Show it comes from: Hercules

Title: You I Love, You I Kill

Author: Adalisa

Email: marioz@spin.com.mx

Feedback: I love it. It's inspiring... and let's face it, it's the only real reason to keep writing.

Distribution: My site, anyone else, just ask.

Website: http://members.tripod.com/luxshine

Summary: Cupid's arrows get in the game, and Iolaus finds himself in the middle.

Rating: Let's say Pg-16 for a lot of nudity.

Disclaimer: Hercules, Iolaus and all the Hercules characters belong to Renassainse Pictures, who also own Xena. Ranma 1/2 related stuff belongs to Rumiko Takahashi. The Greek gods and goddess belong to mythology and Greek culture. I am not making any money out of this, really. I don't even get to hold them a little while. So please, don't sue. With the peso-dollar exchange, you would end up loosing money if I paid.

Content: I/Others

Warning: This has m/m, and some m/f and probably f/f.

Notes: In this reality all the stuff about Gabrielle wearing hindu' clothing never happened, Alcmene is still alive and her heart is fine, thank you for asking. If you haven't read the rest of the Iolaus 1/2 series, I would suggest doing so or you will get very, very confused.

YOU I LOVE, YOU I KILL

By Adalisa

Cupid was angry.

He had been following Xena for months, decided to let her take her own pace about her relationship with Gabrielle.

But they were not advancing. There were the looks, the touchs, the moments...

And nothing.

Even worse, now Gabrielle was starting to pay attention to another woman. The young God of Love knew that if he didn't do something, the couple would be separated forever. And he had spend too much time with them for allow it to happen.

So Cupid decided that he was going to take extreme measures. He only needed to find the perfect moment for his plan to work.

Then he was going to use the most powerful Love arrow he had.

Xena wouldn't be able to resist Gabrielle's charms.

* * *

Hercules, Iolaus, Xena and Gabrielle were leaving Tirene, after having parted company with a very downhearted Autolycus and a cheerful Joxer. Even when both the demi-god and his friend had wanted to continue their travel alone and see if they could have more time to adjust to the new situation, the Warrior Princess and the Amazon hadn't been easily convinced.

As usual, Hercules and Xena were silent, while Gabrielle was chatting freely. The only unusual sight was the silent Iolaus who didn't feel very comfortable when the only subject Gabrielle seemed to enjoy talking about was Iolae. The hunter was starting to feel guilty, especially since only a blind person could miss the fact that Xena was getting very annoyed with each passing minute.

Sure enough, as Gabrielle started asking if Iolae would mind much if she wrote an ode about the fight at the bar, Xena turned around, furious.

"Why can't you stop talking?!" The warrior princess yelled, while Hercules, Iolaus, Argo and even Gabrielle just gaped. "Since this morning all you can say is 'Iolae this, Iolae that'!! Don't you see we're getting tired?!"

"Xena... I..."

"Don't 'Xena... I' me!!" Hercules and Iolaus started walking backwards, hoping that the explosion would be short lived. "You are making a pest out of yourself, Gabrielle! If Iolae is so great why don't you go and live with her?! In fact, go now! I'm sure she will enjoy your pestering, especially since she didn't seem even to notice you were standing right at her side!!"

Not far away, Cupid prepared his aim. When Xena was yelling, she never took her eyes away from the one she was yelling to. Sure, it would be a surprise to Gabrielle when the rant turned into love words, but Cupid was fed up with waiting.

And so, when he was sure he got Xena's heart, he shoot.

"...What is even worse is that you don't even notice you're embarrassing Iolaus who is just..." to give emphasis to her words, Xena turned to point to the hunter, who was starting to wish that the earth swallowed him... And in that precise moment, the arrow struck it's target. "... so adorable when he is uncomfortable..."

"WHAT?!" Two mortals and a demi-god yelled at the same time, looking at Xena as if she had lost her mind.

