Part 2

Tommy Oliver put his cup down, gave his friends a lopsided grin, and he realized that he more than just a little drunk. Normally, he didn't imbibe in alcohol- for two reasons mainly, the first being that he didn't like being out of control of himself, and the second was that being of Native American descent he knew that that put him at a higher risk of alcoholism- but tonight was just a little different. He and the guys were celebrating- no not celebrating that wasn't right- they were marking a full year since his break-up with Kat. Somehow, each had realized that this was an important marker in Tommy's life and each had made it a point to stop by.

Looking around he realized just how good of friends, he really had. All the male Mighty Morphin' and Zeo Rangers were here with him. All but two that is. Justin was too young, and really didn't understand what this day was all about. The other, well he isn't even on the damn planet. Tommy fought back the hurt that thought brought. Jason had moved back to Angel Grove after finishing the Police Academy and was now a cop on the Angel Grove PD. Last he heard, he and Emily were dating. Rocky and Adam had opened the Black Ape Dojo down at the youth center, and were doing a pretty good business from what he could tell. It also helped that both men had picked up some extra work in Hollywood as stunt doubles and every now and again bit parts in movies. Adam and Kim had become something of an item when she returned last year from Florida. Zack had flown all the way in from Germany where he now worked as and attaché to the American Embassy. It seemed his experience at the Youth Peace Conference had really paid off for the former Black Ranger. He said that he was on vacation, but Tommy got the feeling that maybe he'd pulled in a few favors to time his vacation so perfectly.

Jase held up his glass, and from the look in his eyes, Tommy could tell that he wasn't the only person in the room on the shy side of sober. He smiled, looked around the room, and said, "To absent friends."

"Absent friends," Tommy smiled, as he realized just how much he missed some of those friends. Aiesha, now in Africa was out of touch most of the time, and Tommy found himself wondering fairly often how her quest to save the animals was coming. Trini's absence left a hole in his heart that he wasn't sure ever would be filled again. Looking down at the drink in his hand, he felt just a little guilty over remembering that she died when a drunk driver ran her car off the road. Then there was Billy.

The young scientist had left for Aquitar what seemed like ages ago to heal from the effects of rapid aging. He'd sent word back that he'd found true love in the person of Delphina one of the scientists with which he'd worked and was staying on the Aquitar- a claim that for some reason always rang false to Tommy. He always felt that he'd somehow failed the Blue Ranger by not finding a cure on Earth for him. Looking around, he casually asked Jason, "Speaking of absent
friends, has anyone heard from Billy lately?"

Jason and Adam looked at each other guiltily, and then shook their heads, "uh. no."

Tommy had been a liar long enough in his life to recognize one when he heard one, especially from two men unused to lying. He smiled inwardly and made a mental note to ask Jase what was up with it, before replying with a shrug, "Well, if by some miracle anyone does, tell him I said hello." That sounded neutral enough.

"Will do," Rocky replied in his ever-cheerful manner. Tommy mentally wondered if the guy ever had a down day in his life. Finally, the tall Hispanic man turned and looked Tommy dead in they eye, and the former White Ranger got the distinct feeling that what followed wasn't as off handed as it sounded, "Now that it's been a year, does that mean we can stop walking on eggshells around you about Kat?"

Tommy chuckled, "You'd better believe it. You guys didn't have to walk on eggshells anyway. Kat and I buried our hatchet a long time ago." It was the truth too. They'd discussed what wasn't there between them- what hadn't really been there with Kimberly too- and decided to go their separate ways amicably. Everybody else however, decided that it was some great tragedy that Tommy found love and lost it once again, and had treated the whole thing with a lot more drama than he was ever comfortable with. This party was a good example. He was happy just marking the day, not one of loss, but of freedom and the beginnings of self-exploration and going on. Adam with his keen sense of the romantic had quietly called all their friends together and arranged for each of them to stop by and cheer Tommy up. He wouldn't have been surprised to find out that the former Black Ranger had done the same for Kat too. Not that Tommy was the least bit sad. His regrets had nothing to do with Kat- or Kim for that matter- but lay in a completely different direction.

Rocky gave him a big goofy grin, that was just a little vacant-eyed from one too many PBRs, "Good, because I was thinking of asking her out," looking over at Tommy, "with your permission of course."

There was a quiet pause, as the other Rangers except Jase- something else Tommy would have to ask his Best Bro about- looked at Tommy awaiting some kind of outburst, and then back at Rocky unbelievingly. Tommy just smiled, as he realized where the tension from the rest of the room was coming, and replied, "Go for it man. I hope you can make her happier than I could." Then patting him on the shoulder, "And she can make you happier than she made me." Let them think about that for a while. After all, Tommy had spent a great deal of this last year on a journey of self-discovery.

