Title: Car Troubles

Author: Kim

Series: Night Life - Part 2

Category: Humor

Fandom: The Magnificent 7/Simon and Simon

AU: LAW

Feedback: Always welcomed... at either on list or off at

Archive: Sure go ahead, just let me know where.

AN: Non beta-ed

Summary: Buck decides to beat Ezra at his own game.

Car Troubles
by Kim

As a soft drizzle of rain made its way down from the heavens, a man kept to the shadows cast by the closest building as he quickly crept to his vehicle parked in the street. He didn't like being out in the open when he knew there was someone after him, but it was necessary if he wanted to get away from here. A clap of thunder too close for comfort had him nearly jumping out of his
skin, but getting a hold of himself, he quickly ran the few steps to the savior from his nightmare.

With a brown paper bag clutched closely to his chest, he looked up and down the deserted street, almost daring the darkness to come to life and wrap him in their never ending shade. Finally
deciding that the shadows posed no threat, he opened up the door to his vehicle and swiftly climbed into the driver's seat. He threw the package onto the floor and fumbled with his keys, all the while taking nervous glances into the blackness ahead.

`Damn it!' he thought as it took him longer than usual to get his keys out. He didn't know why his heart was pounding, it wasn't as though he was scared. No, not him. But he knew the man
after him could have a strange sense of humor sometimes, and that's what scared him. He took one final look at the soggy package sitting harmlessly on the floor, and when he finally did get the keys and ignition working together in sync, a quick turn brought his surroundings roaring to life.

He pressed down hard on the gas pedal and drove quickly down the street, passing a silver Mercedes sitting quietly on the side of the road. He slowed down just enough so he could see into the drivers seat. As he did, Ezra Standish appeared from inside the car and grinned. Everything had gone as planned for the southerner.

Buck Wilmington cursed the conman out, though the only thing that heard him was the rust and peeling paint of the inside of his two-toned VW bus. He vowed that Ezra would pay and pay dearly.

Practical jokes had become the norm in the LAW office, each one getting a little worse than the last. Everyone had had a joke played out on them at one time or another, even Chris, and it was
all in good fun. But that didn't mean that the mechanic wasn't going to take all the precautions necessary to stay safe.

Before each prank was played, a shirt with comical meaning was given to the butt of the joke, and tonight that man had been Buck Wilmington. He looked down at the package he'd received only
minutes before, it contained a shirt with the logo "That which does not kill us… surely didn't come from my mouth." He knew he was next, but he was determined to beat Ezra at his own game.

A grin, bordering on the edge of insanity, played over the LAW mans features as the light from the streetlamps flowed over his face. He sped down the street towards home, one thought on his
mind, 'That's right Ez, it's your turn, watch out 'cause ole Buck's got a plan.'

**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**

Rick Simon tossed and turned in his sleep while resting on his brothers couch. Since it had started down pouring, the younger Simon brother had relented and given him a place to rest, seeing as
how the houseboat in the backyard wasn't fit to house even an ant. His eyelids flew open at the very nearby ringing of the residential phone.

Heaving an annoyed sigh, he pulled the blankets, that had fallen on the floor, back onto him and was waiting for the machine to pick up the call. Why should he answer it when it was going to
be some prank caller anyway? It was too late at night for it to be a real call, but the phone just kept ringing.

Finally, on the 5th ring, he threw the blankets back, went into the kitchen, and picked up the phone.

"Yeah?" the tired PI raked a hand over his wary features.

"Rick? It's Buck.. ooh, didn't wake you did I?"

"Of course you did. What else would I be doing Buck?"

"Look, I need a favor from you. Think you can meet me at Ez's real early tomorrow?"

"Why?"

"Let's just say I need to teach `em a lesson," the grin that the LAW men held was obvious, even over the phone.

"A lesson? A lesson for….?" Actually, he really didn't care right now, he'd make the man explain later. "Yeah fine, I'll be there, but you owe me. Talk to you then," and he hung up. Running a hand through his short cut black hair, he idly wondered what he was getting himself into, and if a jail sentence was going to go with it.

**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**

As the sun peeked out over the horizon, Buck Wilmington was already waiting outside the southerner's home for his partner in crime. Ezra and Vin were on a stakeout that would last the entire day. They had left the silver Mercedes in the driveway, seeing as how it would be deemed conspicuous where they were headed. So in Vin's jeep, they'd left before the sun had arose, getting mumbled complaints from the undercover agent. Now was the perfect time to commence with the plan so aptly named, "Buck's Revenge."

Buck rubbed his hands together in anticipation, and to get his circulation working again. It was a cold morning, the white puff of smoke from the mechanics mouth a testament to that fact. He
looked up the street as the dented pickup rounded the corner, a wary Rick Simon behind the wheel.

"Whooiee!!!" Buck exclaimed as the elder Simon brother jumped out of his truck and walked over to the LAW man.

"So what do you need this time?"

"Gonna play a little prank on Ezra. I need you to drive his car to your place," he grinned. Watching the doubt flicker across the mans eyes, he just put his arm behind Rick's back and led him over to the Mercedes. "Don't worry, it's just a little harmless fun. I'll hotwire it, and all you gotta do is take it home."

"Alright. I like your thinking, but what about my truck?"

"I'll take care of it, just leave it to ole Bucklin."

