FIC: Highway to Hell II: New Life

By Ratwoman

ratwoman02@yahoo.de

Disclaimer: They all belong to JK Rowling, I just borrowed them. They certainly will be glad when I bring them back, because I'm a very sick person

Pairing: Sev/Lucius, also to a smaller extent Sev/Sirius

Rating: NC-17 (overall)

Warnings: BDSM, auto-aggression

Category: Darkfic, Drama/Angst, lightened up with a healthy amount of Humour

Thanks a lot to hainuwele for beta-reading

Summary: Snape's time at university, when he meets Lucius Malfoy, Lord Voldemort and other nice fellows




Highway to Hell, Chapter Two: New Life
By Ratwoman
ratwoman02@yahoo.de


"Thank you for giving
This bright new morning
So steeped seemed the evening in darkness and blood
Let there be no sadness, no sorrow,
let there be no road to narrow"
~Nick Cave and the bad seeds, New Morning

Severus Apparated with his trunks in the kitchen of the shared house. Lucius was there, scratching something off a frying pan that looked like charred scrambled eggs, while he was swearing in French.

Severus smirked. "Hello Lucius."

Lucius swirled around, looking alarmed. "Ah, it's just you." he said, "Mill mentioned that you're moving in early." Then he added, frowning at his ruined food: "We could really need a house-elf here!"

For lack of an answer Severus just nodded his head and moved upstairs, levitating his trunks behind him.

He let himself fall onto the bed, staring at the ceiling, as soon as he was in his room. He could unpack later.

Was he really free now, of his mother, his giant of a dead father, his terrible classmates? Could he start anew?

Severus laughed, feeling the first flickers of doubtful happiness. Everything would change now!

Maybe he wouldn't even need his blades any longer.

*

The month before term started was quiet. Sebastian Goyle spent most of his time in his rooms and if they met in the kitchen he hardly said a word - Severus thought, he was a very agreeable housemate. Lucius Malfoy rarely was at home; Severus did not know where he spent his time, maybe visiting his family. But whenever they met, Lucius watched him intensely, as if trying to size him up.

That was making Snape a bit nervous.

Carmilla was a nice, friendly girl, maybe a bit too nice, because she was talking incessantly, trying to befriend him. On one hand Severus was glad that he was not completely left alone in a new place at a new period of his life, but he needed to be alone, too. She was quite suffocating in her attentions. He was really relieved when she left for two weeks to visit her family in Ireland even if that meant that Severus and Sebastian had to take turns in feeding her cats, snakes, rabbits and hamsters during her absence.

Severus often went to the campus, it was very quiet since the summer break was not over yet. To his relief, the campus looked much different than Hogwarts; of course, he had always preferred Hogwarts to his home, but he had never been happy with all those immature babies around.

The campus consisted of several buildings of red brickstones which were built in a circle. The biggest of them was the library, the others the Faculty of Natural Magic (including potions and herbology), the Faculty of Practical Magic (which were Charms, Defence Against the Dark Arts and Transfiguration), the Faculty of Divination (including Astrology, Astronomy, Scrying, and Tarot), and the Social Sciences (including History of Magic and Muggle Science).

The Campus itself was not hidden from Muggles, but they would think it an ordinary university if they passed the grounds. Spells made sure that they would, for example, read Natural Sciences instead of Natural Magic.

Severus spent hours visiting the deserted campus, and by the time term started he knew every single corridor of every building. He only saw a few single older students walking around, who did not spend their holidays at home.

*

Two weeks into August the first owl sent by his mother arrived. It was a Howler, without any doubt complaining about the impudence of his leaving against his mother's will and not writing for two weeks, and possibly a reminder of what a disappointment he would be to his dead father.

Severus was in the kitchen at breakfast with Sebastian Goyle when the owl arrived.

"Oh, a Howler!" Sebastian said in anticipation. That was the longest sentence Severus had heard him saying so far.

Severus just smirked, tipped his wand to the red envelope and said: "Tace!"

Then he threw the neutralised Howler into the fire. His mother never knew that he had learned how to disarm Howlers when he was thirteen.

Sebastian looked at him with admiration. "Hmm," he said appreciatively and started silently eating his breakfast.

*

The weeks passed, Carmilla came back from Ireland and the new term started. The first two days consisted of preliminary meetings for the first-year tudents.

Severus went in anticipation to the meeting of the Potions students at eleven the first day. He was the first to arrive and watched with interest as the other first-years arrived. Most were from Hogwarts, from his year: two Ravenclaw girls, one Hufflepuff (Snape sneered disdainfully when he saw him), also a Slytherin who had graduated one year earlier. As he told Snape, he had been working one year before starting to study. A lot of people from poorer families did that.

There also were two students from Beauxbaton and one from Durmstrang.

A bit late, the Professor entered the laboratory, followed by her Assistant. She was an untidy looking woman with dishevelled, long grey hair, wearing faded blue robes. Her Assistant, about thirty years old, looked the more proper, with short, smooth hair and glasses.