*

After that, the party settled down into reminiscing about old adventures with the Rangers. Jase settled back and watched his closest friend very carefully. The news he was carrying was difficult at best, and not something he was likely to broach casually with somebody like Tommy. There were some things you just didn't come out and tell a guy without some serious building up, and a whole lot of alcohol involved. This one was right up there near the top of the list.

He sat back and listened to various tales of the different Ranger incarnations, and even shared a few stories himself. Most of all, he sat and brooded. He smiled when it was appropriate, and went through the polite motions of conventional conversation with this most unconventional gathering of friends, but his heart wasn't in it. What he was going to tell Tommy tonight could very easily end their friendship, and he wasn't sure was ready for that. It had to be done though.

Jason lingered behind long after the other guests had left. He helped Tommy with the general clean-up around the house and waited for the right moment. Finally, deciding that there was no right moment for what he had to say, he just simply put an arm on Tommy's shoulder and said, "Tom, Bro, we need to talk." He pointed to the sofa and continued, "I've got something to tell you, and I'm not sure how well you're going to take it. Why don't we sit down."

Tommy gave him a confused look, but sat across from him on the sofa, and said, "Go ahead, Bro. Shoot."

Jason took a deep breath before beginning. Tommy could see his friend struggle with what he was going to say. He understood that because he'd spent a great deal of time during the last year sorting out his own emotions. He'd finally begun to see the edges of peace of mind, and that was only after some very long struggles with feelings he neither wanted nor understood. Jason was a lot like Tommy, he'd rather act than think, especially when it came to emotions. After a long silence, Jason began, "I guess this is about you, although not really." He smiled wryly, "I mean it concerns you, but isn't really about you, it's about." He stopped, not able to go on.

"Spit it out Bro," Tommy smiled and told him, "I promise I'm not going to get mad."

Jason just looked up with those dark midnight eyes and chuckled, "Don't count on it." He sighed, leaned back, and changed the subject, "By the way, I lied, earlier."

"I know," Tommy replied. "Why?"

"Because I'm not sure how you'd take the news that Billy was back on Earth."

"He's back, that's great!" Tommy exclaimed excitedly, "How is he? When did he get back?" Then realizing exactly what Jase had said, he stopped short and asked more seriously, "Exactly why were you concerned about how I would take that?" He wondered if the other Rangers thought he was mad at Billy or something.

"Because we knew that you took it pretty personally that we couldn't find a cure of Billy here." Jason gave him and inscrutable look before continuing, "Because, Bro, you have this tendency to take anything that goes wrong to be your fault. You're Mister Guilt Incarnate, and we didn't want to open any old wounds." He paused and took a deep breath and then said more softly, "And because Billy asked us not to."

Tommy felt like Jase had punched him in the gut. Billy didn't want him to know that he was back on Earth. Why? Did he sense something that the others didn't? Did Billy hate him for it? He fought for control of his voice as he asked, "Why?" Jase stood up and walked to the fireplace. Taking a picture of the first Ranger team down from the mantelpiece, Jason paused for long moments as Tommy stared at his friend's broad back. Tommy could feel the conflict in Jason from across the room, and knew that something was tormenting him. He asked, he almost pleaded, "Jase, Bro, talk to me. Why didn't Billy want me to know he was back?"

Jase finally turned and looked up from the picture, "Are you really that blind, Tommy?" He could see the hurt in Jason's eyes. "Do you really not know what Billy was going through at the end?"

Tommy shook his head, "He was sick, I know that." Tommy protested. That had been a difficult time for him too. He was just starting to realize what those feelings he'd been struggling with were doing to him. He'd tried to lose himself in his relationship with Kat.

Jason leaned back and crossed his arms, "That's not what I'm talking about. Do you have any idea what he was going through emotionally?" There was a hardness to Jase's voice that brought Tommy up short. "Do you have any idea what we were putting him through?" then more softly, "What he was putting himself through?"

Tommy stopped and thought about what was going on with the Rangers when Billy had left. It wasn't long after the Command Center had been destroyed- they were all upset about that, and then Billy had started aging rapidly, and left for Aquitar. He'd never really sat down with the young genius to ask him about how he was coping. He didn't trust himself enough to do that.

Jason sighed, "I don't know how to tell you this, Bro. I don't even know if I should tell you this, it's not my place to say, but it needs to be said." He locked eyes with Tommy before continuing, and
Tommy felt his gut slowly twist into knots from the look on Jason's face, "Billy stayed on Aquitar to get away from you."

Tommy was stunned. Did the Blue Ranger really hate him that much? Would he be willing to leave the planet so as to not breathe the same air as him? "But what about the girl, Delphine?"

