Title: Hands Clean

Author: Christen

purplehaysc@netscape.net

Fandom: Once and Again

Disclaimer: these characters belong to once and again except any characters you don’t recognize

Distribution: Take it, but let me know. If you have any of my other fics, go ahead.

Comments: email me all you comments and suggestions. This is my second once and again fan fic but my first August/Grace fic so any ideas or comments you have would be great. So please email me with them. J



Hands Clean
By Christen

“Bye dad, Bye Tiffany. I promise I’ll take good care of Mady.” Grace said as she tried to push Jake and Tiffany out the door.

“You sure? I mean if you’re not sure…” Jake started to say.

“Dad! Please just go, I’ll take good care of Mady I promise.” Grace said pleading.

“Come on Jake, I’ve been wanting go out for a long time.” Tiffany said as she dragged him off.

Grace closed the door with a sigh. “Finally.” She said and she went and got the phone. She dialed his number. “Hey they’re gone so come up, ok?” Grace giggled. “Come up or am I going to have to drag you up here?” Grace laughed again. “Get you ass up here now!” Grace said as she put the phone down and turned on the radio. “Hands Clean” Came on the radio.



“Ooh this could be messy
But you don't seem to mind
Ooh don't go telling everybody
And overlook this supposed crime”


There was a knock on the door and Grace ran to answer it. When she opened it, she smiled. “So you decided to come up.”

He entered. “Well I thought that you might actually want to see me. Was I wrong?”

“No, not at all.” She said as she kissed him.

“Well now this I could get use to.” He said smiling. “So what’s the excuse this time?” He asked as he sat down on the couch.

“What’s that suppose to me?” She asked.

“It means that Grace you are in college and we shouldn’t have to be sneaking around like this any more.”

“Oh Augustine please don’t…” Grace said pleading.

“I’m sorry I know I’m just glad to be with you.” He said.

“Me too, now come on.” Grace said as she led Augustine in to the bedroom.

“What about your little sister?” He asked as he sat down on the bed.

“I have the monitor on, we’ll hear her, that’s if we aren’t too loud.” She said smiling.

“Well we’ll work on that.” He said laughing as he kissed her.



“We'll fast forward to a few years later
And no one knows except the both of us
And I have honored your request for silence
And you've washed your hands clean of this”



Title: Hands Clean 2

“You're essentially an employee and I like you having to depend on me

You're kind of my protégé and one day you'll say you learned all you know from me

I know you depend on me like a young thing would to a guardian

I know you sexualize me like a young thing would and I think I like it”

“Hey I’m looking for Short Story Writing Class.” Grace asked a passing student.

“Room 109, down that way.” The person answered back.

Grace grabbed her books and headed to the classroom. She opened the door and saw no one in the classroom. “I must be early.” She said aloud as she took the front seat. It was her first day of classes of her freshman year and she was lost most of the time.

“Excuse me I think you’re early.” The teacher said to Grace.

The second Grace heard that voice a chill was sent down her back. She turned and faced him. “Mr. Dimitri?”

He looked at her shocked. “Grace… um what are you doing here?”

“I’m in this class. You work here?” She asked shocked.

“Well yes, I’m sorry I didn’t know you were coming here…” He started to say.

“Don’t be… it kind of a nice surprise.” Grace said smiling.

“A nice surprise? I thought if we ever saw each other again, you’d run.”

“Why would I run?”

“Well after everything that happened and me having to leave…”

“I never wanted you to live…”

“Maybe I had to.”

“Why?”

“So we could meet here.”

“I just wish you would never of had to leave, it was so hard.”

“I’m sorry I never wanted to make life hard on you.”

The door opened and some students walked in.

“Well I guess we’ll talk later?” Grace said smiling.

“Do you want to meet after class?” He asked hoping.

“Yeah, sounds like a good plan.” Grace said as she took her seat.

“Ok class welcome to Short Story Writing Class, I’m your teacher Mr. Dimitri…” Mr. Dimitri said as he started to write stuff on the board.

Grace just sat there smiling.

*

“Grace, I think someone is at the door.” Augustine said as he tried to wake up Grace who was sleeping in his lap.

“What? Let me sleep I’m very tired.” Grace mumbled but did not open her eyes.

There was a knock at the door. “Gracie? You there?” Lily said.

“Grace, it’s your mom, please wake up honey.” Augustine said as he tried to wake up her up again

“What?” Grace said as she woke up with a shock. “Uh Mom… I’ll be ready in a little bit.” Grace screamed through the door. “Augustine, please hide.” Grace pleaded.

“What is she doing here any way? You said we had the night alone.”

“I’m sorry I forgot I’m suppose to go to dinner at their house tonight, she came to pick me up. I’m so sorry.” Grace said pleading.

“It’s ok, I understand just please come back after dinner. I want to spend time with you.” Augustine said pleading.

“I will I promise, but you have got to hide now or I will never get out of here.” She said as she kissed him.

“Ok but get her out of here quick.” He said pleading as he headed to her closet.

*

“So Grace, how’s collage life treating you?” Jessie asked as she passed Grace some food.

“And how is your senior year going?” Grace asked changing the subject.

“It’s going good, Kate and I are still together.” Jessie said smiling.

“Gracie, have you meet anyone at collage?” Lily asked.

“No, not really.” Grace said looking down at her plate.

“Then who were you talking to on the phone a little while ago? You told them you would come over after dinner.” Zoe asked.

“You were easy dropping! I cannot believe you. You know I hope that Austin does that to you when he gets older you deserve it.” Grace said.

“Grace!” Lily said back shocked.

“I don’t think you have to worry about that. The men in this family don’t easy drop.” Eli said smiling.

“Well they might and we just don’t know it.” Jessie said smiling.

“I must say I’ve never easy dropped on anyone.” Rick said.

“That’s besides the point. Now who is this person who you’re meeting after dinner?” Judy asked.

“She’s a friend of mine that I go to school with.” Grace said lying.

“Ok am I the only one that doesn’t believe that?” Eli said smiling.

“Shut up Eli! Why don’t we talk about your band.” Grace suggested.

“Sure but I still don’t believe you….” Eli started to say.

*

“So how was the family dinner?” Augustine said as Grace came into her door room.

“It was horrible all I could think about was being with you.” Grace said smiling as she gave him a kiss.

“Well same here, I couldn’t grade any papers because I was waiting for you to come home.” Augustine said smiling back at her.

“Oh really well maybe I can help you there. You know I’m pretty sure there’s a paper there that deserves an A…” Grace started to say smiling.

“Very funny, we’ve been through this before I grade my papers fairly, despite the fact if I’m dating the student or not.” He said seriously.

“Oh Augustine, you know I was just joking.” Grace said smiling.

He laughed. “I know that so what exactly happened at this dinner you were at? Did you get to be with your little brother? I know how much you love him.”

“Not really Austin was sleeping while we were there.”

“Well that’s too bad so anything else happen, any thing eventful?”

“Well other than the fact that everyone kept bugging me about meeting someone. I bet they be shocked if they knew I did have someone.” She said smiling.

“Yeah fun for you but they’d kill me especially that father of yours. And I really don’t want to die sorry sweetie.”

“What I’m not worth dying for?” She asked horrified.

“I didn’t say that.” He said smiling.


“Ooh this could get messy
But you don't seem to mind
Ooh don't go telling everybody
And overlook this supposed crime”




Hands Clean 3

“We'll fast forward to a few years later
And no one knows except the both of us
And I have honored your request for silence
And you've washed your hands clean of this”


“Good morning.” August said as Grace opened her eyes.

She smiled at him and then pulled the sheet over her head.

“Grace? Grace, what are you doing?” He asked as he tried to pull the covers the back.

“I don’t want you to see me.” She said from under the covers.

He laughed. “We’ve been through this before. If we’re going to sleep together, then we are going to see each other when we wake up.” August said smiling.

“I don’t care, I don’t want you to see me.” Grace said.

August laughed. “But I want to see you.”

“I don’t care, I don’t want you to see me, I look ugly.” Grace said again.

“But I’ve already seen you and believe me you don’t look ugly. You look beautiful.”

The sheet started to come down. “I look beautiful? Even though it’s the first thing in the morning?” Grace asked.

“You look just gorgeous, you’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen.”

The sheet came completely off. Grace was smiling. “I love you.” She said as she kissed him.

*

“Mr. Dimitri?” Grace asked as she came up to the table where he was sitting.

He got up. “Grace, I’m glad you came.”

“Thanks, sit down please. You know you’re very lucky I even got here.” She said as she sat down.

“What you didn’t want to come?” He asked worried.

“No, I just well I got lost.” She said blushing.

“It’s right next to the building where our classroom is.” Dimitri said shocked.

“I never said I could find our classroom. Why do you think I got there so early?”

“I don’t know, maybe you wanted to get a good seat?” He asked confused.

“No I left an hour early so I’d have a time to walk the whole campus and find my class in time.” She said laughing.

Dimitri laughed too. “Well it worked. You were the first person there. You know I never would have guessed you got lost so easily. You had no problem in high school.”

“Well when you got there I had been there for two years already.”

Dimitri laughed. “So you think maybe by the time you get your degree, you’ll know how to get around this campus?”

“Very funny, Mr. Dimitri.” Grace said laughing.

“Call me August.” He said suggested.

“On one account you won’t tell anyone about my habit of getting lost?”

“No problem.”

“Ok well then August it is.” She said smiling.

*

“Hey so how are things between you and my sister?” Grace asked as took a sip of her coffee.

“Really good, I’m glad her parents finally opened up to her and me.” Katie said.

“Yeah well I think having deal with a new baby made them loosen their grip on the rest of our lives.” Grace said smiling.

Katie laughed. “Yeah I don’t think your parents were very use to having deal with a kid.”

Grace laughed too. “Yeah I think Austin took them by surprise. He took the whole family by surprise.”

“Yeah I don’t think Jessie had ever heard so much crying in her life.” Katie said smiling.

“Yeah well I’m glad I wasn’t living at home during that.” Grace said.

“Yeah but you got it worse here.” Katie said.

“What are you talking about?” Grace asked.

“I ran into Dimitri here.” Katie said.

“You didn’t tell Jessie or anyone else in the family did you?” Grace asked worried.

“No, why what’s wrong? Did something happen with him?” Katie asked worried.

“No, um… he my teacher, Katie that’s all.” Grace said lying.

“And you don’t want to your family to know this?” Katie asked confused.

“My dad would go nuts just please don’t tell my family anything.” She begged.

“Don’t tell us what?” Eli asked as him, Jessie and Zoe came walking up.


“what part of our history's reinvented and under rug swept?
what part of your memory is selective and tends to forget?
what with this distance it seems so obvious?”




Hands Clean 4

”Just make sure you don't tell on me especially to members of your family
We best keep this to ourselves and not tell any members of our inner posse
I wish I could tell the world cuz you're such a pretty thing when you're done up properly
I might want to marry you one day if you watch that weight and keep your firm body”


“Don’t tell us what?” Eli asked as him, Jessie and Zoe came walking up.

“Eli, Jessie, Zoe what are you doing here?” Grace asked as she got up.

“Remember we were suppose to meet you here this afternoon. We arranged this last night.” Zoe said.

“I forgot sorry but I am glad to see all of you.” Grace said as she hugged them. “Oh sit down.

“Hey honey.” Katie said as she gave Jessie a kiss.

“So are you going to answer my question?” Eli asked as he sat down.