"Good morning," she said brightly. "I'm Professor Virginia Russ, I'm going to instruct you in the deeper knowledge of Potions in the years to come. If you're impatient, you're at the wrong place. If you're stupid, you're at the wrong place.

If your Potions grades at school were anything below O, you're at the wrong place. Finally, if your working style is loppy, you're at the wrong place." After this not so warm welcoming speech, she added with a bright smile: "Now, you see, we're a small faculty, as not many people have the patience required for Potions. So, since we're going to work closely together in the next few years, I'd suggest everyone tells us a bit about themselves." Severus rolled his eyes. He hated that kind of game.

"If you'd start..." she said to one of the Ravenclaw girls.

Severus barely listened as student after student gave a more or less short description of themselves. However, Snape's description definitively was the shortest: "My name is Severus Snape, and I'm here to study Potions, not to have a hen party."

Professor Russ's eyes widened, but not in anger as he had expected, but in recognition: "Are you the son of Validus Snape?"

Severus was very tempted to throw a Cruciatus at her. "Yes," he snarled through gritted teeth.

Professor Russ did not seem to notice his rage. "You must be very proud. He was a great man, he once saved my life."

Stop, please stop, stop, please, please... but without mercy she started telling a story were Dark Wizards had wanted to force her to brew a certain, complicated poison for them, threatening to kill her if she didn't. She'd been sure to face death just when a group of Aurors including Validus Snape rushed in and killed the Dark Wizards. As she found out later, Validus Snape had been following the Dark Wizards' steps for quite a while, trying to catch them red-handed.

Severus wished his father hadn't succeeded; then he'd have another Potions Professor, because he disliked Professor Russ at first glance.

***

The preliminary meeting for the DADA classes would be that afternoon; Severus took lunch in one of the small cafeterias on the campus. He hardly had eaten half of his fish and chips, when a familiar voice behind him called: "Aw, look who's here!"

"You!" Severus snarled and turned around. Like a nightmare, Sirius Black, along with James Potter, Remus Lupin and Lily Evans, were standing behind him.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Severus hissed.

Sirius Black frowned. "Same as you, I guess. Though I hope not the same subjects!"

Snape stared darkly at them.

"What are you studying, Severus?" Remus asked more mildly.

If he wanted to find out what they were doing, he'd better tell them about his subjects. "Potions and DADA." he spat.

Sirius Black growled in frustration. "Great, then I'll have to see your ugly face again."

"In DADA?" Severus guessed.

"Where else? In Potions?" Sirius snarled.

Remus smirked. "We all do DADA, though I'm the only one who does it as a Major."

"Transfiguration," Severus guessed as the other subject. They had all been quite good at that.

"Herbology." Lily corrected.

"Whatever." Severus snarled and refocused his attention on his lunch.

***

Severus did not even look at the Marauders as he entered the DADA seminar room in the afternoon. How should he survive five more years with them?

There were more first-year students than in Potions, Severus counted 17.

After a short while, a man with short dark hair that was greying at the temples entered the room and sat down at the desk, eyeing the new students with interest. "How many of you plan to become Aurors?" he asked.

The Marauders and about 8 others raised their hands.

Smiling, the Professor shook his head. "Don't." he simply said. "Unless you're aware that it's no exciting James-Bond-adventure." Snape (and quite a few more)wondered who James Bond was.

"So," the Professor said, "now to DADA: I'm Professor Exciter, and I'm going to accompany you through your studies in the coming years." Next he told them which courses he recommended for them as first-years to attend, and which ones would be too difficult yet. Severus liked him much better than his Potions Professor until he asked for their names. Of course, the name Snape rang a bell for him.

"Related to Validus Snape?" he asked.

Severus nodded grimly. Professor Exciter smiled slightly, a strangely understanding smile, and never stirred the subject again.

***

"How was your first day?" Carmilla asked when they happened to meet in the kitchen that evening.

"Fine." Severus said darkly. So far, he had resisted the urge to cut his arms and watch the beautifully red liquid flowing down his skin in rivulets. He wanted to give up that habit, and he wouldn't succeed if he let slight troubles, like the mention of his father's name twice in one day and the presence of the Marauders, make him take up the blade again.

"There's an start-of-term party in town tonight." Carmilla said happily. "Do you want to come along?"

"I don't know..." he said.

"Come on, you shouldn't miss it!" she said.

Maybe it would really be best to come along. If he was alone, he might find his blades too tempting.

***

The party was taking place in a club in town; some of the guests were Muggles, but most were young wizards from the university. They were adapting by wearing Muggle clothes in the shrill colours of the late seventies. Well, Snape was refusing to wear shrill colours, just blue jeans and a black sweater.

Severus soon realised that going to a party in his current mood had not been a good idea. Carmilla met a few friends and, after introducing him to them, ignored him completely. Of course, he knew some of the students, most of them had been at Hogwarts after all, but he was not really friends with any of them. To make things worse, the Marauders were there, (this time including Pettigrew), and from the look of it, they enjoyed the party immensely.

