Highway to hell, Chapter Five: Unmerry Christmas

By Ratwoman

ratwoman02@yahoo.de

Disclaimer: They all belong to JK Rowling, I just borrowed them. They certainly will be glad when I bring them back, because I'm a very sick person

Pairing: SS/LM, also to a smaller extent SS/SB

Rating: NC-17 (overall)

Warnings: BDSM, auto-aggression

Category: Darkfic, Drama/Angst, Humour

thanks to hainuwele for beta reading

Summary: Snape's time at university, when he meets Lucius Malfoy, Lord Voldemort and other nice fellows



Highway to hell, Chapter Five: Unmerry Christmas
By Ratwoman
ratwoman02@yahoo.de

Daddy, I have had to kill you.
You died before I had time--
Marble-heavy, a bag full of God,
Ghastly statue with one grey toe
Big as a Frisco seal
And a head in the freakish Atlantic
Where it pours bean green over blue
In the waters of beautiful Nauset.
I used to pray to recover you.
Ach, du.
~ Sylvia Plath, Daddy


Severus felt depression creeping closer, clouding his mind, as he packed his bag for the Christmas holidays. The last thing he wanted to hear was his mother joining his grandparents in a chorus of what a wonderful man his father had been. And then all the pictures on the walls... just thinking about them made Severus sick.

Living here was so much easier... especially since he was together with Lucius. That Lucius was married did not bother him anymore, as it did not make any difference to their relationship. Severus had met Narcissa again, once, when he'd been on a visit. Her behaviour had been civil, but cool, but on some level Severus had known that she was cool to everyone. No wonder Lucius searched for warmth elsewhere.

But now, his concern was how to survive his holidays. Severus sighed and went down to the kitchen for food.

Mill was there with Sebastian, chattering away about visiting her family in Ireland.

Since everyone else was going, too, she had hired someone to feed her pets and Lucius's snakes.

"Hi Severus," she said smiling, "when are you leaving?"

"Tomorrow." he said darkly.

Her smile widened: "I'm not surprised that you're not the Christmas type."

Severus was still a bit annoyed that Mill had known that Lucius was married. Indeed, when he had told her, she had just said, yes, she knew Narcissa, even before she'd met Lucius. Narcissa and Mill had become friends on a student exchange between Durmstrang and Beauxbaton.

While Severus was searching the fridge for something to eat, Lucius entered the kitchen. "I hope you're all free on New Year's Eve." he said.

"Not exactly." the half-fairy answered. "Why?"

"Because Narcissa and I are giving a party." Lucius said. "Dress robes obligatory." After a pause he added: "We have some very important guests."

"Oh," Mill said, eyes widening, "then I'll be free."

"What guests?" Severus asked.

Lucius smirked. "You'll see."

When even Sebastian grinned Severus had the uneasy feeling he was the only one who didn't have clue who Lucius's special guest could be.

Lucius stepped over to Severus, putting an arm around his waist and pulled him close.

"I'll kill you if you don't come at New Year's Eve." he whispered.

Severus smirked. "Then I don't need to worry; I always come when I'm with you."

It took Lucius about half a second to get his joke; then he smirked rather devilishly, grasped the back of Severus's head and kissed him deeply.

***

Around noon Severus Apparated in front of his mother's house. The wind was ruffling his hair, the air carried the scent of sea. Severus swallowed and rung the bell.

A moment later his mother opened as if she'd been waiting behind the door.

"Severus!" she called and hugged him tightly. "I'm so glad to see you!" No mention of the Howlers she'd sent him.

Severus followed his mother inside, feeling his stomach turn at the sight of all the pictures of his father framing the hallway. They reached the living room, where his grandparents sat on the couch, smiling at him.

"Severus!" grandma called. "How you've grown!"

Severus blinked: he certainly had not grown since last time he'd seen his grandparents. Forcing himself to smile he patiently shook their hands and listened to them chattering about how he'd changed into a man. His gaze flitted through the room. There was a huge Christmas tree lovingly decorated. Fortunately it hid at least some of the pictures of the smiling face of his father.

Severus excused himself claiming that he wanted to unpack his bag and fled to his room. How was he supposed to survive Christmas?

***

Severus actually spent most of his time hiding in his room or taking walks on the shore. Fortunately his mother and his grandparents were too busy talking about his father to miss him.

But he could not hide on Christmas Eve, so after cutting he went downstairs.

For supper they had turkey and mashed potatoes. Severus ignored his grandparents telling stories of the time when his father had been a child, how excited he'd always been at Christmas. His mother added with a reproachful glance at Severus that he had also loved Christmas when he was married to her, and how he'd want them to be happy. Severus glared darkly back at her, so she became more pronounced: "Why do you always have to pull such a face?"

How he wished he could just strangle her!

"He'll be happy when he sees his presents!" his grandma threw in cheerfully.

Severus wondered how many years in Azkaban he would get if he killed both his mother and his grandparents. Too many, he decided.

"Now tell us, Severus," his granddad said winking at him, "did you finally find a girlfriend at university?"

"No," Severus said, smirking, "but a boyfriend."

"W...w...what?" his grandparents asked unison.

Severus's mother laughed in false amusement. "He's just joking!" she said.

Severus decided to leave it at that. Soon his mother had changed the topic and no one was thinking about his answer anymore.

***

It was always difficult to find presents for his mother. It was easier with his grandparents, they were very fond of wool gloves, warm socks etc. But his mom who seemed to have one single hobby...

So this year Severus had bought her a book fresh on the book market: "Saving the Wizarding World: A History of the Aurors." It covered the time from the founding of the Aurors some 900 years ago up to the present. His father was mentioned in the book, too, as one of the best Aurors of his time.

Severus's mother of course was delighted with the book and started leafing through it at once, but soon she frowned: "What does that mean? - ONE of the best? He was THE best!"

The pictures on the wall beamed at her and called: "Thank you, my dear!"

Severus faked a smile when he unpacked his grandparents presents. Some books he already owned.

"Hope they're not too difficult for you, dear!"

Maybe he could plead for self-defence if he killed his family?

His mother's present was even worse: a foe-glass, that had once belonged to his daddy. Worst was, he would have liked that present, if it had not belonged to his father.

***

Severus stayed up longer than his grandparents and his mom, remained in the living room getting drunk on her most expensive wine.

"Dad, I hate you." Severus said, turning to the pictures on the wall. For once, they were not smiling, but looked at him in indignation. "You stifle me. You take away all the air I need. You loom over me, like a tower, no, like a gigantic statue on a high pedestal, so high I can never reach you. Instead your shadow hangs over me wherever I go, taking away all light, so that I have to perish like a plant in the dark."

It probably was the alcohol that made him so pathetic. His father's face on the pictures was looking differently, so earnestly. No smiles anymore, rather sorrow.

Suddenly, Severus thought, his father's face was not so different anymore to his own.

"Cheers!" Severus said, toasted the pictures and emptied his glass of wine.



***
end