Seeking Balance 21: Receptions

The great gathering hall had been decorated for the occasion. Aphrodite, after being threatened with gagging and binding with Hephastean steel by her normally indulgent husband, agreed to go easy on the pink. She settled for only a bare third of the massed flowers, but she managed to get them in a variety of shades that left Eos dizzy. The rest of the decorations were in white, silver, and (in a nod to the House of War), scarlet.

Protocol was broken. While the wedding party traditionally stood to greet their guests, Joxer was seated in a comfortable chair, with his feet up. Asclepius hadn't needed to say anything--Ares' stern look had kept even the most hide-bound of the guests from raising an eyebrow or making the quietest murmur. People offering congratulations had to make a detour around Joxer's footstool before they could go on to shake hands with Strife (and there were more than a few who wished they dared pass up that part of the ritual--the Mischief God was loving the buzz of mischief potential in the air, as evidenced by his cheerful leer).

Hestia had outdone herself with the buffet. Royal cooks had been offering themselves on her altar ever since the wedding had been announced, in hopes of getting a chance to check out some of the divine recipes. Not having her powers they could never replicate anything, but if they could APPROXIMATE a single divine dish, they'd assure their own reputations, and the comfort of themselves and their descendants for a couple of generations.

Demeter and Gaia had provided the most luscious fruits and vegetables ever to exist. Artemis had provided the plumpest, most flavorful game; Poseidon had contributed the bounty of the sea in the form of succulent oysters (and yes, there was a lot of elbowing and snickering over whether or not the bridegrooms were going to sample these) and shrimp.

He also provided a magnificent pike, which Hestia had stuffed and cooked whole. Joxer had admired it with a weak smile, praised and thanked the glowing goddess, then quietly stepped into a side chamber and thrown up. Ares was concerned, since they'd thought that Joxer's nausea had finally abated. Joxer assured him that it was just that he wasn't up to food that looked back at him. Ares had a word with Strife, who giggled, then disappeared. A moment later there was a commotion in the main room. They exited to find people wondering how one of Artemis' hounds had managed to sneak in and make off with the head of the centerpiece pike.

It was fairly decorous for an Olympic celebration. There was no open nudity till it was three-fourths over. There was only one fight, and that was more of a good-natured sparring match than anything else--no real heat to it, no weapons involved. Actually, since it was between Zephir and Eos, it was pretty amusing. Eos kicked his butt. That annoyed Demeter, since she figured he'd be piqued, and send more dry, warm winds, promoting droughts. Aeolas promised her that he'd get a second butt whipping if he tried it.

Gabrielle had been intending to stick to fruit juice, so she could gather information for future poems, but somehow she was slipped cherry brandy. She ended up doing a strip tease on one of the tables. Strife was seen using a scrying mirror to catch the performance, muttering happily about blackmail potential. Xena was booed when she tossed her friend over her shoulder and carried her away to sleep it off--before she managed to get her top off. Most of the Gods had been ready to cover their eyes, lest the Gorgon effect strike, but there were a few who still hadn't become acquainted with the bard, and they felt a bit deprived. However, since Xena kept her free hand on her chakram, none of them felt much like protesting.

The Muses and the Graces collaborated on a narrative dance in honor of the happy couple. Ares and Joxer sat together on a small love seat and watched it unfold. Joxer watched, round eyed as they began to act out the fateful adventure with the hydra. He whispered to Ares, "So THAT'S why they wanted to borrow my old armor. Wow, Terpsichore is really graceful, to be able to dance in that stuff."

"I'm just kind of glad that Xena is gone. I don't think she'd care for how they're portraying her bard." He chuckled. "And do you see the horrified look on Hercules' face? I was surprised that the Muse portraying him was wearing long sleeves, but now I realized they had to do that so they could have the padding to represent his muscles."

The three Graces portrayed the hydra--each operating one of the heads. Jayce had helped them make the costume, and the three heads were quite ferocious. Each one was animated, so that the Graces could make the eyes open and close, and the jaws snap. As the dancers 'killed' each head, the Grace's let the heads flop limply. The dance featured the most feminine portrayal of Ares that was ever likely to exist, but even the fake beard couldn't make the Muse portraying him look macho. She did a very believable tumble from a small balcony, landing right before the hydra.

The Muse portraying Joxer charged the fake beast, just as the head was lunging toward the stunned pseudo-Ares. Somehow the actual sword thrust seemed much more controlled than it had been the first time around. There were gasps, and genuine cries of distress as 'Joxer' was injured, stage blood flowing copiously, and there were cheers when the sword speared up through the hydra's skull.

The Muses did a very credible job of portraying Ares' impatience with the 'heros' as he prepared to take the now limp 'Joxer' to help. It was perhaps better that Gabrielle was already passed out somewhere, as she didn't come off too favorably. There was laughter as the Muse portraying Apollo paused in 'his' ministrations to preen, and was roundly cursed by 'Ares'. The scene ended with 'Ares' hovering over the unconscious 'Joxer', a thoughtful look on 'his' face as 'his' hand settled gently on 'Joxer's' brow. The applause at the finish was long and sincere. Jayce was once again boo-hooing, and Jett was giving his youngest brother an interested look. He'd always loved Joxer, in his own way, but now there was a tiny hint of respect in his gaze.

Ares stood, bowing to the assembled players, and said, "That was more accurate than it had any right to be, and beautifully performed." His hand settled on Joxer's shoulder. "You showed some of the facets of what made me choose Joxer as my mate," he smiled almost reluctantly, "and you didn't make me look as bad as you could have." He bowed. "We thank you." He pulled Joxer to his feet, wrapping his arm around the other man's waist, "Now it's time for us to take our leave, but please continue to celebrate." He glanced down at a blushing Joxer. "We're going to."

*FLASH*

Joxer looked around. Ares had been close-mouthed about where they were going to honeymoon, and curiosity had been eating him up. Being a God, it could be anywhere. He'd heard that some gods favored the Elysian Fields, but he found the idea of celebrating the beginning of a new life together in the Underworld just a little... wrong. But with his new divine senses, he could tell that they were still on Earth.

They were standing at the top of a hill, a small, warm breeze ruffling their hair. Joxer looked around. There was a green valley before them, dotted with silver-blue ponds and the darker green of trees. It was a beautiful, peaceful place. "It's beautiful, Ares. Where are we?"

Instead of speaking, Ares turned him around. There was a small cottage on the hilltop behind them. It looked snug and comfortable, with a well filled woodpile beside the door, and a fine well nearby. There was a riot of colorful wildflowers growing along the sides, and Joxer could hear the coo of doves nesting in the eaves. It was an appealing picture, and there was something naggingly familiar about it.

Now Ares shook his shoulder gently, and pointed down. Joxer looked, and noticed that they were standing on a patch of bare, packed earth. Ares slowly swept his arm out, and Joxer followed the gesture. The patch they were standing on was part of a path. It meandered down the hill, into the valley, and disappeared into a stand of trees. Farther back, Joxer could see wisps of smoke rising--the sign of a village.

Suddenly he gasped, and his eyes flew to Ares' face. "It... it's MY place!" Ares nodded. "But how... I made it up--didn't I?"

"Not entirely, Joxer. Somehow you knew that this place existed. You just seemed so sure of it that I had to believe, too, and I spent every moment I could spare looking for it. I can't tell you how I felt when I found it." He smiled. "I had to move the cottage farther up, and I'll admit that I refurbished it a bit, but nothing else."

They were quiet for a moment, as Joxer gazed around in wonder. Ares indicated the sky, which was deepening into dusk. The western sky was ablaze with orange and red, with dark purple above. "It's sunset instead of sunrise."

Joxer embraced him, leaning up to kiss Ares softly. "That's perfect. Sunset doesn't have to be an ending. It can be a beginning, too."

They entered the cottage, and it was as perfect on the inside as the outside. The furniture was the type usually found in simple homes--plain and sturdy. The walls were clean, whitewashed to give the room some brightness. There was a fireplace, with a hearty fire blazing on the hearth. "I couldn't tell from your painting," said Ares, "but I gave us a separate room for sleeping."

"It's perfect." Joxer put his arms around Ares and kissed him deeply. "It couldn't be any less, because you made it for me--because you love me. It's the best gift I've ever had."

Ares' embrace tightened as the kiss deepened. There was nothing urgent about it. They had a long life together stretching before them, and the formal bond gave them a peace that many could never experience. Tongues met, caressing as well as their hands caressed. After a long moment, Ares moved his head back a little, and Joxer didn't try to press the kiss, because he knew that it wasn't a rejection--merely a pause. Ares leaned his forehead against Joxer's and whispered, "I want to give you another gift, if you'll accept it."

"You don't really need to ask."

"But I will. Joxer, will you make love to me?"

Joxer's smile was radiant. As he slipped his hand over the swell of his belly, he said, "I have evidence here that I will."

Ares shook his head. "That's not what I meant."

"Well, sure. Any way you... want..." He trailed off, looking into Ares' serious eyes. "You... you mean... you want me to... to..."

Ares nodded. "If you want to."

"I... are you sure?"

"Joxer, I want this marriage to be a true partnership. Sure, we'd never be able to convince people that it wasn't an 'I'm in charge' situation, but I want... I NEED for you to know that I don't want to OWN you, like chattel. There is no WIFE in this marriage. Besides..." Ares lowered his voice. "If you ever tell anyone, as much as I love you, I'll sic Strife on you. But I'm curious, and I want to--if you want me that way."

Joxer leaned back a little, giving him a fond, wry smile. "I may be a little slow on the uptake sometimes, but I'm not stupid, or crazy." Joxer grinned, and glanced toward the fireplace. A large pile of sumptuous furs and pillows appeared before it. Joxer glanced up at Ares and said, "Unless you'd prefer the bed?"

In reply, Ares began to strip off his wedding finery, carelessly letting the clothes fall where they might. Joxer followed suit, but Ares finished before he did, pushed his hands down to his side, and finished the job. When they were both naked they embraced again, hands seeking and stroking. After a few moments Ares sank slowly to his kness, his lips never leaving Joxer's skin, moving down his torso. He paused to press his face against the shallow mound of his husband's growing belly, winding his arms around Joxer's waist. Joxer rested his hands in Ares' hair, long fingers combing through the dark strands. "I love you so much," Ares whispered against his skin. "Both of you." Then he moved lower.

Joxer inhaled deeply as he felt the touch of Ares' tongue. He closed his eyes and sank into the sensations--heat and moistness, soft sounds, the musky scent of arousal. Soon he was hard, completely engorged with desire, and Ares took him into his mouth. He bobbed, sucking firmly, while one large hand held one of Joxer's buttocks, keeping him in place, while the other cupped his lover's testicles, massaging the gently.

Finally Joxer said hoarsely. "Stop now. If you don't, the second part of the wedding night probably won't happen till tomorrow."

Ares leaned back from his task, and Joxer felt a further spark when he saw his lover's eyes. The pupils were so dilated with desire that his eyes looked black, and the heat he saw there only strengthened Joxer's own feelings. Then Joxer saw that Ares, too, was erect, his hardened cock standing out proudly, drizzling clear pre-come. *I didn't even touch him,* Joxer thought, feeling a little awed, and humbled at the same time.

Ares moved over to the furs, settling himself comfortably, then held out his arms toward Joxer. Joxer started toward him, then hesitated. "Joxer? What is it, love?"

"It's just that I don't want to hurt you."

"Do you remember how it was our first time together?" Joxer smiled slowly, and Ares answered the smile.

"Yeah, but you knew what you were doing. BOY, did you know what you were doing. And I'm gonna be a... uh... first time driver."

Ares' eyebrows climbed. "But Meg's girls..."

"Oh, well, yeah--girls."

Ares chuckled. "The principle isn't all that different, you know." He kissed Joxer gently between phrases. "Patience. Gentleness, at least at first. The main difference is that I can't provide the necessary lubrication naturally, but... Come here." Joxer went to stand beside him. Ares held out his hand, and a small vial appeared in his palm. He handed it to Joxer. "That's easily taken care of." He rolled on his belly, hugging a cushion under his chin, and spreading his legs. "Go on, Joxer." He glanced back over his shoulder, his voice dry, and said, "If it helps, you can imagine I'm one of Meg's girls."

Joxer barked with laughter. "Don't make me drop the vial--I might break it. Oops, forgot. God here, can make more. That's really handy, and I'm babbling again."

Ares voice was warm. "If it ever reaches the point where I can't make you babble, Joxer, I will KNOW it's time for a second honeymoon." Joxer knelt behind Ares, between his spread legs, and opened the vial, coating his fingers with sweet smelling oil. He reached down and spent a minute lovingly massaging Ares' ass, then spread his cheeks a little, and wiped a generous amount around the pucker of his back entrance.

Ares was very quiet, staring into the middle distance, concentrating on the feel of Joxer's hands. Joxer rubbed up and down the crease, kneading as he passed over and around his asshole. Ares could feel it as the taut muscles relaxed, and whatever tiny misgivings he might have still had faded as Joxer worked patiently to prepare him. Ares knew that in his deepest self, Joxer was a nurturer, and a caregiver. It wasn't in his nature to be careless of someone else's well-being, or happiness.

When the first finger breached him, there was no discomfort, only a curious stretching sense. It was rather like standing up after sitting for a long time--actually pleasant. The friction caused when Joxer pumped his finger in and out was unfamiliar, but pleasurable. He smiled to himself when Joxer leaned over and kissed his back, hand still moving, and whispered, "Another?"

"Yes. It feels good." He grunted slightly as a second finger was pressed in alongside the first. Joxer hesitated, starting to speak, and Ares said firmly, "It STILL feels good. Go on."

Joxer continued, gradually moving his fingers apart to aid in the loosening. "Ares, you know that thing you do, when you do this?"

"The little spot. Yes?"

"Do you think I could...?"

"I'm sure you could, if you'd try, and I WISH you would."

"Okay, here goes. Look, tell me if it gets uncomfortable."

*Yeah--right.* He felt Joxer's fingers curve, then rotate, feeling. After a few questioning probes, there was a jolt of heat and pleasure, and Ares grunted. "There--right there."

"Here?" Joxer rubbed, and Ares squirmed, moaning. "Oo, yeah! Kinda hard to mistake." He rubbed again, and Ares made a low, growling sound that shot a bolt of pure lust up Joxer's spine.

"Pull out," Ares said shortly.

"Sure." Joxer was a little disappointed, because he'd been enjoying it, and he was pretty sure that Ares had, too.

But then Ares moved up onto his hands and knees, legs braced wide, and said, "Now, Joxer."

"You're sure you're ready?"

"It's like it was with you before--if I get any more ready, we'll be continuing this later."

Joxer used the last of the oil to slick his eager cock, then moved up behind Ares, putting one hand on his husband's hip, and using the other to part his buttocks. He shifted closer, pressing the flushed head of his cock to the glistening, slightly loosened hole, then began to press forward. He moved very slowly, alert to any sign of discomfort from Ares.

Ares bit his lip as he felt the hot thickness push up inside him, spreading apart his never-before-breached walls. It DID hurt a little--a dull ache, but the sense of intimacy and love made that negligible. He began to feel a little breathless as Joxer continued, but at last he felt Joxer's loins press against his backside, and knew that he'd taken it all. *And that's a relief, because he's hung like a bull, and I think if he WAS any bigger, or any less gentle, this might now have been a complete success.*

Joxer leaned down till his chest rested on Ares' back, and reached under and around. Finding Ares' cock, he began stroking him slowly, pleasuring him while Ares adjusted to his new state. When he could feel that once again Ares was fully aroused, Joxer moved his hips slightly, sliding out, then in, by just a couple of inches. Ares groaned softly, and it was impossible to mistake it for anything but approval.

Joxer began to fuck in a slow, even rhythm, gradually increasing the depth of his strokes. When Ares jerked and shuddered, Joxer knew that he'd managed to pass over the special spot, and he was careful to try to angle his thrusts to do it again, and again. He held onto his control with an iron grip, but then Ares began to respond rather than just react.

Joxer found his lover pushing back to meet him, doing it harder and faster. Finally he heard Ares growl, "I'm the God of War, Joxer, and I do nothing half-way! If I'm giving myself to you, then TAKE me!" And he squeezed.

The control evaporated. This WAS different than it had been with any of the women he'd been with. He'd always been careful not to hurt them, and he would try not to cause pain now, but he knew that Ares would not only accept strong lovemaking, he'd revel in it.

He let go. The joining was hot, hard, and intense. The only sounds in the room were the crackle of logs, harsh breathing, and the sound of flesh on flesh. Finally Joxer shuddered, and Ares gave a triumphant cry as he felt the hot gush of his husband's essence fill him. They rolled over onto their sides, and Joxer reached around again, finding Ares' hardness and quickly stroking him to completion.

They lay joined for a moment, breathing slowing to normal. After a moment, Joxer said, "Uh-oh."

Ares turned his head enough to look at him. "What do you mean 'uh-oh'? That was fantastic."

"Will you say that if you end up with a tummy about six months from now?"

"Why should...? Oh." Ares carefully pulled off Joxer's softening flesh, then turned in his arms and held him. "I was going to tell you, but somehow it just got lost in the shuffle. I spoke to Ace before the reception. He... uh... gave me a little something."

Joxer smiled. "No baby?"

Ares stroked Joxer's belly. "Just this one--till later, anyway. And speaking of which, how is the little one? We got pretty vigorous there at the end."

"Oh, he's... *yelp!*"

Ares sat bold upright. "WHAT IS IT?"

"Calm down, calm down. It was just our kid getting me back for jostling him. Just a particularly firm kick, is all."

"You're sure it isn't...?"

"It isn't," Joxer said firmly. "Though I think maybe it might be a good idea to postpone a repeat of this till AFTER he makes his debut. No use in stirring him up more than necesary."

Ares settled back down. "I can live with that, I suppose." They cuddled. After a moment, Ares said, "Um... Joxer? Tell me--when you were a kid, how were you at sharing your toys?"

"Well, there weren't actually many..." He thought of the golden 'toy' back at the Halls of War, and grinned, settling down. "Actually, as long as I'm allowed to play, too, I have no problem with sharing toys."

Part Twenty-two: Seventh Month

"Joxer, you're going to have to stop sucking lemons..."

They were sitting at the breakfast table, and Joxer looked up quickly. "Now look, Ares, you know I can't help it. At least the cravings have stopped being quite so weird. I think I should be allowed my sourness fits."

"I'm not trying to stop you. Didn't I set up that pickle barrel in our chambers? Let me finish what I was saying. You're going to have to stop sucking lemons when you're over at Apollo's place, at least when he's rehearsing his temple musicians. He came ranting to me that none of the woodwind or brass players could play after you sat there and made your way through two lemons. It took him two hours to get them all un-puckered."

"Well, considering some of the services they provide for him besides music, I would have thought that the puckering would be looked upon as a benefit."

Ares gave a startled bark of laugher. "I think your sense of humor is getting a little more snarky, Joxer."

"I now officially cannot see my feet without leaning over, I have to be sure to wear slip-on sandals instead of lace-ups, and I'm nervous if I'm more than a few yards from a chamber pot. It was bound to happen."

They were lying together in bed, taking a precious moment of idling after breakfast. Ares plucked the squeezed-out lemon rind away from him, and tossed it, making it disappear in mid-air. "I have to go." He gave Joxer a mid-range stern look. "You're staying home today, right?"

