Title: Hocus=Pocus, Part Three
Authors: royslady 51 and Growly
royslady51@yahoo.com
Fandoms: Harry Potter, CATS, Invader Zim, Lion King, Lion King 1½, Dragonlance, X-Men, Phantom Menace, MiB and several Original Characters.
Genre: Slash
Series: maybe
Archive: Yes
Rating: Anywhere from PG-14 to NC-17
Warnings: There be KENDER in here! Oh, yes…and it’s a Mary Sue, of course.
Disclaimer: I don’t own anything but my tent and it’s contents: But, Growly owns Aiden, Julian and the rest of the Silverwolf Clan, who are her Original Characters, and anything odd that those characters have or do is her’s too. She also owns the Chrysalis Dragons and the societies of the world they live in. All of that are products of Growly’s imagination and the copyright to it is pending.
Hocus=Pocus, Part Three
By royslady 51 and Growly
Something black and shiny caught Growly’s eye and she ####### her ears forward with interest as she realized what it was.
“Dib’s laptop!” She exclaimed softly to herself.
The fact that it was here unattended was astonishing, as was the sudden idea that popped into her head. Due to a previous ficlet she’d posted months ago, she had set the precedent too….
She padded over to it and flipped it open; her quick paws entering a long string of commands, codes and passwords. Almost immediately upon finishing this process, she was patched through to Irken Command.
“What’s the password?” A voice she knew snapped rudely.
As she was not really in the mood to put up with any of his really stupid games, she snarled at the Irken on the screen. “It was Puppet Shows, the last time we chatted, but if you keep me waiting it’ll probably become something far less entertaining, RED!”
The ruby-eyed Irken was one of two rulers of the Irken Empire, but remembering what she’d done to him the last time he’d given her trouble, he swallowed nervously. “Ah, it’s…you…again?” Somehow he sounded less than pleased. Of course, having an attempt to “probe” a so-called inferior lifeform result in that lifeform taking utter and total control of him, Purple, Irken and everyone under his command had been humiliating enough…but then she’d started using him as her own personal boytoy…and they weren’t even a compatible species!
So, it was understandable that his next move was to say, “Uh, er…you can talk to Purple.” Before handing the communicator over and getting well out of her range. Growly scared him!
And she knew it too, “Still scared of me, is he?” She chuckled as the violet-eyed co-leader took the comm.
Purple shrugged, looking a bit harassed but otherwise unworried by Red uncharacteristic panic. “Can you blame him? He came out of it rather well used.”
“So he did.” Growly laughed wickedly. “Which just proved that Red is good for something! However, I’ve run into a problem with a certain someone….”
From the way Purple eyed her and the way his antennas went back, she could tell he knew whom she was referring to.
“Since he’s your responsibility, I decided that you could assist me in locating the little green ####. Then you can order him to go pester the MiB office in New York City!”
The sigh on the other end of the Inter-Galactic Communication channel told her everything she needed to know about the truth of culpability for Zim’s behavior.
“What do you need?” The weary sounding Irken asked grimly.
~*~
“Well, what d’we ‘ave ’ere?” Hagrid wondered aloud as he surveyed ‘Fluffy’s’ newly acquired ‘chewtoy’ curiously. “Some kind ‘O new house elf, maybe?”
As he picked up the unfortunate creature, he could make out some of what it was screaming, although it’s words made little sense either way.
“I AM ZIM!” The little green thing squalled. “YOU FILTHY HUMAN MEATBAGS WILL ALL BOW BEFORE THE MIGHT OF ZIM!”
It waved a gloved fist in the large wizard’s direction, it’s bright magenta eyes narrowed into thin, angry, threatening slits and it’s lips pulled back to expose rows of oddly jagged teeth. It really didn’t have the any ears at all, so it couldn’t be a house elf.
“Whoa there, ‘lil fella! Easy! Why, Fluffy here, wouldn’t hurt a flea!” Hagrid soothed. However, as if in response to the statement, all three of the three-headed dog’s heads snarled at the angry alien in unison. Actually, the words didn’t seem to soothe the alien, either. The creature kept right on kicking, screaming, and squirming as he demanded that Hagrid “Obey the fist!”
Slowly shaking his head, the huge wizard come to a conclusion. “I’m takin’ ye to see tha’ Headmaster. He’ll know what to make of ye, aye, and what ta do with ye as well.”
“You dare to mock ZIM?” The creature that wasn’t a house elf seemed to be horribly affronted.
“Mockery? That does sound about right, actually. “ Cam Gaz’s voice form behind Hagrid. “What are you doing around here, Zim? You’re supposed to be breaking into MiB’s Headquarters in the Office Building for the New York City Water Authority!”
“MiB?”
“It’s the U.S. Federal Agency that monitors and polices all alien lifeforms.”
“WHAT?” Spluttered Zim. “More aliens come to take over my Takeover? Nooooooo!!!! Not to be allowed! I must stop this unjust invasion!”
“Remember that escape pod you ‘gave’ me that one time?”
“Give? I did not give it to you. You took it!”
“Like I said, anyway. I have it parked right over there…” She smirked, pointing at it and watched as Zim ran over to the pod, got in and left before she looked up a the big half-giant wizard.
“You don’t want Zim around, trust me on that. He screws up everything!”
Hagrid stared at the little girl for a long moment, and then inquired, “Have you met Headmaster Albus Dumbledore yet?”
“No, but some old dude named something stupid…oh, yeah…Snape, yeah that was it. Anyway, he said the Headmaster wasn’t due back for at least a couple of weeks.”
“In that case, perhaps you would like to quarter with Prof. Snape, at least until after you’ve been properly sorted into a House?” Hagrid said as he led her back toward Snape’s dungeons.
“Sure, why not. He’s okay…for an old man.” She paused thoughtfully, “I suppose he’ll do.”
“Um, Severus Snape is not really all that old.” He said just before knocking on the Professor’s door.
“He’s in his mid to late thirties, isn’t he?” She retort as the door began to open.
“Well, aye….”
“Then he’s positively ancient!” She smirked at Severus, then. “Aren’t you, old timer?”
Snape’s lips tightened, but all he said was, “What do you want, Hagrid?”
“She’s one of the Americans of the Sandburg-Andre-Snape line, the Headmaster told us about, Professor. Albus done brought her and her older brother in just a mite early. There’s gonna be some exchange students too, but this lass needs housin’ ‘til she’s Sorted. Since yer the Head of Household fer her line….”
“Is she?” He looked at her. “Naomi Sandburg, I take it, is your mother?” His eyes rolled heavenward. “Why me? Why do things like this…or worse…always have to happen to ME?”
He eyed her again. “You are in your tenth year of life, are you not?”
“Yeah, so?”
“And your brother is how old?”
“Which one?”
“How many brothers, who are her sons, do you have?”
“Two. Only one of ‘ems here, though.”
“Are you elder than either of them?”
“Nope.”
“And the one here is the elder or younger of the two?”
She sighed, beginning to lose patience. “Dib’s just year older than me. But Brother Blair’s in his thirties…I think.” She stared at him. “Are you done
playing “20 Questions”? Because I sure as hell am!”
“Naturally.” Snape drawled in distaste. “Wait with Hagrid while I go have a little wizarding CHAT with your dear Mama!”
“Dear? Are you out of your mind? I barely even know the scut!” Gaz growled at him. "Too bad your taste in women isn't better." She looked him over, "Or is Naomi the best thing you could get?"
END PART 3