Part 2
Hermione entered Grimmauld Place that afternoon to find Ginny and Draco struggling with the curtains in front of Mrs. Black’s painting. She was of course protesting loudly and violently.
“Blood traitors! Muggle lovers!”
Spotting Hermione she shrieked out, “Mudblood! Filthy Mudbloods invading my house! The shame!”
Hermione rolled her eyes. She did not need this after spending the day with her mother, who kept dropping hints about the nice single man she met at work who had come in for his regular appointment. “Such nice teeth Hermione! And good hygiene! He obviously knows how to care of himself. So attractive too, you’d make adorable babies together. Gladys was just in last week telling me about her newest grandchild. She asked after you and of course I had nothing to tell her. I do wish you weren’t such a workaholic. Would you consider using a love potion? I want grandbabies Hermione.”
Needless to say Hermione had a headache and Mrs. Black’s shrieks weren’t helping any. In fact they only made her head throb in unison with her shrieks. “For goodness sake!” Without thinking Hermione whipped out her wand, intent only on making the dreadful noise stop. She pointed it at the portrait and cried, “Silencio!”
Instantly the noise stopped. Hermione didn’t allow her surprise to show though. Mrs. Black’s mouth moved but no noise emitted from it. Incensed at this discovery she made threatening gestures at Hermione. Irritated, Hermione flipped her the bird before stalking closer to the portrait. Ginny stifled a giggle and Draco smirked.
“Now you listen to me. Until you can learn to behave yourself that spell won’t be lifted. And if you find that you can’t behave yourself…” Hermione trailed off and fixed the portrait with an intent and determined expression. “While I may not be able to use magic to remove your portrait I can still get rid of you with muggle means. Ever heard of turpentine?” She questioned. Seeing she was getting nowhere Mrs. Black’s face set in a mulish expression. Undaunted Hermione continued. “It’s a wonderful product. Removes paints and destroys portraits. Bet your bigotry didn’t make you think of guarding against that did it?” Hermione asked with satisfaction. Her eyes narrowed. “Even portraits like yours. Cross me and I’ll throw so much turpentine on you, you’ll be nothing but a memory. A blank canvas. I might even have Sirius’s portrait painted on my shiny new canvas. Understand?”
In shock and fear Mrs. Black nodded her head.
“Good.” Hermione nodded and put away her wand. “I think I’ll leave the silencing charm on. I have a terrible headache.”
Ginny looked in awe at Hermione. “Amazing. I never would have thought of that.”
Draco snorted. “I’m not surprised.”
Ginny slapped him on the shoulder. “I didn’t see you come up with it either all the times you’ve been here.”
“It just wasn’t high on my list of problems to solve, Weasley. I would have if I had devoted the time to it.”
“You’re letting your adoring fans fill your head with with erroneous conclusions about your intelligence, Malfoy.”
“Jealous Weasley?”
“Of course not!” Ginny denied hotly.
Hermione just rolled her eyes and ignored the argument breaking out in front of her. When they would realize that their insults were flirting she didn’t know. If they didn’t get together soon, Hermione just might lock them into a closet somewhere. She made her way up the stairs to her room. Due to the fact that less people would be staying at Grimmauld Place than usual Hermione would finally have her own room. The house had been cleaned out long ago so Hermione wasn’t worried over where she would be staying like she would have been a few years ago. She was more than capable of taking care of herself in any case.
So Hermione tiredly climbed the stairs and walked down the hall glancing at doors as she went. Names had been tacked on the doors informing guests of who would be rooming where. She passed an open door and looked inside. Luna was seated at her desk scribbling industriously on some parchment. Her wand was tucked behind her ear and she wore pale green robes with ferns along the hems. Part of her hair had been swept back and secured with a bronze clip in the shape of a stegosaurus.
She wondered what Luna was working on but was afraid to ask. Not wanting to get caught in a ridiculous conversation she hurriedly passed on. She spotted her name on the door two down from Luna’s and opened it with relief. She set her bag on the bed and hurriedly unpacked. She wanted to take a nap but knew she would be unable if she didn’t get everything squared away. After she was done she reached for a headache potion and quickly downed it. She felt it soon begin to take effect so she slipped under the covers with a sigh.
**********
Down the hall Fred and George were going over the plan one more time. “On Christmas morning we’ll get everyone up early saying we’d rather they open our gifts without Mom and Dad present,” Fred began.
“They naturally wouldn’t approve of some of them anyway,” George acknowledged.
“Definitely not wholesome and sweet entirely,” Fred agreed.
“So we’ll gather everyone together in one of the downstairs rooms Mom never thinks to check when searching for us,” George continued.