Joxer sighed. "Ace says stay, I'll stay."

"And no working in the garden."

"Ares! I need to get the tulip bulbs in, and the hedge is getting ragged." Ares was glaring, and Joxer trailed off. "Can I at least do it by will power?"

"If you sit down while you do. Now, is there anything you want me to bring back?" Joxer took a deep breath. "Uh-oh."

"It's not that bad."

"What is it?"

"Well, the last time I visited Falafel, he was trying out this new snack food. It's pigskin..."

"Pigskin? Strife told me they're going to be making funny shaped balls out of that in a millennia or two, and big, sweaty men will be knocking each other down trying to get their hands on them."

"No, not a ball. It's in strips, and he deep-fries them. They puff up, and are all crunchy. A little sprinkle of salt, a little chili sauce..."

"You're drooling. I guess you're serious. All right, I'll see what I can do, but this is one craving I just can't understand."

"You don't have to understand. You just have to cater to me."

Ares rolled his eyes. "For an humble person, you sure do have a bossy streak."

Joxer grinned. "Where'd you hear the rumor that I'm humble? Hey, did you really think that someone ELSE gave me the title of 'the Mighty'?"

There was a flash, and Aschlepius appeared. "Good morning. How's the little father today?"

"You know, Ace," said Joxer tartly, "Some day women will feel the urge to kill their doctors when they hear a similar question after a night of trying to sleep around their stomachs."

Ares looked at Ace, who nodded, "Yes, the mood swings are right on schedule. You remember how Aphrodite got with Cupid--and Psyche with Bliss."

Ares rolled his eyes. "With Aphrodite, it was the first time I ever saw Eris leave a room suddenly for anything but battle, or effect."

Aschlepius held up a small lidded pot. "I brought along some more ambrosia, just in case. It's always good to have a little on hand in these cases, and Joxer, quit making faces."

Joxer was rubbing his swollen stomach. "From all that stuff I've eaten, I'm going to expect this baby to kick Zeus' butt the moment he's born."

Ares got up and went around the table, pausing to give the back of Joxer's neck an affectionate squeeze. "I won't be back till late this afternoon. Take care of yourself, or I'll whip your ass as soon as you recover from having the baby."

*FLASH* He disappeared.

Joxer sighed happily. "It's so nice to know he cares."

Aschlepius put the pot on the table. "As long as I'm here, let's have a quick check over."

Joxer sighed. "Sure." He put his hands on the table and braced himself to stand up, grunting with effort. When he was upright he rested his hand on his stomach and sighed. "I don't know why the human race hasn't just died out, Ace. Right now it's hard to understand why a woman would willingly go through this more than once."

As Ace watched, Joxer's expression suddenly went blank, then was filled with a wondering contentment. He saw the new god's hand gently stroking his belly, and knew that the baby had moved. "That's why, Joxer," he said softly. "Come sit on the bed--it'll be easier for you."

"Since you're here to help me get up again, yeah." Joxer sat on the edge of the bed, and Ace made a quick, but thorough check, asking Joxer about how his breathing had been, any dizziness, any more nausea, waste eliminations... "There is one thing. Well, two."

Joxer stopped speaking after that admission, and Ace looked up to find him blushing slightly. "Out with it. Modesty has no place between a doctor and a patient when it comes to describing something that might be wrong. Especially in this case, Joxer. You're the first male god we've had pregnant like this, and we have to be alert to anything that might signal a problem."

"One of the things is nothing much. I mean, I've had the problem before. It's just flared up now, and I was wondering if there was something that could be done for it." Ace raised his eyebrows questioningly, crooking his fingers in a 'give it to me' gesture. "Um, well... It has to do with... Ace, my bottom has been itching and aching something fierce lately."

"The entire bottom, or just the actual aperture?"

"Aper-what?"

"The hole, Joxer."

"Oh. That. And I have to tell you, I'm pretty irritated with it. I was figuring on a little more whoopie time with Ar before I had to give it up."

Ace nodded, trying not to smile. "That would be hemorrhoids."

Joxer gave him a funny look. "I knew a guy named Hermeroi once, and he was a pain in the ass, but nothing like this."

Aschlepius laughed. "Uh--no. A hemorrhoid is... Well, it's sort of like for some reason part of your inside gets irritated, and swells. It happens quite a bit to pregnant women, people who eat rough diets, and camel drivers on caravans. I think for the last one it's because of all the bumpy riding they do. Anyway, I can bring you a cream for that. A couple of days worth of application will take care of it."

"Couldn't you make it a pill or potion instead?"

"It won't get to the problem like that, Joxer."

"Well, I'll have a hard time getting it to the problem if it's a cream," said Joxer. "Do you have any idea how hard it is for me to keep fresh after using the chamber pot? I'd have to have arms like an ape to do it comfortably."

Ace patted Joxer's shoulder. "That's what husbands are for. Now, what's the other problem?"

"It's weird," said Joxer quietly. "I think I know what it is, but I figured I'd better tell you, just in case." He pressed his hands over his chest, fingers spread, and Ace noticed that he was pressing very lightly. "I'm getting swollen here, and it's tender."

Ace scratched his head. "Well, if you were a goddess, I'd say it was perfectly natural. Breast enlargement is perfectly natural during pregnancy."

"I don't HAVE breasts!" said Joxer firmly. He bit his lip. "Well--I DIDN'T."

"Joxer, don't be embarrassed. EVERYONE has breasts. It's just that they're much less prominent in the male sex, since we don't have any practical uses for them."

"Oooh. So THAT'S where they get the expression 'as useful as tits on a Cretin bull'."

Ace's lips twitched. "Precisely. Or 'as necessary as stones on a temple virgin'."

"Did it happen to Zeus?"

Ace shook his head. "I seriously doubt he'd have remained entirely sane. No, Athena sprang from his head fully grown, thus there was no need for his body to prepare for nursing."

Joxer's eyes got wide. "Nuh-nursing?"

"I need to be sure that's what it is, and not an inflammation. Take off your shirt, please."

Joxer did as directed. His first instinct was to cross his arms over his chest. He'd only noticed the slight swelling and tenderness in the last couple of days, and was embarrassed by it. He'd stopped sleeping in the nude. The first time he'd climbed into bed wearing the loose silk pants and tunic, Ares had raised an eyebrow, but he didn't say anything. Contrary to what most people believed, the God of War was perfectly capable of being tactful. He realized that his husband was feeling self-conscious, and he wasn't about to cause him any more distress by commenting.

Ace bent over Joxer, examining him closely. Joxer was naturally fair, but not quite as pale as Strife. The area around both nipples was a bit more prominent. "Have you noticed a change of color in the nipples?"

"Now that you mentioned it, yeah. They're a little darker."

"M-hm." Ace palpitated the flesh around the nipples. "Is this tender?"

"Just a little."

"Well, I don't feel any excess heat, and that's good. There's no redness." Ace looked up at Joxer. "Joxer, what I'm about to do may ache a little bit. I apologize in advance, but I want to check something."

"Okay."

Joxer drew in a breath as Ace took one of his nipples between his thumb and forefinger and squeezed gently. "Take it easy. I'm not groping--I'm testing." He smiled at Joxer. "Still, I'm glad Ares had to go off on business. Devoted, passionate husbands of vulnerable life bearers are not notoriously tolerant of ANYONE handling their spouse's flesh. I'm going to check the other one now." He moved to the other side, squeezing carefully.

"What are you looking for? Tumors?" There was nervousness in Joxer's voice.

"No." Ace's expression relaxed a little, and he let go of Joxer, rubbing his fingers together. He showed them to the God of Peace, and they were damp. "I was looking for that. You've begun to produce pre-milk." Joxer gaped at Ace's hand, then looked down at his own chest in astonishment. "You haven't noticed this before? No damp patches on your clothes?"

"Well, there have been a couple of teeny spots once or twice, but I just figured I was sweating. I HAVE been a little heat sensitive lately."

"No, it's called colustrum, and it's perfectly natural. You might want to wear a very loose binding to keep your clothing clean. But be careful, you mustn't bind yourself. That could cause the ducts to block, and you could end up with mastitis, and you don't want that. I want you to be sure to get plenty of rest, and clean yourself several times a day, to prevent rashes or infections."

"I don't know how I'm going to explain this to Ares."

Ace sat beside him. "Joxer, I don't think you'll have to. He probably knows already. After all, he went through this sort of thing with Dite, and he's not inobservant." He patted Joxer's shoulder, and his voice was warm. "He's very aware of you, you know. I think he'd notice if something was off with you before he'd notice that he was getting ill himself. I have to go. Do you want me to send anyone to stay with you?"

"No, it's all right. There are the temple priests, if I need them, and I think Strife is going to drop by."

Ace smiled. "Think, or know?"

"He HAS been coming by pretty regularly."

"Good. He can be as aggravating as Tartarus sometimes, but he's also usually good for a laugh, and that can't hurt you. I'll see you again in a day or two."

*Flash*

Joxer got to his feet, noting that it took a little more effort than usual, and reminding himself to be careful about sitting on furniture that didn't have nice, sturdy arms to brace with. He went to the bedside table, heated the water in the wash basin with a thought, and began to sponge down his chest. The heat lessened the slight aching.

*FLASH*

Strife appeared, leaning against the wall beside him. "Hiya, Jox. What's shakin?"

Joxer sighed. "Me, in a few weeks."

"Say what?"

"I'm growing boobs, Strife."

"No kiddin?" Strife leaned over, peering closely at Joxer's chest. "Huh. Yah, I'd hafta call those itty bitty titties, as opposed to manly pectorals, but yer nevah gonna rival Aphrodite, Joxer."

"You're such a comfort to me." He dried off and put his shirt back on. "How are things going for you?"

Strife shrugged. "Same old, same old. Pranks, dirty tricks, insults, harrassment, sabotage, practical jokes, deviousness--then there's work..." He pointed at Joxer, grinning. "Ran inta yer lil bard tha othah night."

Joxer found he was smiling. "Okay, what did you do to her?"

"Nothin that woulda been any problem if she paid attention ta what she was doin. She was readin wunna her new poems at a tavern," he giggled, "an' I snuck a few unauthorized words an' phrases inta it. If she didn't have her mouth on automatic, she'da noticed in time ta switch it around. I'm particularly proud of rhymin 'went without a hitch' to 'I am Xena's bitch'"

Joxer was chuckling. "Xena didn't get upset."

"She was pretty drunk by then, an' she just banged her ale mug on tha table an' yelled, 'you damn betcha you are, Blondie'. I think they slept separate." He eyed Joxer, then said quietly, "Wunna tha barmaids had a baby, an' Gabby was tellin her that she knew someone who was expectin. She asked how soon aftah tha baby was born someone could expect ta be allowed ta visit."

Most of the Pantheon had decided to mention the God of Peace's former life as a mortal as little as possible, figuring it would make his adjustment to his new station easier. Strife had thought that was sort of like negating everything that Joxer had been before he attained divinity, and he decided that couldn't be good for the ego, or general mood. He knew he'd been right to tell Joxer this when he saw the smile spreading over his friend's face. "She did? I'll want her and the others here as soon as Ace and Apollo say it's all right, of course. Heck, they're still my friends--part of my family, really."

Strife nodded, then started to trace an invisible pattern on the tabletop, eyes following his finger. He said casually, "Yah think I might come see 'im aftah ya get a chance ta rest up from havin 'im?"

"Strife! I'm going to be very hurt if you DON'T show up as soon as the baby is dried off."

Strife looked up quickly, with a pleased grin. "Yah?"

"Of course! He's going to be your cousin, after all. Besides," Joxer patted his friend, "all children are yours, at the beginning."

"True, but there's a lot of parent's don't wanna admit that."

Joxer rolled his eyes, and his voice became smug, and a little falsetto. "Not MY little angel! He'd NEVER do anything like that." Strife cackled.

*FLASH*

Ares appeared. Joxer greeted him with a wide, genuine smile. "I thought you were going to be busy most of the day."

"I was. I AM," said Ares. "But I had to take a minute. I have a situation here." He was holding his hands cupped together, and now he extended them toward Joxer.

Joxer looked, seeing what looked like a clump of bedraggles fur. "A dead rat?" The tiny bundle of fur moved. *meeeeer* Joxer gasped, eyes going big. "It's a kitten! But it's so tiny. Ar, you shouldn't have taken it from its mother."

"I know, Jox, but the mother isn't in any shape to do it any good. One of the wardogs got hold of her. I was wondering why in Tartarus that scrawny little bag of fur would dash out and attack a full grown war dog. I mean, cats usually have better sense than that. He killed her, of course. Then I heard this sort of peep from the bush that the cat had charged out of, and for some reason I got curious and went and looked." He lifted his hands. "I found this."

Strife had come over and was examining the little creature. "Was tha dog close ta tha bush?"

Ares nodded. "He was nosing around it. I figured he was just deciding whether or not to water it."

"That explains it. Mama Kitty was defendin her baby." He shook his head. "I'm tellin ya, if we evah get tagetha a squad of mothahs with babies behind tha lines, we'll have a force more feared than those wussy Huns evah thought about bein."

"I won't argue with you on that." He looked down at the kitten almost helplessly. "I just didn't feel right leaving it there. It would have starved, or the dogs would have gotten to it, and..."

Joxer held out his hand. "Give it here."

Ares handed over the cat with a look of relief. "I have to go. The men think that I had a summons from Zeus. If they found out I was doing emergency service for a cat..."

Joxer waved at him. "Go. I'll handle this."

*FLASH*

Joxer held the kitten in one palm, cupping the other hand over it. "Well, its eyes are open, and it can stand up, but it DEFINITELY isn't weaned yet." His expression softened. "It's trembling. I think the first thing to do is get it warmed up..." He sniffed. "And, uh, cleaned." He offered the cat to Strife. "Hold it for a minute."

Strife took the animal. "Sure. Cats are mine, too, ya know." He held the kitten up so that it was eye-level. "What's new, pussycat?"

*hisssss!*

Strife burst out laughing. "Oh, you an' me are gonna get along." He held the kitten's upper body, letting the bottom dangle, and peered between its legs. "Gotcha a little tom here, Jox. If it survives, ya won't hafta worry about kittens, but everyone around ya who owns a queen cat will." The kitten was squirming. *hiss* *rooowr!* "He's cussin me out in kitty language."

"I'm not surprised. Stop looking under his tail--it's rude."

"Joxer, are ya familiar with cats? They show tha WORLD what's undah their tail."

Joxer materialized a shallow basin of warm water, some soft soap, and fluffy towels. "Okay, I'm ready."

Strife handed him over. "Bathin a cat? Yer braver than I am. Watch out. He's got his claws, an' he ain't afraid ta use 'em."

"Ouch. So I see. Luckily he's still small enough that he can't do much damamge." He dipped the kitten in the water. *ROOOWR!* *splash* *HISSS!* *slopsplash* *ARRRROW!* "Now I know what they mean by a hissy fit. Hold still."

*grrrrrrrr*

Strife laughed. "That wasn't a purr. I think that meant 'fat chance'."

"I'll be quick." *lather* *rub* *rinse* *lift* *dripdrip* *wrap* *rubrubrubmassagerub* "Done." He gently set the kitten down on the bed. It wobbled a few steps, then turned and glared at him. Standing stiff-legged, skinny tail standing up like an exclamation point, minute ears flat against rounds skull, the kitten proceeded to spit like water sprinkled on a hot griddle. Then it sat down and began to groom itself.

Strife cocked his head. "Seems in pretty good shape ta me. I think if ya can figure out how ta feed 'im, ya won't have any trouble."

"Oh, that's easy." Joxer went over to the table and started picking among the breakfast remains. "Whip up some warm milk, with a beaten egg in it, would you?" Strife materialized a small bowl of the requested ingredients, while Joxer got a napkin and tied a chunk of bread about the size of a fingernail in it. He went to the bed and sat down.

The kitten stopped licking his paw and eyed Joxer warily. Joxer said quietly. "Look, I know it's been a rough morning, but you're in a safe place now."

*snort* "I'm sorry, Jox, but hearin tha Halls of War refered to as a safe place..."

"Hush. Kitty, kitty, kitty." The kitten backed up a couple of steps. He'd dried off enough for his fur to fluff, and he did, puffing up to at least an extra third in size. The kitten was completely black, and his wide yellow eyes and gaping pink mouth (complete with very tiny, but sharp, teeth) showed up dramatically. "You're just going to have to trust me."

Joxer reached, and managed to grab the kitten as it tried to scamper away. *hiss* *rrrr* *arrow* *hiss* "Hold out that bowl." Strife did, and Joxer dipped the tied up bread into the warm, white liquid. Then he took a firm, but careful, grip just behind the kitten's skull and pressed the milksop against his mouth. The kitten was just opening his mouth to say something nasty, and the little wet bundle slipped in. He tried to spit it out--then got a taste. Immediately his jaws clamped shut, and he began to suck. His eyes squeezed half shut in bliss. After a second he spit out the now only slightly damp cloth and began to complain loudly, pawing at Joxer's hand. "Stay calm. There's plenty more where that came from."

He let go of the kitten and reached to dip the cloth again. The cat tottered over to his side and managed to rear up on his hind legs, bracing his front paws on the side of Joxer's leg, fussing loudly. "Okay, okay--greedy." He offered the milksop, and the kitten latched on again. Again the eyes squeezed happily, and a tiny throbbing noise started up. Joxer looked at Strife delightedly. "He's purring." The kitten was flexing his paws. "And he's working his claws in my leg. Ow."

"Hey, look at it this way, Jox. If ya keep 'im, he'll be good trainin fah bein a parent. You'll get ta deal with feedins at all hours of tha day an' night, messes, bein pestered. Lotsa practice."

Joxer was stroking the top of the kitten's head with one finger. "He's awful cute. I hope Ares won't mind."

"Are you kiddin me? Joxer, he brought 'im to ya, din't he? He hasta figure you'll be good fah each othah. Besides, it ain't like he's gonna deny ya anything in his power right now."

Joxer grinned. "I sort of figured that, but I'd rather it wasn't just because he's trying to humor the pregnant man." The kitten had finished his meal. He used the hold he already had on Joxer's pants to drag himself up onto the god's leg, then curled into a small ball of black fur and fell asleep, purring with every breath.

"I don't think that'll be a problem. An' judging from that lil booger's attitude, he might be able ta knock Greagus back on his ass a time or two, once he gets his full growth."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Ares was later than he'd thought he'd be. He was irritated, and a little worried, by the time he finally appeared in the Halls of War. The worry and anger drained away the moment he saw Joxer, leaving him with nothing but that sense of contentment and peace that was fast becoming more familiar.

His lover was dozing, stretched out on a couch. Something looked a little odd, and it took Ares a moment to realise that the kitten he'd brought home was sleeping, curled up almost precisely on Joxer's adam's apple. Ares couldn't help smiling as he moved to stand over his husband. "Joxer," he said softly.

"Mmf?" Brown eyes opened, warming as his gaze fell on Ares. "Hi. I fell asleep."

"So I see. That's good, though. If you need to rest--rest." He pointed. "I see the infant has survived."