Jason corrected him, "Cestria, Delphine was the commander of the Aquitarian Rangers." He smiled, "But it's easy to get them confused."

"What ever," Tommy replied- he didn't want to think about the Aquitarian then, or now. "What about her? Didn't he say that he'd finally met the "right person."

Jason chuckled and shook his head, "I'm beginning to see what Adam meant. You really were so caught up in your own drama that you couldn't see what happening in front of you- not that you didn't have a right to be, but this was important." He walked over and put a hand on Tommy's shoulder, "Tom, Bill left because he couldn't stand to watch you with Kat any more."

Tommy never knew that Billy had any feelings for the Pink Ranger. He'd always been so quiet, so unobtrusive. Not, that Tommy had been not paying attention to Billy- quite to the contrary; he just hadn't seen the attraction the Blue Ranger might have had to Kat. However, Jason was right about one thing, he had been so caught up with the turbulent emotions that were tearing him apart at that time, he'd never noticed anything out of the ordinary from Billy. Of course Billy's own inscrutable nature had made it difficult to read him anyway- and that was the crux of Tommy's dilemma. "Billy was in love with Kat?" Tommy asked.

Jason shook his head, "No, he was or is in love with you." Jason had the look of a man who was awaiting his doom as he continued, "Billy's not the kind of person to push things, and he doesn't think he has a chance with you." He paused and shrugged, "Me? I'm not so sure." Tommy sat down in shock. How could he have missed this? How could he have been so blind? Jason put a hand on his shoulder and asked cautiously, "Am I wrong?"

Jason watched Tommy carefully. Telling one of your best friends that another of your friends, another man, loved him was not the kind of thing one did lightly, or easily- especially when that friend was a sixth dan black belt. "Look, I'm breaking a trust telling you this. Bill asked me not to say anything, to let it pass, but I can't sit and watch two of my closest friends, two men I love like brothers, tear themselves apart over something that neither can control." He stopped and sighed, "Am I wrong Tommy? Does he have a chance? Because if he doesn't I'll forget this conversation ever happened."

Tommy looked up at him, and he could see the surprise in his friend's eyes. Jason suspected that what the others were calling Tommy's moodiness over the past year wasn't so much that, as it was some kind of attempt to understand a conflict inside the former Ranger leader. He'd made it a point to just be there for his friend, not push, just let him come to his own conclusions, but after what Bill told him earlier today he realized it was time to act, before the Blue Ranger did something foolish. Finally, Tommy said in a low voice, "What if you're not?"

Jason wasn't surprised by the question, he knew that Tommy tended to brood on important questions, to think them out carefully, and even internalize them more than he should. That was what made him such a great leader for the Power Rangers, better than even he had been. He cared about his team, and his friends. That was what was making this final step so hard. He answered, "What do you mean; what if you're not? What are you worried about Tom Oliver?"

Tommy leaned back against the sofa and sighed himself, "I mean what would that do us Bro?" <Oh God, please tell me that Tom's not in love with me! I don't think I could stand doing that to Bill- not take the Gold Powers from him and then take Tommy too.> Jason had is own issues of guilt to reconcile about Billy's leaving the planet- about the way things turned out when Billy gave Tanya the Yellow Zeo crystal instead of taking it himself.

"What do you mean; us, Bro?" he asked carefully.

"I mean our friendship, Jase," the pleading look he gave Jason sent shivers down his spine. "How would you feel to find out that. . ., that your best friend had the hots for other guys?"

Jason gave a sigh of relief, "Are you asking me if I wouldn't be your friend anymore, if it would cause me to treat you any different?" Tommy only nodded. So, that was what this was about. Tommy didn't want to lose his friends, "I'll tell you this much, if you do have the same feelings for Bill as he does for you, and you don't do something about it- and I find out about it, then that'll cause more problems between us than anything the two of you might develop ever would. That would be cruel, cruel to yourself, and cruel to Billy, and I don't think you're a cruel person, Tommy."

"Huh?" Tommy asked.

Jason leaned forward and put a hand out to his friend. He put it as simply and direct as he could. "The only way it would change things between you and me, is that I'd start asking you both to dinner than just one at a time." He shook his head, "Do you think that knowing Bill is gay has made a difference between us all these years?"

That surprised Tommy. He leaned back and considered Jason's answer. Jase had known Bill was gay for a long time. "How long?"

"How long what?" Jase asked, "How long have I known Bill is gay? How long I've known that he's been quietly carrying a torch for you, or how long have I suspected that you might feel the same way?"

This was a lot for Tommy to digest. His past year of self- examination was suddenly coming to a head. Understanding the feelings that were tearing him apart had been a long journey. Now finding out that he didn't have to go through this alone, and that his best friend had known was more than a little sobering- and in his current condition that in itself was a feat. "All three."