“Thanks for reminding me.” Grace said sarcastically. “I was talking about a paper I got back in one of my class. It was very bad and I didn’t want anyone to know because I didn’t want mom and dad freaking out about it.” Grace said lying.

“I don’t believe you.” Eli said smiling.

“Eli!” Jessie said as she kicked him.

“Oww! Ok well I didn’t deserve that.” Eli said defensively.

“You know I still can’t figure out why Casey even dates you.” Grace said smiling.

“Oh that’s low.” Zoe said smiling.

“This coming from a girl who can’t even get a date with anyone.” Eli said smiling.

“And that’s just as low.” Jessie said.

“You know I don’t know why I was ever was in a hurry to get out of the house. Let’s see could have been because of you.” Grace said.

“Ha very funny, Grace.”

“Yeah well I try.”

*

“Hey is there any chance that you might be taking a break any time soon?” Grace asked Dimitri as she came in his classroom.

“Why do you care?” He asked.

“I don’t I just thought you might want to do something…” Grace said hesitantly.

“Very subtle, Grace.” Dimitri said smiling.

“Well subtly has never been my strong point. Well I brought you some coffee.” Grace said as she handed him a cup.

“Thanks.” He took a sip. “You remembered what I ordered?”

“Yeah it wasn’t that hard to remember.”

“I have yet to get the coffee place to remember my order.” He said smiling.

“Well….”

“Grace, you know maybe we shouldn’t be doing this? I mean I’m your teacher and you’re my student…”

“Please don’t tell me to just forget this. Because I can’t.” Grace said.

“I don’t think I can either.”

“Then why do it?”

“Because it what’s right to do.”

“Really but what about this.” Grace said as she kissed him passionately.

*

“Hey, so finally get those papers graded?” Grace asked as she came into her dorm room.

“Yes, finally. So how is Katie?” August asked.

“She’s good and so is Jessie, Zoe and Eli in case you were wondering.”

“How?”

“We had lunch together. It seems I forgot that we were suppose to meet today.”

He laughed. “Well it went well I guess?”

“Yeah not bad, but I’m glad it’s over because I hate having to lie to them.”

“Well you don’t have to lie to me.”

“I know and that’s one of the many reason why I love you.” Grace said as she kissed him.

Jessie watched from the door shocked. She had come to ask Grace a question about a surprise for Katie but walked in on this. “Oh no.” She said.

Grace turned around. “Jessie, wait.” She said as she ran after her.


“Ooh this could be messy and
Ooh I don't seem to mind
Ooh don't go telling everybody
And overlook this supposed crime”




Hands Clean 5

“Ooh this could be messy
But you don't seem to mind
Ooh don't go telling everybody
And overlook this supposed crime”


“Jessie please stop.” Grace said as she ran after her. “Please Jessie, I can’t run much longer.”

Jessie stopped. “What could you possibly have to tell me?” She said mad.

“I think we need to talk.” Grace said as she pulled Jessie back to her room.

“Let go off me! I’m not going any where were that jerk is!” Jessie screamed.

“Will you take a chill pill for one second! God! Ok I’ll get him to leave but we are going to talk.” Grace said as she dragged her into the room.

“Um… hi again.” Dimitri said nervously.

“I refuse to talk to you.” Jessie said sitting on Grace’s bed.

“What is wrong with her?” Dimitri asked.

“I’ll explain it to you when I call you later tonight.” Grace said.

“So you want me to go?”

“You take hints very well. Please August?” Grace asked pleading.

“No problem, just please call me later.”

“No problem.”

“Bye Jessie.” Dimitri said as he left.

“I’m glad he’s finally gone.” Jessie said.

“Ok that’s going to have to stop now.” Grace said sitting down next to her.

“What is going to have to stop?” Jessie asked sarcastically.

“You’re going to have to stop constantly putting August down.” Grace said.

“August? When did you start calling Mr. Dimitri August?” Jessie asked.

“When I started dating him.” Grace said.

“How exactly did you ever meet him after he got fired any way?” Jessie asked.

“He’s my teacher.” Grace said.

“Again, you’ve got to be kidding me! Do your parents know about this?” Jessie asked.

“No, and you’re not going to tell them. Jessie, you cannot tell them. They’d kill him and tear us both apart.” Grace said freaking out.

“You know what Grace, I don’t see how that would be a bad thing. I think they need to know.” Jessie said getting up.

“Jessie, please I stood up for you for Katie… I mean how can you do this to me?” Grace asked as she started to cry.

“That’s different I love Katie.” Jessie said.

“And what you don’t think I love August?” Grace said mad.

“I don’t think you know if you love him. Come on Grace he’s your teacher for heaven sake’s.”

“I know that Jessie! God, I know that, why do you think I haven’t told anyone?”

“Because….”

“Because I tried to deny it, Jessie. When I was in high school, I tried as hard as I could but I kept being pulled to him. And now he is back here, and I tried not to let those feelings out but Jessie I can’t! I couldn’t! And it killed me to try to ignore them. God, can’t you see that!” Grace said crying harder.

“Grace, but….” Jessie started say.

“Don’t tell me it’s wrong because Jessie I know that but does love always seem right in the beginning?”

“I guess not but….”

“But I mean look at you and Katie you, yourself was even worried that it wasn’t right. Remember how long it took you to tell us about the two of you?”

“A long time but do you really think that’s the same thing?” Jessie asked.

“Does it really matter if it’s the same thing or not? I love him Jessie and I don’t want to have to lose him again. I mean how would you feel if your dad and mom and told you couldn’t see Katie?”

“I would feel horrible.”

“So did I when they first sent him away and now that’s he’s back, I don’t want to have to worry about losing him again. It would literally kill me. It took me forever to be able to move on after he left and I don’t want to do that again.” Grace said pleading.

“Grace, I’m sorry I never knew all the pain that you went through before and I promise I won’t tell anyone.” Jessie said.

“Thanks Jessie, thank you so much.” Grace said as she hugged her.

“Your welcome but understand this I’m not telling anyone but that doesn’t mean that my opinion of him changes. I still do not want to have to see him. Understood?”

“Yeah understood.” Grace said smiling.

*

“You know I really would like for us to go some where’s together.” Grace said.

“Grace, we can’t really do that. Because if some one saw us together they think that this was the reason that you are passing my class.”

“But I don’t like having to stay in here, there’s nothing to do.” Grace said pouting.

“In that case then I’ll go.” August said as he got up.

“No, please don’t go, I didn’t mean that I really didn’t mean that. I mean there are things that we can do….” Grace started to say as she sat down on her bed.

“Grace, I’m not so sure that’s the best thing.” August said.

Grace got up, took his hand, and led him over to the bed. “August, I’ve waited since the moment I meet you to do this. Please don’t tell you don’t want to do this?” She begged.

“No, it’s not that believe me I’ve felt the same way for a long time but Grace I had my reasons for not doing it last time I saw you.”

“Because you thought I was too young, right?”

“Yes for one plus I respected you enough not to.”

“So which one is this time: that I’m still too young or is that you respect me?” Grace asked annoyed.

“It’s neither, Grace. I want to make love to you it’s just that when we do this I want it to be special, not to be something we do because we’re bored.”

Grace smiled. “That’s really sweet, but there’s one problem. We still have nothing to do.”

August just laughed.

*

“Come on I need to get ready and you are making this very hard.” Grace said as she tried to put in her earring and August was kissing her neck.

“But I want you to come back to bed with me.” He said smiling.

“And so do I but my Aunt and Uncle offered to take Jessie, Katie, Zoe, Eli, Casey and I out to dinner. You must know I can’t turn this down.”

“Yes, you could if you really wanted to you could tell them something that would get you out of it.”

“Yeah how does this sound, “Aunt Judy, Uncle Sam I’m sorry I can’t make it tonight because I’m shacked up with my boyfriend. I think you might remember him. His name is August Dimitri.” Now how does that sound?” Grace asked sarcastically.

He laughed. “It sounds like I might just live for five minutes tops. But the really funny thing would be who exactly would kill me first: see there’s your father, then there’s your step-father, then there’s your uncle, then there’s your step-brother and let’s not forget your mother. So who would you bet on?” He asked sarcastically.

“All of them at the same time, it would be like a murder on the orient express type murder.” Grace said laughing.

There was a knock at the door. “Grace?” Judy asked.

“Great, they’re here. Hand me my jacket please!” Grace asked him.

“How about your other earring, would that be helpful? He said holding it out.

“Not funny.” She said as she grabbed it.

“And how about your purse?” He said as she held it to her.

“You’re really getting annoying you know that.”

“Oh really what if I was to scream something really loudly?” He suggested.

She put her hand over his mouth. “You are going to be very quiet and I’m going to leave.”

He mumbled. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” She said as she kissed him. “Now be a good boy and stay quite.” She said smiling as she opened the door and went out side.

“Grace, um your lipstick is smudged.” Judy said questionably.

“Who exactly was in there any way?” Zoe asked.

“So where are we eating at?” Grace asked trying to change the subject.


“We'll fast forward to a few years later
And no one knows except the both of us
And I have honored your request for silence
And you've washed your hands clean of this”




Hands Clean 6

“You're essentially an employee and I like you having to depend on me
You're kind of my protégé and one day you'll say you learned all you know from me
I know you depend on me like a young thing would to a guardian
I know you sexualize me like a young thing would and I think I like it”


“So Grace who exactly are you seeing?” Casey asked as they took their seats.

Eli laughed. “Grace isn’t seeing anyone.”

“Yeah, he’s right, Casey and believe me I rarely would agree with your boyfriend here but it’s true.”

“Now why would you think she seeing someone?” Judy asked confused.

“She’s got that glow, and there’s the smudged lip stick.” Casey pointed out.

“That’s true plus there’s the phone call she made at our house.” Zoe said.

“What glow are you crazy people talking about?” Grace asked confused.

“The glow, you know when you’re in love. Jessie has it a lot of the time, Judy has it, I’ve even been accused of having it.” Casey said.

“You people are nuts Grace doesn’t have a glow.” Eli said.

“Yeah guys just can’t see it. Right Jessie?” Casey said.

“No, you know I don’t really see what you’re talking about. Casey, you may be wrong you know.” Jessie said lying.

“Thank you, Jessie, Finally someone other than your brother who agrees with me.” Grace said.

“Wait I don’t understand, Jessie. Why are you siding with Grace?” Zoe asked confused.

“Because she’s right.” Jessie said still lying.

“You’re lying.” Casey said.

“Why would you lie about this?” Eli asked confused.

“Um….” Jessie started to say.

“Hey guys how we order some food?” Sam said trying to change the subject.

“Yeah, Zoe please calm down and back off.” Jamie asked begging.

“Yeah same to two.” Katie said looking at Casey and Eli.

“Fine, I’ll order but only because you asked me so nicely.” Zoe said smiling at Jamie.

“Finally and thanks Jessie.” Grace said whispering to Jessie.

“So class I see we have lot of work to do this semester.” Dimitri said as he handed back the papers.

The bell rang.

“And when we have our next class, I want to see proof that everyone in this class has done some work. Class dismissed.” Dimitri said as he sat down at his desk.

Everyone left but Grace. She walked over to his desk. “Could we do this work together?” She asked as she put the paper down on his desk.

“Close the door, Ms. Manning.” Dimitri said not looking up.

Grace walked over to the door, closed it, and then walked back. “Ok the doors closed now can we work?” Grace asked.

“We really shouldn’t be doing any of this in the classroom. You know that don’t you?” Dimitri said looking up.