Joxer carefully stroked the kitten, his hand covering it completely with each stroke. It opened its eyes and squeaked sleepily. "I think he'll be fine. He's a lively little fella. You should have seen him trying to chase a ball of paper. I laughed so hard I almost wet myself--not that it takes much to cause that these days."

Ares pulled a chair close and sat down. "So you'll be keeping him?"

Joxer looked at him. "If you're not, like, allergic, or anything--I'd like to."

"No. It's just that if you thought it might be too much trouble, I could bring him to Heccate. She loves cats--says it's a witch thing."

"No, I want to keep him." He rubbed the kitten behind the ears, getting a purr. "He needs me."

Ares reached out and laid his palm against Joxer's cheek, his thumb stroking the faint pink line left by the hydra blood that had marked him when he saved Ares' life. "A lot of people need you. Some of us are lucky enough to KNOW it." He pointed at the kitten. "What are you going to name it?"

"I dunno." Joxer lifted the kitten, bringing it nose-to-nose. "What would you like to be called?"

The kitten blinked at him. *mjau*

Joxer and Ares laughed, and Joxer said, "I guess that answers that question. Welcome home, Mjau."

Part Twenty-three: Gravid

"So help me, for the rest of my life, I am going to do my damndest to make sure every pregnant woman has as much peace as its possible for me to give her."

Ares gave Joxer an amused look. "A laudable ambition, Joxer, but remember that only the Greek are under your direct jurisdiction, and a completely anxiety free pregnancy is simply not natural."

"Details, details," Joxer grumbled. "I HATE having to limit my work so much. I mean, I just became the God of Peace, and I'm having to delegate right and left to my priests, who are ALSO new. What are my worshippers going to think of me?"

"They'll think that you're a wonderful, sensible person dedicated to the health of our unborn child. They'll think that, or they'll deal with me."

Joxer smiled faintly. "You'll just make more work for me like that."

Mjau trotted into the room, heading straight for Joxer. In the six weeks he'd grown a good bit. He was still small, but he was sleek, sturdy, and full of attitude. He paused long enough to wind himself around Ares' legs, making sure to rub his jaw on the man's boots, scent marking him so that any interloper would know who he belonged to. Then he went to his main human and did the same. Sitting beside Joxer's feet, he looked up expectantly. *mjau*

Joxer gazed down at him. "I am NOT bending down to pick you up." The kitten instantly jumped, snagged Joxer's trousers, and started to climb.

Ares reached over, plucked the kitten off, and deposited him in Joxer's arms. "You need to break him of that. It's going to get painful if he's still doing it when he's full grown."

"Yeah, I know. I spoke to Artemis, since she's the big one on animals, but apparently there isn't much theory on obedience training cats."

"Imagine my shock."

"Strife advised me to keep a water bottle nearby and give Mjau a squirt when he does something over the limit."

Ares snorted. "Sounds like something Strife would suggest."

Joxer scratched the kitten under the chin. "Strife's gonna be surprised by how big you've gotten. He hasn't seen you for almost a month," he said sadly. Ares shifted, a little guiltily. He'd kept Strife busy lately, and had hinted broadly that he spend a minimum of time in the Halls of War. He just wasn't comfortable having the God of Mischief around Joxer when he was in such a vulnerable state, but he was beginning to realize how much Joxer missed Strife's companionship. Joxer materialized a small gobbet of liver and offered it to Mjau, who devoured it quickly. "I'm so glad you got weaned."

"Me, too. That waking up two or three times a night when you had to feed him sucked."

Joxer gave him a wry look. "Yes, I'm sure that will never happen with a new baby." He waddled to the sofa and lowered himself carefully to sit on the edge. "Oh, man. I have REALLY gotten huge in the last couple of weeks." He flinched, and Ares looked concerned. "Relax. Our son may be a vintner--he seems to be practicing stomping grapes. Mjau--play, or food?" The kitten looked horrified. "Yeah, it's a bitch having to choose, so don't." Joxer materialized a tiny minnow, then pitched it on the floor, where it began flapping frantically. Mjau leaped, for an instant looking a bit like a flying squirrel, all four limbs spread wide. He landed in a crouch, wiggled his tiny butt, then pounced on the minnow and began to wrestle it. "That'll keep him busy for awhile. He'll have to kill it at least six times before he's satisfied. Hand me that salve that Dite sent, would you?"

Ares got the squat alabaster jar, opening the lid and sniffing it as he brought it over. "It smells good. A little girly, but good."

"Well, what did you expect from Dite--something woodsy and manly?" He held out his hand.

Ares kept hold of the jar. "What's this for? I know the cream Ace gave you was for the hemeroids, but what's this for?"

"It's for--something else. It's a skin cream."

"You don't need it. Your complexion is better than ever. I used to think that 'glowing' bit was crap that everyone spread to keep pregnant women happy, but it's true with you."

"Stop it. Shouldn't you be writing down your thoughts on the philosophy of war, or something?"

Ares sat beside him. "Okay, now you're trying to get rid of me. What is this?" Joxer tried to grab the jar, but Ares had longer arms than he did, and held it away. "You might as well tell me--you know how stubborn I can be."

"It IS a skin cream. It... it's just not facial cream."

"Joxer..."

"It's for my belly, okay? Dite said it will keep me from getting stretch marks. I'm using it on my chest, too--at least till I have to start nursing the baby." He folded his arms and tipped his chin down, looking at the floor. "I just don't want to end up with streaks running up and down my body."

"Why didn't you just say so? Take off your shirt and lie down, and I'll..."

"No!"

Ares blinked at him, then said slowly, "Joxer, does this have any connection to why you've stopped undressing for bed?"

"I take off my clothes."

"And then you put on nearly as much again." Ares put an arm around his shoulders. "Tell me your aren't embarrassed--not with me."

Joxer bit his lip, then said faintly, "I've spent my life usually being the skinniest, palest, clumsiest person in the neighborhood."

"Joxer, you're..."

"Let me finish. Then we got together--and for the first time I felt--" he smiled faintly. "Hell, they don't have a strong enough masculine word for it. 'Handsome' and 'good looking' just don't cover it."

"Despite what some people think, Jox, the term beautiful is perfectly appropriate for a man as well as a woman. If you doubt it, look at Cupid. I think you're beautiful."

Joxer nodded, and his eyes were soft. "I know. That's why I want to keep covered up. I want you to keep thinking that."

Ares sighed, then rested his head on Joxer's shoulder. "Joxer, you're still too damn insecure. First off, if a god has an ounce of sense, they realize that mere physical appearance counts for very little. Hell, we can change it at will, remember? Strife once persuaded Deimos to make his hair black, then Strife went blonde... Tartarus, I don't even want to think about it. It took the Fates three days to untangle the threads."

Joxer frowned. "Did that have anything to do with that time that the Benevolent Order of Camel Traders was chased with whips through Corinth by that group of women who'd organized an animal protective order?"

Ares nodded. "We managed to hush most of the incidents up, but that one was a little too public to cover, but never mind that. What I'm trying to tell you is that not only don't I find the physical changes brought on by the pregnancy distasteful, I find them downright sexy."

Joxer's eyes got round. "I had no idea you were that kinky."

"Joxer, it's because it's YOU, and this is happening because of the baby we made together."

Joxer was quiet for a moment, then slipped him a sidelong look. "Sexy, huh?" Ares grinned. "Fat lot of good it does us now."

"Oh, I don't know about that." Ares was eyeing the jar of salve speculatively. "Now, go on and take off your shirt, and I'll treat your belly while I consider this."

Still feeling shy, Joxer unlaced his loose shirt, then removed it. He reflexively crossed his arms over his belly, and Ares said, "Don't try to hide from me."

Joxer was blushing a little as he let his arms drop, and mumbled, "There's really no point in trying, anyway. It'd be like trying to stuff a boulder in a belt pouch."

"Lay down." As Joxer stretched out, Ares dipped his fingers into the salve. With his clean hand he loosened the lacing on Joxer's pants and pushed the waistband down below his husband's stomach. "There it is." He bent over and kissed Joxer just above the navel. "I've been missing this." He began to massage the ointment into the taut skin.

"Yeah, you have been rather fond of my abdomen since you found out I'm pregnant."

"It's the closest I can get to my son, and I'm close to you at the same time--a bonus." Ares felt a push against his hand, and smiled. "Hello, little one." He pressed back, firmly, but gently, then continued to rub, working the ointment into Joxer's skin. "This stuff seems to be working. Your skin is feeling more elastic already."

Joxer nodded. "I'm glad you're helping, because truthfully, I've gotten to where I can't really reach the underside of my belly--not without cramping our kid, anyway."

"I can take care of that."

Ares showed particular attention to the undercurve of Joxer's pregnant belly. After a moment, his hand drifted lower, and Joxer's eyebrows, along with something else, rose slowly. "Um, Ares? That isn't where I'm worried about getting stretch marks."

"No? But it seems to be swelling quite a bit. I really think I should rub a little more of this on, just in case."

Joxer sighed voluptuously as Ares slipped his hand into the opening of Joxer's trousers and continued to caress his hardening prick. He murmured, "As tired as I am lately, I'm liable to drop off to sleep before I can return the favor."

"Joxer, I'm not keeping score." Ares' voice was amused. "Just relax and enjoy it. I spoke to Ace before I came over. He said that if your hemeroids are all right, we can do a little something, so we can try in a day or so."

"Sounds good, but I don't see HOW."

"If I have to, I'll have Hephastus rig up some sort of sling."

Joxer had closed his eyes, and now he slitted one open again. "Oo. Kinky."

"The gods have a lot of time to experiment."

Joxer enjoyed a nice, leisurely handjob. Ares was careful to make the buildup slow and steady, so that Joxer's orgasm was almost gentle. He wasn't going to have his very pregnant husband straining himself for ANYTHING, not even conjugal bliss. When it was done he cleaned Joxer up, helping him rearrange his clothing.

He'd just finished when there was a sudden flash of red light, and Cupid appeared. This was startling enough--Cupid was usually one of the few who bothered to send some sort of warning before he zapped into their private chambers--usually a dove or a few fluttering hearts. This time there was only the crackle of energy, sparks, and there he was.

The look of him added to the startlement. Cupid was one of the most laid-back gods Strife had ever known, but now he was almost HUMMING with tension. His wings were ruffled, snowy feather fluffed, and his hazel eyes were almost shooting gold sparks. He stalked over to the sofa, ignoring Joxer (which was also unusual, as he'd always been polite) and ground out, "WHERE IS HE?"

Ares' eyes narrowed, and he stood up. As the God of War, and a father, he wasn't going to take that tone of voice from his son, and a fellow deity. "Who are you talking about, and you'd better rethink that tone of voice."

Cupid stopped short, breathing heavily, fists clenched at his side. But he took a moment, and his voice was much more level when he spoke again. "Strife."

Joxer sat forward instantly. "Is something wrong with him?"

Cupid threw up his hands. "Do you want a list?"

"What's he done now?" asked Ares.

"Oh, only made my life a living Tartarus, that's what. Only completely ruined a match I've been busting my balls over. Only gotten me in deep shit with Grandpa AND Grandma. ONLY BEEN HIS INSANE, EXASPERATING, TROUBLE CAUSING SELF!"

"Only done what he was created to do?" Joxer said quietly. There was abrupt silence. Cupid looked at him, blinking. Joxer was gazing at him steadily, and Ares could feel the power in the room rise subtly as Joxer exerted his godhood, sending calmness toward his agitated son. "Perhaps it would help things if you calmed down a little, and gave us a few details."

Cupid nodded a little numbly, then dropped into a chair. "Have either of you heard of Anieli and Damara?" Joxer and Ares both shook their head. "Well, I'm not surprised. They aren't exactly prominent, but they ARE significant. Damara is one of Grandma's priestesses, and Anieli is one of Grandpa's... um..."

"Offspring?" offered Joxer.

"Joxer--God of Tact. A couple of generations removed, but yes, so he's taking an interest in HIM, and Hera is taking an interest in HER. When the mortals showed a little interest in each other, Zeus and Hera decided it would be a good thing if they got together. I was given orders to smooth things along--but the natural way--no arrows or potions." He shrugged. "It's more effort like that, but the spark was there, so I didn't mind, but DAMN they didn't make it easy. Finally, FINALLY it's their wedding day. I figured things were set. Dad, you didn't have any squirmishes planned for the area, Apollo promised to make sure there was plenty of sunshine..."

Ares frowned. "Don't tell me that you weren't there personally to supervise?"

Cupid rubbed his face. "I was tired--I slept late. I thought I'd make an appearance at the wedding reception. There was no reception, because there was no wedding. Dad, I have NEVER seen that sort of uproar outside one of Bacchus' festivals gone bad. Hera's priestesses were getting ready to throw down on the groom's friends when I got there. It took me some time before I could get a semi-coherant account of what had happened. There was a whole string of escalating minor disasters leading up to the bride catching the groom groping an old flame, hysterics, and a physical altercation between the couple, complete with creative cursing." He pursed his lips. "If what some of the guests told me is accurate, Dad, Damara must've counceled a few of your more seasoned camp followers to get her vocabulary. Anyway, I took a look around, and Strife's power signature was all over the place. He didn't even try to hide it."

"Why should he?" Again Cupid stared at Joxer. "Well, why should he? He was doing his job, making mischief, right?"

"But Joxer," growled Cupid, "THIS wedding? It was supposed to be special."

"Did he know that?"

"He..." Cupid trailed off. "He had to." He looked at Ares. "Didn't he?"

Ares shrugged, but Joxer said, "Neither of us knew, and that didn't surprise you."

"Well, yeah, but Strife..." He gestured, searching for words. "He just seems to know things." He scratched his head, and a tinge of doubt crept into his tone. "I figured he knew this."

"He isn't stupid," said Joxer firmly, "and he isn't suicidal--now." Cupid looked at him sharply. Joxer stared back at him, not explaining, then said, "I can see that something is going to have to be done about this Cupid, and I can see that you're upset, but I want you to remember two things--Strife probably didn't know as much as everyone seems to think he did, and maybe you don't know as much about Strife as you think YOU do."

Ares patted Joxer's back. "Don't work so hard. Cupid, the God of Peace should have a little peace in his own home. You'd better go take care of this situation." Cupid looked back at Joxer, and they exchanged a long look, then the Love God nodded and vanished. This time the flash was more subdued. Ares said, matter of factly, "Cupid is going to kick Strife's ass." Joxer tipped him a look. "He's my son, Joxer."

Joxer smiled at him enigmatically. "Yes, he is. That's why I'm not worried about what he's going to do to Strife."

Chapter Twenty-four: Confrontation

An hour or two after Cupid left, Hermes appeared in the Halls of War. He was talking before the sparks of his arrival had a chance to settle. "All Tartarus has broken loose, Ares. Strife is..."

"In deep crap--I know," said Ares. "Why should now be any different than usual?"

"Oh, but he has both Zeus and Hera..."

"They're both pissed, because he messed up the wedding of a couple of their favorites. Hermes, you could have saved yourself a trip. We already know the gossip."

"Ah, but do you know what Strife's punishment is going to be?" Ares and Joxer exchanged silent looks, and Hermes nodded smugly. "Thought not." He pulled a scroll from his belt. "This is the official communication from Zeus, but let me just give you a hint..."

"Why don't you give me the scroll instead?"

"I will, but it's no fun to just hand the message over. Being the messenger to the gods is a boring job, Ares. I have to amuse myself SOMEHOW. Anyway, here's the hint--" He paused.

"Hermes, if you don't get on with it, I'm peeling off one of those winged sandals and cramming up your ass."

"Touchy. You thought that Cupid was frustrated and irritated? Wait till you see how he is after having to work with Strife for a while."

Ares, sitting on the sofa with Joxer, sat forward abruptly. "What?"

Hermes nodded, finally handing over the scroll. "This is from Zeus, officially ordering you to give up Strife's services for an undetermined period of time--more specifically, until the Anieli/Damara fiasco has been settled to the satisfaction of the involved parties."

Joxer blinked. "Until Anieli and Damara are happy with their situation?"

Hermes waved dismissively. "Not the mortals. Pfft. Who's worried about what they think? No, until Hera and Zeus are satisfied."

Ares had unrolled the scroll and been reading it. Now he dropped it on the floor, and rested his forehead in his hand. "Fuck. I'll never get him back."

Joxer patted his back. "Oh, come on. If those two really love each other, it shouldn't be all that hard to show them..."

"Joxer--we're talking about Hera and Zeus being happy with the same thing. And we're talking about STRIFE bringing this about. Compared to that Sisyphus has an easy task."

Joxer frowned. "You don't have a lot of confidence in him, do you?" Ares just looked at him quizzically. "Ares, have you, or have you not, told me that Strife is a good second-in-command?"

"Well, he's... adequate."

Joxer snorted. "Like you tolerate adequate."

Ares decided not to discuss this with Joxer. His lover was always tenderhearted, and the pregnancy was obviously making him even more sentimental. Ares didn't want to upset him by arguing Strife's merits or flaws. The fact that he was having a bit of trouble coming up with really strong arguments (aside from the usual one that Strife was a bit nuts--which was sounding a little lame at the moment) had nothing to do with it. "Eris can take up some of the slack, but it looks like I'm going to be even busier for the next week or so. Maybe I can get Hestia or Demeter to move in while..."

"No."

"Joxer, don't be so abrupt in your refusal."

"Okay. No way. Ares, things are going terrific. Ace says the baby isn't due for over two weeks. I have a horde of concerned priests, yours and mine, if I do so much as squeak, and I'm getting a lot better at that mental summoning trick. If anything at all even LOOKS like it's going to go wrong, believe me--you WILL know about it."

"Maybe I could just have Hestia over during the day."

"No. She's a great gal, but you might as well just tie me hand and foot and swaddle me in lamb's wool. I don't mind being pampered, but I can live without being smothered. Besides--the last time she was here for more than a half-hour she rearranged my kitchen. I'm not having it."

"But..."

"Ares?"

"What?"

"No."

*sigh* "Why couldn't I have fallen in love with a nice, docile, obedient airhead?"

"You'd have been bored to death in a month."

Ares smiled wryly. "Not half full of yourself, are you?"

Joxer shrugged. "It's your own fault. Keep telling someone how wonderful they are, and it's bound to happen."

Late Afternoon, the Next Day

Joxer was examining a tiny pair of black boots, finely stitched out of butter soft kid leather. "These are quite possibly the cutest things on the face of the earth."

*mjau!*

Joxer glanced down at the kitten, who was swishing his tail. "All right, I'll rephrase that--these are quite possibly the cutest INANIMATE things on the face of the earth. Satisfied?" The kitten sneezed and stalked off.

Ares, sitting beside him, was staring at the booties. "How the hell does Hestia get the stitching so tiny and even?"

"Goddess thing?"

"Probably. It seems a little silly, considering the fact that the baby will have outgrown those by the time he can actually WALK."

"That doesn't make a difference. Strife once said that in the future parents will pay dinars and dinars for infant shoes, just because they have the name of the Goddess of Victory on them."

Ares shook his head. "I wonder what Nike would make of that?" *Flash* Cupid stood before them, a glower on his face. Ares sighed. "Just when I think I'm going to have a whole day without trouble. What is it?"

"We need to have a talk, Dad."

"What's Strife done now?"

"And that's EXACTLY what we need to have a talk about."