However, the woman known trough the entire known world as the most deadly warrior of them all, didn't pay any attention. She just walked to Iolaus side, and tried to flash a cute smile. Which, taking in account her reputation, was not an easy task. "I'm sorry for all this, Iolaus... I promise Gabrielle will shut up or I'll tie her to Argo, is that all right with you?"

"Xena? Are you feeling all right?" Hercules asked, distrustful. Even when he had forgiven Xena for the things she had done when they meet her, the little part of him that was not really jealous of whoever got Iolaus' attention was not as forgiving. In fact, it was that not so little part the one that was screaming now that he had to grab Iolaus and run as far away as he could.

"Sure, Hercules..." The warrior said, without taking her eyes away from Iolaus. "Say, why don't you and Gabrielle go ahead, and leave Iolaus and me alone... It has been a long time since we talked."

Iolaus was at the moment trying subtly to get away from the warrior princess, looking rather like a rabbit under the hunter's eye. "I don't think... that's a good idea... "

"Xena? What's wrong with you?!" Gabrielle asked, shocked. She had only seen Xena act like that when she was under a spell or something... and she was not about to leave her friend if she was once again victim of someone's machinations. "Let Iolaus' breath!!!"

"Why are you so angry, Gabrielle?" Xena's tone was starting to sound too much like Meg's, to everyone distaste, and she had managed to get near enough to Iolaus to wrap herself around his arm, looking at the blond with love filled eyes. "You have Iolae, after all..."

"No, she does not!" Hercules raged on, this time to meet the surprised blinks of Xena, Iolaus and Gabrielle.

"I thought you didn't care that way for Iolae..." The bard began, but shut immediately as she saw the glare that the demi-god shoot her.

Cupid was watching all that with some amusement. He knew that he had to fix it soon, or his uncle would threaten to clip his wings if he ever found out... but for doing so, he really needed to be careful.

The group walked in a tense silence, with Iolaus trying to get Xena's hands away from his body, and both Gabrielle and Hercules ignoring them both. As things were, Cupid thought he had a fairly clear shoot, given the fact that Xena didn't took her eyes away from the hunter, but he wanted to be sure. If he hit Xena while she was looking at anyone else _but_ Iolaus, the Warrior Princess would be filled with an all encompassing hate.

* * *

Ares was sitting on his throne, raging mad.

He had been so close to Iolae, the beautiful huntress when his thrice damn sister had appeared. And placed Iolae under her protection... It was absurd, a ploy to get Ares mad...

And it was working.

He had refused to look for Iolae afterwards, but after half a day, his resolve was weakening. Besides, he had a new plan. Two could play the game Aphrodite was playing. After all, if Iolae were not only a huntress but a warrior, that would make her Ares' subject.

But he needed proof that Iolae was a warrior first, and he only knew one way of doing so.

Without bothering to check first if Iolae was with his brother or not, he sent the nearest group of warriors to attack Hercules, and waited for the events to unfold.

* * *

No one had been more surprised than the warriors when their ambush worked. They had gone to attack Hercules and his friend because Ares told them to, and no one had the guts to tell Ares no. But none had any hopes of getting the upper hand in the fight. Even less when they realized that Hercules and Iolaus were accompanied by Xena and Gabrielle.

Still, the ambush worked and for some strange reason, they were actually winning. And they were not going to question their luck.

Of course, if they had, they would have realized that the team's dynamics in their opponents were shot to Tartarus. Hercules was fighting alone, without covering Iolaus' back, and Gabrielle was having a hard time because no one was covering her back... because the one who usually did that was too busy watching Iolaus' behind. Iolaus was very aware of this, and thus was more concerned with keeping his back Xena-free than with fighting.

And just when anyone thought things couldn't get worse...

It began to rain.

The first one to notice was, of course, Iolaus, who tried to get away from the fighting, only to be followed by a warrior who managed to tackle him, falling over the hunter. Xena saw this and dispatched her opponent with a fast jab at the neck, before rushing to help his beloved.

Cupid saw this as the perfect opportunity to undo the damage done, and let his hate-arrow fly just as Xena took the body of the dead warrior off Iolaus...