“Yes, you’ve told me already but don’t you ever feel like breaking the rules you know? Live life a little dangerous?”

“Dating you is living life a little dangerous.” He said smiling.

“Oh really well I can make it more dangerous if you like.” She said as she leaned in to kiss him.

The door started to open. “Excuse me?” A student said.

Dimitri got up. “Is there something I can help you with?”

Grace got up, grabbed her paper and started to leave. “Thank you Mr. Dimitri, you were a big help.” Grace said as she left.

*

“So who are you going home to?” Casey asked Grace smiling.

“Eli, can you please get your girlfriend to leave me alone.” Grace said smiling at Casey.

“Casey, honey let’s go home please and leave Grace alone.” Eli said as he tried to pull her away.

“Well I’m not giving up. I want to know what is going in my sister life. Is that too much to ask?” Zoe asked walking up.

“Jamie, please get my sister away from me before I decide to hurt her.” Grace threatened.

“Sweat heart, please let’s just go before your sister kills you.” Jamie said trying to pull her away.

“But I want to know….” Zoe started to say but Jamie dragged her off before she could finish.

“Goodnight, Grace.” Judy said as she gave her a kiss on the check. “And say hi to your boyfriend for me.” Judy said smiling.

“Goodnight Aunt Judy, Uncle Sam and thanks.” Grace said as she went into her dorm room. As soon as she got in, she dialed August’s number.

“Grace?” He asked.

“How’d you know?” She asked.

“Well it was more hoping then knowing.”

“Well you guessed right. Oh and I have a message for you.” She said.

“A message from who?” He asked confused.

“My aunt she told me to tell you hi.” Grace said.

“What? You told your aunt about me? Why would you do that?” August asked worried.

“No, August I didn’t tell her but I wanted to.”

He breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank God.”

“No thank me and Jessie for keeping our mouths shut.” Grace said smiling.

“Well thank you and thank Jessie for me.” He said.

“Will do.” She said.


“Ooh this could get messy
But you don't seem to mind
Ooh don't go telling everybody
And overlook this supposed crime”




Hands Clean 7

“We'll fast forward to a few years later
And no one knows except the both of us
And I have honored your request for silence
And you've washed your hands clean of this”

“I need your help.” Grace said into the cell phone.

“My help? What exactly is wrong?” August asked worried.

“My mother’s car isn’t working and Zoe and I are stuck out here.” Grace said.

“Who are you talking to?” Zoe asked.

“And you called me?” He asked surprised.

“Well my dad and Tiffany aren’t home, Judy and Sam aren’t answering their phone and my mother and Rick aren’t in town.” Grace said sadly.

“How about Eli and Casey? Or Jessie and Katie?”

“I tired them too and I can’t find anyone.”

“How exactly are you going to explain this to Zoe?” He asked.

“Well I haven’t thought about that yet. Look I called some one to get the car but I need you to come pick us up.” Grace said sadly.

“Ok, where are you?” He asked.

“So you’ll do it?” She asked happily.

“I wouldn’t want to leave you out there but you’ve got to promise that that sister of yours wouldn’t tell anyone.” He asked.

“I’ll be working on that you just get over here.” Grace said.

“That’s fine just tell me where you are.”

*

“So what exactly is going on in your dorm room?” August screamed over the music.

“Some one is throwing party, a very loud party.” Grace screamed back.

“Can we go some where’s?” He begged.

“You got any ideas?”

“How about my house?” He screamed back.

“That’s fine with me, but wait for me to meet you at the classroom.” Grace said.

“Got it.” He said as he left.

A few minutes later

“So this is your house?” Grace asked as she looked around the small living area.

“Yes, it’s not much but it’s the best I could get for my pay.” August said as he sat down on the couch next to her.

“Actually I’d love to live in a place like this it’s defiantly better than my dorm room.”

“It’s quieter at least.” He said.

“Yeah, I think I have a horrible headache from the noise.” She said as she rubbed her head.

“Here, let me help you with that.” He said as he started to rub her temples.

“Ok, it’s official I am in heaven.” Grace said smiling.

“I’m glad to know that I’m responsible for that.”

“Just image how I’d feel if you did this every day.”

He stopped. “This is not becoming a regular thing. Maybe every few days but I would like to know that you actually come and see for reasons other than then this.”

“I do, you’re a good kisser too.” She said smiling.

*

“Thank you so much for coming.” Grace said smiling as August got out of his car.

“So I was right you do have a boyfriend.” Zoe said smiling.

“Yes, I do August this is Zoe, Zoe this is August.”

“Hi, you look very familiar.” Zoe said trying to remember who he was.

“Everyone tells me that.” August said lying.

“I bet.” Zoe said not believing him.

“Well let’s go ok?” Grace said as she tried to bring Zoe to the car.

“I think I remember you.” Zoe said suddenly said.

“You do?” August asked worried.

“Yeah you were in Grace’s play her junior year, right?” Zoe asked.

“Yeah I guess.” He said lying.

“Come on, Zoe let’s go.” Grace said as she opened the door.

“So how was that?” August asked.

“Not bad, I think she may have just believed it.” Grace said smiling as she got in.


“what part of our history's reinvented and under rug swept?
what part of your memory is selective and tends to forget?
what with this distance it seems so obvious?”




Hands Clean 8

”Just make sure you don't tell on me especially to members of your family
We best keep this to ourselves and not tell any members of our inner posse
I wish I could tell the world cuz you're such a pretty thing when you're done up properly
I might want to marry you one day if you watch that weight and keep your firm body”


Grace woke up shocked to see roses all in her room. She smiled. She got up and looked at one of the notes.

“Happy Birthday, Grace. I can’t wait to see you, Love August.” Grace smiled and giggled.

For every vase there was a different color of roses, of course August could not possibly do anything normal. She went to another vase and read another note. “I know you’re laughing now but the best is yet to come so pick up the phone and give me a call and let the surprises begin.” She picked up her phone and dialed his number.

“It took you five minutes to call me. What took you so long?” He asked joking.

“Well I was trying to decide who these were from. You know with all the guys I’m dating, it’s hard to keep them straight.”

“Very funny, so how is your birthday going so far?” He asked.

“It’s going….” There was a beep. “I’ll be right back, someone is on the other line.” She said as she beeped over. “Hello?” She asked.

“When are you going to answer the door? We’ve been waiting here for a long time.” Eli said through his cell phone.

“I’ll be right there.” She said as she hung up the phone and opened the door.

Eli, Casey, Jessie, Katie, Zoe, Lily, Rick, Austin, Jake, Tiffany and Mady were all standing there.

The phone rang.

“You better get that.” Lily said as she came in.

“Hello?” Grace asked.

“You hung up on me.” August said.

“Oh I’m so sorry, be right back.” She said as she grabbed the signed card.

“Who is it honey?” Lily asked.

“Her boyfriend.” Zoe said smiling.

“Zoe, please shut up now.” Grace said.

“You want me to shut up?” August asked shocked.

“No I didn’t mean you honey, I meant Zoe.” Grace said into the phone.

“Honey? And when did you get a boyfriend?” Jake asked.

“So I was right you do have a boyfriend?” Casey asked happy.

“When did you get a boyfriend?” Eli asked shocked.

“Um….. Sweetie I have to go I’ll see you in class.” She said as she hung up.

“Is that who all these roses came from?” Lily asked.

“Well um….” Grace started to say.

“So we can finally talk about him good!” Jessie said happy.

“Actually please don’t.” Grace begged.

“What’s going on Grace?” Jake asked.

“It’s well… I’m… I’ve been…” Grace tried to say.

Eli saw her accidentally drop a note. He picked it up and read it. “What the hell!!” He exclaimed.

Grace looked over at him. “Oh no, Eli we need to talk!”

“Yeah I’d say so!” He said mad.

“Yeah, in the hall way now!” She exclaimed.

“Fine, whatever!” Eli said as he followed her outside.

“So are you going to explain this?” He asked.

*

August came into his house after a long day at work. He put his books down and noticed there were candles lit up all around his living room. “Grace?” He asked.

She came out in a black dress. “You’re finally home.” She said smiling.

“Yes, what’s all this?” He asked.

“What you really thought you could hide your birthday from me?” Grace asked.

“Well I was hoping yes.”

“Well you didn’t.”

“So you decided to waste all my candles?” He asked confused.

“I decided I’d surprise you.” She said. “What you don’t like it?” She asked worried

“No, sweetie I do, I really do…” August started to say.

“Good because I have a wonderful evening planned.” Grace said smiling.

“Oh really so what exactly are we doing?”

“Well I made dinner….” Grace started to say.

“Please tell me you didn’t.” He begged.

“Ok I ordered it.”

“Thank God!” He said.

Grace laughed. “Then there’s desert and then I thought we’d well I’d spend the night….” She said hesitantly.

“Grace….” August started to say.

“Please don’t tell me no. Look I want to do this with you and I know you do to and it’s your birthday, it’ll be romantic….” Grace started to say pleading.

“Grace, I don’t want you to do this for me because it’s my birthday, I want it to be special not planned but special.” August said.

“But this is special.” Grace said.

“Look I’ll make a deal with you if by the time your birthday comes up we haven’t had that “special” moment yet then I’ll make sure to make your birthday night the most romantic evening you have ever seen.” August promised.

“Ok, I’ll take that deal. Now let’s go eat before the food gets cold.” She said leading him into the kitchen.

*

“Grace, I want an answer now!” Eli demanded.

“Eli, lower your voice please. Come with me.” She said as she pulled him into an empty elevator and stopped it.

“What are we doing in here?” Eli asked annoyed.

“We’re in here so you don’t scream to the whole school that I’m dating August, he’d be fired.”

“He should be, wait fired? He works here!”

“Yes, he’s my teacher.”

“Again, how did that jerk ever get a job here!”

“I don’t know Eli will you please calm down.” Grace begged.

“As soon as you give me an explanation I will.” Eli said.

“Ok, I will. See August and I are dating we’ve been since I saw him again in my class….”

“Dating? Why are you dating him?”

“Because I love him!” Grace screamed back.

“No, you can’t love him! He’s what like fifty years older that you!”

“Well I do and God, Eli can’t you be serious for a moment!”

“I am the one being serious but I don’t think you are. You’re dating your teacher, a man that was fired from your last school because he was trying to get too close to you.”

“I know I remember.”

“So how could you possibly be dating him?”

“Because there was no one else.” Grace said sadly.

“What?” Eli asked confused.

“Because I couldn’t have you, I took the next best thing but only to find out he was the one all along.”

“You couldn’t have me? Grace, what are you talking about?”

“I’m taking about that this thing with August started out just as a way to get you out of my mind but it turned into more, a hell of a lot more.”

“Grace, you never told me that you wanted me. If I had known….”

“You know now, isn’t that good enough!”

“I’m sorry, I never would have guessed.”

“Yeah that was pretty obvious.” Grace said annoyed.

“Grace, I really had no clue that my feelings towards you were mutual.”

“Your feelings towards me?”

“Yeah.” Eli said as he came closer to her.

“But you never….” She started to say.

“I didn’t know how to. I didn’t know how you’d react.” Eli said, as he got so close that she could feel his breath on her neck.

“I would have been overjoyed, I’ve waited for so long.”

“I love you. Grace.” Eli said as he leant into to kiss her.

She pushed him back. “I love you too, Eli but we can’t do this.”

“Why not? You’ve said you waited for me all these years, well you have me, why not take me?”