"Look, he's your problem right now. Believe me, I'm not unsympathetic, but I don't think Zeus and Hera want much intervention on this."

"Why do you think I'm here because Strife screwed up?"

"Two reasons--your expression, and... this is Strife we're talking about."

Cupid pointed at him. "And THAT is why I'm here! You just assumed that Strife had to have done something stupid, crazy, or incompetent. Actually he's been doing quite well--much better than I expected..." Some of the irritation went out of his expression, and he drooped a little. "And I'm going to have to deal with that about myself."

"Cupid, what are you going on about?"

Joxer laid aside the booties. "He's talking about the way Strife has been treated here on Olympus."

Cupid nodded, and Ares frowned in puzzlement. "What do you mean? He's treated no differently from everyone else."

"Dad, PLEASE!" snapped Cupid. "Can you name one other god or goddess who has been treated with such a consistent lack of respect, if not downright hostility? It's shameful. I guess I can see where it would happen with most of the others--a lot of them are too shallow to see beyond his godhood, but I would have thought you of all people..."

Ares was frowning. "Cupid, I'm your father--YOU don't scold ME. I don't know what you're getting so upset over. All right, so I haven't exactly bent over backward to make him feel like a swell fellow and a prince of a god. It isn't my job."

Cupid was quiet for a moment, then said, "Since when has family relations been considered a job?"

Ares didn't exactly flinch. That was a sore point with him. The world at large saw him as cold and ruthless. His head-butting with his half-brother, Hercules, was no secret, and the strained relationship between he and his father would be the stuff of myths. But he DID care about family. He'd been a good father, to the extent he was allowed by Cupid's placement in the House of Love. "I took him in when Eris couldn't cope. I trained him. You know that I don't waste my time training people unless they're worthy."

"I know that, but I'm not sure Strife has associated that with himself. I'm pretty sure he sees all that he's gotten so far from anyone in his life as a reluctant obligation." Cupid sat in a chair, and rubbed his face. "He acts surprised every time I'm the least bit considerate, or... or decent." He threw his hands up angrily. "Fuck, I'm as guilty as you are! We were friends when we were little, then when his godhood started manifesting it just sort of... drifted. It never even occurred to me to try to keep him close."

"He doesn't exactly make it easy..."

"He's afraid to. If you think for sure someone is going to push you away, you don't make the first move, do you?"

Ares, for one of the few times in his life, was feeling at a loss. He hadn't often questioned his own actions, and he didn't want to now. But it looked like he was finally having that 'talk' that Cupid, Dite, and Joxer had been threatening him with. "All right, so I didn't tuck him in and tell him bedtime stories. I looked after him. I kept his guts inside his skin till he could take care of himself. Believe me, with his godhood, that wasn't all that easy."

"Ares?" Joxer said quietly. "Sometimes simple survival can be over rated."

"Look," said Cupid, "I'm going to tell you something that you might not have the easiest time dealing with, but you're going to have to. Deal with it--I mean. I have feelings for Strife."

"He's your cousin. I'd be surprised if you didn't."

*sigh* "Dad..."

Ares stood up and started pacing, not looking at Cupid. "All right, he's in deep shit with Hera and Zeus right now. I can understand you being worried about him and wanting to help, but don't go confusing pity with love. You could find yourself stuck in a situation that would be very awkward. I mean, you and Strife..."

Joxer stood up, not an easy feat for him at this stage, and he rested his hand on his bulging belly. "So this is the result of pity?"

Ares stopped abruptly, shocked. "Joxer, how could you think...?"

"Ares, shut up for a second and listen. I've been considered pale, skinny, and not too tightly wrapped. Sound familiar? You took charge of me because I'd been hurt helping you--" Ares started to speak, and Joxer talked over him. "Yes, it grew into something a lot more. But let's be honest--how many people would have thought that there could be ANYTHING between us but obligation?" Ares scowled, looking down, and Joxer put a hand on his shoulder. "Isn't it possible that this could be the same sort of thing? That there could really be something here? Maybe there isn't, but you can't just deny even the chance, simply because it doesn't fit your concept of the universe." He smiled faintly. "I've learned recently that there are very few absolutes in this world."

Ares looked at Cupid, expression still almost sullen. "What do you want from me?"

"Lighten up on him a little," said Cupid instantly. "I think you really DO care about him, and it wouldn't kill you to let him know occasionally. I'm going to be trying. I'm just hoping he'll let me get close enough to see how I can really help him."

Ares grunted. "I can't promise anything, Cupid."

"Just look at him with fresh eyes, Dad. Leave yourself open to seeing something other than what you expect to see."

Ares grunted again. "I need to go check over some strategy."

He left. Cupid shrugged. "That's Dad. Never one for prolonged good-byes."

Joxer grinned. "Oh, I don't know about that." Cupid caught his significant look, and they shared a smile. "Well, since he's feeling uncomfortable, he probably won't be back till you leave. Can you stay for a while? I'm more-or-less temple bound right now. I love Ares, but I lived among mortals all my life, traveling, and I'm starved for some variety in my company."

"Sure, I can stay for dinner. Strife is watching Bliss."

Joxer's smile was soft. "He'll like that. He loves children."

"I noticed that. He's one of Bliss' favorite people." Cupid shook his head. "And if Joy likes him, how come other people can't see what he does?"

"He's a child, Cupid. His eyes are still innocent, they haven't been clouded by the expectations of the world."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The next day Ares was broody. Joxer didn't say anything, because he knew that Cupid had given the War God a lot to think about. He quietly left Ares to his contemplation, just making sure that he took care of himself, did everything he should, and nothing he shouldn't, so that his husband would have nothing to distract him.

They were relaxing together on the sofa, Ares sitting behind Joxer, chin on his shoulder, gently stroking his belly, when a shower of blue sparks announced an arrival. It was Strife, looking just a trifle unsteady and green, for just a moment. Joxer said, "Hello, Strife. Are you all right?"

He gave Joxer a quick grin, ready to deny any problems. "Yah, I'm fine."

"You're supposed to be with Cupid." Ares made it sound like an accusation.

"He's comin. I thought I'd just drop in a little early an' say hey." He gave them a little wave. "Hey."

Joxer smiled back. "Hey."

"Unc, I was just thinkin... Ya know, I still haven't gotten that ambassador in a twist yet. I was gonna do it tha next day, but tha manure hit tha blades of tha rotatin aeration device..."

Ares gave him a 'what the Tartarus are you talking about?' look, and Joxer explained, "Shit hits the fan. One of Salmoneus's inventions. You don't wave the fan, there are a lot of fans attached to a central wheel, and it spins by..." Ares quirked an eyebrow. "It's kind of complicated, and it was more trouble than it was worth, but believe me, what he's talking about is a big mess."

Strife started speaking rapidly. "Anyways, I'm sure if ya had a talk with Zeus he'd give me some time off, an' I could get it taken care of. He's gotta state banquet today, an' that would be tha perfect opportunity." He giggled, obviously pleased with an idea. "He's gonna make a speech, an' I'm pretty sure I can get him ta screw up when he goes ta say 'I wanna honor your ancestors' an' say instead 'I wanna sleep with your mothahs'."

Ares was nodding. That would be good, and impossible to trace back to the House of War--classic Strife. The thought surprised him a little. Strife really WAS good at his job. The fact just didn't occur to Ares very often. But after Cupid had left, Joxer had made it very clear that Strife's time with Cupid was important, and not just for the Mischief God to straighten up the mess he'd made. "It can wait."

Strife looked disappointed, but continued, "Well, ya got that rebellion scheduled in tha Sixth Battalion of tha Praetorian Guard. If they aren't gonna think yer directly responsible, I need ta get started now, an'..."

Ares waved away the protest. "I can send your mother."

Strife was protesting that Eris would be more likely to start a massacre, and Ares was assuring him that she'd be directed to show restraint (which was a rather ridiculous concept--Eris and restraint didn't go together).

*FLASH*

Cupid appeared, holding Bliss in his arms. "Gran'pa!" The little boy immediately started squirming till Cupid deposited him on the floor, then he came pelting toward the sofa--toward the heavily pregnant God of Peac e. All the men in the room were well aware of just how hard those little feet could be when Bliss tried to climb up on someone. He was moving like a charging bull, and everyone started making frantic warning noises. Ares was tensing to move and block the child, but it was all unnecessary. Bliss came to a complete halt, then moved forward slowly and gave Joxer's legs a soft hug. "Hi, Joxie. Can I see the baby?"

Joxer laughed in pleased relief. "Sure, Bliss."

The little boy spread his small hands on the globe of Joxer's belly and pressed his ear to the swell, listening intently for the baby's heartbeat--and maybe something more. Ever since Bliss had announced to the world that 'Joxie gots a baby in his belly', the God of Joy had seemed to have a special connection to the unborn child.

Bliss informed the room that the baby's heart was bumping along steadily, then began, "Stwife was..."

Strife interrupted abruptly, and that was unusual. Oh, not the interrupting--he did that all the time--with adults. But was always willing to let a child have their say, very patient and attentive. And Bliss was his favorite, so for him to step over the little boy's speech--that was odd. "I was gonna teach tha kid ta recognize loaded dice, in case Zeus decided ta pluck him, an' I don't mean feathahs." Everyone in the room gave him a look--puzzled, amused, or irritated. "What?"

Ares growled, "Strife, I swear, if you teach my grandchild how to cheat at dice..."

"Dad." The single word from Cupid was cold, and Ares forced himself to bite back the threats he'd been about to issue.

Ares saw a significant look pass between Joxer and Cupid. "Love, help me stand up, would you? I think I'll take my milk out in the garden today." Ares gently helped Joxer to his feet an' materialized a big goblet of milk, handin it to him. "Thank you." Joxer ruffled Bliss's hair. "Bliss, I always give Mjau some of my milk. Would you like to come watch him? He's been trying to catch butterflies in the garden the last couple of days."

"Yeah!" Bliss looked around eagerly. Being Joy, baby animals were more or less in his realm of influence. He raised his treble voice and called, "Mjau. Here, Mjau!"

Ares was shaking his head. "Calling a cat by name. I think they don't come just to spite us."

Bliss raised his voice again. "KITTYKITTYKITTYKITTYKITTY!" Mjau sauntered into the room and looked at Bliss. *rowr* Bliss pointed at Joxer. "Milk." The cat trotted over and began to rub against anyone available, purring and chirping.

Strife nodded. "Yep. Tha kid has learned that bribery can be very effective."

Joxer gave his hand to the little boy. "Strife, come keep us company." Strife looked like he was going to object, but then he looked at Ares and Cupid, who were eyeing each other. He shrugged, and followed Joxer and Bliss out into Joxer's garden.

Strife thoughtfully zapped up a comfortable chair, complete with footstool, for Joxer. "Thank you, Strife. Now, I'd better give Mjau what he was promised." He materialized a saucer and dribbled some of the milk into it, then handed it over. "Put that down, will you?"

Strife put the saucer on the grass, then he and Bliss sat beside it and they all watched as Mjau busily cleaned the plate. "Gotta hand it ta ya, Jox. I wasn't sure that lil booger was gonna make it, but he looks as healthy as Pegasus now." Strife reached down and tapped the kitten on the head. Mjau instantly stood on his hind legs and boxed at him with his paws, whiskers bristling fiercely--but he kept his claws in. Strife chuckled. "Course the fact that he's feisty might have somethin ta do with it. Mjau," he pointed, "Lookit." Mjau turned his head and spotted the tiny yellow butterfly that had lighted delicately on a nearby blade of grass.

*pounce* *mutter* The butterfly had flitted out of the way at the last second. Now Mjau was after it, leaping crazily. Bliss jumped up and joined the chase, giggling happily.

The two men watched the mad chase for a little while. Then Joxer reached down and stroked Strife's spiky hair. "Cupid gave Ares what for about you yesterday." Joxer, eyes fixed on the two playmates, felt Strife flinch. "Oh, don't worry about that. He had it coming to him." Strife twisted his head to look up at Joxer doubtfully. "Strife, I love Ares, but I'm not blind to his faults. He hasn't been very nice to you over the years."

Strife looked away. He plucked a blade of grass, and started to shred it nervously. "He wasn't so bad. He took care of me."

"Strife," Joxer's voice was gentle, "you know what my family life was like. I can recognize screwed up when I see it."

"Yah, I guess ya can. But it coulda been worse. Even at his worst, I knew he loved me. He's just..." I blew out a breath. "Well, he's Ares."

"Yeah." Joxer settled back to wait. He didn't feel it was his place to say any more. He hadn't been a god for long, but he'd already learned that there were some things people had to do for themselves. Settling the dynamics of a relationship was one of them.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Inside, While the Above Was Happening

"Now that all the children have left the room," said Ares dryly, "is there something you want to say to me?"

"It's about Strife."

"Why am I not surprised? Cupid," he held up his thumb and forefinger, close together, "aren't you getting just a LITTLE obsessed? Why are you so worried about him? You're acting like I've been emotionally abusing a ten-year-old girl. Strife is tough. He isn't as fragile as you seem to..."

"Dad, will you just SHUT UP for a minute?"

Ares jerked back at the afront. "You'd better have a DAMN good reason for talking to me like that!"

"I do. Do you remember a warlord called Cezanno?"

Ares wrinkled his forehead in thought. "Cezanno... Cezanno..."

"The Cruel?"

Recognition smoothed Ares' expression. "Him. Yes, I remember him. He was an effective warrior, at least at first. He lost it later in his career, though. All he was interested in was how much damage he could inflict on anything or anyone. But he's been in Hades' realm for decades. What about him?"

"Strife." The single word almost vibrated with barely leashed emotions.

"I don't get it."

"You gave Strife to him."

Ares snapped his fingers. "Yes! I remember now. Strife pulled some stunt that made him look stupid in front of his men--made his horse toss him in a manure pile, or something. After winning a particularly strategic battle I wanted to reward him. He already had control of a large section of land, and all the people and goods on it. I expected him to go for the usual jeweled sword, but he said all he wanted with Strife under his complete control for a night." Ares lifted his shoulders. "Strife had been sort of full of himself, so I figured a good beating and a night in chains couldn't do him any serious harm..."

Cupid moved suddenly, clearing goblets and plates off the nearby table with a single sweep of his arm. The resulting crash startled Ares. "Cupid! What the Tartarus..."

"No serious damage!" Cupid's voice was shaking. He was trembling so hard that his feathers rustled like leaves in a breeze.

Ares was shocked. He'd never seen Cupid react so violently--not even when Psyche had hurt him so badly. "What is it you think you have to tell me?"

"Telling won't get it," growled Cupid. "You have to be shown." He stepped over to Ares, who stiffened instinctively. "I found out something about Strife last night, Dad. He didn't tell me--he never would have. I had to look for myself. I sort of promised him I wouldn't tell anyone, either, so you'll just have to find out the same way I did." He leaned close. "Look, Dad. Look into my mind." Ares studied him. He was serious about this. He slowly lifted his hands to press against Cupid's temples. Just before Ares closed his eyes, Cupid said softly, "Dad? Be ready. It's... it's bad." Ares closed his eyes and reached out, moving into Cupid's mind. What he found there made him bite his lip bloody to keep from screaming.

There was himself, binding Strife with the chains forged by Hephastus, telling him of his punishment, ignoring the Mischief God's pleas and protests that he'd just been doing his job--telling him he deserved what he was getting. There he was handing Strife over to Cezzano--a hard, scarred man with disturbingly blank eyes.

All else he remembered of the incident was retrieveing Strife the next morning, finding him bruised, and bloody-nosed, but apparantly not much the worse for wear. He'd released him, telling him he hoped he'd learned something from this. And Strife had just looked at him, without the resentment or anger Ares had expected, and said, "Yah. 'Scuse me," and gone. And been very, very, VERY quiet for a long time afterward.

Now, though, Ares saw what had come between those personal memories.

He might have used the excuse that part of it's awfulness was because it had been compressed and condensed, hours of abuse into a few minutes. He didn't lie to himself like that, though. He had a feeling that it probably seemed LESS awful, since it didn't have to be endured for so long. Humiliation, disgust, pain moving into agony, then surpassing agony. Burning, cutting, beating, violation after violation, and a continual litany of derission and abuse. Ugly, stupid, worthless, dirty, useless, repulsive... 'This is all you're good for. Always remember, this is what they ALL think you're worth.' And near the end... doubt, despair, and, heartbreakingly, belief.

Ares broke away from Cupid, stumbling back till his legs bumped the sofa, and he sat down abruptly. Ares was pale faced and sweating, gasping. Cupid silently sat beside him, materializing a goblet of wine. Ares took it and drained it in a single gulp. Then he threw the goblet across the room and put his foredhead down on his knees.

After a few moments, he felt Cupid patting his back, and sat up. Turning dark eyes to his son, he whispered. "I... I did that?"

"No, Dad," said Cupid quietly. "No. Cezzano did it, and he's paying." A ghost of a smile flitted over Cupid's face. "Strife saw to that himself. But Dad," he took his father's hand, squeezing it. "You made mistakes. We all have, with Strife. And we need to change. I am. I love him, and I'm going to do everything I can to help him be whole again, but I can't do it alone."

Ares wasn't crying--he WASN'T--but his eyes itched, and the wiped them quickly. "You won't have to." He stood up quickly. "I have to talk to him." He hurried out to the garden, Cupid close behind him.

Strife was sitting on the grass near Joxer, knees drawn up to his chest, arms wrapped around them. Ares came up behind him and just stood there for a moment, looking down at his nephew. He had so much to say, and he'd never been good at words. He was a man of action, damn it. Strife sensed him, and looked back apprehensively. Ares took action. He bent down and hugged Strife. Strife stiffened, and then the words came. "I didn't know. Strife, I swear to Zeus I didn't know. I thought he was just going to slap you around some, maybe break a bone at the worst. And later when he started being more open with his... his atrocities, I'd forgotten. And you didn't seem so bad afterwards, and you never said anything. If I had known..."

Strife tore himself away from Ares, his expression pained and incredulous. He stared at Cupid. "You told him?"

Cupid shook his head. "I showed him. I just told him to take a look in my mind. It's there now, too, Strife."

"Shit!" Strife screamed. He dropped to the grass, rolling up into a tight ball, starting to shake. "Get Bliss outta here! Get him out, before I contaminate him, too!"

Ares was horrified. Strife was worried that he'd hurt Bliss? He'd never... And then Ares remembered his own concerns about Strife around Joxer, and added shame to the unpleasant emotions he was already feeling. "Strife..."

Joxer had gotten up. "Don't, Ar," he whispered. Mjau had jumped up on the chair for a better view of what was going on, and Joxer plucked him up. Cupid had sunk down to sit beside Strife, watching him with sad, worried eyes. "Get Bliss and let's go in. They need to be alone for a little while."

Bliss had come from across the garden when he heard Strife yell, and now he was buried in his father's wings, peeking out at Strife, his tiny face scrunched up, near tears. Ares gently tugged him away. "Come with us, Bliss."

"But Stwife..."

"Strife is upset. He'll be all right." Ares picked him up and started for the temple.

"Daddy take care of him?" Bliss asked plaintively.

Ares glanced back. Cupid had laid a hand on Strife's back, and was stroking him gently. Ares could see that the Mischief God's shaking had already begun to lessen. "Yes, Bliss. I think your Daddy will take good care of him." He turned and carried Bliss in. "Better care than he's ever had before."