Hitting her as she realized that the one she had saved was a girl.

"IOLAE?!" Surprise was rapidly overcome by anger, and Iolaus barely had time to scramble to his feet before Xena impaled her sword where his head had been. "What did you do to Iolaus?!!"

Cupid saw all this, and paled. "Ooopss..." he muttered, and decided to disappear. He really had to come with a way to undo the mess he had just caused before his mother or Hercules found out.

* * *

Once the warriors realized that Xena's attitude had passed from the slightly protective to the murderous maniac, it didn't took much time for them to decide that the best part from valor was discretion and they promptly ran to the hills.

Iolaus, of course, was not that lucky, and he was barely managing to keep a safe distance between him and the sharp blade of Xena's sword, because the warrior princess had somehow come to the conclusion that 'Iolae' had to die. Right there.

And she would have probably managed to, if it weren't for Hercules and Ares timely intervention.

Not that he really wanted to thank the War God who had appeared between he and Xena just as Hercules grabbed the woman's wrist forcing her to drop the sword.

"You will leave her alone, Xena. Iolae is under my protection." Ares said, in his most regal voice.

"Since when?!!!" This came from both Hercules, who could not believe that his brother didn't know about Iolaus' curse, and Iolaus, whose memories of his last encounter with the god were still too fresh for him to feel comfortable.

Gabrielle just watched the events, to shocked to say a word.

"All warriors are under my service, brother, and this girl is one of the best warriors I have ever seen." The god smirked and it was more than what Iolaus could take.

"I am not a girl!!" He yelled, and again, his indignation made his voice rise. Of course, as he yelled, he placed her hands on her hip, making her breast bounce and calling the attention of all the involved in the discussion, who saw her body with various degrees of admiration... and downright hate.

"Woman, then. I'm glad to see you haven't changed your sense of fashion since our last encounter, Iolae."

"Last encounter?" Hercules looked at his friend, not believing his half-brother's words. However, Iolaus' light blush confirmed his suspicion.

"You see? She's evil!! Let me kill her!" Xena flashed her chakram, ready to act.

"Since when do you believe him?!" Iolaus didn't hide his indignation. Sure, he had forgiven Xena for what she did when they had meet, but things like this remind him painfully of the deceitful way in which she had played with his feelings. "I thought you fought against Ares!!"

"No one is going to kill anyone until she explains everything..." The demigod managed to keep his voice calm, even when all he wanted to do was to throw Iolaus over his shoulder and walk away from all the madness.

"ME?! I'm being harassed by two psychos and you want _me_ to explain things?!"

"I am just trying to keep things in order... Iolae..."

"Well, then stop talking about me as if you didn't know me since childhood!!" Crossing her arms just enough to cover her breasts, Iolaus glared at his best friend. "And _YOU_ " He continued, looking at Ares, "... Last time it didn't seem to me that you wanted to place me under your _protection_ so leave me alone!"

Ares open his mouth to say something, but for some strange reason, he found himself at loss of words. No mortal should even dare to speak at him like that... but he respected Iolae's courage and valor.

"Very well... I shall leave now, Iolae." Ares grabbed her hand, and gentlemanly -or at least as gentlemanly as the god of War could manage- he kissed it, making Iolaus blush slightly. "But you're still under my protection, warrior huntress."

Upon saying that, he disappeared in the traditional blue-greenish smoke that he always favored, leaving Iolaus to dwell with a demi-god who was not really jealous, a warrior princess who was itching to kill him, and a dumb struck bard.

* * *

They didn't cover much more road after that, mainly because of the rain, but also because at every given chance, Xena would attack Iolae mercilessly, using everything she had at hand. From her sword to a stone on the road, everything was fair game to the woman to express her hate against Iolae.

Gabrielle, on the other hand, had had enough of a warning and tried to keep quiet... even so, she walked near Iolae in order to be some kind of shield, trusting that Xena would not be mad enough to try and attack her too. At each passing moment she became more and more convinced that a god had played with her friend's mind, but still could not phantom who or why. Silently, she kept walking, stealing glances at both Xena and the gorgeous blonde at her side. And decided that for some reason, the fact that Iolae was still half-naked was part of Xena's growing annoyance.