“Because I gave up on you a long time ago, and I love August now just like you love Casey and this teenage crush that I have needs to stay there. I do not have room for you in life any more Eli. Just like you never had room for me in yours when I lived at home.” Grace said sadly.

“So what do we do now?” Eli asked.

“You go back to Casey and live the perfect life and I’ll go back to August of course we wouldn’t mention this to either one of them but we’ll always know that it was the right thing to do.” Grace said as she opened the door.

“If that’s what you think then fine.” Eli said as he left the elevator.

Grace just leaned up against the wall and let out a deep breath.


“Ooh this could be messy and
Ooh I don't seem to mind
Ooh don't go telling everybody
And overlook this supposed crime”





Hands Clean 9

“Ooh this could be messy
But you don't seem to mind
Ooh don't go telling everybody
And overlook this supposed crime”


Eli and Grace walked back into the room.

“Is everything ok?” Lily asked,

“Yeah, everything’s good. Look guys I’m sorry to tell you but I have class in like ten minutes….”

“We’ll go.” Rick said getting up.

“Have a happy birthday sweetie and tell this guy of yours we’re on to him.” Jake said smiling as he gave her a kiss on the check.

“Thanks dad, I’ll tell him.” She said smiling.

“We’ll see you tonight right?” Lily asked.

“Yeah, that’s if you’re planning on showering me with gifts.” She said smiling.

Zoe laughed. “In that case then don’t come.”

“Zoe!” Lily said.

“She knows I was joking.” Zoe said as they left.

Grace lay down on her bed and laughed. “What just happened here? Is this supposed to be a joke!” She screamed up to the ceiling.

“Who are you talking to?” Someone screamed back through the wall.

“Um… sorry.” She said as she got up changed and headed to class.

*

“Ok class I must say something that I don’t think any of you would think I would ever say. Your papers were not half bad. They were actually good.” Dimitri started to say.

The whole class started to mummer.

“But there was one person in this class whose paper was so great that they actually go an A.”

“I bet it was mine.” One of the people in the front row said.

“Sorry but yours well almost put me to sleep.”

“What you trying to do hurt me, Dimitri.” The student said.

Everyone laughed.

“But the person whose story it was, was Ms. Manning.”

Everyone turned around and looked at Grace.

“And if you wouldn’t mind, I’d like you to read it to the class.” He said as he sat down on the edge of the desk.

“Well it’s kind of personal….”

“If you’re going to be any kind of writer you have to be ready for people to hear your things. And I think the class would agree the more personal the better.”

“Ok.” She said getting up. “Mind giving me my paper?” She asked.

He handed it to her.

“Ok, I’ll start. It has called an unforeseen second chance: I thought I had lost him when he left two years ago. Though when I heard his voice I knew……”

*

“So let me guess the card on my car, the flower on my desk and the love note in my purse were all your doing?” Grace asked as she sat walked up to his desk.

“Yes, and it’s just begun.” He said smiling.

“What else could you have planned?” She asked curios.

“You’ll see, now you might want to go back to your room, I hear there’s something going on in there.”

“What did you do?” She asked worried.

“Just go see.” He said smiling.

“Should I be scared?”

“No, it doesn’t bite.”

“That’s good to know.” She said as she ran off. When she got to her room, she saw that it was filled with candles. She smiled. There was soft music playing.

“So you like it?” He asked as he came up behind her.

She turned around. “I don’t know I’m a little scared my dorm room is going to catch on fire.”

“Well since my house didn’t catch on fire last time there were this many candles lighted, I don’t think you have to worry.”

“I like any way.” She said smiling.

“That’s good to know.” He said smiling as he walked in.

She closed the door. “So you couldn’t wait for tonight?”

“Well I know how your family is and they’re known for coming at night and interrupting us so I didn’t want to take any chances.”

“Me either.” She said as she started to kiss him.


“We'll fast forward to a few years later
And no one knows except the both of us
And I have honored your request for silence
And you've washed your hands clean of this”




Hands Clean 10


“You're essentially an employee and I like you having to depend on me
You're kind of my protégé and one day you'll say you learned all you know from me
I know you depend on me like a young thing would to a guardian
I know you sexualize me like a young thing would and I think I like it”


Grace was laying on August’s stomach when the phone rang.

“Don’t get it.” He pleaded.

“I have to.” She said reaching for the phone. “Hello?”

“Grace, where are you? I thought you were coming over to the house?” Jessie asked.

“Hi Jessie.” Grace said sarcastically.

“Hi Jessie.” August said smiling.

“Let me guess your boyfriend distracted you?” Jessie asked.

“You’re a smart one aren’t you.” Grace said.

“Always, look everyone is worried and I don’t really know what you’re going to tell them.” Jessie said.

“I think I have a pretty good idea of what to say.” Grace said as she hung up the phone.

“Come on we’ve got to get up.” Grace said as she got out of bed.

August gave her a weird look. “Why exactly do I need to get up for?”

“Because you’re coming with me.” She said smiling.

“No, I don’t think so. That’s crazy.” August said getting up.

“No it’s not. Look I am sick in tired of having to lie to everyone. I love you and I want everyone to know that.” Grace said.

“I’m not going along with such a rash decision like this. Grace this involves a lot of careful thinking and I don’t think you’ve done any careful thinking.”

“Right I just decided that I wanted my family to meet the man I want to spend the rest of my life with in one second. Of course, I’ve thought about this. Ever since I saw you again I’ve thought about it!” She screamed.

“Grace, please calm down.” August begged.

“No, you know what August get your stuff and leave, I don’t want you to ruin my birthday anymore than you all ready have.” Grace said mad.

“Fine, have fun at your parents house.” August said as he slammed the door.

*

“So let me get this straight you actually thought my paper was good? You weren’t be just a little biased?” Grace asked August as she lay on his bed holding out the paper.

“We’ve been through this all ready, yes I really think your paper is good.” August said.

“I know I just love to hear you say it.” She said smiling.

“Have a little ego problem I see.” He said laughing.

“Never been one to deny it and never will be.” She said proudly.

“How come you never told me this before?” He asked shocked.

“Well it’s not usually a real guy getter you know.” She said.

“That much I do have to admit. It really isn’t.” He said lying.

“Hey, I’m right here! Watch what you say.” She said defensively.

“What ever happened to that ego did it get a little bruised?” He said with mock sympathy.

“You’re boarding on annoying you know that?” She said.

“I’m the one boarding on annoying? That’s like the kettle calling the pot black.” He said joking.

“Ok that’s it you’ve crossed the line and all bets are off on how long it’s going to take for my temper to go off.” Grace said mad.

August laughed. “I was only joking, you know that right?” He asked worried.

“No you weren’t….” She said faking crying.

“Now if I wasn’t your drama teacher then I’d fall for that but well I’m not falling for that sorry.” He said serious.

“Damn! I was hoping you would fall for it.” She said sad.

“I know and I’m sorry.” He said trying not to laugh.

“What’s so funny?” She asked mad.

“You’re just so cute when you mad.” He said laughing.

*

“Hey Grace, you finally got here. What took you so long?” Lily asked as she came in.

“I got tied up.” Grace said sadly as she hung up her jacket.

Lily looked at Rick worried.

“Grace! Happy Birthday!” Austin said running to Grace.

Grace picked him up. “Thanks Austin. So what you got there?” She said looking at the package in his hands.

“A gift for you. I made it. Would you like to see it?” He asked hoping she would

“How about we save it till after we eat and then it’ll be the first present I open.” Grace said faking as if she was happy.

“Grace, can I talk to you for a second?” Eli asked.

“Sure, why not.” Grace said sarcastically.

“I’ll be with them.” Jessie said as she followed them into her room

“What’s wrong?” Eli asked. “If it’s about what happened….”

“It’s not Eli, believe me it’s not.” Grace said sitting down on Jessie’s bed.

“Did something happen with August?” Jessie asked.

“Like either one of you would care if something did. Both of you hate him anyway, so you’d probably be happy to hear this.” Grace said mad.

“That’s not true Grace, and I’m sorry if I acted like I hated the guy but I don’t really it’s strange that’s all.” Jessie said and then elbowed Eli.

“Well I don’t actually hate the guy, I don’t like him but I don’t hate him….” Eli started to say.

“Eli, stop please.” Grace begged. “If you two really want to know then I’ll tell you. We had a fight. I tried to get him to come over here with me to tell mom, dad and Rick about us but he would not come. He said I did not think it though. He acts like I always make rash decision.” Grace said mad.

“Well you do sometimes.” Jessie said softly.

“I’ve got to agree with her on that one.” Eli said.

“I know but this wasn’t one. I promise you it was not. I really wanted everyone to meet him.”

“I think they already have.” Eli said smiling.

Grace laughed. “I mean the right way.”

“I’m sorry, Grace I really am.” Jessie said sitting down next to her.

“I am too.” Grace said starting to cry.


“Ooh this could get messy
But you don't seem to mind
Ooh don't go telling everybody
And overlook this supposed crime”




Hands Clean 11


"We'll fast forward to a few years later
And no one knows except the both of us
And I have honored your request for silence
And you've washed your hands clean of this”


“Come Grace, blow out the candles.” Austin said.

“Make a good wish.” Lily said.

Grace blew them all out in breath. She had made a wish, which she did not think would come true.

The rain started to fall out side.

“That’s strange I didn’t know that it was going to rain today.” Lily said.

“Well not everything in life is predictable.” Grace said sadly as she got up.

“Gracie are you all right?” Lily asked.

“I don’t know yet.” Grace said back. “Oh mom, I have a favor to ask.”

“Sure, what is it?”

“Can I stay here tonight?” She asked.

“Sure, it’ll be nice to have you home.”

“But what about August, he doesn’t want to see you tonight?” Zoe asked.

“August?” Jake asked worried.

“She means Augustine my boyfriend.” Grace spoke up.

“No, you said August.” Zoe said.

“No, you must have misunderstood her because I’ve meet him and his name is Augustine.” Eli spoke up.

“August, Augustine why does it matter?” Zoe asked confused.

“It doesn’t.” Grace said getting up. “I’m going to go lay down if that’s ok.”

“That’s fine and Gracie I hope you had a good birthday.” Lily said.

*

“I’m busy tonight Chris.” August said into the phone.

“Chris? As in x-girlfriend, Chris?” Grace whispered.

“I’d like to see you too but like I said I have plans.” August laughed. “If I had a girlfriend don’t you think you would have met her?”

“She’s had meet me, remember.” Grace pointed out.

“Actually you have meet her Chris, a long time ago.” August laughed again. “Well you were a little different the she was. I didn’t mind go back to someone from a long time ago with her because she’s special and Chris well you and I you know we’re over.” “Her name, I don’t think you really need to know that. Chris, I’m doing to go before I end up telling you everything that I don’t want to. You know you have that affected on me. Bye.” August said as he put the phone down.

“So Chris wanted to go out tonight?” Grace asked.

“Yes she wanted to go out with a group of friends but I didn’t want to leave you.”

“Yeah I know but you know what I can’t wait for?”

“What?”

“When we can go out together in public.”

“Well that will happen when you graduate.”

*

Grace’s cell phone rang. Grace rolled over and grabbed it. “Hello?”

“Grace…” August started to say.

“Don’t please, unless you are going to say you’re sorry then I don’t really want to have this conversation.”

“Well I was planning on saying that but first I would like it if you would come outside.”

“Why?”

“Because it’s raining out here and I’m getting soaked.”

Grace went over to her window and sure enough, there was August standing out in the rain. “What are you doing out there?”

“I’m waiting for you so I can apologize in person and then we can go tell your parents.”