Part 25: In-Laws: Actual and Future

"Gran'pa," said Bliss solemnly.

The little boy had been troubled after leaving his father and Strife in the garden. He'd cuddled on Ares' lap, plugging his thumb in his mouth and twirling the fingers of his other hand in his curls. "What is it, Bliss?"

"You gots to be nice to Stwife."

Ares heaved a sigh. "I'm trying, Bliss. I'm going to try very hard."

Bliss nodded. "Cause if he's sad, the baby will be sad, too."

Ares glanced at Joxer, who shrugged. "Bliss, my baby is just fine."

"Not your baby. Stwife's baby."

"Strife doesn't have a baby," Ares said almost absently. "None that we know of, anyway."

"He don't gots a baby right now, silly. I mean the one he's GONNA have in his tummy. The one him an' Daddy are gonna make together."

Ares blinked hard. "Where did you get an idea like that?"

"I dweamed it. Just like I dweamed Joxie had a baby in his belly." He gave Ares a smug look. "I was right."

Ares looked stunned. "Yes, you were. You dreamed this?"

Bliss held up two fingers. "This many."

Ares looked at Joxer, who shook his head. "Don't look at me. This is even newer to me than it is to you, you know that." He smiled quietly at Ares. "But if I can get pregnant by you, I see no reason why Strife couldn't get pregnant by Cupid. I think that loving each other may have a lot to do with increased fertility in these cases, and I also believe they qualify." He smiled. "They'll be great fathers." Ares gave him a skeptical look. "Don't start that. Remember, you're turning over a new leaf. You've seen how Strife is with Bliss."

"I love Stwife," said Bliss complacently. "Daddy loves Strife. They's gonna have a baby, an' I'se gonna be a big brother." He sighed happily.

Ares' smile was only a touch reluctant. "Have it all figured out, do you?" Bliss nodded. Ares hugged him. "From your lips to the ears of the Fate, Bliss."

A Couple of Days Later

"Ares, I enjoy the hell out of all that you do for me, really I do, but we don't know how I'm going to deliver this baby. There's a chance it may come out, uh, the same way it got there." Ares lifted one eyebrow. Joxer shifted uncomfortably on the bed. "Right. Hurts just thinking of it. And that means that after I have the baby, Tartarus knows how long it will be before we can... you know... again. So," he put his hands on Ares' shoulders and gazed levelly into his eyes, "if I don't get fucked at least one more time before I have this baby, you can pretty well figure on not getting any for awhile even AFTER I get Apollo's go-ahead."

Ares blinked. "Damn. I knew you were horny, but..." He touched Joxer's swollen belly gently. "Jox, I can't get close enough to you face to face, and if we try to do it kneeling there's the chance your knees might give out and drop you on the baby."

Joxer squeezed his eyes shut in disappointment. "I just wanted once more."

He felt Ares kiss him. "Did I say it was impossible? No. It just takes a little effort and arrangement. Let me consider this for a moment." Ares sat and pondered. Finally he said, "Well, it won't be exactly wild and abandoned, but I think we can do it without making you so uncomfortable that it outweighs the pleasure."

Ares stood, putting one arm around Joxer's shoulders, and slipping the other under his legs. "Lean sideways. We're going to get you laid out on your side." They did a little careful maneuvering. Once Joxer was on his side, Ares materialized a large number of pillows. He moved around Joxer, tucking in pillows here and there, making sure that his belly was carefully supported. "Comfortable?"

"Yeah, actually. But it's going to be hard to make out fully clothed..." *Flash* He and Ares were both naked. He grinned. "Silly me."

Ares climbed on the mattress behind him. "Just relax, Joxer. Stay as still as you can. These props and braces are as firm as I can get them, but pillows have been known to slip." Ares lay on his side also, and moved up behind his husband, embracing him.

They cuddled together for long moments. Ares slowly and sensually massaged Joxer's shoulders, back, flanks, and belly, relaxing him thoroughly. The fact that he turned both of them on in the process was a definite bonus. Soon they were both hard. Ares oiled Joxer with a thought, then carefully and lovingly stretched him, preparing him for their joining. Finally he stuffed a few more pillows between Joxer's legs, making it easier for him to raise one a little, then moved up close behind his lover. Holding Joxer's hips he said, "Tell me if there's any discomfort." He slowly started to slide in. Joxer hummed, and Ares stopped. "Is anything wrong?"

"As a matter of fact, there is."

"I KNEW it! What is it?"

"YOU STOPPED MOVING! Ares, C'MON."

"He's snarking--he must be all right." Ares continued till he was fully embedded in Joxer's body. He paused a second, smiling when he felt Joxer give him an internal squeeze. He pumped slowly, shallowly. Joxer crooned. "Yeah, I think this is going to work out."

"Dad?" The voice calling from the living room of their quarters was familiar. "Joxie?"

Ares put his head against Joxer's back and snarled--loudly. Joxer groaned, then said, "We have to go out. You know what kind of stuff is going on with Cupid and Strife right now. Better we go out than one of them comes in to find us."

Ares pulled out and dressed both of them with a thought. "No one, NO ONE told me this might happen when I became a father."

Joxer managed a smile as Ares helped him to his feet. "Of course not. How many people would go ahead and reproduce if they knew what having kids would do to their love life?" So, flushed and a little breathless, they made their way out to the living room.

Cupid and some woman were sitting on one of the sofas. Joxer took a closer look, and exchanged a look with Ares. Cupid and Strife--Strife in drag. *There has to be a story here,* Joxer thought as Ares helped him get settled on the other sofa, *But I'll be darned if I'll ask. I don't need a strong laughing fit this close to my due date.*

Cupid cleared his throat and said, "How..."

Ares' voice was tart. "Spoon fashion. What brings you here, son?"

"Dad, when you were looking after Bliss yesterday, did he tell you about his dream?"

"Yes, he did."

Joxer cradled his belly, and gave Strife a smile full of compassion, understanding--and kinship. It made Strife even more nervous than usual. "Kids have crazy dreams. Don't mean a thing."

Ares shrugged. "I have to agree with Strife. Just because I dreamed that Gabrielle grew a long, bushy tail, it doesn't mean it's going to happen."

"Dad, he dreamed it twice, he told me this morning."

Everyone looked at Strife. "Stop it. So he dreamed it twice? So what twice."

"Strife, there's something that we haven't voiced around Olympus," Ares said slowly. He laid his hand on Joxer's swollen tummy, and Joxer put a hand over his. "Bliss dreamed about Joxer getting pregnant. At first we thought it was just the Chaos Stone. That's how Joxie got pregnant, you know. But we've discussed it, and came to the conclusion that it was granting wishes. He squeezed Joxer's hand, and received a smile. "Joxer has always sort of wanted a child. When we got together," he kissed Joxer's hand, "he wanted to have one with me. Well, Bliss dreamed about Joxer having a baby when no one knew but your grandmother. We figured it was the Chaos Stone's way of granting Joxer's wish for someone to share the knowledge. We figured that the Stone had chosen Bliss because he'd be a comfort to Joxie, but no one was likely to take him seriously. With this, it looks like Bliss may actually be precognizant."

Strife jumped up and started pacing. His toga switched fetchingly about his ankles. "I don't see it. Anyway, I know what causes it, an' there's not a chance. Unless you're Zeus an' can spontaneously generate, it takes two ta tango, an' there's been none of that." Joxer smiled, an' Unc smirked. "Well, yeah, there's been some of that, but not what it would take."

"It isn't necessarily that you're pregnant already," Cupid offered. "It could be a prophetic dream."

"Ain't gonna happen."

Joxer noticed the sudden, sad look on Cupid's face, and said, "Well, there's no reason why you should worry about it. He dreamed about me three times before I was really certain about it, and three seems to be the significant number in these things. But Strife, if you're really worried about the possibility of being pregnant or getting pregnant, should you be dressed as a woman?"

He looked blank for a moment, then glanced down at his garments. "Oh." There was a flash, and he was dressed in his usual tight leather. "Ya know, it's actually pretty comfortable. I see a lot of possibilities for inventin torture devices for them. Tell me whatcha think of this name: pantyhose."

They thought. Cupid said, "I don't know why, but the very word makes me feel uncomfortable."

"Cool."

Joxer wiggled back against Ares. He must've moved against a significant spot, because Ares tightened his arms around his husband and nuzzled his ear. Strife proved that he was just as sensitive to social situations as anyone by elbowing Cupid. "Ain't it time we was toodlin off, cuz?"

"We don't have to leave right... OW! Damn, you've got sharp elbows!"

"Cupe, I know this is difficult, but think way, way back ta when we first arrived here." Cupid gave him a 'yes?' look. Strife rolled his eyes, then made a very crude hand gesture which would survive down through the centuries to indicate intercourse.

Cupid's eyebrows shot up, and he looked quickly at the other couple. Joxer smiled. Ares scowled. "Sorry to run, Pops. See you two in a couple of days." He grabbed Strife's hand and they flashed out.

"I love that boy, and I know he has a good mind," said Ares, "but sometimes he's as thick as one of Hestia's frying pans." He squeezed Joxer. "Still interested?" Joxer gave him a flat look. "Right. Heave-ho." He helped Joxer up and they made their way back to the bedroom. Enough groping occurred along the way to make it clear to both of them that yes, indeed, both of them WERE still interested.

The interest lasted while Joxer was once again comfortably and safely arranged. Once again Ares moved up closely behind Joxer, then entered him with one long, smooth stroke. Joxer started to push back, but Ares held his hips, whispering, "No. Joxer, hold still, and just let me take care of you. This is for you."

"But Ares, I want to make it good for you."

Ares bit lightly at his shoulder. "Love, it can't help but be good for me. I'm with you."

The joining was long, slow, and gentle. It was the physical expression of a love that might have come suddenly, but had taken root and grown deep and strong. When they'd both found release Ares cleaned them with a thought, and they moved once again into each other's arms. Joxer drifted off to sleep, his head on Ares' chest, and a look of soft contentment on his face.

Ares spent some time playing with Joxer's soft, dark hair, thinking. He tried to imagine Cupid and Strife in a situation like this. It was easy to imagine them tumbled together after a bout of hard, sweaty sex, but... Ares frowned, and found that he COULD imagine Strife and Cupid just holding each other, looking peaceful and complete. He tightened his arms around Joxer, receiving a sleepy, questioning murmur. "Sh. I'm just thinking."

"Bout what?"

"Cupid and Strife together."

"And?"

"I've shocked myself. I think it could work."

Joxer, eyes still closed, smiled and rubbed his face against Ares. "I always said you were an intelligent man."

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

The next day

Hermes appeared in the Halls of War. Ares and Joxer were sitting at table, just finishing dinner. Ares sighed and put down his spoon with a clatter. "Damn it, am I going to have to start putting up shields all the time?"

"Oh, so you don't want to hear about how Strife managed to haul his butt out of a crack?" asked Hermes innocently. "Fine, I'll just..."

"Sit down, Hermes," said Joxer. "Help yourself to wine." Ares looked at him. "Good news is worth a glass of wine."

Hermes smacked his lips. "Wonderful vintage. Bacchus gives you the good stuff, Ares."

"Hermes? Get on with whatever news you've brought if you don't want to wear that wine," said Ares bluntly.

"Well," Hermes sat forward in a conspiratorial manner. "Strife came up with the idea all on his own, and I have to admit it's a corker. But I suppose given his godhood, it's not surprising he'd be able to come up with something that bordered on the diabolical. Do you know what he did?"

"If we did, would you be sitting there?" Ares snapped.

"He had Anieli and Damara switch bodies, and then he used the Chaos stone to take them back to the wedding day and relive it--from each other's side!" He sat back, spreading his hands in a 'you see?' gesture.

Ares blinked. "It worked?"

Joxer was nodding. "Sure. Most of the problems of the world could be solved if people could just see things from different perspectives. You know, walk a mile in my sandals. That's wonderful!" His face crinkled. "But they won't have to spend time together now."

"That might not be a problem." Hermes leered. "I understand they disappeared together pretty quickly." He stood up. "Thanks for the wine. Gotta go. Gossip to sprea... I mean, news to disseminate." He disappeared.

Ares eyed Joxer. "You're grinning like Cerberus when Hades turns him loose on a fresh batch of the damned in Tartarus."

Joxer shrugged. "I'm just hoping that we'll be invited to the ceremony."

"What ceremony?" Joxer gave him a look. "Joxer, what..." Light dawned. The idea didn't appall him, like he'd expected it to. "Do you really think they'll go that far?"

"Yes," said Joxer with quiet conviction.

"And you think this because?"

"Because Cupid looks at Strife the way you look at me."

Ares nodded. "I just hope it isn't a big ceremony. I don't want to listen to you fussing because your dress robes don't hang right."

Joxer threw a piece of bread at Ares. It was all right, though--Ares had gotten good at ducking during the mood swings.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

Cupid and Strife appeared in the Halls of War the next day. Joxer was alone, reading a scroll, and he looked up in pleasure to greet them. They were holding hands again, and this time they didn't drop them when they sat down. "Hello, you two. Ares is discussing tactics with Discord in his study."

"That's great," said Cupid. "It'll save us having to hunt around for them." He gave Strife's hand a quick squeeze. "I'll be right back."

Strife nodded, and his eyes followed Cupid as he left the room. Then he looked back at Joxer, who was grinning at him. Strife blushed. "Yah, right. Is it tattooed on my forehead?"

Joxer laughed. "No. It's just that love isn't all that easy to conceal--not when it's real."

"It's real, all right." Strife bounced up and seated himself next to Joxer quickly. "Geez, Jox! I can't get ovah it! Cupid is so... so..." His hands were waving in animation.

Joxer caught them, stilling them. "I know. So... You have something to tell us?" Strife just grinned madly. "I'm happy for you."

Cupid, Ares, and Discord came back into the room. Cupid was saying, "You can argue the comparative merits of sieges against blitzes any time, Dis. This is important."

She was scowling at Ares. "I don't know what could be important enough for you to allow an interruption like that, short of a major war breaking out--and we would have sensed that."

"I think I know what this is about, Sis, and if I'm right, it's pretty important." Ares went and sat on Joxer's other side. Strife was looking away, his nervousness seeming to have returned. "Strife," he said quietly. Strife looked over questioningly. "I think I'd like to hear this bit of news from you."

"Me?" It was almost a squeak.

Ares nodded. His smile was small, and stern, but it was still a smile. "You've moved up in the ranks, boy. You're going to have to do a lot of things, even when you aren't entirely comfortable with them." He gave Strife a scowl, but it was obvious that it was affected. "Aren't you HAPPY about the news?"

"Tartarus, yeah!" Strife straightened up proudly and flashed a brilliant grin at Cupid, who nodded. "Me an' Cupe are gettin hitched."

Discord's jaw dropped onto her chest. "Say WHAT?"

Strife gave her a firm look. "Married. I'm of age, an' it's what we both want."

Discord looked at Ares. "Say something!"

He shrugged, then reached across Joxer to shake Strife's hand. "Congratulations. Can I assume it's going to be a short engagement?"

"Is tomorrow too soon for you to be able to attend?" asked Cupid.

"Wait a minute," Eris protested. "Something like this ought to be thought over. I mean, sex is one thing, but actually tying the knot? Strife, haven't you learned anything from me?"

Strife's voice was soft. "Yah, Ma. I have. I dunno what my dad was like, but I know for damn sure that Cupe isn't like 'im. I love Cupe. I love Bliss. I WANT this." His expression darkened a little, and the nearly insane determination that the House of War was famous for flickered in his eyes. "I'm gonna have it."

Eris was taken aback. While she was familiar with that look from the inside, Strife had never turned it on her before. Strife meant business. "Huh. Well, I don't expect to lay out much money on anniversary gifts."

Strife was't fazed, and Joxer felt very proud of his growing confidence. "Fine. Save up an' give us somethin REALLY nice fah our centuary celebration. We talked ta Hera, and she's agreed that we don't hafta have a big to-do."

Cupid came over and put his hands on Strife's shoulders. "It's going to be a very small ceremony--only CLOSE relatives. We're inviting Mom, Heph, and you three." He smiled. "Bliss has claimed the combined roll of flower child and ring bearer. Hera will perform the ceremony." He rolled his eyes, "And there's no way we can keep Zeus away if he wants to come, but that's all."

Strife giggled. "Tha feelins of 'I don't hafta go, what a relief' an' 'What? They din't invite ME?!' clashin with each otha is gonna give me a Tartarus of a buzz."

"When is this going to be?" asked Ares.

"Clear your calendar for tomorrow," said Cupid cheerfully. "Gotta go. We still need to arrange baby sitting for Bliss for our honeymoon."

Joxer perked up. "I could..."

"No, you couldn't," Ares said firmly. At Joxer's mulish look he said, "I know you'd try, and normally I'd have no hesitation. But Joxer, you're in your last month. In this case I'm not saying you wouldn't be up to taking care of Bliss. I'm saying you're my husband, you're pregnant with my child, and there are certain physical limitations to what you can do safely now. Please don't argue with me on this."

The annoyance melted from Joxer's expression, and he gave Cupid and Strife an apologetic smile. "After the baby is born..."

"I'll be undafoot," Strife promised. "Aftah all," he giggled, "kids are mine, ya know. 'Specially at two o'clock feedins."

Seeking Balance, 26

Cupid was shaking his head, "Strife, it's too late to invite them."

"So who needs ta invite?" He giggled. "We just snatch 'em up. I mean, it ain't like it'd be tha first time, right?"

Cupid, Strife, Ares, and Joxer were gathered at the side of one of Hera's smaller audience chambers. Hephastus was sitting, placidly drinking a cup of wine, while he watched his wife trying to persuade Bliss that pink was a very appropriate color for a flower boy/ring bearer.

At the front of the room, Hera and Zeus were sitting side by side. Hera was tapping one foot, her expression saying that she wasn't far from losing her temper. Zeus was narrowly watching the quartet at the side of the room. "This isn't right," said Cupid in a low voice. "It's our wedding. Hera agreed that it didn't have to be a state ceremony. We should be allowed to invite just who we want. I can't believe that Zeus is insisting that we invite Hercules."

"Ya can't? I can believe it with no trouble a'tall," said Strife. He hooked an arm around Cupid's shoulders and whispered, "Look, cuz, it ain't too hard ta figure out his reasonin. He was easy ta get along with when Unc stood up an' claimed Joxer, an' now he's worried that he's gonna look like a wuss if he doesn't make some sorta demand he knows will piss off a good numbah of people." He squeezed Cupid. "Let's give 'im this without a fuss." Strife grinned. "I'm kinda looking forward ta tha reaction. I'm pretty sure it won't match..." he got a glazed look on his face and said in a stunned tone, "Joxer?" His expression returned to its usual puckish intelligence. "But this should come close. An' if it'll make ya feel any bettah," he giggled, "we can add a coupla more ta tha guest list that oughta twist his toga up pretty good."

Cupid had started to smile, almost reluctantly. "I'm afraid to ask."

"Ah, c'mon--I'm not THAT hard ta figure out." He glanced at Ares. "Unc, don'tcha think it would be well within reason fah Cupid ta wanta have his sistah attend his weddin?"