"Iolae... look... I... don't take this as an insult but..." She began babbling, especially when Iolae turned to see her, her beautiful blue eyes making it very hard to find the words. "... Would you like it if I gave you one of my blouses or tops? I mean... you can dress anyway you like..."

"Thanks, Gabrielle..." Iolae smiled, which made Gabrielle's heart thump harder and Xena sneer. "I was starting to get a little cold..."

"You witch..." Xena began, but Hercules stepped in the middle. Although he had long ago given up the hope to know what was going on in Iolaus's head, he was very glad that someone had convinced him to cover up.

Now, if he just could ditch Gabrielle and Xena...

* * *

The rain stopped almost at night, and they set up camp. Still jumpy around Xena, Iolaus offered to go and hunt the dinner, which got him an admiration filled sigh, a sneer and absolute indifference from Hercules. Although he was wearing Gabrielle's green top, the huntress was sure that the demi-god was angry because of what Ares had said and seen...

When he was sure that he was far enough from the camp, he stopped and looked at the sky.

"Aphrodite? Please, I need your help!!" He yelled, knowing fully well that there was no reason why the beautiful goddess would answer his call. But he really needed to sort out what had happened with Xena...

"It was not me." The goddess of love said, as she appeared before him, smiling coyly. "But you can't deny it has been fun..."

"Fun?! Fun?!! Xena wants to kill me, and you call that fun?!!" Iolaus laughed, as she began taking off his vest and Gabrielle's top. "Please, 'Dite... tell me you can help me..."

"Well, I can do this..." Aphrodite blinked and a hot shower fell over Iolaus, restoring him to his male appearance. "But for the other... u-hu. You know the rules, blondie, I can't undo another god's spells."

"Great, just great..." Iolaus sat on the floor, running his fingers through his hair. "I can't do this, 'Dite... Xena is insane, and Herc is acting weird and..."

"He's just jealous." The goddess swept magically the spot at Iolaus' side and sat, her smile never faltering.

"Herc? You think so?"

"I know so."

The goddess sat silent as Iolaus' surprised face turned into a smile.

* * *

Returning to the camp had been a bit tricky. He had a good excuse for having missed most of the walk on the grounds that he had got lost during the battle -as unlikely as that sound- but that didn't explain Iolae's absence.

Fortunately, as Xena once again tried to get as near to him as humanly possible, soon all that was ignored. Gabrielle was too busy trying to convince her that a strip tease would not be appreciated by Iolaus to have time to wonder about Iolae's whereabouts.

Even so, the tension was still there. Iolaus could tell that Hercules was really upset by something. And it just served to prove that Aphrodite had said the truth.

Maybe the demi-god would never admit it, but he was jealous.

They went to sleep around midnight, each keeping their distance from the other. But it was a long time before Morpheus decided to visit them.

* * *

Hercules was the first to wake up, sore from a very bad night of almost not resting. The fact that Iolaus was so comfortable with some aspects of the curse was still getting into the demi-god's nerves, and Xena's lately behavior wasn't helping. Sure, he knew it had to be the work of a god but even so...

"Mmm... Iolaus, my love..." Xena's sleepy voice pulled Hercules out of his thoughts, and he turned around to see the warrior princess wrapped around Iolaus, her bare chest pressing against the hunter's. Both had a seated smile, and that made Hercules' insides rage.

Of course, he knew that nothing had happened. He had been awake for most of the night.

That knowledge didn't ease his rage.

Smiling, he took the skin of water, and splashed it over Iolaus' head.

"HEY!! What's the problem?!" Iolaus woke up surprised. But as he realized that he was no longer a he, he also noted the half-naked Xena at his side, who was also waking up.

"Morning Iolaus..." Xena said, still half sleep, and captured Iolaus' mouth in a kiss. The eyes of the hunter almost bug out of their orbits, same as Hercules who had expected everything but this.