The two men shook hands, each with a matching grin, as they set about to their work on the unsuspecting southerner.

**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**

Buck wiped his hands on a well-used rag as he stood up in the townhouses living room, surveying his handiwork. After having hot-wired Ezra's car, they'd taken it to AJ's house and parked it in
the driveway. The younger Simon was busy for the day, and wouldn't be back until that night. By that time, their joke would be over, and the southerners car would be back at his townhouse, safe and sound.

It was nearing 11pm, and surprised and angry chattering outside signaled that Buck's prank had started. He quickly stepped down on the last corner of the clear plastic sheet and ran from the
living room, and out the back door. With JD's help, he had set up cameras at every angle in the room to get the undercover agents facial expressions with certain accuracy… again, and again, and again.

The LAW mechanic stood right outside the back door, having it slightly ajar so he could listen to the two men inside.

"Dear lord!! What… Who.. How…?"

"Think you forgot 'why' and 'when' there Ez," Vin suddenly found humor in the situation and started to laugh.

"Mr. Tanner! I hardly find my predicament amusing," Ezra was seething now, Buck had never heard him so mad, and was actually starting to think that his prank might not have been the best thing to do.

"I think it is. Hell Ezra, you just called the police telling them that someone stole your car. And well, at least you found it!" Vin walked in a full circle around the shining silver Mercedes parked squarely in the middle of the southerner's living room. The furniture had been moved to another room no doubt to make room for its massive size.

The car wasn't the only surprise though. It looked as thought there were grease spots indented into the beige carpeting, and oily rags just scattered around. A quick glance around the room showed that nothing was missing, just that everything was misplaced.

Vin watched as Ezra balled his fists but finally ran a hand down the sleek hood of his precious vehicle. The sharpshooter knew that his car was Ezra's prized possession, knew it meant a lot to
him. He didn't understand who had done it, but if they were smart, they weren't in the San Diego vicinity anymore.

"You know who did this, don't you?" Ezra's face looked almost pained as he opened up the car door. "Mr. Wilmington, I swear that you will be living in fear for the rest of your life. If you…."

Buck didn't hear the rest of the threat as he bolted down the street and quickly got into Rick's pickup which they had parked there. With a nervousness he didn't know he possessed, he started
up the truck and sped down to the Simon's.

He honked the horn a few times before jumping out of the vehicle and racing over to Ezra's real car. He'd had gotten the faux car they'd used from a good friend who dealt in prop cars and the like. It was very real looking, though if one looked hard enough or tried to drive it, the fact that it was fake would become quiet evident. He had put down a clear plastic sheet so that any oil he'd put down to fool the southerner wouldn't hurt the carpet. He was just playing a little joke, and now Ezra was taking it way too personally.

"Rick!!" Buck called as he fumbled with the Mercedes door. He watched as the Simon rushed out from the backyard and ran to the car, clad in only a pair of blue jeans, cowboy boots and a matching hat.

"What?" he noticed the apprehensive nature that was so unlike Buck Wilmington and started feeling uneasy.

"We gotta get this car back to…" his plea was cut short as 3 San Diego police cruisers, with lights and sirens blaring, came to a screeching halt around the duo. Simultaneously, all 6 doors to the cop cars slammed open and 6 police officers exited their vehicles.

"Put your hands on the car!!" Lt. Jason Thatcher of the San Diego police department yelled, and the two PI's immediately did what they were told. He walked up behind them and cuffed each one while reading them their Miranda rights.

"You two are here by under arrest for Grand Larceny. Anything you say, can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney, if you can not provide one
for yourself, you will be appointed one. Do you understand the rights as I have read to you?"

"Yeah but we didn't… see officer, this was all just a joke! This here car is our friends, we didn't steal it!!" Buck tried reasoning with him, but the Lt. didn't want to hear it.

"That's not for me to decide, now is it? Let's go, take 'em away boys," he ordered and two cadets hauled them to separate cars.

"Aw hell, baby police officers," Buck grumbled and was unceremoniously shoved into the car. "Hey! Police brutality, ever heard of that? You know I…" his rant was cut short as the car door
slammed shut, and the two cruisers sped away.

**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**

"Don't I get a phone call?" Buck paced the small waiting room, wishing that prank week had never been started.

"You do, now hold your horses," the officer clearly thought that she had something much more important to do other than to take lip from a thief.

Buck didn't know why he was in such a hurry to make that phone call. He knew who he had to call, and it wasn't going to be pretty. Chris Larabee had had his partners calling up for bail
assistance too many times to count, and the next day, well, it just wasn't good for anyone involved. The LAW man knew the same thoughts were going through Rick's head, seeing as how the Simon only had his younger brother to call.

"Ok you can make that call now," the officer stated, handing him a quarter for the payphone.

"Uh," he rethought his earlier request, "Think you could make it for me?"

"Yeah fine, who is it?"

"Chris Larabee," he then gave her his bosses home number, and hoped that Chris wasn't going to come down here and shoot him. `Well,' he thought, `at least I got plenty of guns for protection,' he mused and watched as the woman dialed the number.

**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**

"Tomorrow?! What about tonight?!" Bucks question went unanswered as he and Rick were pushed unwillingly into the small, dank cell, and the cell bars slammed closed. `Damn you Larabee.'

*~*M7 - The End - M7*~*