Tommy watched as Jason smiled and he realized just how close he and the first Red Ranger had become over the years. He was glad that he had a friend he could talk with like this, who would listen without being judgmental. He mentally kicked himself for not talking to Jason earlier. Jason told him, "I've known Bill was gay since we just after it became evident that you and Kim were going to be an item." Jase made little quotation marks with his fingers at the last word. "He got really moody, and snappy. I've known him since we were eight, and he doesn't get that way except when it comes to his feelings. Finally, I sat him down and we talked. Actually, once he got started it all just spilled out of him. He was afraid I was going to throw him over for you as a friend. He was afraid that you'd beat him up if you found out. And he was afraid that Kim would hate him." Jase smiled at him, "You see, even though Billy was a mental giant, he was still very much a little boy emotionally. He tended to bottle things up until they exploded out of him. It was one of those times. I promised never to say anything to you- a promise I'm breaking now, mind you- and I made it clear that he wouldn't lose my friendship over it."

Tommy thought about what Jason was saying, "Why did he think I would beat him up?" God, he'd never had hit Billy to save his life. He'd rather cut off his own arm first.

"Think about it Tom, most of us didn't know you very well back then. You were still the mysterious and very brooding Green Ranger- a real tough guy. That was just a little scary to him." Jase laughed, "And I guess it had its charm too, because he had it pretty bad for you too."

"I. . . , I never knew," Tommy replied. He realized that he'd been so caught up in his own emotional turmoil, that he'd never realized that the very person he couldn't get out of his system was going through the same thing. He was so busy hiding behind the tough-guy, 'I don't care' persona that he totally missed out on Billy's own fight for understanding. "And how long have you thought that. . .?"

Jason smiled at him, "Only the past year or so, I guess." He leaned back, "Kat, Kim, and I had a long talk one night, not long after you guys broke up. You know those two really have turned out to be good friends. Not something I really expected. Most women who've dated the same guy tend not to be that close, and almost never do they stay friends with the guy. I guess what we've all been through lets us break some of the rules." Jason was right about the girls. They had every reason in the world to hate each other with the proverbial pink passion, but they didn't. Instead, they were very close friends, and had drawn even closer after Trini's death. Jason continued, "Anyway, we got to talking, about being Rangers, about our friends, and about you. They kept saying the same thing about you. How, although you'd always been attentive, your heart just never seemed to be in the relationship- as if you were looking for something that they couldn't give. It reminded me of what Billy had said about his few attempts of dating girls."

"And that made you think I might be gay?" Tommy asked, hoping he didn't sound too brusque.

Jase smiled at him, "Well, are you?" Jason wasn't going to let him off the hook.

Tommy sighed and leaned back. If he was going to tell this, then by the Power he was going to tell it all. He took a deep breath and began, "You know I grew up in a series of foster homes before Mom and Dad adopted me?" He didn't wait for Jason to answer. Tommy had long past stopped referring to his adoptive parents as the Olivers. That in itself had been a major turning point in his life. A point when he'd began to slow down in running away from the things that he was. "Well, let's just say I wasn't the easiest kid to raise. To put it simply, before I came to Mom and Dad, I was a trouble-maker, a bully, and on the fast track to prison. You know; Go directly to Jail, do not pass Go, do not collect two hundred dollars. Mom and Dad did a lot to turn that around. It took them a while and a whole lot of tough love, but they managed to at least to get me to stop running from myself."

Tommy sighed, remembering those early days when he was so afraid of being hurt again, of being abandoned and turned back over to Family Services that he lashed out at anything that tried to get close to him. "I decided that I was going to hurt the world before it hurt me. My parents had been more than patient with me. Hell, Dad had even taken a job out of LA to get me into a quieter neighborhood. It worked too, I guess." Tommy couldn't argue that Angel Grove hadn't been good for him. "Well, about the time I started getting my act to together, the whole thing with Rita started. When that was over, I felt so horrible, like every bad thing I ever believed about myself was true. Then you guys rescued me." He stopped and looked at Jason swallowing the hard lump in his throat. These memories were some of his hardest to relive, some of the hardest for him put into words, but for some reason he felt he needed to explain himself to Jase. "If it hadn't been for you, Billy, Kim, and the rest, I don't think I would have made it. Between you guys and my parents, I started to realize that I didn't have to hurt other people to protect myself."

"Man, we knew you belonged with us. We could feel it from the start, and we weren't about to let Rita have you." Jason replied simply and from the depths of his heart.

