were a cougar," Axon began, only to be interrupted by the zoologist.

"I said I wasn't sure about that, and further analysis led me to conclude they're jaguar, and not puma."

"What about the wolf prints?" Donahue asked.

"Sandburg mentioned being Ellison's human Guide as well as 'Shaman of the Great City'," continued Donner, "a title apparently bestowed by a shaman of the tribe Ellison had lived with in Peru named Incacha. Police records indicate he and a group of warriors stowed away on a freighter and came to Cascade looking for an oil company executive, to take him back to their tribe for 'crimes against the land'. It was discovered the company was illegally operating in a protected area where the tribe was living. Incacha was killed during this time, but he passed 'the way of the shaman' on before he died. Sandburg also claimed to have a 'spirit guide', in the form of a wolf."

"As I said before," Axon commented, "interesting but not relevant. How does this help us with the case?"

"Maybe they're still earth-bound because they still feel an obligation to protect their 'tribe'," she answered, "either the police department or Cascade as a whole. Maybe Sandburg can't move on unless he passes 'the way of the shaman' on to another, and Ellison refuses to go without him."

"Interesting theories," said the case manager, "but how do you propose we use them to stop the broadcasts?"

"Obviously we need to find somebody in Cascade to replace Sandburg at the very least," Donner pointed out, "and possibly someone for Ellison as well."

"It makes sense," Davidson concurred. "If Ellison and Sandburg are earth-bound because they need replacements, we need to find some as soon as possible. They may be unable to move on otherwise."

"Fine," said Axon, "but how do we find these 'replacements'?"

"We start at the Anthropology Department of Rainier University," Donner said. "There may be someone there doing research on Sentinels or Shamanism, which would give us a shaman. Finding a Sentinel is going to be much harder; Sandburg's notes indicate he spent years looking before finding Ellison through a series of coincidences."

"We don't have years, Lindsay," Axon said. "The Cascade PD wants this stopped now. It's becoming a major disruption in their department."

They were interrupted by a security officer. "Sir, there's an interesting development at the Prospect site."

852 Prospect

1430 Hours

The team arrived at Prospect to discover two people with a very odd claim: they were called to the loft in dreams and visions by two men answering the descriptions of Ellison and Sandburg. The dreams/visions included the spirit guides.

Peter Fa'ola-Ma'atu was an Anthropology student at Rainier, specializing in Polynesian Culture; not difficult, as he was part Hawaiian on his mother's side and Somoan on his father's. He bore the dark coloring and broad features of his parents' races, as well as their size: he stood an even 6' and weighed 200 lbs. The team found it quite interesting his maternal grandmother was a kahuna.

Maxine "Max" Jensen was a Cascade police officer, recently transferred to Personnel from Vice after suffering from severals episodes of "seizures" and complaining of headaches and hallucinations. Medical tests could find no problems. She looked tiny next to Fa'ola-Ma'atu even though she stood 5' 7" and weighed 130 lbs. She had a short cap of curly red hair and jade green eyes.

Separate interviews revealed near-identical stories: both said they'd been having dreams recently of running through a jungle and seeing an animal (wolf for Fa'ola-Ma'atu, jaguar for Jensen) which morphed into a man (Sandburg or Ellison). The animals would then leap out the men's chests and into the dreamer. Then they'd be standing next to each other in front of 852 Prospect. They'd enter the building and go to the loft, where they'd again see the two men and the animals would repeat leaping out of the men and into the dreamers.

"It sounds like they're trying to pass the baton here," Axon said. "Did you find anything when you tested Jensen?"

"All five of her senses appear to be hyperacute," Davidson reported. "It looks like we've found a Sentinel. Oddly enough, she was perfectly normal until a recent case where she was kidnapped and held in a locked closet for 3 days."

"Burton and Sandburg both refer to traumas and/or sensory deprivation as triggers for Sentinel abilities," Donner said.

"All right then," Axon said, "let's go explain it to them."

After explainations were made and (with Naomi Sandburg's permission) Burton's book and Sandburg's journals were given to Fa'ola-Ma'atu, they decided to allow the pair into the loft to see what would happen.

They got far more than they bargained for.

Jensen and Fa'ola-Ma'atu were standing in the middle of the main room when the balcony doors gently opened to admit a soft breeze which swirled around the room stirring up dust devils. The dust devils morphed into a black jaguar and a gray wolf which in turn morphed into Ellison and Sandburg. The two men stood about 10 feet from the pair in the middle of the room, Ellison facing Jensen and Sandburg facing Fa'ola-Ma'atu. Suddenly the spirit guides leaped out of the two men and into Jensen and Fa'ola-Ma'atu. Ellison and Sandburg nodded at their replacements in approval and moved together into a close embrace. A white light began to engulf them, dim at first and brightening to an eye-searing glare no one could look at. When the light faded they were gone.

Case Manager's Log: Final Entry

Since the episode in the loft there have been no further broadcasts from Ellison or Sandburg. Maxine Jensen has been reassigned to the Major Crimes Division under Capt. Simon Banks, and has learned, with the help of Peter Fa'ola-Ma'atu, to control her hyperacute senses and use them in her work. Banks is aware of Jensen's talents, as he was aware of Ellison's, and has received approval for Fa'ola-Ma'atu to consult with the department as Jensen's partner. He has not informed his superiors of Jensen's abilities, and has asked us for descretion in that regard also, saying "If the perps find out about it, or the government, I might as well paint a target on her back. She'd never be safe, and couldn't do her job."

I find myself concurring with that assessment. Case Manager Peter Axon out.

Finis

Did you like it? Hate it? Let me know!!

P. S. Please don't yell at me for the Bigfoot orangutan; I know there's a lot of evidence, including hair samples, to indicate there's an unknown primate roaming the Pacific Northwest, among other places!!