Ares groaned. "But if Xena comes, she'd want to bring Gabrielle. And Gabrielle..." Strife was grinning. "Gabrielle pisses Zeus off just as much, if not more, as anyone else. Ooo, I'll be glad when your honeymoon is over and I can get you back to helping with the plotting and machinations. But if we're going to have Xena and her bimbo, we ought to let Hercules bring a *cough* 'date'."

"Oh, absolutely." Strife was nodding vigorously.

"Sure," said Cupid. "I have no problems with Iolaus. He's been a great little energy generator for Mom and myself." Cupid held up a finger. "But that's ALL. I don't want this to be a circus."

Strife snapped his fingers. "Guess I bettah tell tha clowns not ta show."

"No need for them. We've already decided we're having Hercules and Gabrielle."

Ares rolled his eyes. "You're rubbing off on him, Strife."

Strife fluttered his eyelashes innocently. "I refuse ta answer that on tha grounds that I'm not s'posed ta discuss my sex life right before tha ceremony."

"I'm looking forward to this, sorta," said Joxer. His hands were cupped almost under his belly, supporting it. This seemed to be his common posture when he stood these days--either that, or one hand on belly, the other pressed to the small of his back. "I was barely showing the last time they saw me."

Ares was scowling. Strife whispered to him, "Let Gabby make one remark about his weight, an' I'll send her home tha natural way. I'll just punt her skinny ass off tha side of Olympus."

They walked up to the thrones. Cupid inclined his head, and said, "We will bring Hercules here to witness the ceremony."

Zeus nodded regally. "I'm pleased that you realized..."

"We will also bring Iolaus, Xena, and Gabrielle."

Zeus didn't quite do a double take. Strife smiled at him. "Thanks fah givin tha go ahead ta have a little longah guest list. It was real big of ya."

Now Zeus could either accept the praise for something that was finagled around his wishes, or protest, and be shown up for his manipulations. His response wasn't surprising. "*harumph* Yes, it was rather a good idea. After all, you don't want it to look as if this is a sneak marriage. Ares, if you will bring in Xena and her... friend, I will bring Hercules and Iolaus." Zeus put a finger to his forehead, closing his eyes in concentration.

Hera snorted softly. "Like you don't keep closer tabs on him than merchants keep on Autolycus when he's browsing."

"Xena and Gabrielle are staying at the Freebitch Tavern," offered Joxer. When he was given a questioning look, he said, "They're having a lyric poetry contest in the neighborhood, and the proprietress of the tavern has a huge crush on Xena. She always gives them a special rate."

"Allow me," said Ares. "Since Xena is my blood, it's a lot easier for me to track her than anyone else here." He didn't make as much of a show of it as Zeus. He simply looked thoughtful, then flicked his hand. There was a brief crackle of energy, a red flash, and Xena and Gabrielle appeared in the middle of the room.

Xena was looking bored. Gabrielle must've been sitting at a table, because she plopped butt first onto the floor, still clutching a quill. Xena's hand went automatically to her chakram, but it dropped when she spotted Joxer, and a smile lighted her face. Gabrielle, apparently, didn't see anything that put her in a better mood. She jumped up, squawking. "How DARE you just snatch a person! This is kidnapping! This is an insult! This is an outrage! This is..."

"This is a wedding," said Ares bluntly. "We're waiting on Hercules and Iolaus. Once they're here, the ceremony won't take long. It's only right for Xena to be here, and since she gets grouchy if you aren't along," he rolled his eyes, "Tartarus if I can tell why, we brought you along, too. Now, just shut up." "

"Ares, of all the high-handed, arrogant stunts that you've pulled, this takes the cake!"

He sighed. "I don't know why I thought she'd shut up." Joxer patted his shoulder sympathetically.

"I was right in the middle of working on my entry for the poetry contest. I've already gotten my choral lyric perfected, but I'm still working on my personal lyric. I can't decide between dedicating it to Apollo or Athena, and... Wedding? Who's getting married?" Cupid held up his hand. Gabrielle looked like someone had just handed her a sack of dinars. "The Love God is getting MARRIED!" She shredded her quill in her excitement. "Now I'll have an exclusive theme for my poem. I'm SURE to win! Oh, this is WONDERFUL."

She was suddenly spun around, and Strife planted a big, juicy kiss on her. "Yer SO sweet ta say so! An' here I thought ya didn't wish me well." Her eyes bugged out. Her mouth opened wide as Strife took a step back, and everyone in the room braced for an earsplitting screech. There WAS a sound, but it was tiny--almost subsonic. Strife cupped a hand to his ear. "Hark, I do believe we got bat." He strolled over to Cupid and looped his arms around his neck. "Cupie, I got an awful taste in my mouth fah some reason. Anythin ya can do about it?" Cupid kissed him deeply, with lots of tongue. Strife smacked his lips. "Much bettah. Thanks. Hey, Ruler an' High Muckity Muck, ain'tch located ol' Stick-up-his-Ass yet?"

Zeus sat up suddenly, scowling. "WHAT?"

Strife gave him an innocent look. "I said ain'tcha located ol' This-to-Shall-Pass?"

"Yes, I have." He waved his hand. Hercules and Iolaus appeared before his throne. "Hello, son."

Hercules nodded, while Iolaus lost no time in going over to schmooz with Aphrodite. "Hi, Dad. What's up?"

"Well, we're having an outbreak of divine matrimony on Olympus. First Ares, now Cupid."

Hercules smiled. "Really? That's great!" He walked over to Cupid and clapped him on the shoulder, shaking his hand. "Who's the lucky lady?"

Strife clasped his hands primly and fluttered his eyelashes. "Me."

The hero's smile froze in place, and he was absolutely silent. Iolaus came over. "Hey, congratulations, you two! Love and Mischief together--now that's a natural combination if I ever heard of one. Isn't it terrific, Herc?"

Hercules blinked. "Strife?"

Iolaus sighed. "Fuck. Here we go again."

Joxer said, "Ar, do you think anyone would mind if I sat down during the ceremony?" He'd acquired a nice tan from relaxing in the garden the last couple of months, but now he was looking a little pale.

Ares materialized a chair and helped him into it. "If anyone DID mind, do you think I'd give a flying fuck? Are you all right? Do I need to call Ace or Apollo?"

"No, no. Just a little tired." He smiled. "All the excitement, I guess."

Ares looked up at his parents. "As much as I'd like my son's union given due respect, can we get on with this?"

Cupid spoke up. "But Eris isn't here yet. We should wait..."

Strife laid a hand on his arm. "Cupe? Bettah not ta wait." Cupid gave him a concerned look, and Strife shrugged. There was a touch of resignation in his voice. "I'm gettin what I want t'day, whether she's here or not."

Hera stood. "Let's do this, then." She cocked an eyebrow at Cupid and Strife as everyone scrambled to get into position. "You may be one of the oddest couples I've ever joined..." she hesitated, then seemed to decide on something, "but I have a good feeling about this, Fates know why." She smiled down at Bliss. "Are you ready, dear?" He nodded vigorously, holding up a basket of white rose petals to show her. "Go ahead."

Cupid and Strife were standing side-by-side before Hera. Bliss skipped back and forth before them, tossing handfuls of petals with admirable enthusiasm. He went around the couple, tossing more petals at them, chanting, "Dah-dee's marryin Stwi-fee! Dah-dee's marryin Stwi-fee!" He finished off by pitching handfuls directly at their faces. He wouldn't have been able to get enough distance, except that he was so excited that he was flapping his wings, stirring the petals up into a cloud. When the basket was empty and he retired to stand beside Aphrodite to one side, Cupid and Strife both had rose petals drifted in their hair.

Hera started to speak, but there was an abrupt crackle. The entire group looked back in time to see Eris appear at the very back of the room. She glared at them all silently, as if daring anyone to speak. Her eyes met Strife's. She saw the surprise and pleasure in her son's expression, and something flickered in her eyes. It came and went too fast to be interpreted, but it had been there.

Hera said quietly, "Now that we have all assembled." Her tone was a clear call for attention, and everyone turned back to her. "It was not long ago that we gathered to celebrate another joyful occasion, another marriage. This is one instance in which I pity my followers. How many mortal women not only see their children wed, but live to see their grandchildren take a spouse," she smiled at Bliss, "and later still their great-grandchildren." He wrinkled his nose at her. "You'll change your mind some day, little one."

She looked back at Cupid and Strife. "To many this union may seem hasty. Some might council that you take more time, so that you might be sure of this connection you feel." She smiled at Cupid. "Foolish, aren't they?" He returned the smile. "As Love himself well knows, there is no set time on these things. True love can come in a flash, or it can grow gradually, over a lifetime. I think that here we have a little of both. I remember you two as boys. You were together always," she rolled her eyes, "much to the annoyance of most of the Pantheon. Strife wasn't the only mischief magnet. Cupid, you could definitely give him a run for his money. Then time and life seemed to move you apart. That first bond may have been stretched a little thin, but it never broke, and now... Now it is as strong as I have ever seen, shining between a couple standing before me." She looked around the room, her eyes touching everyone. "This is right. This is what has to be, and will be."

She looked to the couple again. "You have told me that you choose to exchange tokens, to symbolize your commitment." They nodded. "Do so now."

Cupid called, "Bliss?"

Bliss took a small wooden box from Hephastus, and carried it carefully over to his father. Offering it up, he said, "Here, Daddy. I din't drop it."

"No, you didn't. Now, stand still and hold it for just a little bit longer, okay? Once Strife and I both have our rings, you can go back and stand with Dite."

"Okay." He held the box a little higher.

Cupid opened the lid, reached in, and withdrew a small, bright ring. Strife leaned forward, and winked at Bliss. The little boy giggled, but didn't drop the box as the Mischief God reached in and extracted a second ring. Then he closed the lid and said, "Ya done good, kiddo. Now, scram." Bliss giggled again, snapped the box shut, and trotted back to the side.

Hera said, "Hold out the rings, you two. They did, and she held her hand over them. "You have chosen these rings as outward symbols of your devotion and commitment to each other. As the Goddess of Marriage, I bless them. Exchange them, and speak your vows."

Cupid took Strife's left hand and slipped the ring on, then held it. Looking deep into Strife's eyes, he said quietly. "Once I thought I had found love, but I grew to understanding. I can't regret it," he threw a warm glance at his son, "because one of my greatest joys was the result. And the loneliness and pain I felt afterwards prepared me to recognize the real love that I'd been overlooking for so long. I love you, Strife. I think I always have, deep down. If you're willing to forgive me for the years of stubborn ignorance, I'm ready to spend from now till eternity showing you just how much you mean to me."

Strife lifted Cupid's hand, kissing it, then slipped his own ring on Cupid's finger. "I ain't all that good with words, 'cept when I'm tryin ta bamboozle someone." He shook his head. "That ain't happenin here, so don't be surprised if I'm less than eloquent. Truth doesn't always sound as pretty as lies. I love ya, Cupe. I've loved ya for a long, long time, but I kept tellin myself that nothin was evah gonna come of it." His smile was a little pained. "Ain't easy ta believe in some things, but ya made a believer outta me. I believe ya love me. I believe ya mean fahevah. I believe I'm gonna take ya up on yer suggestion. Ya ain't gettin rid of me." He looked at Hera. "Your turn."

"Thank you so much," she said dryly. "Hold out your hands." The two extended their left hands, the new rings glinting in the torchlight. She held up her own hands, and a golden cord and silver dagger appeared. Hera made a quick, short slice across each man's palm. As the blood began to well out she said, "In the mortal world, the giving and receiving of rings is enough, but divinities are held to higher standards. We bond in blood. You will save this dagger as a reminder of that." Ares stepped forward and took the dagger, as Strife had done for him at his wedding. "Hold hands, young ones." Cupid and Strife clasped hands tightly, pressing their wounded palms together.

Hera moved quickly, lashing their forearms together, from wrist to elbow. "Here your blood mingles in the most basic and obvious of ways." She gave Cupid, then Strife a shrewd look, then said quietly, "There are deeper, more profound ways of blood bonding." She glanced at Joxer, her eyes resting on where his hand moved restlessly over his belly, and her gaze softened. "As we have proof." She looked back at Cupid and Strife. "Who's to say that other bonding might be in the future? We can only hope." She stepped back, her tone becoming once more official. "Cupid, Strife--take this moment to think about what you are promising to each other. Know once and for all that you belong to each other." She raised her hands. "All others here, stand silent witness to this joining."

Silent seconds ticked by. Strife and Cupid gazed into each other's eyes, and Strife later said that he could have been dive bombed by Harpies while Cerberus chewed on his butt, and he wouldn't have noticed. Finally Hera stepped forward and quickly untied the cord, handing it to Ares as well. "This cord symbolizes all that binds you two together. Keep it also, as a reminder." She smiled faintly. "Though I have to admit, I really don't think you two will need a reminder." She healed their cuts, then materialized a basin of water and washed away the blood. "All barriers between you are cut, let any doubt about your love be washed away, and come away from this moment with a fresh, new life--together. Face your guests as you will now face the world--together." The two turned, clasping hands again, and Hera said, "I present to you Cupid, God of Romantic Love, and Strife, God of Mischief--now and forever mates in all things."

There was an excited squeal, and Bliss pelted over to throw himself at Strife's legs. "I gotta new daddy! I gotta new daddy!"

Strife laughed, picking him up to swing him around. "Ya sure do, kid! Now there's two of us ta make ya clean yer room, take baths, eat green stuff..."

Bliss looked horrified. "Stwife!" Strife giggled, and Bliss joined him. "You so funny!"

Cupid took Bliss from Strife's arms. "Babe, Strife and I are going to be leaving in a minute." Immediately a plump baby lip was thrust out, quivering dangerously. "We'll only be gone a few days, and listen--since we won't be staying for a reception, you need to eat some cake and goodies for us to celebrate."

The lip stopped quivering. "Ice cweam?"

"I wouldn't be at all surprised. You're going to have to eat two bowls--one for you, and one for me and Strife."

Bliss shook his head. "Daddy, you and Stwife need a bowl each. I better eat THREE bowls."

"Makes sense ta me," said Strife.

Aphrodite took Bliss from Cupid. "Yes. You aren't the one who'll be sitting up with him when he gets a sore tummy." She kissed Cupid and Strife each on the cheek. "Get lost, you two. I'm getting buzzed just from the energy waves coming off you already."

Eris walked up to the front of the room. It grew quiet as she stared between Cupid and Strife silently. Finally she looked back at Cupid and said, "You know what happens if you hurt him, right?" Cupid nodded. Her scowl deepened. "The House of War has a reputation to uphold, you know. Wouldn't do to let one of our own..." She caught Strife's eyes. His expression was a little bewildered. She cleared her throat. "Yeah. Well..." She disappeared.

Strife and Cupid made their goodbyes to Ares and Joxer, then the demigods and humans. Xena hugged Cupid, while Iolaus shook Strife's hand. Gabrielle stiffly offered her hand to Strife. He ignored it in favor of giving her a huge hug and a sloppy kiss on the cheek, which left her rather shell-shocked. As they were flashing out, Cupid was heard to remark, "I don't understand you sometimes. I thought you said she made your skin crawl."

"An' I do tha same fah her. Was I gonna pass up an opportunity like that?"

Chapter Twenty-seven: Suddenly

Joxer blinked. "Is that a sheet Bliss is wearing?"

Ares looked, then grunted. "Yeah, I think so. Pink, so it's one of Dite's, of course. It's a good idea. Since she's going to be babysitting him, this way she won't have such a job getting him clean. The strawberry ice cream will hardly show up on the sheet at all."

"Yeah, but the chocolate is making a REAL mess. I haven't seen anything like that since the last time I knocked Gabrielle into a mud puddle."

Ares indicated the bowl Joxer was holding propped on his belly. "Speaking of chocolate, do you want me to get you some more chocolate sauce for your ice cream? I notice that you've eaten all you had."

"You're so thoughtful." Joxer handed over the bowl, and Ares got up. "Oh, and you might get a little strawberry ice cream, too, now that I think of it."

"Okay." He started off.

"And some whipped cream."

"Right. Anything else?"

"Maybe a sliced banana. You know, Apollo said those are good for me--all sorts of nutrients--whatever they are. I just know they taste better than broccoli."

"You didn't think so a couple of months ago." He started away again.

"And if there's any of those tiny chips of nut brittle left..."

"I'm just going to go around the table and get some of everything, like usual, okay?" Joxer grinned. Ares headed for the table where the sundae fixings were spread, shaking his head--but he was smiling.

Apollo, carrying his own bowl, came over and sat beside Joxer. "Getting plenty of food, I see." Joxer looked sheepish. "No, no, I'm not going to scold you. You're getting plenty of milk this way. How are you? I'll admit that I was a little hesitant about you coming to the ceremony. You don't need any more stress than you have to have."

"I'm okay. Tired, peeing more than I'd like, not sleeping as much as I'd like, but I understand that's pretty much to be expected."

"Hang in there, Joxer. You only have about four more weeks to go, give or take a day."

"I'm ready for it."

"Almost. You will be. That's something we need to talk about," Ares was approaching, and Apollo said, "and since Ares is here, too, this is as good a time as any."

Ares sat down beside Joxer again, handing him the bowl. Joxer sighed happily. "Extra cherries. Thanks." He dug in. "Apollo says he has something to talk to us about."

Ares looked at Apollo forebodingly. "Nothing's wrong?"

"No. I just need to talk to you both about what to expect in this last month. Joxer, it's very likely that you're going to start experiencing small abdominal cramps in a couple of weeks. As long as it's just one or two, and they aren't very strong, it's nothing to worry about. Of course if you have several strong ones, I'll want to hear about it immediately. We also need to talk about how this baby is going to get born. I'm sure you've been thinking about it."

Joxer looked up. There was a smear of cream at the corner of his lips. "Actually, I've been studiously AVOIDING thinking about it. I haven't been able to come up with any method that isn't uncomfortable enough to make my scalp prickle just considering it. For instance, I'm not going to... pass it, am I? The hemeroids were pretty damn awful when I had them, and now that they aren't bothering me, I'd hate to think..."

"That's far enough with that train of thought," said Ares. He reached out and gently wiped the cream off Joxer's mouth, then licked it off his finger. "I sincerely hope that isn't going to happen."

"No, no," said Apollo. "That would interfere and possibly damage a vital organ, so the chances of this happening are practically nil. The most likely scenario will have the baby exiting through the bellybutton."

Joxer's jaw dropped. He swallowed, then squeaked, "Pol, I haven't got the daintiest bellybutton around, but I still don't think a baby would fit through. And besides... isn't it closed off? I mean, I've never actually tried to find out," he frowned, "Wait. I might have once when I was really, really drunk. Anyway, I never came to any conclusion about it."

"Joxer, I'm operating on the theory that since the bellybutton marks where a person's own umbilical cord was attached, it would be the most natural birth exit in a case like yours."

Ares was frowning. "I'm hearing words like 'theory' and 'chances', and I don't like that."

"Well, I'm sorry, Ar, but that's just the way it is. We've come a long way in medicine, but it's still more of an art than a science, and it's likely to remain that for some time to come. Plain mortals in mundane situations are unpredictable enough. Here we have a mortal-made-god who is pregnant. We just don't have any precedent for this."

The frown deepened to a scowl. "I don't like it."

"I don't blame you, but I don't know what else to say."