"I know, it just took me a while to figure that out," Tommy told him as he reached deep down in himself and dug out what he'd been feeling then. He'd never tried to put it into words before, but now knew it was time to do it. "The problem was, that once I stopped running from myself, trying to protect myself from being hurt, I started having these other feelings. I'd seen what happened to guys other people thought were gay. I wasn't about to have that happened to me. I mean, I was the Green Ranger for God's sake!" Tommy blushed as he realized how that sounded. "That was just a little conceited wasn't it."

Jason laughed, "Just a little."

Tommy chuckled, "Well, I figured that if I could just BE with a girl, it would change things. That what I was feeling was just frustration, and general teenage horniness." Tommy blushed deeply with shame as he admitted, "Then Kimberly came along." He could see the hackles on the back of Jason's neck rise.

"Bro, that ain't right." Jase told him evenly.

Tommy nodded, "I know, I know, and you have no idea how sorry I am about it."

"Does Kim know?"

Tommy shook his head, "There's no real need for her to. Nothing ever happened between her and me. Nothing serious I mean." He sighed, "But Kat, . . .," he let the words hang.

"Tom!" Jase protested.

"I thought I loved her, Jase. I really did," Tommy explained. "I thought that if I just loved her enough that what I was feeling about Billy would go away. That it would just become like what you and I have." He shook his head, tears rolling down his face. It was hard to admit that he'd used Kat like that, that he'd used himself, but he realized it had to be done. If his healing was going to be complete, if his honesty with himself and the universe was going to be real then he had to admit that he'd used his friend that way. "Then Bill got sick, and HE went away. But the feelings didn't." Tommy looked up at his oldest friend, unable to read what he saw in those deep midnight eyes. "Just before we broke up, Kat and I talked about it, talked about everything. She was hurt, but she was willing to forgive me." He sighed, "But only if I took some time off, at least a year to come to grips with myself."

Jason leaned back, the tension gone from his body. His voice still had a controlled evenness to it that hurt Tommy just a little, "So that's what this whole year of self exploration has been about?"

Tommy nodded, and they sat there for long minutes in silence. Finally, Jason said, "What are you going to do now?"

Tommy wondered what his friend was talking about, "What do you mean?"

"I mean what have you learned from this year of contemplation? Are you gay? Do still feel that way about Billy?" He leaned forward and there was a seriousness to his voice that chilled Tommy's blood, "Because I'll tell you this much Tom. You've gone through two Pink Rangers, two of my friends. You may be my best bud, my Bro, but if you decide to pursue things with Billy, I want you to be damn sure this isn't just another phase. If you and Bill are meant to be together, I'll dance for joy at your wedding, or your commitment ceremony or what ever you decide to do. But, if this is just another part of your explorations, and you hurt him, I'll beat you to death with a shovel."

Tommy was shocked at the intensity in Jason's voice. He wasn't sure just how much of what he was saying was hyperbole, and about how much he was serious. He knew one thing was certain, and said so, "I want to talk to Billy about it. I want to see if he really feels the same way I do." He sighed, "and to apologize for hurting him."

Jason leaned back in his chair and smiled. "That's fair enough. But I'm going to warn you about something."

"I know, I know, don't hurt him. I think I've done enough of that," Tommy told him.

Jason chuckled, "That's not what I mean. We already covered that ground. What I mean is Billy isn't the same man that left here four years ago." He shook his head, "Almost dying has done something to him, changed his outlook on life a bit, no a lot. Recovering cost him even more. Don't expect the shy boy who left for Aquitar. Don't get me wrong, he's still quiet, but it's quiet strength now, not a quiet shyness."

"Aquitar changed him that much?" Tommy asked.

Jason shook his head, "Not Aquitar, Phaedos."

"I thought he went to Aquitar to heal," Tommy protested.

"He did," Jason told him. "But it didn't work. Two months after his transmission saying good-bye, he started aging again. Finally he went to Phaedos, to the Healing Lands to recover." Jason smiled, "He's spent the past three and a half years studying the Ninjetti ruins there, and training with Dulcea."

"Training with Dulcea? Why training with Dulcea?" Tommy asked confused. Phaedos was not a safe place for someone who was sick. He remembered Dulcea's words about those who'd come to Phaedos to get the Great Power. <.the grounds are littered with the bones of those who have tried for it and failed.>

"He had to reconnect with his Ninjetti Spirit Animal to be able to access the Healing Lands. Part of the reconnection included some rather intense training. As he put it, he spent his mornings meditating in the Healing Lands, his afternoons studying the Ninjetti ruins, and his evenings having Dulcea beat him until he could beat back," Jason told him. "It's made him a very different man. He's much more in control of himself, and there is power there that wasn't in him before." Jason chuckled, "I sparred with him a couple of days ago, and he wiped up the dojo with me." He sighed "I'm just saying, don't expect him to be the same guy you knew four years ago."