“And hand out the gifts along with our lovely and thoughtful Christmas cards.”
“While they’re distracted, I’ll seal the door so they can’t escape when they realize what’s going on,” George added.
“The cards will shower down innocent-“ Fred picked up.
“Or so they think-“ George interrupted.
Fred finished, “ Snow while the message is read.”
“Which we’ll ask them all to open at the same time as the message is the same.” George further explained.
Fred nodded. “Of course they’ll be suspicious.”
“So we’ll open ours to show them nothing dangerous will happen.”
“Which it won’t because ours won’t have the extra enhancements that theirs does,” Fred pointed out.
“After which they’ll open theirs and the real fun will begin!” George concluded.
Then the twins shared an excited grin and a high five. “This is going to be so much fun!”
Part 3
Hermione woke up in time for dinner. She ran a brush through her hair then headed down. The kitchen was brimming with noise and people.
Harry, Ron, and Draco were sitting at one end of the table discussing Quidditch. Luna and Ginny were sitting nearby taking a quiz in the Quibbler. Fred and George were sitting with Sirius as far away as they could get discussing their joke shop. Even after all their success and their help during the War, Mrs. Weasley still didn’t entirely approve of the twins’ career. Sirius threw his head back laughing at something Fred (or was it George?) had said. Absently Hermione noted how attractive Sirius looked when he laughed. He had a great smile and when he laughed his eyes took on the most charming twinkle Hermione had ever seen. Her stomach flipped.
“Hermione!” Ginny and Luna had looked up and spotted Hermione. Her gaze jerked in their direction. She willed the blush from rising on her cheeks. What had she been thinking? She prayed no one had noticed. A speculative look from Ginny warned her that Ginny had and she might be in for some questions later. Luckily no one else seemed to. Luna had dropped her gaze back to the magazine.
Hermione took a seat next to Luna and tried to act as if nothing had happened. She could pass the blush off as the heat from the fire in the room later. Never mind that the fire was across the room from where she had been standing in the doorway. If she did nothing else to bring suspicion to herself Ginny couldn’t call her on it. Hermione pointedly didn’t look in Sirius’ direction. “So…what sort of quiz are you taking?”
Luna airily replied. “Just a quiz on what type of guy is suited for you.” She rattled off a few of the results. “The Outgoing Wizard, the Romantic, the Older Man…”
At those last words Ginny’s gaze focused on Hermione with all the passion of an inspector who knows she’s got a good lead. “You should take the quiz Hermione. Maybe you’re suited for the older man. You did go with Viktor Krum to the Yule Ball in your fourth year right?”
Hermione nervously nodded. “Yes. But he wasn’t that much older than me, really!”
Ginny slanted a sly glance at Sirius and Hermione started to panic. Please don’t let her say what I think she’s going to say. “Maybe you should start dating older guys again. Guys like-“
“I’ll take the quiz!” Hermione desperately snatched the magazine from Luna. Luna gave Hermione a weird look and she tried not to think of how fast things had spun out of control. Today was just a bad day all around now that Luna of all people was giving Hermione weird looks.
Mercifully, Ginny seemed willing to droop the matter now that Hermione was taking the quiz. Not that there was a matter to drop, Hermione assured herself. There was nothing going on. Nothing at all! So she had noticed today that Sirius had an adorable twinkle in his eyes. Lots of men had twinkles. She didn’t want to date them all. So Sirius had long hair, and that face that showed his experiences in an attractively rugged way, or that smile that seemed to draw you in and give your stomach butterflies. Bill Weasley had long hair and was good looking too, but Hermione didn’t want to date him. Though she had noticed in the past how good looking Bill was when she first met him. Never mind that! It didn’t mean anything. Surely you could notice how attractive some people were without it meaning a thing. It was just an appreciation of nature’s beauty.
And that was exactly what she would tell Ginny later when she cornered her. Which Ginny surely would. If that didn’t work Hermione would just bring up Draco to distract her. She’d turn the tables and inquire about Ginny’s feelings for him.
Hermione rushed through the quiz despite her distraction. When Luna saw she was done, she reached for the magazine. “Let me see what you got?” Hermione reluctantly handed over the quiz. Honestly, she scolded herself. It’s just a quiz. Those things are ridiculous anyway.
“Hmm.” Luna said. “According to this, Ginny was right.” Luna turned her intent stare on Hermione. Hermione nervously remembered how perceptive Luna could be when she wanted to. She willed herself not to glance at Sirius. “The quiz says that you go for the older, experienced man.” Hermione absently wondered how experienced Sirius was before she could stop herself. She blushed at the thought and laughed weakly. “Oh. Imagine that.”
“Yes,” Ginny said archly. “Imagine that.”
