Title: (Snippet) Alternate title

Author: CK Mac

Email: ckmac19203@aol.com

Pairing: (Scotty/Robinson)

Author’s Note: Okeydoke, I have this strange urge to post this and get it out of my system. (And Peja said I could <G>) If this is absolute doo-doo, please, please let me know. Thanks.

Rating: PG13? I don't know, this is my first posted fic. If you're underage, you shouldn't be reading this stuff anyway.

Warnings, I tried very hard with the dialogue, not really sure whether it worked. It's supposed to be silly, honest.

Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, they are the property of Mr Sheldon Leonard, et al.,

Summary: Following "Trouble with Temple," Scotty and Kelly have a little conversation.

Thanks to Mr Culp and Mr Cosby, for inspiring and brightening my world.

Feedback, positive and negative welcomed with bated breath at ckmac19203@aol.com

Kelly and Scott sat quietly in the busy hotel bar. Kelly was trying unsuccessfully to drink himself into oblivion, while Scotty observed him, calmly drinking a Coca-Cola.

"Why, oh why, do I get myself into these situations?" Kelly moaned.

"I just don't know, Herb, I just don't know."

"I mean, like you said from the start, that woman was trouble. She nearly got you killed, my friend."

"Well I don't know about that..."

"And she broke my heart."

Scotty looked at Kelly with mild scepticism. "She did?"

"And to top it all off, she's going to marry Billy-Bob, the high school principle..."

"As long as she's happy, Kel. As long as she's happy."

"Yeah, I suppose. As long as she's happy." Kelly glanced at his partner. "Well what are you looking at me like that for...?"

"I was just thinking."

"Care to enlighten me?"

"Well it's just that I would never love you unimportantly, that's all."

Kelly was shocked. "Just what are you trying to say, Pally?"

"Nothing duke, jus' thinking out loud."

Kelly smirked. "Are you propositioning me?"

"Well no."

"Good, that's fine."

"No, of course not, Well maybe, I don't know..."

Kelly sobered immediately. "That's exactly what you're saying, isn't it?"

"I guess..."

"You guess? You've always been straight with me Duke, be straight with me now, okay?"

Scotty looked him in the eye. "Sometimes I think I'm in love with you Kel."

"Just sometimes?"

"Yeah." Scotty stubbornly replied. "Just a little bit in love with you."

"Scotty..."

"No. Now don't get all upset about this, friend. It's cool, I know this thing ain't your bag."

"It's not your bag either, sir."

"Yeah well. It's just that I feel something for you, and I thought I should be honest. It was stupid, I know."

"No Scotty, thank you for telling me."

"You're welcome." Scotty sipped his drink.

Kelly lit a cigarette. "Just one thing I need to know, Duke."

"Yeah?"

"Are you gonna take me to bed now?"

Scotty refused to choke on his drink. He paused for a second before he replied. "Well you see my friend, that's a no-no. I'm not ever taking you to bed."

Kelly smiled enigmatically. "Why ever not, Sir?"

"Well the whole partnership thing for one."

"Hey pally that won't change."

"Yeah, yeah, that's true. You'll give me a good time, 'cos you feel sorry for me, and then you'll be back with all the pretty ladies. It won't change things, nosireebob."

"Now, Ollie"

"No Kel, I don't want a pity fuck from you."

"Such language sir!"

"Well that's how it goes..."

"Well do you wanna know what I think?"

"What's that, friend."

"I think you're gonna take my hand, and we're gonna go upstairs, and you're gonna damned well fuck me into the floor."

"Well you see, that's just not how it goes, Pally."

"It's not huh?" Kelly looked him in the eye. "You wanna fuck me here?"

"No, no, that's not right either. It's just not gonna happen, friend."

Kelly unobtrusively began to loosen his necktie. "Never knew you were an exhibitionist, Scotty." He undid the top button of his shirt.

Scotty's eyes were glinting dangerously. "I said, that's just not happening, Kel."

"I heard you Scotty." Kelly replied, "But the way I see it is this.

Here, or in our room, either way we are gonna make love tonight."

"We are, huh?

"Most certainly, we truly are."

"And why's that?"

"Because I said so. Because you want it so bad your teeth hurt.

Because I need you tonight - How do you like them apples?"

"Not a bit sir, not a bit."

"You'll change your mind." Kelly's glance spoke volumes. He placed a hand on the table and looked warningly at his partner. "Take my hand, Scotty."

And Scotty, knowing that he had been out-manoeuvred, took the outstretched hand.

"Wonderfulness" Kelly murmured, and slowly rose. Scotty followed suit.

"We're gonna have ourselves a private adventure tonight, Pally!"

"You know, I really hate it when you're inspired, Duke."

"No you don't" Kelly replied, "Not at all."

And so, in full view of the bar's many patrons, and presumably countless spies, they walked oblivious, hand in hand, past the hotel lobby towards the elevator.

END