That made Tommy wonder, "If he's more sure of himself, why is he afraid to face me? Why didn't he come here tonight?"

Tommy watched as Jason considered his questions, "I think that you should ask him that yourself." He took a deep breath and continued, "But think of it this way. If you were in love with someone, and they were marking a year of being single, how would it make you feel to attend a day marking that year?"

Tommy realized what Jason was trying to tell him. Billy didn't want to seem like a vulture waiting something to die. "I see what you mean." He thought for a few seconds and asked, "Could you, would you set it up for us to meet, to talk?"

Jason smiled and answered, "Would tomorrow night be okay with you- my house, eight o'clock for dinner? It's sort of a Ranger reunion for Billy. So far the only people who know he's back are me, you and Adam. Since Zack is in town, I thought it might be a good chance for us all to get together, and catch up with old times. Everybody will be there." Tommy noticed that Jason didn't add "those still alive at least."

Tommy smiled, "I'll be there."

Part 3

Author's note: I'm unsure if Tommy is a stock car driver or an Indy car driver, so being a boy from Hueytown Alabama, I'm going with what I know.


Tommy realized that for the first time in his life he was actually on time for something as he knocked on Jase's kitchen door and went in. Jase, Zack, and Kimberly were sitting at the table
having coffee and talking quietly. "Hey guys," he said, "Is Billy ready yet?"

Jason smiled at him, "He's getting dressed. We really weren't expecting you until seven," glancing up at the clock he looked back over at Tommy and demanded, "Okay, what did you do with the real Tommy Oliver?"

"Look, I know it's rare but I am on time occasionally," Tommy protested.

The other three looked at each other and Kimberly smiled, "First I've heard of it." She winked at Jason, "He was never on time for a date with me."

Jason smiled back, ignoring Tommy, "According Kat, he was never on time for a date with her either."

Zack piped up with a smile, "Must be true love," he looked over at Tommy and held up one of Billy's portable scanners, "or a clone." The device hummed for a second as Zack checked it, "Nope, no clone."

Tommy felt the blood rise in his face, "What, did you two come over to do, watch or something?"

"Actually, we came over to make sure of your intentions young man," Zack said in his best imitation of is own father. "Exactly what are you plans this evening? Where are you going, and what time will you be home?"

Jason added in his own imitation of Mr. Scott, "Yes, young Mr. Oliver, exactly what are your intentions toward Bill?"

Tommy touched the side of his face and pitched his voice just a little higher than his usual baritone, "Well, I thought we'd go to dinner, then the movies, and then down to the lake to watch the submarine races and a little necking."

"Tommy!" Kim protested.

Tommy smiled broadly, "You guys started it." He sat down at the table, "How the hell do I know what we're going to do besides dinner. I have never been on a date with guy before."

"That's okay, Tom," Billy's voice came from the doorway, "neither have I." He looked over at his friends sitting at the table with Tommy, "And I most certainly have never had one with an audience." Tommy couldn't get over how good the former Blue Ranger looked. Dressed in a pair of khaki slacks with white and blue striped button down, he looked like a model from GQ. Tommy was really starting to like the ponytail- it was giving him some ideas about running his fingers through it… … …

"Hey, we're not an audience," Jason protested, breaking Tommy's chain of thought. "We're… … … ,"

"You're being a big bro, Jason," his eyes softened, "and believe it or not, it's appreciated." He sighed and looked over at Tommy as his face turned bright red, "But, I'm sure Tom will agree with me, this is difficult enough without the added pressure of that big brother checking out my dates."

Kim smiled, "You guys did it Tommy when we started dating," she protested.

Billy gave her an enigmatic look, and Tommy wasn't sure if he didn't see just a little discomfort in his eyes. "The difference is, that at that time we didn't know Tommy that well." He smiled, "Besides, of whom are you approving? It's not like you haven't known me for most of our lives, and Tommy is as good a friend as they come to all of us." He put his hands on his hips and teased the former Pink and Red Rangers, "So who're you checking on? Because, I've got news for you, I'm a big boy and am fully capable of attending to my own defenses." He looked over at Tommy and actually winked at him, "Besides, if Tom decides to attack me, there's no resisting the fabled White Ranger. After all, he saved the whole team by himself all those times, so even the three of us combined wouldn't stand a chance against him."

"Hey!" Tommy protested, "I wasn't that bad!"

Billy smiled at him, "Yes, you were." Tommy could sense nothing but good-natured teasing in Billy's voice without a trace of sarcasm, "There were times when I wondered why Zordon kept the rest of us around. We never could defeat the monsters until after you showed up."