“I’m not sure that’s the best idea, August… look I’ll be there in a second but we still need to talk.” Grace said as she hung up her phone. She got up, headed down stairs, and went outside. “Come under here please, or you will freeze to death.” Grace said to August who came under the over hang.

“I think I already have.” He said smiling.

“Well you’re still alive and that’s a good sign. Now why would you go to all this trouble just to apologize?”

“Because I knew this was a big deal to you. That’s why I’m ok now with going in there and telling everyone.” He said as he started to walk towards the door.

She stopped him. “Don’t, please just let it drop. Just having you here is enough.”

“Really? You’re not just saying that?” He asked.

“No, I mean it. Now you need to go home and change before you really do catch cold.”

“I’m going, but I just want to make sure….”

“We’re fine, I promise. This strangely enough is almost what I wished for. Now good night.” She said as she gave him a kiss.

“Good night.” He said as he started to walk back to his car.

Grace turned around to head back in when she saw Rick sitting at the table.


“what part of our history's reinvented and under rug swept?
what part of your memory is selective and tends to forget?
what with this distance it seems so obvious?”





Hands Clean 12


“Just make sure you don't tell on me especially to members of your family
We best keep this to ourselves and not tell any members of our inner posse
I wish I could tell the world cuz you're such a pretty thing when you're done up properly
I might want to marry you one day if you watch that weight and keep your firm body”


“How long have you been sitting there?” Grace asked Rick worried.

“Long enough, how about you sit down.” Rick suggested.

Grace took a chair. “Rick, you’ve got to promise me that you won’t tell my mother….”

“Stop! Grace will you listen to yourself when anything about that man comes up you start lying and keeping secrets. Is that really what you want to do?”

“No, but…”

“Then don’t do it. You see anyone or anything that causes you to lie to people that you love and care about, really shouldn’t be things you should be involved in.”

“Oh so what should I have done?”

“Told us what was going on? Maybe we could have stopped this.”

“Like you did before? By sending him away? I didn’t want you to send him the way the first time and I definitely don’t want you to send him away this time.”

“Grace, I know you and you’re a great person but when things that involve him come around, you have a tendency to be a little blind.”

“A little blind? I see what is there. I see a man that loves me, who cares about me more than anyone else in my life has ever loved or cared about me before.”

“How can say he loves you, Grace? He’s hiding you, he’s keeping you as his little secret, that’s not love. That’s lust if it’s anything at all. If he really loved you he wouldn’t be calling at 1 in the morning to see you and sneaking around with you.”

“He has no choice.”

“Every man has a choice, he just choice this one and he knew you’d be naive enough to think it was love.”

“Naïve enough? What you think I’m stupid?”

“No, I think you’re a very smart person but when it comes to him for some reason you’re normal train of thought goes out the window. If you’d get it back for even a little while then maybe you’d see what exactly is going on with you two.”

“What if I was too tell you I loved him with all my heart?”

“Then I wouldn’t be shocked because you never do anything half way you always do it with your full-heart. So if you love him then of course you’re going to love him with all your heart.”

“You really think I love him?”

“I really think you love the man you think he is.” Rick said getting up.

“Are you going to tell my parents?”

“No, you are.”

“I am?”

“Yes, and you’re going to think about what kind of relationship you are really in with this man. At least I hope any way. Good night Grace.” Rick said as he gave her a kiss on the forehead.

“Good night, Rick.”

*

“So let me get this straight you have a girl that you’re failing because she has never even been to our class once? How exactly is that possible?” Grace asked as she put August’s grade book down.

“I really shouldn’t be telling you any of this.”

“Oh who cares? It is not like I have any one else to tell.”

“I care, as a teacher I’m not suppose to give out personal information about my students. How would you feel if I did that to you?”

“I find it funny because you really would have no way of explaining how you knew all this information.”

“I’m serious you really wouldn’t be happy if I told everyone your grades, or your personal problems.”

“Well I’m passing your class with straight A’s so I really wouldn’t mind who knew. So what personal problem would you tell people?” She asked curious.

“I’m not taking that bait.”

“Bait?”

“Yes, you’re just trying to start a fight with me I say even one word and then all the sudden you are mad, I’m not falling for that.”

“Well you’re no fun.”

“I’d rather be no fun, then be in a fight with you.”

*

Grace woke up, she looked around she had not even made it up stairs. She had cried herself to sleep. Everything Rick said had it too close to home for her.

“Grace, you ok?” Austin asked as he came into the kitchen.

Grace looked up shocked to see him. “I’m… I’m ok.”

He walked over to her. “Then why have you been crying?”

“I know this might not make any sense to you, but sometimes crying is the only thing I can do. It’s not always a bad thing any way.”

“So you cried for a good reason?”

“Well no, not really, I just cried because… because I well it’s the only thing that I thought would make me feel good.”

“Austin, how about you go get dressed so we can go to the park?” Lily said as she came in.

“To the park, great!” Austin said running off.

“Rick said that you had something to tell me?” Lily asked as she walked over to Grace.

“Yeah um… I just wanted to say that I can’t stay much longer I’ve got to go.” Grace said getting up and grabbing her purse.

“You sure that’s what it was?”

“I’m sure, um… bye mom, tell everyone I love them and thanks.” Grace said as she left.

“Where’s Grace?” Rick asked coming in.

“She said that she had some where’s to go and she left.” Lily said confused.

“Great.” Rick said sarcastically.


“Ooh this could be messy and
Ooh I don't seem to mind
Ooh don't go telling everybody
And overlook this supposed crime”





Hands Clean 13


“Ooh this could be messy
But you don't seem to mind
Ooh don't go telling everybody
And overlook this supposed crime”

“He’s hiding you, he’s keeping you as his little secret, that’s not love. That is lust if it’s anything at all. If he really loved you he wouldn’t be calling at 1 in the morning to see you and sneaking around with you.” Rick’s words ran through Grace’s head again as she sat down on her bed. She had class now, she had his class but she was not going. She could not look at him. Tears started to roll down her face, could what Rick said be true? Was he just using me?

“I’m ok now with going in there and telling everyone.” August words came back to her. He did care about her, he wanted to tell everyone. “You look just gorgeous, you’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen.”

He mumbled. “I love you.” He really did love her, didn’t he?

“She’s got that glow, and there’s the smudged lip stick.” Casey pointed out. Even Casey saw it, saw that he loved me and that I loved him. So why couldn’t Rick?

“No, I think you’re a very smart person but when it comes to him for some reason you’re normal train of thought goes out the window. If you’d get it back for even a little while then maybe you’d see what exactly is going on with you two.” Was Rick right? Was I really not seeing what was going on with August and I?

“It means that Grace you are in college and we shouldn’t have to be sneaking around like this any more.” August said.

“Yeah fun for you but they’d kill me especially that father of yours. And I really don’t want to die sorry sweetie.” Was he really afraid of my family or was he just trying to get me to be keep this secret a little longer?

“Grace, we can’t really do that. Because if some one saw us together they think that this was the reason that you are passing my class.” Was this the real reason I was passing his class or was I really good? She didn’t know any more.

“Grace, you know maybe we shouldn’t be doing this? I mean I’m your teacher and you’re my student…”

“I don’t think you know if you love him. Come on Grace he’s your teacher for heaven sake’s.” Jessie words came back

“I am the one being serious but I don’t think you are. You’re dating your teacher, a man that was fired from your last school because he was trying to get too close to you.” Eli’s words came back.

“I’m not going along with such a rash decision like this. Grace this involves a lot of careful thinking and I don’t think you’ve done any careful thinking.” August had told her he didn’t want people to know all those times before why hadn’t she listened? Why hadn’t she listened to everyone when they told her she was wrong for being with him? Why had she let it get this far? Why had she let her self get hurt like this?

“Every man has a choice, he just choice this one and he knew you’d be naive enough to think it was love.” She had been naïve. He knew what she wanted to hear and said it. He knew that if he came over, knowing it was too late to tell anyone, and told her what he knew she wanted to hear. Grace took her phone and unplugged it. She did not want to talk to anyone. She just could not take that right now. She needed to be alone to cry.

*

“Ok so let me get this right, you’d prefer to be locked up in this dorm room with me than to be out with your friends?” Grace asked shocked.

“Despite what you think I don’t really have that many friends.” August said.

“You have Chris.” Grace pointed out.

“Who I’m glad to get rid of every chance I get.”

“Wait I thought you liked her?”

“I do sometimes but she’s a little nosy especially when it comes to matters involving you.”

“And no one can know about us, right?”

“Of course because then I’d lose you and I couldn’t take that.”

“So it’s not because you could lose your job?”

“Well that’s just an added negative but it’s not my main reason for not telling everyone.”

“Your love for me is?”

“Of course, there’s nothing as strong in my life.”

*

“Hey Jessie, Eli can I ask you a question?” Rick asked as he came up to his kids who were sitting at the kitchen table.

“Aren’t you supposed to be with Austin and Lily?” Jessie asked confused.

“Yeah but I decided there was something more important to do.”

“And we can help you, I’m guessing?” Eli asked.

“Yeah, I want to know what you two know about Grace’s boyfriend.” Rick said sitting down.

Jessie gave Eli a warning look to not say anything. “What do you want to know dad?” Jessie asked.

“Everything you to know.” Rick asked.

“Well we know….” Eli started to say.

“We don’t know much of anything.” Jessie said interrupting him.

“I don’t believe you, either one of you.” Rick said seriously.

“What you thinking we’re lying to you or something?” Eli asked.

“Yes and let me tell you both some things before you two go on much longer and that’s first I’m scared for Grace, that’s the only reason I would be asking you to tell me and second I know she’s dating Dimitri.”

“How did you know find out?” Jessie asked.

“So you two did know?” Rick asked.

“Yeah she’s known for a couple of days. I’ve only for known for a day.” Eli said.

“Why didn’t either one of you tell me or Lily or even Jake?” Rick asked shocked.

“She made us promise not to.” Eli said.

“That shouldn’t make a difference, this relationship she’s in, isn’t good for her.”

“But she loves him….” Jessie started to say.

“Damn it, Jessie! Do you really think that matters? This man is using her and in the end, she is going to be hurt. How could two not tell us the second you found out about this!” Rick said mad.

“We didn’t want Grace to get upset with us.” Eli said.

“Yeah well if she thinks that getting a little upset is anything, she’s sadly mistaken because that boyfriend of hers is going to hurt her worse than any one else could.” Rick said seriously.

“What are you going to do?” Jessie asked.

“She’s not leaving me with much of a choice. I gave her the chance to tell Lily and Jake and she did not. It looks like I’m going to have to tell them.” Rick said sadly.

“Maybe you shouldn’t.” Eli said.

“I can’t just sit back and let this continue. The second that Lily gets back I’m going to tell her and then let her tell Jake.” Rick said getting up.

“Grace is never going to forgive you.” Jessie said.

“Yeah well I don’t care if she forgives me or not. All I care about is that she is safe. And if she can’t see right now that that is why I am doing this then there’s nothing I can do about it.” Rick said as he started to leave.


“We'll fast forward to a few years later
And no one knows except the both of us
And I have honored your request for silence
And you've washed your hands clean of this”




Hands Clean 14


“You're essentially an employee and I like you having to depend on me
You're kind of my protégé and one day you'll say you learned all you know from me
I know you depend on me like a young thing would to a guardian
I know you sexualize me like a young thing would and I think I like it”


“Hey guys, what’s going on?” Lily asked as she came into the house followed by Austin.

