Author: Gail
Fandom: JAG
Pairing: Clayton Webb/Clark Palmer
Rating: R
Summary: Clark Palmer gets dragged out of a meeting by Clayton Webb.
Archive: yes to Jagslash, Querstrich, RSA, CKOS, WWOMB. All others, please ask.
Series: Part 6b in the Eclipse series, an interlude
Web Page: Mareen's Den, at: http://www.fortunecity.de/lindenpark/vogelweide/216/main.htm
Disclaimer: CBS and Belisarius Productions own these characters.
This was Alex's idea, who betaed it with her usual speed, grace, and enthusiasm, and convinced me that it was good enough to post when I wasn't so sure.
Eclipse 6b: Dragged
by Gail
*****
I hate meetings, so when the door opens, I'm hoping it's some kind of reprieve. It is. My partner, Clayton Webb, come to get me. And I know why.
"Excuse me, gentlemen, but I need to speak with Palmer." His hand is on my shoulder, pulling me up even as I stand. "Please continue."
"Of course," the chairman says, already dismissing us. He'll get what he wants, with or without me sitting in that damned chair at the far end of the table. And it looks like I'm going to get what I want. I have to fight to keep from smiling. This is serious, really. At least it is to Clay.
I wonder where we're going, but I'm not asking. It's up to him, always is.
He has his hand on my arm now, as though I were a suspect. Nice image. Sure, Clay, drag me into some interrogation room and threaten to beat the shit out of me. I'll crack. Then tell me what you really want and see how quickly I do it.
He pushes me into an empty conference room and shuts the door, then locks it. Hmm. Good idea.
"You left it there again."
Ah, he did find it. Thought so. "Why, does it bother you? It's just a file, Webb. You deal with those every day." It's been three weeks since the last time I was with him, and he's seen Rabb just about every night. Dammit, I'm sick of seeing that happiness on his face. If he's happy, it should be because of me.
He doesn't answer. "I'm not going to talk about him with you."
"Good." I don't want to hear about David Stoner. I have my own idea of what would be fun to do with Clayton Webb, and that isn't it. "Want to fuck here?" He stares at me. "That is the deal, Webb. We talk, or we fuck." I smile. "Simple enough for even you to understand."
"You goddamned bastard." His voice is so tense, so full of pain. I hate doing this to him, but I hate being alone even more. "This is just a game to you, isn't it? A game where you get to torture me."
"All you have to do is talk to get out of it," I shoot back. "Come on, Webb, don't act like a martyr. You like fucking me." I go over to him. He's breathing hard. Good. I did that to him. Not idiotic Rabb. Me. "You like when I get on my knees for you. And I know that you like when you come in me."
"This is work, Palmer. I will not tolerate you acting in this manner."
"Nice show of authority," I drawl. "Fine, Webb."
His face shows his puzzlement, and I'm glad. I don't want him knowing how much this means to me. Then he has his control back. "I'll see that the file is returned."
"And I'll see you tonight," I say very softly. "Make sure you call Rabb and cancel, because I'm not going to give a damn if you're with him. I will come get you." I know that they don't have plans, but he doesn't need to know that. I waited as long as I could. I know how to wait. I just can't do it as well as I used to, not when it means I don't get him.
His eyes burn into mine, and for a moment I wish that I could just say, "Clay, I want you tonight," and have him smile back and say, "I want you, too." But that's not what I can have.
"Fine," he says after a long moment. "You want to get fucked? I'll do it. No problem, Palmer. Too bad you can't find anyone else to play your fucking games with."
I earned that one. I know he hates this. I know it's not working the way I planned. But it will. I'll find out how he needs it, when it's the right time to push, but dammit, I need this now. I followed him and Rabb last night, saw Clay's face when Rabb got his hands on him, the surrender and the joy. I pulled my gun to shoot Rabb for daring to touch what's mine, and it took some deep breaths to get calm enough to put it away again. Clay isn't mine, not yet. He may never be.
"You like my games, Webb. But I don't mind proving that to you again." Mind? I dream about it.
There's something in his eyes, and god, I could almost believe it's warmth. "I know you don't mind."
God, don't let him figure out how fucking desperate I am to do this. Please, not that. Then I'd lose whatever control over this I have. I keep quiet, just smile. That should do it.
"Palmer, why?"
I don't pretend to misunderstand. "You know why, Webb. Because I'm a vicious bastard who's fucking with your head."
"You're not," he says in a quiet voice. "I know that." Oh, god. I'm going to lose it. "Palmer, I," he hesitates, "know you're trying to help. But this really won't."
It'll help me. "We have a deal. Stick to it."
He stares at me for the longest time. "I will stick to it," he says, his voice tired. I hate hearing him like this. Dammit, I need to find the right way to do this. He shouldn't sound resigned. I hate that. "When and where?"
No. Not like this. "Forget it, Webb."
"Palmer." He takes two steps to me. "What's wrong?"
I must be dreaming. I fell asleep in the meeting and I'm dreaming all this, because his eyes are warm and caring, and now he's lifting his hand to touch my cheek. "Clark, it's all right. It's really all right. I understand."
"I can't do this to you," I whisper. "I need you. I need you so much." I hope I'm dreaming. I have to be. "Clay, please. Give me this, but want it."
"I do want you. It's all right, Clark." He smiles, and it is all right. It will never be wrong again.
******
"Palmer." Clay's annoyed face is what I see. "You're lucky I got here before the meeting started."
I was asleep. Of course. I knew it. I blink the sleep out of my eyes. "Yeah, really lucky. Sorry." He looks fine, considering he's pissed at me. He must not have found the file. "Excuse me, will you?" I have to get it back, have to stop playing this game and hurting him. So I get hurt. I'll live.
"What the hell are you doing?" He's behind me as I head down the hall. "You can't just run out on a meeting. I need you to be there."
I stop. I can't let him see me back down. And he said he needed me for something, even though it's a fucking meeting. "Sorry." I turn. No matter what I do, I hurt him. It's insane. "Never mind."
He gives me a puzzled look, but doesn't say anything. Probably thinks I'm losing it. I am.
I head back to the meeting. Maybe it will be all right. Maybe.
No maybes. I'll find a way to make it all right. For him.
The End