Privilege

by Bast

Fandom: Law And Order

Pairing: Rogers/f

Rating: PG

L&O belongs to Dick Wolf--I just borrow from it.

Privilege
by Bast

Rodgers POV
12:30 a.m.

I watch you sleep. Your forehead creases in dream stress, your mouth pouts. Your hair careesses the line of your jaw. Each breath you take moves the sheet at your breast causing it to tremble. A siren goes by. It rouses you for a moment and you nearly wake. Then you whimper, turn to your side, and bring your thumb to your lips. I almost laugh. If the D.A.'s of Hogan Place could see you now.


3 a.m.

Sleep eludes me. I think of our conversation last night. I think of the picture album. Scenes of Serena. You as a baby. You on the private school soccer team. You winning the equestrian trophy on your very own horse. How different our lives have been. I played in the streets, went to public school, was lucky to have a dog. Daddy paid for your education. I took out loans and went for scholarships. Sometimes I think I resent you. But how can you resent someone you love? I watch you sleep.


4:15 a.m.

The moon is full and in clear view from the window. I have twelve autopsies today--I need to sleep. Instead I think about us. How fortunate for me that you sought me out. At my age it's rare to have any lover-- especially one so beautiful. I wonder: What do you want? What do I want?
I watch you sleep.


5:05 a.m.

The darkness is fading to gray. You mumble something, then reach out for me. I draw you close. Your breath is warm against my neck. I think about the morgue and the bodies I will see in a few short hours. Why do I think of that now--with you warm and alive beside me? I shake my head to clear my thoughts, and I see your image from the picture album. Homecoming Queen. Most Likely to Succeed. Graduating magna cum laude. Success seemed guaranteed to you from birth. Mine was always a question. But I made it. Against the odds I made it. I want to shake you awake and tell you this. Instead, I watch you sleep.


7 a.m.

The alarm clock rings. I reach over to silence it. My arm is numb from holding you. You yawn and smile at me, kiss me on the cheek. The harsh morning light does nothing to diminish you beauty. I touch your face--the so smooth skin. You rise from the bed to begin your day and I watch you. What a privilege...to watch you.

END