“Zoe, can you take Austin to his room for us, we need to talk.” Rick asked Zoe.

“Sure, come on Austin let’s go play one of your games.” Zoe said as she got up and led Austin up stairs.

“Ok what’s going on?” Lily asked worried.

“You might want to sit down.” Jessie said.

“Ok now I’m really worried, tell me what’s wrong!” Lily begged.

“It’s about Grace and Lil, Jessie’s right you are going to want to sit down.” Rick said walking over to her.

She took a seat. “I’m sitting now tell what’s wrong with Grace.”

“It’s about Dimitri….” Rick started to say.

“Dimitri? He’s been gone for some time now, why would you bring him up?” Lily asked confused.

“Actually he’s not as gone as you think he is.” Eli said.

“What is he talking about?” Lily asked Rick confused.

“He’s her teacher.” Rick said.

“How? Why didn’t they call us? When did this happen?” Lily asked mad.

“Wait, that’s not all.” Rick said stopping her.

“There’s more?” She asked confused.

“He’s also been dating her for quite some time now.” Rick said sadly.

“What! Why didn’t she tell us! How do you know about this?”

“I saw them last night together.” Rick said.

“And why didn’t you wake me up last night to tell me?” She asked furious.

“Because I wanted Grace too.”

“And you two knew?” She asked looking at Jessie and Eli.

“We both accidentally found out.” Jessie said.

“And why didn’t one of you tell me!”

“Because she made us promise not to. She said she’d be upset if you found out.” Eli spoke up.

“How long as this been going on?” She asked ignoring what Eli said.

“We don’t know really but I’m guessing since he started teaching her.” Rick said.

“I can’t believe this is happening. I can’t believe she’d lie to me again about this! What was she thinking!” Lily said.

“I was thinking that you would be ashamed of me if you found out.” Grace said.



(earlier that day)

There was a knock on Grace’s door, she didn’t want to answer it but knew she had to. She got up and opened the door. August was standing there. “What do you want?” She asked.

“Ms. Manning, I wanted to bring you the assignment you missed.” He said so no one else would get what was going on. “Can I come in?” he whispered.

“Fine, but it make it quick.” She said as she let him in.

“What’s wrong?” August asked worried.

“Everything, you, this fake relationship we are in.” Grace said mad.

“Ok what changed since I last saw you?” He asked confused.

“I talked to Rick, he saw us last night.”

“And let me guess he didn’t take the news very well.”

“No, he basically ordered me to tell my parents and to open my “naïve” eyes to what our relationship really is.”

“So I’m going to guess you didn’t tell you parents or I wouldn’t have a job. And what does he mean naïve eyes?”

“No I didn’t, he meant that you’ve been lying to me all along, telling me what I want to hear but lying to me just the same.”

“What! That’s not true, Grace. You know that’s not true.” August pleaded.

“Yeah well then prove it. Come with me now to my parents house and tell them with me about us!” Grace said thinking he would back down.

“Fine, let’s go.” He said as he headed for the door.

*

Lily got up and went over to Grace. “Be ashamed of you? You were taking advantage of, that’s not your fault.”

“Mom, that’s not really what happened.” Grace said nervously as August came up behind her.

“What’s he doing here!” Lily said mad.

“He came with me to tell you.” Grace said.

“Get out of this house! Get away from my daughter!” Lily screamed.

“Mrs. Sammler, I love your daughter.” August said in defensive.

“Rick, Eli, do me a favor and throw this man out of our house.” Lily said.

Rick and Eli got up and headed over to Dimitri.

“Mom, please.” Grace said pleading.

“Grace, just let him go.” Lily said.

“No! You have no clue what has been going on. None of you really knows what’s been going on.”

“Fine, tell us!” Lily said.

“I started spending a lot of time with him first because you wouldn’t let me be with the guy I wanted to be with and I knew he didn’t want me at least I thought he didn’t.” Grace said looking at Eli who turned away. “But I started to develop feelings for him and I wanted to be with him.” Grace said.

“Yeah and I bet he didn’t stop you.”

“Actually he told me it wasn’t right that I shouldn’t be trying to get close to him, but I couldn’t stop. Then you found the book, freaked, and sent him away. I was heart broken and I didn’t think I could ever feel better again. But I started to when I found him again at school. Again I couldn’t stop the feelings and he tried to push me away but I wouldn’t let him this time. This time I wasn’t too young, I wasn’t in high school. I loved him and I wasn’t going to lose him again so we started dating and agreed both of us not to tell anyone because we knew how everyone would react. That you wouldn’t understand.”

“And you just thought you would do this for ever, live a lie?” Lily asked mad.

“We hated lying to everyone but we didn’t think we had a choice.”

“And now?”

“And now after being forced to tell you, we’re telling you, hoping you will understand.”

“I do and I’m sorry Grace but he’s got to go…”

“What about me? What am I suppose to do?”

“Move on and if you can’t then go with him but understand this I will not accept this under any circumstances. So make your choice carefully.” Lily pleaded.


“Ooh this could get messy
But you don't seem to mind
Ooh don't go telling everybody
And overlook this supposed crime”




Hands Clean 15


“We'll fast forward to a few years later
And no one knows except the both of us
And I have honored your request for silence
And you've washed your hands clean of this”

“Mom, you can’t be serious.” Grace said shocked.

“I am, it’s either him or this family. If you walk out that door with him, you can’t come back.” Lily said.

“You’d give me up just like that? Just kick me out of the house?” Grace asked sad.

“Nothing else has worked, you can’t seem to see what he is and I’m sick and tried of waiting for you to and trying methods that don’t do anything.” Lily said.

“Rick, please?” She said looked at Rick.

“I can’t, Grace. She’s right, you can’t keep doing this.” Rick said.

“Eli, Jessie, you’re fine with this?” She asked looking at them.

“They discussed it before I got here and they see it the same way I do.” Lily said.

“So I see my family is all decided to gang up on me.”

“You didn’t give us much of a choice.”

“Like you would have taken any other choice, this is what you want, all of you!” Grace screamed.

“Grace, I’m going to go, I don’t want to do this to your family.” August said.

“No! You stay here!” Grace screamed. “You know I hope all of you are happy because I’m leaving and you’ll never have to deal with me again! Tell Austin, I’m sorry and that I’ll written him so we can keep in touch.” Grace said as she reached for the door.

“Grace, don’t!” Lily said quickly.

“No, you can’t change your mind on this. You decided that this is what was going to happen, so you are going to have live with it. Live with out me. I hope you all know that I really do love you, I always have.” Grace said as she closed the door.

Lily sank the floor. “Rick, she wasn’t supposed to leave! She was not supposed to choose him over us, I was not supposed to lose my little girl, lose my Gracie!” She said crying.

*

“Are you ok?” August asked Grace.

“No, I’m not I just walked out on my family.” Grace said as the tears started to come down.

“They kicked you out.”

“They gave me a choice, an ultimatum. Why did they have to do that! I thought they loved me.” Grace said.

“They do, this is what they consider tough love.”

“Tough love! This is no love, you don’t kick someone out and forbid them to come back if you love them!” Grace screamed.

“Sometimes when there’s no other way to show it then that is what you do.”

“But I love them! I don’t want to be with out them!”

“I know, I know and that’s why you should go back in there and tell them you’ve change your mind and you choose them.”

“No, I can’t then I’d lose you and I can’t have that either.”

“But they’re your family Grace and you need them.”

“I need you too.”

“No, you see I’ll always be here for you when you can see me but they… you’ll miss so many things with them that you shouldn’t miss.”

“What are you saying?”

“I’m saying I’m leaving with out you and that you’re going back in side and telling them you’re back forever and you love them.”

“You can’t.”

“I can, I love you Grace.” He said as he gave her a kiss and started to walk off.

“I love you too.” Grace said with tears in her eyes.

*

“She’s never going to speak to me again.” Lily said sadly to Rick.

“I wouldn’t count on that.” Grace said as she came in the door.

“You’re back!” Lily said as she hugged her.

“Yeah, I’m back.” Grace said sadly.

“Why? How?” Lily asked confused.

“August decided he wasn’t going to come between me and my family, so he left me.” Grace said upset. “I can’t believe he left me.”

“Maybe it was for the best.” Lily said.

“How could it be? I love him, he loves me and I have lost him again. I cannot take this. I can’t go through this again.” Grace said as she started to cry again.

“Yes, you can you’re a very strong person and you can get though this.” Lily said to her.

“Why should I? Is there really any reason to?” Grace asked.

“Yes, you still have a life with out him, you still have a family.” Lily said as she held her.

“Some how deep down I think I might know that but right now I’m having trouble remembering what my life was like before him. I’m not so sure I can remember. I’m not sure I want to remember.”


“what part of our history's reinvented and under rug swept?
what part of your memory is selective and tends to forget?
what with this distance it seems so obvious?”



Hands Clean 16

“Just make sure you don't tell on me especially to members of your family
We best keep this to ourselves and not tell any members of our inner posse
I wish I could tell the world cuz you're such a pretty thing when you're done up properly
I might want to marry you one day if you watch that weight and keep your firm body”

“Katie?” Mr. Dimitri asked as he came up to her in the hall.

“What?” Katie asked shocked that he was talking to her.

“I want you to do something for me.”

“Really? What’s that exactly?”

“I need you to give this stuff to Grace and before you think its love notes or something it’s not. It is her notes for class and homework. I talked to her other professors about how things are horrible with her family right now. That you know her father was hurt really badly in an accident. They’ve agreed since there is only a few weeks left till school’s out, she can send everything to them via email.” Dimitri said handing the things to Katie.

“Her father was a horrible accident?” Katie asked sarcastically.

“It’s better to say that then the both of us getting in a lot or trouble. Everything she’s worked for would be questioned and I don’t want to put her through that. Just give her the information.”

“You don’t even want to know if she’s ok?” Katie asked.

“I don’t think I can. I know she’s not going to come to school because of me so I’m transforming and I’m leaving for the summer so she doesn’t have to worry about seeing me. Tell her that please.” Dimitri said as he started to leave.

“She’s not ok, she’s heart broken and depressed.”

“Yeah, so am I.”

*

“She still won’t come down?” Lily asked Eli as he came for Grace’s room.

“She only comes out to eat and drink. I’ve tried everything.” Eli said sadly as he sat down in the chair.

“It’s been like this for weeks. I don’t know what to do.” Lily said sadly.

“Well don’t look at me I’m only her step brother, I don’t know that much about her. Plus I’ve got to go…”

“To work, I know thanks Eli for trying.” Lily said as he started to walk out the door.

He stopped. “You know I miss the old Grace.”

“Before or after Dimitri?” Lily asked.

“During and I know you don’t think they should be together but truthfully that’s only the time I’ve really ever seen her happy.”

“But…”

“You’re going to say she’s too young but she’s all ready planned out her life, what’s she going to be and she’s nineteen so maybe she does have some clue about what she doing.”

“I thought you were on my side.”

“I’m on what ever side is best for Grace.”

*

“It isn’t! It ISN’T fair! Who you love, who you hate, who changes your life, none of it’s fair.”

"I have heard of…flirting."

"Chemistry?”

“Yeah, where…you know...Where it seems like you belong with someone…or something.”- Grace

“I think…you are PERFECT for this.”

“Careful, we wouldn’t want to let that guard down. Then where would we be?”

“I’ll be Orlando.”

“To you I give myself, for I am yours.” - Grace

“If there be truth in sight, you are my Rosalind.”