"Xena... wait..." Iolaus managed to gasp, just as he disentangled himself from the woman's arms. Unfortunately, that only let Xena realize whom she had been holding. Her eyes passed from love to rage... too fast for Iolaus' comfort.

"YOU LITTLE SLUT!!!" It was all the warning he got before Xena grabbed her sword and started the chase again. Only that this time, Hercules was not even moving a finger to stop Xena and Gabrielle was once again dumb struck.

Sure, he could understand her. Two women running half-naked with swords was not a sight one got to see everyday.

Finally, Xena managed to pin her up with a tree and got ready to kill 'Iolae'. "Now, little slut, you die..."

"WAIT!!!" Iolaus' screamed, hoping to win some time. "If you kill me, you will never see my cousin again!!"

That seemed to make Xena hesitate long enough for Iolaus to get away and place himself behind a suspiciously smirking Hercules.

Without taking his eyes away from the warrior, Iolaus put on the top that Gabrielle had given him the day before, just to get sure that Xena would not take his half-naked state as an offense. Of course, everything he did seemed to be a personal insult for the woman, but he was not going to make things worse by trying deliberately to make Xena angry.

The breakfast was, if possible, more tense than the travel the day before. Xena was still polishing her sword, as if she didn't believe what Iolaus had told her earlier, and Gabrielle was trying not to look at either..

But what probably was worse in the hunter's eyes, was Hercules' stubborn silence. Iolaus still didn't know what he had done to get his friend mad enough to actually go and dump water over him, especially since he knew how Xena got... Of course, there was the possibility that Hercules believed that maybe whatever had gotten into the warrior princess had already passed but something told Iolaus that that wasn't the case.

Which only lead the blonde to believe that for some strange reason, Hercules wanted to see Xena try to make fricassee out of him.

"Maybe this is Ares' fault..." Gabrielle mused, almost making Iolaus' jump, because she had been silent too long. "I mean... he did seem very interested in you, Iolae..."

"That just shows she'll lead us to a trap!" Xena snarled, "Or maybe poison our food! In fact, she must know where Ares took my sweet Iolaus!!"

"Iolaus is NOT yours and Ares DOES NOT have him!!" Hercules finally yelled, making both Iolaus and Xena jump. Gabrielle just blinked, but that was because she was too busy thinking on the last puzzle her mind had given her to worry about Hercules 'not-so' jealous tone.

"Whatever" The bard continued "If he wanted to impress Iolae, what better than saving her from Xena?"

"That makes sense..." Iolaus tried to say, but a glare from Xena followed by a knife that he barely ducked made him change his mind.

"But my brother wouldn't be responsible for Xena 's sudden love crush for Iolaus..."

"My love for Iolaus has nothing to do with Ares! It is pure, and burns with passion! HE caught my heart since the day when we meet, and he also loves me! It's just that you keep getting on the way!!" The warrior princess' speech was meet with the disbelief filled stares of her friends. Because Xena had _whined.

"Maybe it would be better if we go and look for Ares..." As her suggestion was meet with nods, Gabrielle began packing Argo.

"But I don't want to go!!" Xena insisted. "Iolaus might come looking for me! I have to stay with Hercules and make sure that no-one hurts my golden lover!"

At the end, Hercules had to give up and admit that _maybe_ Ares had Iolaus and _maybe_ it would be better if just Xena and Gabrielle went to save him, just to avoid the God of War's attention. And so, both Warrior Princess and bard parted company with them, as Xena charged against the sunrise in her quest for her beloved.

"I'm really glad they're finally gone..." Iolaus said, as they resumed their way in the contrary direction.

"Oh, really? I thought you were enjoying the attention, 'Iolae'." The demi-god snarled, not even looking at his friend.

"What, you're jealous, Herc?" The hunter was not faced by his friend's tone, and was starting to enjoy it.

"Shut up, Iolaus."

Of course, Hercules was not Jealous. And he did not wanted to turn around and force Iolaus to shut up by kissing him senseless.

Of course.

The End