Luckily Mrs. Weasley’s voice rang out over the noise in the kitchen saving Hermione from further speculation. “Alright everyone supper’s ready! Clear the table. Fred! George! Put that away, and set the table” Fred and George dutifully hopped up and got busy. “Hermione. Sirius. Would you get the drinks? Ginny, Luna, Harry, Ron; Carry this stuff to the table please.”
Soon everything was on the table, bowls and plates of food were passed around and everyone began to eat. Hermione was thankful to be sitting between Percy and Draco. Ginny and Luna were sitting at the other end of the table now and unable to continue to question her. Draco was telling everyone at their end of the table now what Hermione had done to Mrs. Black’s portrait. Sirius, who was sitting across from Hermione, looked up in surprise before favoring Hermione with a grin that nearly stunned her speechless at the sight of it. Thankfully no one noticed her reaction, too busy reacting themselves to the news. “Really? You threatened her with my portrait?” Sirius burst out laughing. “Damn I wish I could have seen that! I can just imagine the look on her face!” And with that he lost control, laughing all over again.
“Ingenious those muggles are,” Arthur remarked. “They’ll think of a way to do anything without magic, and even those things we can’t do! Wonderful people muggles are.”
The conversation soon turned to other things. Hermione would catch herself staring at Sirius and look away before someone noticed. So she welcomed the distraction of chatting with Percy. She could focus entirely on him and not embarrassing herself. They discussed the latest gossip and goings on in the Ministry. This inevitably led to a discussion about dating. Or rather how they weren’t while everyone else was. “I haven’t been on a date in quite a while,” Percy noted grumpily. “Not a lot of people truly understand what I did or know the full story. There are all kinds of assumptions made.”
“I’m so sorry to hear that, Percy. Maybe you should date someone who actually lived it. Someone who was involved in the Order?” Hermione suggested. “How about Tonks? I think she’s single.”
“Um, I’d rather not.” Percy glanced down the table at Remus. “I heard she was dating Remus. Probably not wise to infringe on a werewolf’s territory,” Percy said with a grin.
“I suppose not,” Hermione laughed. “Well what are you looking for?”
“Well she’d have to be intelligent, not intimidated by my family, and willing to know the real me and not what people say about me. She’d have to understand how important my job is but also have a good sense of humor and interest in life.” Percy leaned in with a conspiratorial smile and whispered, “ Not many people would believe it of me but work isn’t everything.”
Hermione burst out laughing earning her weird looks from the other Weasleys who wondered just how Percy had managed to say anything that entertaining. Percy just wore a straight face and they soon dropped all interest. Only Hermione noticed the twinkle of amusement in his eyes. Wait, that’s not true. Over Percy’s shoulder Hermione spotted someone watching Percy surreptitiously with a very interested expression. Caught, Luna looked away with a small blush. Aha! Luna likes Percy! I see I’m not the only one with a thing for older men. Hmm. Glancing back at Percy she wondered what he’d think of the idea brewing in her head. She seemed to fit Percy’s requirements.
“Um Percy, I think I’ve just thought of the perfect person for you.”
Lowering his voice so as not to be overheard Percy asked, “Who?”
Lowering her voice as well Hermione whispered, “Luna.”
Surprised Percy responded hesitantly, “Luna?”
Nodding earnestly Hermione listed his requirements back at him. “She’s very intelligent. She was in Ravenclaw. We both know how you like Ravenclaw girls,” she teased Percy. Percy laughed but agreed. Hermione continued. “She’d be willing to know the real you. She knows how image and gossip can be deceiving. She’s dealt with being called Looney Lovegood and the fact that people didn’t want to get to know her just because of that. Plus, your family definitely does not intimidate her. How much time has she spent with them? She’s practically a Weasley by now anyway.”
“That is true,” Percy conceded. “But,” he paused with a glance down the table. “I thought she had a thing for Ron?”
“She got over that years ago,” Hermione assured him.
Percy remained unconvinced. “Why would she want to date me? I’m the least attractive and interesting one of the bunch.”
“That is not true, Percy!” Hermione denied hotly. “You’re very good looking. You just don’t put yourself out there like your brothers do. You’d be surprised how many girls in Gryffindor thought you were cute.”
“Really?” Percy asked intrigued.
“Really.” Hermione stated decidedly.
“Hmm.” Percy looked with interest down the table at Luna. She was talking animatedly to Ginny about something. She seemed to glow with this otherworldly energy. Her long, blond hair swung as she shook her head at something Ginny said. She was beautiful, Percy had to admit. But would she date him?
He turned back to Hermione. “I’ll think about it.”
And Hermione knew he would.