"You. You made it different. What you said."- Grace

"It doesn’t have to be a secret.”- Grace

"If circumstances were different, I'd like nothing more than to be your friend. I'd WANT you to drop by my house. I'd lend you my book of poems I wrote when I was in my twenties which I'm now embarrassed by. I'd want you to call me August and not Mr. Dimitri and we would sit and talk for hours, but we CAN'T do that. We.can't.be.friends."






"You'd better get out of the car now."

"Why?"- Grace

Grace was lying in her bed all wrapped in her covers. Her mind was not in that room, it had not been for days. She was thinking about August and everything they had been through. No one else would ever understand what they had been through and she was not sure she wanted them to.

“Gracie?” Lily asked as she came in the room.

Grace did not say anything.

Lily walked over to her. “Katie dropped your work off for you.” She said as she put it on her bed. “I hope you can come down later.” Lily said as she started to leave.

When Grace heard the door closed, she got up and looked at the information. Most of it was August’s handwriting. There was a note on the top from Katie. “I wasn’t sure how ok you would be with getting this stuff but he made it sound like you needed it. I hope you get better. Oh and he wanted me to tell you he’s leaving for the summer and transforming to another college so you don’t have to worry about seeing him.”

Grace got a quick pain in her stomach and then threw the note in the trash. She lay back down in her bed and cried.


“Ooh this could be messy and
Ooh I don't seem to mind
Ooh don't go telling everybody
And overlook this supposed crime”





Hands Clean 17


“Ooh this could be messy
But you don't seem to mind
Ooh don't go telling everybody
And overlook this supposed crime”

“So you are really going to leave with out even telling me why?” Chris asked as she watched August pack up another box.

“Yes, and you know this so why don’t you instead of just sitting there and drinking wine help me?” August asked annoyed.

“Can’t, I just might break a nail.” She said smiling

“Yeah, God forbid, you break a nail.” He said as picked up a picture of Grace and him and looking at it for a second too long.

Chris caught that. “Is that why you’re leaving?”

He put it in the box quickly. “I’m not talking about this with you.” He said as he left the bedroom and headed into the kitchen. “You want something to drink?” He screamed back.

“I’ve already got wine remember.” She said looking at the box where he had just put the picture. She went over to it and took out the picture. Looking at Grace’s face, she remembered the night she had met her. Is this who August had been dating? Chris asked herself. She remembered when August told her what had happened at the high school but she did not know that they had ever met again after that. But if they had a lot of things sure were making sense.

“What are you doing?” August asked as he came into to his bedroom carrying a bottle of wine. When he saw the picture in Chris’s hand he freaked. “What do you think you’re doing!” He said as he took it from her.

“Trying to figure out why one of my closet friends is leaving. I know why now. It’s all because of her, isn’t it?” Chris asked.

“This really isn’t any of your business and I don’t appreciate you going through my stuff. This is my personal stuff about my life that doesn’t involve you.” August said mad.

“No you’re not mad because I’m looking at stuff about your personal life, you’re mad because you know that now you’re going to have to explain to me why you’re leaving her and why you’ve been lying to me. Which is going to cause you to realize you should not be leaving her at all. That no matter what reason you say, none are big enough to leave.”

“Really? You know all that from looking at one picture do you?”

“No I know all that from being your friend for years and from having to deal with you after you were fired. You were not the same not until, I am guessing you found her. This year you became alive again, which is something you have not been in a really long time. And I’m sorry if you don’t want to hear my opinion but if she’s the person that makes you so alive then don’t lose her again because you may not ever find her.”

“But…”

“I don’t care about excuses, I care about the facts. And the facts are simple: you obviously love her or you wouldn’t have been hurt so much when you had to leave, she obviously loves you or she would be back at school right now and you wouldn’t be having to leave and with out her you aren’t the person that I’ve come to be great friends with.”

*

“So what’s been going on with everyone this week?” Rick asked as he looked at the kids, hoping that they would talk so maybe Grace would too.

“Well school, is school, boring as ever but the good news is Katie and I have found a great trip, we can take this summer for credit. Of course that all depends on if you and mom will let me go.” Jessie said.

“What about your parents?” Rick asked Katie.

“They don’t have to pay for it, I’ll be out of the hair for most of the summer. To put it simply, I could not have told them anything better.” Katie said smiling.

“Well then I guess… as long as your mother is ok with it.” Rick said.

“Great!” Jessie said happily.

“I wouldn’t get too happy you still got to get it past mom.” Eli told her. “And you might as well accept the fact that you’re going to spend another summer here.” He said smiling.

“Great.” Jessie said sarcastically.

“So Eli, Cassie any plans?” Lily asked.

“Well I’m hoping to be able to do some field work over the summer and we’re trying to plan for the first of it to be here that way I’ll be leaving the rest of the summer for me to travel with the band.” Cassie said.

“Travel with the band? Does Jake and Judy know you’re going to be doing this?” Lily asked Eli.

“They do now.” Eli said looking at Jamie.

“Oh they won’t care. My dad and Judy are taking a summer trip.” Jamie said.

“Yeah and Tiffany and dad are going some where’s with Maddy.” Zoe said.

“I didn’t know either of those things.” Lily said.

“You do know.” Austin said smiling.

“So what are you plans for the summer, Grace?” Lily asked her.

“Not everyone has to have plans, mother.” Grace said.

“I know that I was just asking.” Lily said hurt that Grace had attacked her so quickly.

“You know what no one’s tried Cassie’s chicken stuff she made.” Eli said changing the subject as he put it on the table, very close to Grace.

“I think I’m going to be sick.” Grace said as she ran from the table.

“Not again.” Zoe said sarcastically.

“You know if she didn’t throw up every time we ate, we might actually make it through a full meal, every once and a while.” Jessie said.

*

“Grace, are you ok?” Cassie asked as she knocked up the bathroom door.

Grace opened the door. “Have you ever been so sick of being sick before?”

“No and thank God for that. So what do you think is wrong?”

“I don’t know and I really don’t care. Nothing could make this summer worse this it already is.” Grace said.

“You know I bet you could come with Eli and I on the tour, you might just have a good time.” Cassie offered.

“Right that’s exactly what Eli wants, his little stepsister following him around.” Grace said sarcastically.

“I don’t think he would mind. I think they’d all just be glad to see you get out and act like something other than a zombie.”

“Is that really how bad I seem?”

“Those aren’t my words those are your little brother’s. He’s got quite the imagination.”

“Yeah he does. But a zombie that’s a little extreme, don’t you think?”

“Not really, it fits.”

“I don’t want to be like this, Cassie I really don’t but I don’t know what else to do. I want to continue the life I have but something will not let me. Something inside if me, keeps telling, don’t he’ll come back.”

“Maybe it’s your heart.”

“Yeah well I wish my brain would tell my heart that he’s leaving for ever and to move on.”

“Well hearts don’t really listen that good, they never have.” Cassie said knowingly.


“We'll fast forward to a few years later
And no one knows except the both of us
And I have honored your request for silence
And you've washed your hands clean of this”



Hands Clean 18

“You're essentially an employee and I like you having to depend on me
You're kind of my protégé and one day you'll say you learned all you know from me
I know you depend on me like a young thing would to a guardian
I know you sexualize me like a young thing would and I think I like it”


“Have you convinced her to go a doctor yet?” Rick asked Lily as he came into the kitchen.

“She won’t go and truthfully I don’t think he’ll find anything.”

“She’s been throwing up, not eating and barely doing anything at all.”

“I know that but it’s not an illness she has.”

“Then what’s wrong with her?”

“She’s depressed, she misses him and she’s not going to get better with out him.”

“Yes she will, Grace doesn’t give up for anything, she never has.”

“You know I want to believe that Rick, I really do but I can’t. I can’t accept something that I don’t think will happen.”

“So what do you what do you want to do?”

“Make sure he doesn’t leave her.”

*

Grace looked at the calendar; he was leaving today and never coming back. It was not fair, she loved him. Grace said to herself. Not that it mattered, nothing seem to really matter anymore, not to her anyway. She sat down on her bed and started to think about what it was going to be like for him when he moves. He would probably find some one else, they’d fall in love and get married. He would forget her, it really wouldn’t be hard at all for him. He might even come back to Chicago eventually and she would meet his wife, who would not know who she was. She would think that Grace was just an old student and if she did learn who she was she would be graceful to Grace for making her meet him. And Grace would still be alone, she’d always be alone and sad. There was nothing she could do about it, life was making sure of that. What had she ever done to deserve this! Whatever it was it must have been horrible because what she was going through now was too painful for her to take. But she had to, she had to get on with life, that was the only thing left for her to do. But she wasn’t sure she could do it.

*

“Take some cake with you. The train ride is going to be long.” One of his collages said handing him a plate.

“You know you are all a little too happy about me leaving.” August said.

“Well I know I don’t have to worry about you taking my job now.” One of them smiled.

“Yeah now you’re taking mine.” August said.

“Maybe that’s why I’m so happy.”

“You know you’ve never really told us why you were leaving.” Another person said.

“And I’m not planning to either.” August said back.

“I know they don’t pay more, so it’s not money.”

“You’ve got that much right, no one pays as good as this place.”

“Maybe it’s us?”

“No, the only think you do that gets on my nerves, is trying to pry into my life.” August said.

“We’re just trying to be your buddies and buddies tell each other what’s going on in their lives.”

“Not this buddy.” August said.

“Mr. Dimitri?” Lily asked as she came up.

“Who’s this? Is this what you’ve been doing in your free time?”

“Mrs. Sammler, let’s talk in my office.” August said leading her in.

“How could he leave someone like that behind?”

“Didn’t you hear she’s married to someone else.”


“Ooh this could get messy
But you don't seem to mind
Ooh don't go telling everybody
And overlook this supposed crime”



Hands Clean 19


“We'll fast forward to a few years later
And no one knows except the both of us
And I have honored your request for silence
And you've washed your hands clean of this”

“Thank you doctor. I’ll take all that into consideration.” Grace said as she walked out of her office.

“Good because I’m worried that if you don’t start taking better care of yourself.” The doctor said.

“I will start don’t worry.” Grace said.

“Ok, Ms. Manning you might want to make another appointment with my secretary.”

“I will, thank you.” Grace said as the doctor said as she walked over to the secretary’s desk. “I need to make another appointment.” Grace said and then her cell phone went off. She picked it up. “Hello?”

“Grace, it’s Jessie.”

“I recognize your voice, Jessie.” Grace said sarcastically.

“Very funny, look I was wondering do you know that Lily’s here?”

“Where’s here, Jessie?”

“At the collage, in Dimitri’s office.”

“What? Why?”

“I don’t know, I just saw her go in there with him.”

“Wait, what are you doing there Jessie? School’s out.” Grace asked.

“Grace’s I’ve got to go. See you home.” Jessie said hanging up.

“Great!” Grace said mad as she put her phone up.

“Is everything ok, Miss?” The secretary asked.

“No, look is it ok if I call and make my appointment?”

“No problem.”

“Thank you.” Grace said as she left the office and headed to collage.

*

“Mrs. Sammler please have a seat.” Dimitri said as he gestured to the chair in front of his desk.

“I’m not staying that long.” Lily said.

“Ok, is there something I can help you with?”

“You can give me back my daughter back.”

“I did remember? I left your house with out her and now I’m leaving Chicago.”

“No you didn’t? You left us someone but it’s not my daughter. My daughter has never been this depressed in her life. She doesn’t move, she doesn’t eat, she barely lives at all.”