"Because we needed each other," Tommy told him seriously. He and Jase had once had a long talk about how there for a while; it was as if Tommy was a one man team. No matter what happened, the five other team members couldn't beat what ever Rita or Zed sent down until the whole team was there. Eventually, things got back to normal, but there were times when he felt like he was the center character in some kind of sick action/drama.

Billy smiled at him, "I know Tom. Actually I have a few theories of my own about that," he seemed to study Tom for long moments, and Tommy wasn't sure if his gaze was scientific, or amorous, "Maybe I'll share them with you sometime."

Tommy looked up at the clock and smiled, "Well, we can stand here all day and talk, or we can go eat." He looked over at Jason, and the others, "If that's okay with you guys?"

Zack leaned back, taking the coffee pot from the counter. Pouring himself another cup, he said, "Who us? We don't have any say in anything." Smiling he added, "Except one lump or two."

Tommy grinned at him and punched him playfully in the arm. For just a moment, he felt like he was seventeen again, "I'll give you a lump." Looking up at Billy, he said, "You ready?"

He watched Billy smile, "Yeah. We'd better get out of here, or they'll decide to join us."

*

Half an hour later, the two men were seated across from each other at one of those cozy little family-owned restaurants every city of any size has. The kind where the atmosphere is just right, the service always good, and the food fantastic, until somebody writes about it in the local paper and it goes down hill. Tommy was having a hard time believing that he was actually going through with this. He was actually on a date with a guy- not just any guy either, but the guy he'd been trying to hide his feelings for from himself since he was seventeen. "Look, I'm sorry about that scene back a Jase's," he told his blond companion, more out of an attempt to have something to say than any real need to apologize. He understood that his friends were only teasing.

"It was rather difficult," Billy reached up for the glasses that weren't there, telling Tommy volumes with that single gesture. Primarily, that Billy was as nervous as he was. "It was somewhat disconcerting to have an audience for something like this. As I understand it, this kind of step is usually taken in private, not with three of your oldest friends watching and offering advice."

Tommy found himself chuckling, unable to get over the weirdness of the situation, and the idea of him being here. He caught himself trying not to stare at Billy, but a three-year absence made it difficult. He hadn't been lying when he said that the former Blue Ranger's absence had left a hole in his life- one that he didn't intend to allow to open up again. He sighed and leaned back and asked, "What are your plans?" he asked neutrally.

Billy sighed, "I'm not sure just yet. A lot depends on other factors, right now." Leaning forward on the table his voice became serious, "Why did you ask me out Tommy?"

Tommy was taken off guard by the question, and without thinking he gave an honest answer, "Because, I've always wanted to. Because I was afraid that if I didn't do it now, I might not ever get the chance to."

He watched as Billy considered his answer for long moments, his blue-green eyes shining in the soft light of the restaurant. Finally, he asked, "If you always wanted to, then why didn't you ask earlier?" his gaze piercing Tommy to the soul.

"Because I was afraid," he leaned forward, "Because I was scared that you'd laugh at me, or that it would hurt our friendship." He shrugged, and remembered his promise to himself about honesty, "And I guess, because I was afraid of what it meant about me." Then he realized something, and put the ball in Billy's court, "What about you? Why didn't YOU ask ME out?"

Billy smiled as if he realized what Tommy had just done, "For the same reasons mostly, although I dealt with being gay a long time ago." He chuckled, "I suppose my penchant for over analyzing an issue applies to the personal as well. Plus at the time you were dating one of my closest friends, and I would never had done that to her." He smiled, "Besides, when I first noticed you, and believe me I noticed you, you were still somewhat a tough guy. I didn't want to get pounded."

"I wasn't that bad," Tommy protested, but knew that was exactly the image he'd cultivated to try to hide what he was feeling. "I tried to deny it for the longest. To hide what I was feeling," he told Billy. "It was easy around Zack, and Rocky. They're nice guys, even good-looking, but for some reason I just never found them that attractive. With Jase, he was my best bud, the guy I take turns with using for a punching bag when one of us is upset- not boyfriend material. Besides, he's straight as an arrow. Adam," he smiled, "he was a little different. I don't know what it is about you shy quiet types, but there's something about you that makes me want to sweep you up, take you home, coat you in chocolate and munch my way to the best parts." That last statement just popped out before Tommy realized what he was saying.

Billy laughed, "Sounds like an enjoyable endeavor, albeit a rather fattening one." Sighing he sipped his iced-tea before continuing, "So it was me or Adam?"

Tommy shook his head afraid Billy misunderstood him. He quickly clarified, "No, it was never a choice between you or Adam, I just said he was attractive."

Billy leaned across the table, "To be honest, Tom this is completely unexpected. I had no idea that you too were experiencing same-gender attractions and had no hope at all that I would be the focus of such attractions."