Emptying his third bottle of beer, Severus grimly watched them as they were dancing boisterously, singing along the lines of "Born to be wild"

"we're looking for adventures
or whatever comes our way"

How could his arch-enemies dare to have so much fun!

Severus longed for his blades. Blood, relief, pain... To distract himself, he started playing with one of the candles on the tables, holding his hand close enough to the flames that it hurt. He felt... better, but it wasn't enough. Maybe another beer would help.

Through the haze of smoke and drunkenness, Severus saw Lupin flirting with Carmilla. Severus felt sick. Great Merlin, don't let the half-fairy engage in something serious with Lupin. He couldn't bear with Lupin being in their house all the time.

Ok, Severus told himself, Mill is not the type for serious, long-lasting relationships. That he hoped when he saw her kissing Lupin.

"Didn't you arrive with that girl?" Sirius Black, suddenly standing next to him, asked.

"Yeah," Severus snarled.

Sirius Black grinned. "Guess she found someone more interesting."

It took Severus a few seconds before he understood that Black had thought he had some interest in Mill. He blamed it on his drunkenness when he gazed at Black and said in earnest: "You really didn't know that I'm gay?"

"No," Black replied, taking a drag of his joint, "did you know that I am?"

Didn't he have had a few girlfriends at school? Severus shrugged his shoulders. He was not really interested in Black's sex life, even though he looked incredibly sexy in his leather pants and tight shirt.

Damn, had he said that aloud?

Black looked at him with a mixture of shock and bemusement and went off to meet Potter, Evans and Pettigrew.

Disgusting as Black was, talking to him had taken his mind off his desire for the moment. Now, seeing all the groups and couples, the yearning for sharp things came back. He felt like he was the only one who was alone here; everyone else had friends, or was making new friends (Mill was now sitting on Lupin's lap).

Worse, he had the feeling that people were eyeing him secretly, wondering why he was alone. Severus fled to the toilet.

In his haste to get into an empty cabin, he dropped his bottle of beer. Perfect. It crashed into glittering, sharp pieces, smiling up at him. Severus sat down on the toilet bowl and picked up one particularly long shard of broken glass.

It was sharp at the edges, shining in the dim light the lamp at the ceiling was giving. Smiling in anticipation, Severus rolled back the left sleeve of his sweater.

His anti-scarring salve was really good; his skin was smooth and white and flawless there. Yet. Severus touched the broken glass to his skin. It felt cold, and hard. Severus pushed deeper until the first drops of red appeared. Sighing in relief, he moved the sharp edge across his skin, drawing a line of blood. The pain was brilliant, soft yet shining white. Severus added two other slashes on his arm, then concealed them with a charm.

After taking a piss, he stumbled back to the ball room. The alcohol and the loss of blood made him drowsy; Severus fell onto one shabby old armchair and closed his eyes.

***

Severus awoke the next morning when someone kicked his side. He realised with a throbbing head that he was lying on the hard floor. Hmmm, at some point he must have left the arm-chair he'd been sitting on.

"Get up, you perverts!" a voice called.

Severus shivered as cold air brushed his skin. Why was he not wearing any clothes?

Sitting up, he groaned because of a throbbing pain in his head. Looking around he noticed that he was in some kind of store room. And next to him lay a naked man.

What the hell had he done last night?

Only unrelated pictures came to his mind. He dimly remembered drinking another beer, oddly enough with Sirius Black. Black had been somehow frustrated because James and Lily had gone home early, and Pettigrew and Lupin had left with some girls...

Sirius Black?!?

Severus cast another glance at the man beside him. He stirred and sat up, looking worn and confused. Yes, Sirius Black.

Severus threw up.

***

Using a cleaning charm for the carpet he had ruined had not been a good idea. The owners of the club, who had found them naked in the storeroom, were Muggles and believed that the university was a normal one.

Realising his mistake, Severus cast a memory charm on them; but, having a terrible hang-over, he had not been able to control his magic, so that the two Muggles afterwards did not even remember their own names. Sirius Black was no help, just staring incredulously at him. So Severus just put on his clothes and left, leaving Sirius and the forgetful Muggles behind.

He was not in a state to Apparate, so he had to walk home. Severus felt weak, sick and... shocked. Had he really slept with Sirius Black? How drunk had he been???

Finally Severus arrived at the house that he recognised as his and went in. Stumbling right into the kitchen, he wanted to take something against his headache, maybe eat something, then go to bed. But he stopped right in the doorframe. Mill was having breakfast, together with Remus Lupin.

Lupin stared at him with equal surprise. "What are you doing here?" he called.

"I live here." Severus replied.

"You look like hell." the half-fairy said with a grin, "had a great night?"

Severus felt his stomach turn. Without a word, he ran upstairs towards the bathroom.

And this was the beginning of his new life.



***
END PART 2