"Isn't there anything you can do?"

"I'll be honest--I'm reluctant to do anything to interfere unless there seems to be some sort of danger or difficulty. Whatever I do might have unforeseen repercussions."

"Nothing? We just have to wait and see?"

Apollo sighed. "I've been thinking about it. There's the gender switch potion that Aphrodite made to help Strife, but I have no idea how that would affect the baby. Of course, once the birth is done, we could give you both the antidote. We'd probably need to wait at least a few months--maybe a year or two--for the baby, since it IS a bit of a strain on the constitution."

Joxer frowned. "Look, I don't care if it's a boy or a girl, but it IS a boy or a girl now, and I don't think it would be fair to change it. Besides that, I want my baby to be HEALTHY. I'm not going to do anything that might be hard on it."

"That's what I think, too, but I had to tell you about the option. There's one other possibility I've thought of. You know Hermaphroditus--Hermes and Dite's kid?" Ares and Joxer nodded. "Well, you know that at his request they spelled that pool where the nymph grabbed him."

"Oh, I know, all right," said Ares. "I have it marked on my maps with a big skull and crossbones. You aren't suggesting that Joxer bathe there, are you?"

"Do I look that stupid? No. But I was thinking what if we got some of the water and just applied it to the significant areas, very lightly? It might take more than one application, but I think that it would cause a vagina and birth canal to develop."

Joxer looked a little green, and set aside the bowl, which was still half full. "I don't want to have girlie parts. I mean, I like girls. They have nice voices, and they smell good, but I don't want to... I've always kinda enjoyed peeing standing up."

"You wouldn't have to keep it, Joxer," Apollo assured him.

"No? What would happen? It wouldn't just fall off, would it? I think that losing body parts isn't very nice. Lepers never look happy."

"No, Joxer, it wouldn't fall off. But I could sort of... repair it--with surgery."

Joxer closed his eyes. "Oh, yeah, that's better. Not."

"Look, these are possibilities. We don't have to have it set in cement. I'll keep thinking and looking around. We have a month." Apollo looked down at his bowl. "Damn it. My tutti-frutti has melted." He got up and went back to the table.

Joxer noticed Ares' worried expression. Ares had been so supportive, through all his mood swings and insecurities. Though he wasn't exactly at ease in his own mind, Joxer welcomed the chance to be supportive to his husband. He put his arm around Ares shoulders. "Don't worry. I'll start chucking down even more ambrosia."

Ares grunted. "You hate the stuff."

"I do. So hand me my ice cream--I need to eat as much good stuff as I can to counteract the taste."

Three Days After the Wedding

Joxer looked up from the scroll he was reading, a look of intense concentration on his face. *What was that? Was that a contraction?* He waited for the sensation to come again. It had been a brief tightening of muscles across his belly--he thought. Actually, now that he considered it, maybe he hadn't felt it. Apollo had told him that there might be 'false labor'--slight muscle spasms, sort of the body tuning itself up for the big event. He hadn't had any BEFORE Apollo mentioned them, so he had to admit to himself that it might very well just be his nerves. He sighed, resigning himself to waiting to see if it happened again.

Joxer decided that he'd go look for Mjau. The kitten had taken to seeking out odd places to hide, then ambush whoever walked by. More than one priest was nursing scratches on his calves. The ones who wore trousers weren't the target as often--it seemed that Mjau had a thing for swishing robes.

He stood up, and his tummy nudged the scroll off onto the floor. "Darn." He eyed the scroll, then looked speculatively at his belly. It had been quite a while since he'd tried to pick anything up off the floor. Ares, one of the priests, or someone else, usually picked up what he needed. The few times he'd dropped something he just let it lay. But his nesting instinct had kicked in a long time ago, and he just HATED leaving anything looking cluttered.

Joxer gripped the edge of the table and braced his feet wide apart. *I'll just try, and see how it goes. I can always stop.* He started to bend over, tightening his grip on his brace. *Oh, I don't think this is going to work. It feels like my belly is going to cut off my wind by crushing my chest. I think I'll just have to give up on this.*

He started to straighten up, and there was a sharp twinge at the base of his spine. He winced, instinctively putting his free hand back to press against it, and his balance shifted suddenly and awkwardly. His hand started to slip on the table. His eyes flew wide open in alarm, and he scrabbled for a better grip, one foot shifting in an attempt to regain his equilibrium. His toe caught against the edge of the carpet, and he started to fall.

It all happened so fast. Still, Joxer managed to react. He twisted hard, turning so that his swollen belly did not take the brunt of the fall--he fell on his side. His body thudded heavily to the stone floor, with his head smacking into the hard surface a second later. Before he lost consciousness, he reached out desperately, sending a mental shout that echoed across Olympus...

Every divinity, every demi-god, heard... FELT the call. Many prudently stayed where they were, knowing that they could be of no help, but others could not stay away. Aphrodite, in the process of painting her nails, leaped up, ashen faced. The bottle of enamel crashed to the floor, spilling a crimson stream that looked disturbingly like blood as the Love Goddess transported. Apollo and Ace, heads bent over an obscure parchment detailing divine births among other pantheons, looked up suddenly. Apollo looked at his son and said curtly, "I'll go. You make sure we're ready for every contingency. EVERY," and flashed away. Cupid and Strife, cuddling together, talking about nothing in particular, almost fell out of bed scrambling to get dressed and go. On Earth, a tavern full of Amazons were startled when Xena suddenly threw a tankard across the room, went outside, and started screaming for every divinity in creation to 'get me to Joxer--NOW!' Hercules was, for once, ignore d when he called on Zeus for the same reason. Zeus knew that his son meant well--and would be nothing but a hindrance in a situation like this.

The most dramatic response came from Ares.

He had been about to lace into one of his generals being lax on his information gathering, while Eris stood to one side, smirking. He had a firm grip on the man's shirtfront, lifting him up on his toes. They were so close that the sweat drops forming on the general's forehead were in danger of dripping on Ares' nose. The general was considering how few broken bones he could expect.

Ares was trying to decide what would be most effective without leaving the man disabled--men tended to be better about following a leader who had no physical weaknesses. Suddenly there was a sound... a FEELING, that tore through him. It was unmistakable, and it chilled him through.

//Ares! The baby...//

Ares shoved hard, disappearing even before the general crashed into the wall. Eris suddenly pale, was gone a split second later. The mortals in attendance had, of course, heard nothing. But there was much worried whisperings about what could be bad enough to make both Discord and War react so abruptly.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

Apollo and Aphrodite appeared in the Halls of War almost simultaneously. When she saw Joxer crumpled on the floor, Aphrodite shrieked in distress. Apollo dropped to his knees beside the Peace God. Much later he'd wonder how he'd acquired the bruises on both knees. He took Joxer's pulse, then said quickly, "Don't panic, Dite. He's not dead."

"Oh, Joxie!" she moaned. She snatched a pillow off a sofa and crouched down, carefully lifting Joxer's head onto the cushion. "Pol, there's blood in his hair."

Ares and Eris flashed into the room. "Joxer!" Ares lunged toward his fallen husband. Apollo showed that he wasn't a coward--at least not when it came to doing his job. He leaped up and blocked Ares. Ares didn't hesitate. He jerked his sword from its scabbard. "Get out of my way!"

"DO YOU WANT TO KILL HIM?" Ares froze, sword half raised. "Put that away. Joxer might be in trouble. Do you want to kill his best chance?" The sword wavered. Apollo lowered his voice. "Brother, he's hurt, but I don't know how badly yet. Stay calm, and let me do what I can for him."

Eris stepped up silently, putting her hand over Ares'. Still staring past Apollo at Joxer, Ares allowed her to take the sword from his hand. As she laid it aside, Ares said hoarsely. "He's unconscious."

"It looks like he fell and banged his head. I noticed a tiny smear of blood on the floor. Ares, his breathing and pulse are good and strong. Are you going to stay calm enough to let me go examine him more thoroughly?"

Cupid and Strife had appeared as Apollo was speaking. Cupid went immediately to his father, putting a supportive hand on his shoulder. Ares glanced at him, his eyes dark with pain, and... Yes, fear. Fear for the man he loved. Cupid thought of Strife, and how he'd feel if anything happened to him. He thought he'd never understood his father so well. Ares looked back at Apollo, then nodded, crossing his arms.

Eris silently handed Strife the Sword of War. The Mischief God blinked at her in surprise. He never would have expected her to entrust him with the very totem of War. She whispered to him, "Put that somewhere. I think he may not be in his right mind for some time." Strife nodded, and disappeared to secrete the sword somewhere safe.

Apollo bent to examine Joxer again. "There's a lump, but I don't think there's a fracture. I don't like him being unconscious, though." Aphrodite materialized a small glass bottle, uncorked it, and handed it to Apollo. "You're an all right broad, Dite." He held the bottle under Joxer's nose. "C'mon, Joxie. Wakey, wakey, and tell us what happened."

Joxer inhaled sharply, and his eyes opened. "Ares..."

Ares moved swiftly, bending over him. "I'm here."

"I fell."

"I know, Joxer."

"I'm sorry."

Ares' voice was agonized. "Love, DON'T. It was an accident. Just let Apollo take care of you."

Joxer turned his eyes back to Apollo, and he said weakly, "The baby?"

"Stay still, Joxer." Apollo pushed up Joxer's loose tunic, and pressed his ear against Joxer's belly. After a moment, his expression cleared a little. "I can hear the baby's heart beating. I don't think it was hurt at all. It's a good thing you didn't fall face first."

"I turned," said Joxer.

Ares bent and pressed a kiss to Joxer's forehead. "You see, love? You protected our child."

Joxer suddenly winced. "Ow! Well, he must be mad at me. That kick was a BEAUT."

Apollo had his hands cupped against Joxer's belly, and his expression suddenly went stiff. "Joxer, are you sure that was a kick?"

"I... Well, I thought it was. But usually the kicks just feel like pressure, and like they're coming from deep inside. This one, though... It felt closer to the surface, and it HURT. Pol? Why are you looking worried?"

Ares' eyes flew to Apollo's face, and then Apollo said, "It felt like a contraction, but if that's all there is, there shouldn't be anything to worry about."

A hot ripple of pain passed over Joxer's abdomen. "OW! Contractions? But... but Pol... It's too SOON. The baby isn't supposed to come for weeks and weeks."

Ares reached out to grab Apollo's tunic. "DO SOMETHING."

"I intend to. First thing we have to do is get him over to my place. I left Ace preparing a room where he'll be comfortable, and I'll have anything I might need to help him."

Ares scooped Joxer into his arms, and Joxer squeaked with pain as another contraction hit him. Ares made a noise that was part snarl, part moan, and Joxer said weakly, "I'm okay."

Ares stood and prepared to flash, but Apollo said, "No, don't transport!"

"But..."

"We're only a few hundred yards from my place, Ares. You can carry him there. He doesn't need the added strain of transporting."

Cupid started off, eyes glittering with determination. "Follow me, Pop. Zeus help anyone who doesn't get out of the way fast enough."

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

Hera and Zeus had gone directly to Apollo's quarters in the Halls of Intellect. They'd known they were right when they'd seen the priests dashing about frantically, ferrying supplies to and fro. Zeus surveyed the controlled chaos, then called sharply, "Hermes!" The Messenger of the Gods appeared immediately. He'd known he might be needed. "You know what's going on?" Hermes nodded. No need to waste time with superfluous words now. "I want you to get word to Joxer's priests. Have them rally his mortal worshippers to offer prayers, LOTS of prayers. He needs all the energy he can get."

"That won't take long," Hermes assured him. "Then I'll do the same with any other temple I can get to."

"Yes. If anyone is idiotic enough to try to decline since it isn't their domain, tell them that when War is involved, EVERYONG is involved." Hermes flashed out.

Ace came out to the antechamber at the same moment that Cupid preceded Ares and Joxer into the same room. Hera covered her mouth when she saw the sweet tempered God of Peace cradled in her son's arms.

Both of the men were pale and drawn. Joxer suddenly whimpered, pressing his face to Ares' chest. Apollo swept around them, and Ace said, "First room on the left. Everything is either right there, or only a step away."

Again Apollo stepped in front of Ares, and held out his arms. "Give him to me." He received a deadly glare in return. "Damn it, we don't have TIME for this! I can't have you underfoot while I'm working on him, Ares. If you truly want him and the baby to be well, you'll hand him over and stay out here until you're called in." Silence, and Apollo spoke in a low voice. "I'm right, and you know it." He lifted his arms insistently.

Silently Ares handed him over. Apollo turned and carried Joxer swiftly into the depths of the temple, with Ace at his heels. As the door shut behind them, Ares turned, arm swinging, and swept a large vase off a pillar. Then the silently started to trample on the shards.

Strife appeared beside Cupid, watching his uncle, and murmured. "Damn. Joxie has been a steadyin influence on 'im. Before they was married, somethin like this woulda had Unc takin people apart insteada ornaments.

For the next half-hour or so, Ares paced, never speaking to anyone. He moved so quickly that his hair whipped with each turn. He grew steadily paler, and his eyes burned hotter with each passing moment. Before long his teeth were bared in an unconscious grimace, and the other divinities in the room were feeling distinctly nervous. Cupid whispered to Strife. "I'm really getting nervous. I've never seen him like this--not even when you died, and I thought he was going crazy then."

They were standing near the outer door. It opened a crack, and someone hissed at them softly. They looked, and saw that Ace was standing in the outside hall, beckoning to them. They slipped out, and Ace shut the door, saying quietly. "We have trouble--BAD trouble. Joxer is in premature labor, and Dad can't stop it."

"Crap!" Cupid exclaimed. "It's almost a month early. The baby might not be strong enough."

"It's worse than that. Joxer's body isn't ready yet. It's not changing in any way to allow the baby to be born, and it's too late to do a gender switch, or use the transforming water, even if he wanted us to. There's only one thing we can do--we have to take the baby."

Strife suddenly leaned heavily back against the wall. "Oh, SHIT! Not like Caesar?" Ace nodded. "You're gonna fuckin CUT Jox, when Ares is like he is now? If anythin happens ta Jox or tha baby, ALL of us will die. Things won't be too hot fah tha mortals, eithah."

"That's why I need your help. Apollo thinks he can pull this off, but not unless Ares is kept well out of the way. Strife, I need you to go to Hephastus and get us two sets of chains."

"Two?"

"One for Joxer. Apollo isn't going to be able to dull the pain for him--it might affect the baby."

"Double shit. Oh, that poor fucker. 'Kay, Ace. I'll be back in a twitch, but I ain't tryin ta put those on 'im alone."

"No. Dad spoke to Zeus and Dite mentally--luckily Ares is too distracted to notice. When you get back, they'll exert their power to help, and you, I, and Cupid will get the chains on him. I don't mind telling you, I've never been more frightened in my life, but this has to be done. Bring the first set to Dad, then let us each know mentally. Be careful he doesn't catch it. Lock on him, and zap in as close as you can. Hera, Zeus, and Dite will lay bonds on him the second you appear, then," he swallowed. "Then you two do our damndest to get him chained up."

"Waittaminute--'you two'?"

"I have to get back to help Dad as quickly as possible."

Strife nodded. "I'd sooner give Cerberus a prostate exam than jump Unc when he's like this, but awright. Damn, I wish I'd sent Fortuna a Solstice present last year. We can use all tha help we can get." He flashed away.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

In Greece, a white robed priest stood on the steps of each temple dedicated to Eireni, God of Peace, and beat a brazen gong, summoning worshipers. They came--dozens, then hundreds. Followers had been drawn quickly to the gentle new god, and they were fervent in their new devotion.

Soon prayers spiraled upward, sending love and energy. On Olympus, Joxer smiled through his pain. Apollo, curious, said, "What is it?"

"Gabrielle. She's praying to me. Well, maybe praying AT me. 'Joxer, don't you DARE die on us!'" Joxer could feel another contraction coming on. "Tartarus! Here it comes..."

"Joxer, wait! Take this strap, or you'll bite through your lip!"

Joxer grabbed the thick leather strap offered by Apollo, jammed it between his teeth, and bit down as hard as he could, just as another contraction hit him. He jerked with the pain, his arms going protectively around his clenching stomach. This one was longer than the others had been, and he almost couldn't keep back the howl of pain that wanted to rip out of his throat. The only thing that really held it back was the idea of what such a thing would do to Ares.

The cramp passed, and he went limp. Apollo checked his pulse, assuring himself that it was still strong. He murmured, "I'm sorry, Joxer. I wish I could give you something, but..."

Joxer spat out the strap. "I know. It's all right. I don't want you to give me anything. I'm not going to risk anything that might hurt my baby. Pol? You sure this is the only way?"

He nodded, gently stroking Joxer's hair back off his forehead. "The only way, Joxer. Your body just isn't adjusting to let the baby out. If this keeps going, you'll be torn up inside, and I'm not sure even your divine nature would save you. And the baby... The baby's being put under a lot of pressure. While they're so tiny, they're still pretty flexible--it's one of Nature's ways of protecting them. But this sort of force..."

"Okay, okay." Joxer grabbed Apollo's hand. His grip and gaze was fierce as he stared up at the other god. "Pol, if it comes down to a choice, you have to save the baby." Joxer squeezed hard. "Do you hear me? That baby is part of Ares, and he has to LIVE."

"Stop it! We're nowhere near considerations like that, Joxer. There's no reason why both of you can't come out of this strong, healthy, and able to drive the rest of us nuts."

Strife and Ace appeared in the room. "Ya okay, Joxie?" Strife asked anxiously.

"As good as I CAN be, I guess. Soooo, those are Hephastean chains."

"Uh... yah."

Joxer held out his wrists. "C'mon. The damn contractions are coming closer and closer together."

Strife started to chain Joxer to the padded table he was lying on. "Damn, yer a game bastard, Jox."

Joxer grunted as Apollo used another couple of lengths to fasten his legs, then passed loops over his chest and upper legs, to hold him firmly. "You just be careful when you put that other set on Ares." Strife hesitated, looking at him. "Yes, I know the other set is for Ares. Sometimes I'm dense, but I'm not stupid. I know what's going to happen to him through our bond when this really gets going."

Apollo set a tray of glittering instruments on a stand beside the table. "Go with him, Ace, and come back as soon as Ares is secured. I'm not starting till I know for sure that he's bound. If he should get loose and break in here at the wrong moment... If my hand slips..."

"I know." Ace looked at Strife, who nodded. "Let's do it." They flashed out.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

Hera, Zeus, and Aphrodite each heard Ace's mental warning. They exchanged looks, then turned as one toward Ares. The War God had stopped pacing, and was staring intently at the door that led back to where Joxer was. His fists were balled at his side, and he was leaning forward on his toes. It was clear that he was only seconds away from action.

He wasn't ready for the sudden burst of energy that washed over him, staggering him. In the first second or two of astonishment he could tell that it was coming from at least three different sources. And it wasn't attacking him, or harming him--it was BINDING him. He realized what was happening, and roared in rage, at the same moment that Strife and Ace appeared behind him.

He found himself tackled by Cupid and Strife, wrestling on the floor. Ares fought--fought the binding, and the restraints being applied. The three divinities who were holding Ares with the power of their wills felt a twinge of dismay when they saw that he still struggled. He shouldn't have been able to move, but he did. He even managed to punch Cupid in the face as his son held him down, so that Strife could get the chains fastened to the rings he'd materialized in the floor. The moment Strife stepped back, Ace transported back to Joxer.