Tommy smiled at him realizing that this conversation was definitely coming from Billy's heart. He only began to use his full vocabulary when he was nervous or dealing with his feelings. It's not that Tommy didn't understand the words- quite the contrary, Tommy wasn't stupid- it's he was unused to hearing them strung together like that. Finally, he said," Bill, your degenerating into the Billy- speak again."

Billy blushed and said, "Sorry. I tend to do that, when I'm nervous." Smiling he continued, "As I was saying, the idea that you might reciprocate my affection came as a complete surprise to me."

Tommy relaxed. Jason had been right. They'd at least cleared the air on that much. He took a deep breath and asked, "Now what?"

Billy smiled, "I'm not sure. You've more experience with relationships than I." He shrugged, "I'm not sure what happens next." Then with a wicked gleam in his eyes he said, "although your chocolate suggestion does have a certain amount of merit."

Tommy leaned forward, "Billy, what I'm asking is; are you going to be around for there to BE a next thing? Are you heading off to Phaedos permanently?"

Billy gave him a confused look and asked, "Whatever gave you that idea?"

"Adam said you were planning to move there permanently. He thinks you're running from yourself." Tommy repeated what the former Black Ranger had told him.

Billy shook his head, "I DO have to go back to Phaedos, but not permanently. I'm not sure how Adam got the impression that I was moving there permanently. All I said was that there was a lifetime's worth of work there. That I'd love to do it, and that one day soon I was going to have to get started on it." He shook his head, "But I don't have to move there permanently to do it. Believe me, I do not want Dulcea's job."

"What could possibly be so interesting about that bunch of ruins?" Tommy asked.

Billy smiled, "Besides it being the Homeworld of whoever built the Morphin' Grid?" He checked to make sure nobody was listening before leaning in close to continue. "I've made some rather startling discoveries about the nature of the Great Power, and have even been able to formulate some pretty extensive working hypothesis' about how the various Power Ranger teams came into
being." He stopped and looked at Tommy, "Back to YOUR question; do you want me to be there for the next thing or is this just an attempt to settle things for yourself one way or the other."

"I wouldn't have asked you out if I wasn't interested, Billy." Tommy protested. "To turn your question back on you, do you want to be there for the next thing?"

Billy laughed and said, "Touché." Sighing he leaned back, and once again considered the question before saying, "Tommy, I'm not Kimberly or Kat."

"I know…" Tommy tried to protest.

"Hear me out Tom," he interrupted, holding up a hand, "What I'm saying is that I care about you, even love you, but having a relationship with me won't be like one with Kimberly or Kat." He smiled and joked. "For one thing, I won't fit into that little pink skirt."

Tommy couldn't help but chuckle, "I'm not looking to replace Kim or Kat, Billy. They are two very important women in my life, and I'll always love both of them very much, but they aren't what I need. They aren't what I want."

"What makes you think I am?" Billy asked. "What makes you think that I'd be good for you?"

"I don't know, Bill," Tommy told him. "Somehow it just seems right though. I can feel it in my bones."

Billy smiled at him and teased, "Tommy, there's no bone there."

It took a moment to catch what the former Blue Ranger meant by that remark, and upon realizing it Tommy blushed deeply. "That's not what I mean, Billy. I mean, I've done a lot of thinking over the past year, and have come to realize that I've loved you for a long time. I don't know why, maybe it's a case of opposites attracting, but I do know what I'm feeling- have felt for a long time for you isn't like anything I ever felt before."

Billy seemed content with that answer, and Tommy got the feeling that for some reason getting it right the first time with Billy was going to be important. Again, they sat for long minutes. Finally, Billy spoke up, "Have you considered what this might do to your career Tommy?" He smiled, "Let's face it, NASCAR fans aren't exactly known for embracing the concept of gay men. If you come out publicly it could cost you your fan base."

Tommy had considered that. He'd spent more than enough time in the pit to know how most of the racers and crew would accept something like that. Although, he didn't expect to have any problems from his own crew, he knew that his fan base would probably crumble- for a while at least. He was willing to take that chance, "I have. Trust me, I know about NASCAR fans. I can handle it."

"Good," Billy told him. Reaching out, he took Tommy's hand, "Tom, I'm willing to give it a shot." Looking around he added, "God knows I've wanted to give it a shot since you started dating Kim. I just wanted you to make sure that you knew what you were getting into. Being a researcher, the fact that I'm gay won't make a lot of difference, but being a race car driver is a different story."

"Then you'll go out with me again?" Tommy asked hesitantly.

"As long as you don't turn into a lug wrench and attack Angel Grove in the next few hours, yes." Billy told him. Then smiling wickedly, "But, I am NOT putting on that pink skirt!"