Title: 20 Minutes Into The Dark Zone

by Zelgadis Greywood

zelgadisgreywood@chez-vrolet.net

Series: Max Headroom 20 Minutes Into The Future/Lexx

Disclaimer: Neither series belongs to me.

Pairings: (none yet.)


20 Minutes Into The Dark Zone
by Zelgadis Greywood

Even when one is the Captain of the most powerful vessel in the two universes, there comes a time in a man's life when he is faced with the inevitable fact that he is bored out of his mind.

Stanley Tweedle could attest to that fact being both the Captain of the most powerful vessel in the two universes and bored out of his mind.

"There must be somewhere we can go," he complained. "We sure as hell can't just sit around here all day. I'll die of boredom. Yeah. I bet that
was His Shadow's plan all along. Get me stuck out here like this and let me die of boredom. He and his Divine Predecessors are probably all laughing their asses off right now."

"I don't think so," Xev teased, her tone seductive as she slinked onto the bridge.

"Oh, and why not?" Stan asked, sarcastically. He'd grown immune to Xev's seductive behavior some time ago, though parts of him did occasionally take notice during more stressful times. This was not one of those times, however, so his bits were behaving for the moment.

"Because the Divine Predecessors don't have any asses to laugh off, silly." Xev laughed.

7-90 joined in the laughter, but Stan was in no mood.

"Oh ha ha," he complained. "Very funny. You're a real bundle of laughs, Xev."

"Isn't ... isn't... isn't she, though?" asked a voice on the speakers.

"Who said that?" Stan asked. "Lexx?"

"It appears to be originating on the little blue and grey planet we are approaching," Lexx offered.

"Let's see it," Xev suggested, excitedly.

"Lexx," Stan instructed, "can we see who made the transmission yet?"

"Certainly, Stan," Lexx confirmed.

"Lexx," Stan sometimes wished Lexx wasn't so literal. "Show us who originated the transmission."

A being unlike any other appeared on the viewing screen of the Lexx. He was clearly artificial, from the polished sheen of his tanned complexion to the plexiglass look of his suit and tie. His blond hair, or what passed for hair, was so obviously sculpted that it ruined what was almost a perfect imitation of a man.

"So.. uh... who exactly are you?" Stan wanted to know.

"I'm Max. Max Headroom, and I just wanted to say that I'm... this isn't isn't isn't the Scumball Arena is it? Is it?"

"Yes it is," 7-90 quirped, his eyes darting to Stan. "And he's the scumball. So, my stammering low-tech not-worthy-to-be-a-rival..."

"Low tech, yeah," Max grumbled. "Like he's state-of-the art."

"I am." 7-90 shot back, pointedly.

"Sure," Max snapped. "In fingerpainting class."

"At least I've got the love of my darling Xev," 7-90 boasted.

"So," Xev asked Max. "What are you?"

"I'm a computer-generated version of one of the best reporters in the world," Max replied. "At least, that's what he'd say.. say. Actually, he's a human version of one of the best commentators in the world. Namely me." Max gave a more-than-passable impersonation of Jimmy Durante which none of the crew of the Lex got. Not letting his audience's unfamiliarity with the joke get to him, he nevertheless decided that this was probably not the time for humor. "So... what can I.. Max- Max- Max Headroom... do for you?"

"Well," Xev asked, smiling as she thought of how handsome the reporter Max was based on must be, "you could help us find a place to land."


END PART 1