“I’m sorry about that but I didn’t do that to her. I’m not that one that made her choice. That was you.”

“I know what I did!”

“Are you regretting it now?”

“No, I still don’t think you’re good for her but… I also don’t think you’re that bad for her either.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me! I’m leaving today in an hour to move away from her because you wanted me to. Not because I wanted to but because you wanted me to.”

“I’m…”

“I’ve uprooted my life because of you already but for some reason I’m doing it again! You can’t just tell me now after everything I’ve been through, after everything I did.”

“I know, you may think it’s too late. But I want my daughter back and I don’t know any other way to do that with out putting you back in her life.”

“Well then find away because I’m not changing my life for you again, Mrs. Sammler. I’m just not.” Dimitri said as he opened the door.

“Are you holding that door open for a particular reason because if you’re holding that open for me, then you might as well close it because I’m not leaving till you agree to stay.”

“Fine, then I’ll leave.” He said as he started to walk out.

“I thought you loved her, but I guess I was wrong because you don’t leave someone you love behind.” Lily screamed.

Everyone turned and stared.

August turned back around. “No see that’s where you’re wrong, Mrs. Sammler. I love her so much that I can leave her behind to be with her family because I knew her heart would break if she had to leave them. Can you say that you love her that much? So much that you would give her up just so she would be happy? I can I’ve done it twice now. So don’t you dare try to question my love for her again because let me tell you’re way off base every time you try to understand us.” August said as he walked out of the office.

*

Grace ran into Dimitri’s office and it was empty. “No! I couldn’t have missed him!” Grace screamed.

“Missed who?” Another teacher asked as he came up behind her.

“Oh August Dimitri has he already left?” Grace asked worried.

“Yeah after that lady came in and screamed at him, he had no choice.”

“What lady?”

“He called her Mrs. Sammler.”

“Great, so I missed him. I can’t believe I missed him.” Grace said sadly.

“His train doesn’t leave for another thirty minutes, you’ve got time.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, but you might want to hurry. It’s a long drive.”

“Thank you.” Grace said as she started to leave.

“Miss, can I ask why you need to find him?”

“I’ve got some news for him that I think will convince him to stay.”

“Well there goes my job. Wait, I think you’re the girl they were talking about.”

“I probably was.”

Well good luck catching him.”

“Thanks.”


“what part of our history's reinvented and under rug swept?
what part of your memory is selective and tends to forget?
what with this distance it seems so obvious?”



Hands Clean 20


“Just make sure you don't tell on me especially to members of your family
We best keep this to ourselves and not tell any members of our inner posse
I wish I could tell the world cuz you're such a pretty thing when you're done up properly
I might want to marry you one day if you watch that weight and keep your firm body”


“So August Dimitri runs away again from the girl he loves…” Someone said behind August.

“Like I have a choose.” August said not turning around.

“That’s right you’re being forced into leaving her by her family but when were you ever dating her family?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means that your not in love with her family, it’s not her family that you’ve been dating, it’s her. So it should be her decision. Actually it was her decision and she choose you, remember?”

“Of course, I remember. Now is there some point to your rambling?”

“Yes, she choose you not her family. You choose her family for her. Her family choose for her the first time and now your choosing for her. The poor girl whether you want to accept it or not has a voice and a brain, so let her make her choice again.”

“And how do you plan on me doing that?”

“Call her tell her you’re laving today. Ask her if she wasn’t you to leave.”

“She does.”

“You don’t know that and don’t even start to tell me that you’re leaving to make it easier on her or to protect her.”

“Why not?”

“Because she doesn’t need to be protected. She choose to get into this relationship and she deserves to choose to get out of it.”

“She did.”

“No she didn’t! She never gave her a chance to.”

*

“Hey where have you been?” Rick asked as Lily came in the door.

“Talking to Mr. Dimitri.” Lily said sitting down.

“Why?” Rick asked shocked.

“To plead with him not to go.”

“But didn’t you want him to go?”

“Originally, sure but I also want my daughter back and he’s the only person who knows how to bring her back.”

“What did he say?”

“That he was leaving and that I had no right to interfere yet again.”

“He said that?” Rick asked shocked.

“And he’s partially right, because I never really got to know him or to hear Grace’s side of this.”

“But would that have changed anything?”

“I don’t know but she’s my daughter and in the very least I think I owed her that much.”

“Well if it makes you feel any better Grace went to the doctor.”

“She did?” Lily asked shocked.

“Yes apparently Eli and Zoe got her to go.”

“Eli? And Zoe?” Lily asked shocked.

“They drove her so insane that she went.”

“We should have tried that.”

“Well it’s done and maybe going to the doctor will prove that Dimitri’s not the cause of everything.” Rick said hoping.

“No, the doctor will say we are.”

*

Grace pressed down on the gas pedal and turned up the radio. She was going to get there before he left if it was the last thing she did. Grace’s phone went off and as she went down to pick it up a dog ran across the road. Grace slammed on her brakes quickly ignoring the phone. She got out of the car to see if the dog was all right. But the dog had ran off so Grace got back in her car and sat there for a second. Her heart was beating a mile a minute and she could not catch her breath. Then she heard her phone ring again. She quickly picked it up. “Hello?” It was too late the person had already hung up. Grace all the sudden remembered why she was out on the road and started to drive off. When she got to the station, she ran to the front desk. It was already five minutes after when August’s train was supposed to leave but she was not going to give up. “Have all the trains left on time today?”

“Yes, the one that just left was the last one.”

“I missed him.” Grace said sadly.

“Are you ok miss?” The lady asked.

“No.” Grace said as she started to cry.


“Ooh this could be messy and
Ooh I don't seem to mind
Ooh don't go telling everybody
And overlook this supposed crime”




Hands Clean 21


“Ooh this could be messy
But you don't seem to mind
Ooh don't go telling everybody
And overlook this supposed crime”

“Missed who?” Someone asked from behind Grace.

“August?” Grace asked hopeful as she turned around.

“Yeah it’s me.” August said smiling.

Graced hugged him laughing. “What are you doing here?”

“Couldn’t leave you. I tried calling you but…”

“That was you? I was in an accident…”

“You’re ok, right?” August asked worried.

Grace laughed. “I’m fine. I’m actually great. Just seeing you is great.”

“You being happy I’m back… makes me know I made the right choice.”

“You thought I wanted you to leave?” Grace asked shocked.

“I had convinced my self that you wanted me to leave.”

“But I don’t…”

“I know that now and I think I’ve always know that… I just I couldn’t stay here and not be with you so I guess I convinced myself that leaving was for the best.”

“Well there’s a simple solution to that problem.”

“What?”

“Stay here and be with me.”

“Grace…”

“August I love you and I know you love me. We deserve to be together. You know that.”

“Grace…”

“I’m not taking no for answer because I know you would be on that train right now if the answer was no but you’re not so the answer is yes.”

August laughed. “Stubborn as ever, I see.”

“And proud of it.” She said smiling.

“I’m glad because I never want to lose you either.” Grace said as she kissed him.

*

“Shouldn’t she be back by now?” Lily asked Rick.

“Depends on when the doctor’s appointment ends.”

“It already did.” Jessie said as she came in. Eli, Zoe and Austin followed her.

“How do you know?” Lily asked.

“I talked to her.”

“There where is she?” Lily asked worried.

“She might have gone to stop him from leaving.” Zoe suggested.

“She’s got a point. I wouldn’t put it past her.” Jessie said.

“I wouldn’t be shocked.” Eli said.

“Wouldn’t be shocked by what?” Grace asked as she came in with August.

“Grace!” Austin yelled as he ran to her.

Grace picked him up. “Hey Austin!” She said smiling.

“Who are you?” Austin asked August as Grace put him down.

“This is my boyfriend, August. August this is my little brother, Austin.” Grace said smiling.

“It’s nice to meet, August.” Austin said.

“Nice to meet you too. Grace has told me a lot about you.” August said smiling.

“Austin, how about you go up to your room and start your homework. Your dad will be up a little while to help you.” Lily said.

“But I want to stay here and talk to Grace’s boyfriend.” Austin said whining.

“Austin, do what your mother says!” Rick said.

“Plus he’s not going anywhere’s.” Lily said.

“Fine.” Austin said as he started to march up the stairs.

“He’s not going any where’s?” Grace asked Lily shocked.

“No, at least not if you don’t want him to.”

“I defiantly don’t want him to.” Grace said as she started to cry.

“Shouldn’t you be happy?” Jessie asked confused.

“I am. I’m very happy.”

Everyone laughed.

“August why don’t you sit down and join us? We’re having dinner soon.” Rick offered.

“Lily’s not cooking so it’s safe to eat it.” Eli said.

“Eli!” Lily said with mock shock.

“I’m just giving him a good reason to stay.” Eli said smiling.

“Zoe can you order some Chinese?” Rick asked.

“Sure.” Zoe said getting up.

“So you want to stay?” Grace asked August.

“If you want to.”

“I do.”

“Well it looks like I’m staying.” August said smiling as him and Grace sat down.

“Good.” Lily said as she headed over to the window.

“I’ll be right back.” Grace told August as she got up.

“Don’t come back too soon cause we’re got some stories to tell August.” Eli said.

“Don’t believe a word they say!” Grace said as she walked over to where Lily was. “You ok?”

“Yeah I’ll be fine. How about you?”

“I’m happy. Thanks to you.”

“I’m just glad to have you back.”

“I never left.”

“Your personality did.”

“I know but it’s back.”

“Because of him.”

“And because of you and the rest of this family.”

“But we’re what caused you to be sick to begin with.”

“No, believe me. It wasn’t you. It was my body.”

“I’m glad to heard that, really glad.”

“And I’m glad that you made August’s coming back so easy.”

“Well I figure you’ve been through enough. Plus I know your dad is going to make this hard, so I thought I’d give you a break.”

“Yeah, is there a chance you can tell Dad for me?”

“No way, that’s something you two need to handle all by yourselves.” Lily said as they both walked back towards the table.

“Hey, can I borrow him for a minute there’s something we need to talk about.” Grace said to Rick, Eli and Jessie.

“Sure but you’ve got to send him back, we haven’t gotten through half the stories.” Jessie said smiling.

“He’ll be back.” Grace said leading him outside.

Once they were outside August turned to Grace. “What’s going on? Why did you bring me out here?”

“Because… there’s something else I need to tell you.” Grace said nervously.

“Ok, you’re worrying me, now tell me what’s wrong.”

“Nothing’s wrong. Actually what I have to tell you is good.”

“And what do you have to tell me?”

“That we’re having a baby.” Grace said smiling.

“You’re… you’re…” August said nervously.

“Yes, I’m pregnant.”



“We'll fast forward to a few years later
And no one knows except the both of us
And I have honored your request for silence
And you've washed your hands clean of this”



“Hey Grace, can you turn off the radio. I really need you to concentrate here.” August said from the table.

“I’m concentrating.” Grace said as she turned off the radio.

“Oh really then what were we talking about?” August asked as Grace sat down next to him.

“Ok, so I don’t know, can you remind me?” Grace pleaded.

“We were planning for the baby. Trying to figure out how we’re going to take care of it.”

“The same way we did the last time, August. You’re really got to stop worrying.”

“And you’ve really got to start paying attention.”

“To what my husband’s crazy ramblings?”

“I’m not crazy.”

“Yes, you are, and if you don’t stop being crazy, you’re going to drive me crazy.”

“You already are.” August said smiling.

“And you love me for it.” Grace said as she kissed him.



END