When Ace appeared Apollo said briskly, "Son, stand ready with cloths, and the staunching seaweed. Be prepared to hand me whatever I ask for."

"Not my first time at the rodeo, Pop," said Ace. Apollo shot him a questioning look. "Something Strife says. Seemed appropriate."

As Apollo dematerialized Joxer's clothes, there was another flash. Joxer squeaked. "There's a Muse in here, and I'm naked!"

Apollo looked around. "Calliope, what the Tartarus do you think you're doing?"

"You're going to need someone to take care of the baby while you and Ace take care of Joxer," the eldest Muse said firmly. "Don't worry, Joxie. I've had one of my own, and assisted Hera at others. I'll take good care of the little guy."

Apollo nodded in agreement. "We're going to have to work fast. I don't know how long they'll be able to hold Ares." He wiped Joxer's belly with a rag soaked in spirits, then picked up a thin, wickedly sharp knife. "Joxer?"

"Gimme the strap again," he demanded. Ace put the strap between his teeth, and Joxer clamped down, squeezing his eyes shut. His hands gripped the chains. "Kay."

"Hang on, and try to stay still."

Ares might be the best swordsman on Olympus, and Strife was an artist with a dagger, but when it came to wielding a knife with decisive precision and speed, no one could match Apollo. He made a short, shallow cut across the bottom swell of Joxer's belly.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

In the outer room, Ares went berserk as the pain and fear traveled through his bond with Joxer. He screamed incoherently and thrashed, jerking and heaving at his restraints. Besides clashing and clanking--the chains began to squeal as the metal links strained against each other. Aphrodite was swaying with the effort to help hold Ares, Hera had groped till she reached a pillar, embracing it for support, and even Zeus was obviously straining.

Without consulting each other, Strife and Cupid dived on top of Ares, trying to hold him down with their bodies, adding their own power to that already binding him. Strife panted. "They bettah hurry. We ain't gonna be able ta keep this up long without someone gettin a damage done to 'em."

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

Joxer flinched, stiffening. The pain was incredible--worse than when the hydra had gashed his leg, and it was even more horrible than that time, because he knew that the source of that pain could either deliver, or kill his baby.

He tried to find something to distract him from the pain. He bit down so hard that his teeth met through the strap. The taste of leather and blood flooded his mouth... and he thought of Ares. Sometimes his skin tasted a little like this--the times when he would come to Joxer fresh from battle. Leather, blood, sweat...

Joxer knew that these things would have meant nothing but terror for most people, but they were part of Ares' essence, and somehow experiencing them gave him more strength. He shoved his head back against the table, stiffening his spine, a mantra going through his mind. *Ares... Baby... Ares... Baby...*

Joxer heard Apollo's voice. "It isn't bleeding much. I have to spread the muscles, Joxer, and it's going to hurt like a bitch. Ace, the spreader." Joxer couldn't help it--a howl burst forth as the muscles were spread apart. It was answered by another howl from outside. "I'm taking him out now. Cal, get ready."

There was more pain, and an odd feeling that Joxer could only imagine was deflating. He was too frightened to open his eyes. If he had, he would have seen Apollo gently extract a glistening, squirming blob the size of medium melon. A thick, corded rope of flesh trailed after it, flopping limply. "Shit! The cord detached. I have to get him out of that."

The blob was rested firmly on Joxer's sheet clad thighs. "Hand me the other knife, Ace. I'm handing the baby off to you to have the cord fixed, while I close Joxer up." Ace handed another knife to Apollo, then accepted a thick towel from Calliope. "Everybody pray." Apollo pinched up a fold of the glob, and made a nick in it. Holding the skin tight, he slipped the blade into the nick and slit, quickly and cleanly.

The fleshy material fell away on either side, and suddenly a tiny, gory baby was wiggling across his father's legs. Apollo tossed down the knife and scooped the baby up, handing him to Ace. The younger god immediately took the child to another table. He tied a clean thread tightly around the cord a couple of inches from the baby's plump belly, then snipped on the other side, freeing the infant from his last physical contact with what had been his womb.

Apollo had packed Joxer's incision with the blood stopping seaweed, and he was pleased with how it was working. "Joxer, can you hear me?" He was answered by a moan. "You're going to be all right. Listen to me, now--try not to pass out just yet. I want to be able to show both of you to Ares, safe and whole. C'mon, Jox. You're the God of Peace--you want to set his mind at rest, don't you?"

Apollo was shocked when Joxer gave a weak chuckle.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

Ares was drawing a breath for another scream, and another effort to escape. He had the feeling that he might just make it this time. During the brief moment of quiet, though, a sound reached his ears that froze him in place--it was the thin cry of a baby. Time seemed to stop in the outer room. A moment later the cry came again, but this time it was stronger, and it continued.

Slowly, ever so slowly, the maniacal tension went out of Ares body. Relief appeared in the expressions of Aphrodite, Hera, and Zeus as they felt the struggle against their hold cease. Ares' child lived. And from his very reaction, everyone present knew that Joxer was all right, too. If Joxer had died, Ares would have felt it through their bond, and nothing in this world or the next would have stopped him till either he had destroyed the world, or died.

Now he lay quiet beneath Cupid and Strife, and looked up at them, sanity once again in his eyes. "Not bad, you two. Of course, if this ever happens again, I'll be ready for you. Now, let me up. My husband and child need me."

"Just a little longer," said Zeus. "Apollo will send word when they're ready."

Ares did something he very seldom did. He looked at Hera in appeal. "Mother?"

Hera studied him. "Let him up. He'll wait for the right time." When Zeus hesitated, she snapped, "Tartarus! He's not going to do anything that might endanger Joxer or his child, Zeus."

Zeus nodded, and Strife and Cupid removed the chains. They also stepped well out of reach as the last ones fell away. Ares simply shook himself, then got to his feet, folded his arms, and stared at the door to the back of the temple.

Whereas when this began, Ares had been practically vibrating with leashed emotion, now he stood as still as one of Medusa's victims. Even his expression had smoothed. Strife, standing beside Cupid, looked around the room curiously, noting similar relaxed expressions gracing each face. He thought, then carefully considered the flow of energy in the room. He poked Cupid. "Cuz, guess what?"

Cupid was feeling tremendously relieved now that the crisis seemed to have passed. "Too tired to guess. Just tell me."

"Are you, perchance, feelin pretty damn relaxed, considerin what we just went through?"

"Come to mention it, yeah. I thought I'd need at least a few pitchers of Dionysis' best, a hot bath, and a hot you to get this relaxed again."

"It can be arranged. But I b'lieve I know tha reason fah tha sudden mellowness that has struck. Joxer's doin his thang."

Cupid looked at Strife in surprise, then analyzed how he felt, testing the flow of power in the room. He smiled, shaking his head. "Maybe Dad should ask to keep the chains. That may be the only way to keep him in bed for as long as Apollo will insist."

part 28: Balanced

Apollo finished stitching Joxer up, and tilted his head, considering his handiwork. "Not bad at all. A few weeks, and you'll hardly know it was ever here."

"Oh, I'll know it was there," Joxer assured him faintly. "I don't care what women might say to make us feel better--childbirth of ANY sort is NOT something you forget. Put out of your mind so that you don't cream your husband every time he comes near you--maybe. But not forget."

Apollo cleansed and bandaged the wound. "If you can ramble on this soon after major surgery, I know you're going to be all right. Ace, how are things going?"

Asclepius was gently wiping the baby down with a warm, damp cloth. "Couldn't be much better, Dad. Joxer? I just hope this kid decides he likes being bathed later on, because if he keeps up like this, he's going to be a handful. He's squalling and squirming like nobody's business."

"It's MY business. Bring him over here, and I'll calm him down." He might still feel weak, but Joxer's tone was firm.

"You ought to wait a few minutes," Ace began.

His father interrupted him. "Son, go ahead and bring the little one over. Seeing and touching that baby is going to be more of a tonic for Joxer than a bowl full of ambrosia." Apollo finished cleaning Joxer, propped him up slightly, and drew a sheet up to his chest as Ace wrapped the baby in a soft blanket, then carried him over to where his father lay. Joxer held out his arms, and Ace carefully settled the tiny bundle securely in his grip.

The baby lay against Joxer's chest, still squirming and fussing. Joxer gazed down at him, eyes wide with wonder, then said softly, "Hello, baby." The volume of the infant's cries lessened a little. "Oh, yes--it's scary, isn't it? You've been in the warm and dark for so long, and now it's all bright and cold. It makes perfect sense to be upset. I understand." He bent down and nuzzled the baby's cheek. "It's all right. I'm here to take care of you, and help you figure it out." The baby blinked. The cries tapered off, becoming almost questioning. "Yeah, you'll get used to it. This world isn't so bad. There's a lot of good things in it. Pretty soon you're going to meet one of the best--your other daddy..."

Apollo and Ace stood a little apart from the two, watching as Joxer talked softly to the baby, now and then dropping a kiss on his fluff of dark hair. Ace sniffed. Without looking at him, Apollo materialized a handkerchief and handed it over. Ace took it and wiped his face quickly. If he used it more about his eyes, his father didn't comment. When he handed it back, Apollo silently did the same, then made the cloth disappear. Still not looking at his son, he said, "The one who tells gets a massive case of warts. Deal?"

"Deal. Okay to let Ares in now? There's no telling how close he is to getting in anyway, and having him actually blast the door down would be upsetting for the baby."

"Oh, sure, but you don't have to worry about that. What with his bond with Joxer, he'll know that everything is all right."

The door to the outer chamber opened, and Ace stepped out. He looked first at Ares, who was watching him with an intensity that could be felt. Ace smiled. "Ares--ready to meet our newest god?"

"I'll forgive you for the stupid question if you get out of my way, Ace," Ares said, his voice surprisingly mild.

Ace chuckled, but he HOPPED out of the way, barely missing a collision as Ares rapidly entered the room. Ace examined the other gods and goddesses, then said, "Fates, you all look like Cerberus has been chasing you around the Acropolis." Aphrodite immediately materialized a small mirror and began touching up her hair, and Strife, leaning against Cupid, flipped him the bird with tired good-humor.

For all his eagerness, Ares halted just inside the door, staring. For a moment his mind flashed back to the day Cupid had been born--Aphrodite lying in bed with the baby cradled to her breast, his tiny white wings flickering now and then. She'd looked so serene--complete. Joxer had the same expression now as he gazed down at the baby.

Then Joxer looked up, catching sight of Ares. He smiled, and it was somehow sweet, contented, loving, and just the tiniest bit smug--a hint of 'look what I did!' showing through. Ares could feel himself smiling in return. I was just such a JOXER look.

Ares went to them. The first thing he did was bend over and kiss Joxer--a long, gentle kiss. "Judging from the garden, I knew you could grow beautiful things, Jox, but you've outdone yourself."

Joxer lifted an eyebrow. "You have to have the right seed to work with," he said quietly. He looked back down at the baby and said proudly, "He did turn out pretty fantastic, didn't he?"

*ahhh*

Both men chuckled as the baby made a cooing sound. "He's agreeing with you, Joxer. It's good to see he's going to have healthy self-esteem," said Ares. He gestured. "Can I...?"

"Don't go stupid on me now, Ares. Of COURSE you can hold him--he's your son."

Joxer lifted the infant, and Ares gathered him into his arms. Ares made a surprised sound. "He's so tiny!" He looked sharply at Apollo, who was waiting nearby.

Apollo shrugged. "It's to be expected. He IS a little early, and male produced babies are likely to be a little smaller, since the bodies weren't originally designed for pregnancy--less room. But he's fine, Ares. His heart is as strong as Pegasus', his lungs would do a Harpy proud." Ares was unfolding the blanket. "I told you he's all right."

"I can look at my own son, can't I?" His eyes were flicking over the baby.

"What are you DOING?"

"Counting fingers and toes," said Joxer. Apollo gave him a skeptical look, but a hint of color rose in Ares' cheeks. "I counted, Ar--ten of each, complete with nails. He's perfect."

Ares' head was cocked. "About his... uh... equipment..."

"I didn't take the foreskin," said Apollo. "I figured you might remove my head if I did."

"Wise man. He can decide for himself later on how he feels about that. But what I meant was... Uh..." Apollo and Joxer were both looking at him expectantly. "Well..." He held his thumb and forefinger close together.

Apollo covered his mouth, and Joxer's eyes flew open as his hands went to his stomach. "Oh, oh, oh! Ares, don't make me laugh NOW! He's a BABY, for Olympus sake! He only needs enough to pee with right now. If it was any bigger, when he grew up it would go past 'wow!' into 'get that away from me'."

Ares looked a little sheepish. "Okay, so it's silly. I just want my kid to be happy."

"I can understand that, but geez, didn't you change Cupid's diapers when he was little?"

"Well..."

Joxer was still smiling at his husband. "Uh, huh. Well, you can forget about THAT. You're going to be a hands on daddy this time around, believe me. Ares?" He hesitated. "We can't keep calling him 'He'."

Nodding, Ares sat down on the edge of the table, beside Joxer. He'd folded the baby back into the blanket again. Now he was tickling the baby's palm with one finger. The little boy closed his fist around the finger. "Look, Joxer--he's holding my hand. Mm, he's got a grip, too. I'd like to know what his godhood is going to be before we name him. You know, we don't want to give him a name that would be totally at odds with his nature."

"Right. No one would take a God of Disemboweling named Maurice, or a God of Fluffy Animals named Spike seriously." Ares looked at him sharply. "I'm kidding. Actually, I'm hoping for something somewhere in between."

"We can have the others in for a couple of minutes if you'd like to see if Zeus will let you know now," said Apollo.

"Please," said Joxer.

Apollo went to the door, and a moment later the other gods and goddesses filed quietly into the room, gathering around the table. Olympus had rarely seen such a collection of smiles. Even Eris' normally hard expression had softened a little. There was general agreement that this was an extraordinary baby. Cupid sighed. "Cute as Tartarus, but no wings. Someone needs to have a baby with wings, so Bliss and I will have someone to preen with." Several people noticed that, as he said this, he took Strife's hand, and Strife's free hand wandered to his own belly.

Joxer looked up at Zeus, who was bending over the baby. "You know, in a few months, you're going to have to be careful of your beard when you do that. He looks like he's going to be a grabber."

Zeus laughed. "Babies have special dispensation on things like that." He glanced at Joxer, then Ares. "I suppose you two want to rush me into declaring his godhood. Well, I've fooled you again--you aren't rushing me. I've been thinking about this and consulting with the Fates ever since we learned this little man was on his way. I believe we've come up with a very appropriate godhood for the son of War and Peace." Zeus carefully cupped his hand over the baby's downy head. "You see before you the new God of Mediation. Your son will be the middle ground between aggression and pacifism." There were murmurs of approval among the others. "Yes, I'm rather proud of that. Now, I expect the new family could use a little privacy. There'll be plenty of time for official pomp and circumstance later."

They left, each of them exchanging congratulations, hugs, and kisses with the new families. Strife and Cupid were the last, and Strife said hesitantly, "Unc, d'ya think that mebbe I could...?" Ares silently laid the baby in his nephew's arms. They watched as Strife gazed down at the baby, his expression one of curiosity and tender wonder. He looked shyly at Cupid. "Damn, I forgot how tiny babies are. Cupe, d'ya think that I...?"

Cupid squeezed his shoulder. "I think that you're going to be a kick-ass father. You already ARE. Ask Bliss sometime."

After they left Ares sighed. "It's nice to see ALL of my kids, natural and adopted, happy and secure. So..." Joxer was holding the baby again, and Ares reached down to tickle the infant's chin. "What are we going to name this guy?"

Joxer shrugged. "I guess our 'wait till the last minute to decide' strategy sort of blew up in our faces. I don't think that any of the ones we discussed fit now, but it shouldn't be too hard to come up with something suitable. Lesse... God of Mediation. Um... Median?"

"Not bad," said Ares. "Conciliate?"

"A bit of a mouthful for someone so small, maybe. And Harmony is too girly. I know Strife says that the Britains are going to name men Beverly, Vyvian, Shirley, and Evelyn in the future, but I don't think we're ready for that now."

"Sometimes I have to wonder if how much he just makes up."

"The scary thing is that I think the answer is 'not much'."

Apollo came over. "I'm going to leave you two alone now, but I'll be in later to check up on you. I'll need to give you instructions about how to care for the cord stump later." He left.

"Joxer, you have a peculiar look on your face. What are you thinking of?" asked Ares.

"Cord."

Ares nodded. "Future bellybutton. I hope he has an innie."

"Ares? Accord." Ares cocked an eyebrow. "To be in agreement?"

Ares smiled slowly, repeating the name. "Accord." He looked down at the baby. "Accord?" *uh* "I think that settles it. He knows his name." Ares kissed the baby's nose. "Accord, God of Mediation.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

Aphrodite was sitting on a couch in the House of Love, snuggled up against Hephastus, enjoying a glass of wine. "I didn't think it was possible for someone ELSE'S pregnancy to exhaust me, but there you go," she sighed.

Heph hugged her, stroking her hair. "And you're going to volunteer to baby sit the second they're ready to let him out of their sight, aren't you?"

She giggled. "Do you think there's any other way that I'm going to get a chance to dress him?"

"Just be sure you get any trace of pink off him before Ares sees it. The last thing we need is a War God having a heart attack."

"Poo, it won't be that bad. He's a lot mellower these days, haven't you noticed?"

"Sure. Everyone has, even if they don't mention it. I have to tell you, Dite--there have been times when I was pretty sure that I'd have to supply chains to keep Ares from just ripping Olympus and Greece apart. I'm not worried about that since he got together with Joxer. And Joxer seems different, too." He scratched his chin thoughtfully. "He bragged a lot, but you could always tell that underneath he wasn't sure of himself. He's much more assured now." He chuckled. "And assertive. He wouldn't have said boo to Ares when he first came up here, but now I sense that he gives as good as he gets."

Dite nodded. "It's the give-and-take, Heph. I know that 'opposites attract' is going to be a dreadful cliche some day, but it's sort of true. Ares give Joxer security, so that Joxer can believe in himself. Joxer gives Ares unconditional love, so that Ares doesn't have to be fighting the world every minute of his life. It's... it's sort of like... furniture."

Heph stared at her. "You're having a Joxer moment, my love."

She giggled. "Maybe. He rubs off on people. But it's true, Heph. It's like furniture. You've built furniture, right? What do you think of a table with only one leg?"

He frowned in concentration. "Well, it will stand, and it looks all right, but it's pretty easy to tip over."

She nodded. "And one with TWO legs?"

"Two? It's POSSIBLE, and it will even be more stable than the one-legged one, if the legs are placed precisely, and are sturdy. The balance is better."

"Okay." She held up a finger. "One man alone. Possible, but likely to upset." She held up the second finger. "Two together. Support, and balance. More stability. Now, then..." She curved her arms and made a rocking motion, then held up a third finger. "Three?"

Hephastus smiled, nodding. "Firm and steady."

Aphrodite returned his smile. "Complete." She settled her head on his shoulder, thinking of Ares, Joxer, and Accord. She sighed, and smiled again. "Balanced."