Title: Mr. Disher's Little Secret

Author: Perpetual Motion

iwannabedonna@yahoo.com

Fandom: Monk

Rating: G

Pairing: None

Summary: Why *does* Disher say such random stuff?

Archive: WWOMB, my site

Disclaimer: Belongs to USA. And for once, I'm not totally taking it over and making it gay. Well, not totally.

Author's Notes: I feel bad for Disher occasionally, because they play him as such a idiot sometimes. You don't make Lieutenant by being an idiot. You don't get to solve high-publicity crimes when you're an idiot. Therefore, there is another explanation for why Disher sometimes says very strange things. An early birthday ficlet for Julian Lee.



Mr. Disher's Little Secret
By Perpetual Motion

"Maybe it was a terrorist."

Sharona rolled her eyes in Randy’s general direction. "I’m pretty sure terrorists don’t take out pet shops with hot dog explosives."

"They might."

"Did you hit your head as a small child?"

"No."

"Has anyone ever tried to bludgeon you?" Sharona watched as Randy’s face paled considerably. "Oh. Sorry."

He shook his head and stepped away from her. "Nothing to be sorry about. Just don’t ask me about it, okay?"

"Sure. No problem." Sharona heard a shout behind her and turned around to find Adrian attempting to add a spot of ketchup to a man’s tie. "We’ll see you back at the station." She went to break up the battle.

*

"I’m not going to tell you what happened."

"Why not?"

"Because Disher told you not to ask."

"He *requested* I not ask *him* about it. He didn’t say anything about getting outside information." Sharona perched on the edge of Stottlemeyer’s desk and waved a hand at him. "Well, tell me."

"You know, sometimes you can be more annoying than Monk."

"If you’d tell me what I want to know, I’d stop."

"Promises, promises." Stottlemeyer made sure his door was latched and sat behind his desk. "He got clubbed in the head with a tire iron when he was a patrolman. Sliced open his head, cracked his skull, and gave him some minor brain damage."

"He has brain damage?"

"Yes. Whatever got rattled around ran some of his impulse control. He says the weird things he says because he can't stop it from coming out. As much as it seems like he's a flake, he's a good cop. His head's not screwed on exactly right, but it doesn't stop him from solving crimes. He didn't make Lieutenant because he's pretty, and he can figure things out without Monk standing nearby to summarize the facts." Stottlemeyer pointed a finger at Sharona. "And if you ever tell him I said that, I’ll lie and arrest you for slander."

"Okay." Sharona slid off the desk. "If he’s okay, why is so touchy on the subject?"

"Because the guy who tried to brain him was a homophobe."

"O-*oh*!" Sharona closed her mouth quickly and pressed her lips together. "You know, this whole conversation explains so much."



END