TITLE: He Ain't Heavy

AUTHOR: Firestorm17

FANDOM: Harry Potter

PAIRING: Weasley/Malfoy

RATING: R

ARCHIVE: ISF, Mpreg, list archives, CKoS, WWOMB

DISCLAIMER: I'm not JKR, and I'm not getting paid.

FEEDBACK: Send any to
eaherbst@prodigy.net If you want to tell me that I'm mentally unwell, I get enough of that from professionals.

WARNINGS: Squicks on parade again. How many can *you* name this time?

SUMMARY: Those who fail to learn from history are doomed to repeat it.

NOTES: This is the sequel to "Brother, Where Art Thou?"


He Ain't Heavy
by Firestorm17

Ron Weasley couldn't shake the feeling that he should have known better. After all, he'd been hearing about the family curse since long before it could have possibly applied to him. After the
incident in Percy's sixth year, his mum and dad had brought the whole family together to hear the story again.

Five hundred years ago, their ancestor Gareth Weasley had been caught cheating outrageously on his fiancee. After breaking off the engagement, the scorned lady had called up the darkest of magicks to punish her faithless lover. From that day forward, everyone who had carnal knowledge of Gareth Weasley would find themselves pregnant soon after.

The philandering wizard had married within the year, with the considerable encouragement of the father of the bride who had been holding a wand to the groom's head. The modern Weasley family descended from their twelve children. However, the curse's work hadn't stopped there. All twelve of Gareth's children had carried on their father's curse. His daughters' husbands had been very surprised to say the least.

The spell had carried through the generations to the present day Weasleys. With only seven kids, Ron's family was one of the smallest since the curse was cast. His mum and dad had drilled it into all their heads that none of them should be having sex until they were ready to be fathers. Recently, Ginny had been getting most of the lectures since their parents were well aware that she was dating Hermione. Ron's own relationship, on the other hand, had been an absolute secret.

In the middle of that year's Gryffindor-Hufflepuff game, Draco Malfoy had somehow gotten into the Gryffindor section of the stands. When the Slytherin had loudly asked whether Harry was going to kill this one too, Ron had thrown the first punch. As they'd rolled around under the bleachers, Ron had discovered that Malfoy wasn't wearing any underwear, and one thing had led to another.

Their spectacularly violent encounters had continued right up until the incident in the prefect's bathroom that had left Ron in the hospital wing vehemently denying the implications that he'd been
raped. After that, the relationship had become somewhat less bloody if only because of the fear of discovery. Certainly, neither of them had needed a suturing charm again. The near religious avoidance of the already suspicious Madam Pomfrey could almost be blamed for the way both wizards had missed all the symptoms for over a month.

Draco's early morning nausea had been chalked up to the house elves' unsuccessful attempts at huevos rancheros. Even Ron's usually cast- iron stomach hadn't stood up to trying to eat nearly raw eggs for breakfast. The sudden need to pee all the time had coincided with a visit from Fred and George who'd been ripped new orifices for including their little brother in a prank on the Slytherins. As for the sudden sensitivity up Malfoy's arse, Ron had flattered himself enough to credit an improvement in his technique. Of course, when he'd shared that theory with the blond, Ron had found himself flat on his back being screwed senseless until he'd finally admitted that
Draco was just as good.

The mistake could have gone on even longer if they hadn't taken the stabbing pain in Malfoy's belly for appendicitis. Ron hadn't been allowed to join Draco in the infirmary, but he'd later had it
explained to him that the discomfort had come from the temporary womb, already fully formed and rooted behind the blond's balls, detaching itself from the Slytherin's intestines. Their secret had
been out in minutes as Malfoy had inventively and somewhat ironically cursed out the entire genealogy of one Ronald Weasley.

Ron's mother had been furious. Her anger had had nothing to do with the fact that Draco was a boy or a Slytherin or even both. His mum's problem had been that one of her children had very obviously been having sex before marriage and on top of that had gotten his partner up the duff. After Mrs. Weasley had gotten through with them, Ron and Draco had made plans to be handfasted in April. The rest of the family had been somewhat calmer at the announcement. In retrospect, the wistful expression on his father's face should have sent up a few red flags for Ron.

The other family secret hadn't been exposed until Mr. Malfoy had come looking for his son while Draco and Ron were taking advantage of the fact that Draco most likely couldn't get pregnant again at the moment. Ron supposed that there were worse ways for your SO's father to find out that you were screwing his precious son, but he couldn't think of a single one. He hadn't been sure how Lucius Malfoy would react, although he'd suspected that the Unforgivables would figure into it. The former Death Eater fainting dead away had not been a possibility he'd considered.

The whole sordid story had come out then. The boys had been disturbed but not overly shocked to learn that their fathers had once had sex. They had known all too well where that kind of passionate anger could lead. What had startled the younger Weasley and Malfoy was the knowledge that Lucius had become pregnant. His voice shaking, Draco had asked what had happened to his brother or sister. Ron had needed to catch his lover quickly when Lucius had informed them that one of Draco's brothers was right there in the room.

Before it could really sink in for Ron that he'd lost his virginity to his own brother, he'd remembered the baby. Most of the panic had gone into wondering if something was terribly wrong with their child. Draco had spent hours in stirrups while Madam Pomfrey had determined that the blond was carrying a perfectly healthy baby boy. The relief that their little one would be all right had calmed them both considerably.

Draco and Ron had made an earnest attempt at bringing their relationship to a more brotherly level which had barely lasted out the week. By the eighth night of no sex, the two of them had been at each other's throats. Since Ron had been worried about being too rough with his pregnant lover, he'd been the one who had ended up on his hands and knees getting his narrow behind fucked six ways from Sunday. Before they'd even gotten up from the floor, Ron and Draco had come to a decision. Brothers or not, they wouldn't be giving each other up.

Fortunately for them, another round of tests had shown none of the wizarding world's hereditary diseases in their shared blood. Just to be safe, Draco had made plans to start serious birth control after their son was born to make time for more invasive testing. They'd been sure that they had everything under control, but everyone had forgotten one thing.

Ron lifted his robes and took himself out. Taking aim on the loo, he started to pee. His fingers got wet as he brought the paper cup that had come with the kit into position, but Ron was a bit too rattled to notice. Putting the half-full cup aside, he finished up and tucked himself away again. Tipping a few drops of oily potion into the cup, Ron watched in utter horror as those drops took the shape of a plus sign.

"Oh, shit."

What they'd all forgotten was that in addition to being Ron's brother, Draco was a Weasley along with everything that implied, including the family curse.

"Hey, Malfoy, I think you better sit down."


THE END