Title: As Found by.....

Author: Max

E-mail: jadekirk007@yaroo.co.uk

Rating: R to be on the safe side

Pairings: Snape/Hermione

Archive: Yes, please

Summary: When Hermione finds a diary in the library, complete with the last person she expected commenting, turns her world upside down.

Author's Note: Some of the characters are from 'the new arrival' and 'Snape's Brothers' so be warned but this is set during that fic. Set after 'Dreams, Dormious Projectionous Potion and red Leather'. Set in Harry's Sixth year. This is an AU because I haven't killed off Sirius and he's been found innocent. It's a magical diary so the comments can interrupt the original entries.**means Diary entries and memories**, ^are comments made by the person who 'found' it first^, ' are thoughts' and ~are what Hermione and Albus writes in the diary ~.Memories are written in script form.


As Found by.....
by Max

Chapter 1- The library.

Hermione sat at her usual seat in the library, which was deserted as usual, and opened the book that she had taken of the shelf, a black book fell out and landed., at her feet. She bent down and picked it up, "Hmm it seems to be a diary of some sort." She murmured to herself. She flicked to the front of the diary and in familiar spiky writing read, 'The property of S Snape, 'and written underneath that, read in a more loopier writing read, 'As FOUND by A Rickman.' Hermione paused, "S Snape? Which one? At last count there was three of them, Well four if you count Alan but he's not a 'S Snape."

She wrote in the book. ~Which Snape do you belong to?~

As if an invisible hand was writing across the book, ^^I belong to whichever you wish...Well, what are you waiting for? Written permission from your mother? Read on and all will be revealed. I can tell you all his secrets^^

The incident with Ginny in her second year at Hogwarts rang in her ears. 'Must see Dumbledore.' and she left her homework to go and find him.

Five minutes later a very out of breath Hermione Granger arrived at Dumbledore's office. The door opened and Professor Snape came down the stairs. Hermione didn't even look at him, she just rushed past him almost knocking Snape onto his behind. "Sorry Sir." She muttered as she reached the top of the stairs.

Snape just muttered back, "Ten points off Gryffindor."

Dumbledore opened his door and Hermione rushed in, "Miss Granger, I trust you had reason to rush in here like a maniac and knock the potion master flying, Sherbet Lemon?"

"No thanks, I found this diary and I was wondering if it has anything to do with You-Know-Who."

Dumbledore held out his hand for the diary, "May I?"

"What? Oh sure." Hermione handed him the diary. Dumbledore opened the diary, Hermione's writing still shining on the page, and wrote on the front page. ~Who do you belong to?~

^^Huh?^^ The diary read, ^^What do you mean? I don't belong to anyone. Oh wait.....you mean this diary, well, How do I know you're not the owner trying to trick me? Who is this?^^

~Albus Dumbledore, Headmaster of Hogwarts....~

^^Hi Albus...^^

~What do you mean, trick me?~

^^Don't tell Severus but I stole his diary... Damn I told you who I belong to..Well the diary does..^^

~Who are you?~

^^Didn't you read what was written above?^^ The diary wrote, ^^You are wearing glasses aren't you Albus?^^

~You're A Rickman.~ Albus wrote.

^^Well spotted. Do you want to hear some dirt?^^

Hermione grabbed a quill and scribbled, ~Sure.~

^^Who are you? You're the one who wrote in me first of all.^^

~Hermione Granger.~

^^Hi, you're the one who Severus writes about. I never knew he had a imagination like that.^^

Dumbledore raised an eyebrow and looked at Hermione, "Any idea about that?"

Hermione shook her head and scribbled, ~What do you mean?~

^^You remember your dream about Severus in tight leather and you lied to him and told him it was a certain male actor, what was his name again? Ah yes Alan Rickman. When I read this entry I got all flustered, just imagine what it did to Severus...^^

Dumbledore looked at Hermione in surprise. "You dreamt of Severus?" Hermione nodded but Dumbledore smiled, "Excellent."

~You're Alan Rickman? ~Hermione wrote her hand shaking slightly 'Oh my god, he knows about the crush I have on him. 'Gathering herself, she wrote, ~How did you get hold of Professor Snape's diary?~

^^Let me show you. I'll show you a secret he's been hiding for ages first.. By the way, did you enjoy your time with Bed hopper?.^^

~OK.~

^^Young lady, you didn't answer my question. Before you get the juicy stories, answer my question^^

Albus looked at Hermione, who blushed, "Um Steven came to see me and pretended to be Professor Snape and we…. Um.." She broke off, blushing, as Albus laughed. "You're not mad?"

"My dear, I can understand the effects Steven had on you… I'm not mad at you.."

The diary flashed a yellow, ^^Hello?^^

Hermione scribbled down an answer, while trying to hide it from Albus ~Yes I enjoyed it.~

^^Good, now I'll show you the dirty mind that is your Potion's Master. Not for the faint hearted, although that time spent with Steven will mean that you, Hermione, would've seen it all anyway…You still want to see this?^^

~Yes Damn it.~ Hermione wrote.

~Yes of course.~ Albus wrote.

^^Ok, don't say I didn't warn you.^^

Dumbledore and Hermione were suddenly pulled into the diary.




Chapter 2- The memory

/Hermione and Albus found themselves in a classroom. Hermione walked to the front and sat down in the corner and Albus came down and sat down next to her.Albus patted Hermione's arm./##Don't worry. Severus will be along shortly.##

(Severus swept in, dragging Steven in by the arm, and threw him on his desk.)/Hermione got up to try and help Steven but then sat back down as she realised where she was./

Severus: I can not believe you did that.

Steven: Why not? You know what I'm like. It's even worse now, especially after that bite.(pause)Besides she was gagging for it. She wasn't going to get it from you

##What bite?## /Hermione asked Albus,who indicated that she should listen closely./

Severus: Even so, did you ask her if she wanted to be shagged?

Steven: Of course I did.(Steven sat up on the edge of the desk)

Severus: And?

Steven: She said 'yes' obviously. I think the phrase 'Duh.' applies here. If she'd said 'No' I would've left her alone.

Severus: You pretended to be me.

Steven: I pretended nothing, she shags me, she shags all of us.

##What did he mean by that?##/Hermione asked Albus/

##It means, my dear, that they're so close that they share everything, including girlfriends, it seems. I remember an orgy that they had in Gryffindor...##

##Even Professor Snape? And Alan?##

/Albus chuckled/##Yes even them too. Severus was so drunk he ended up...## /Albus broke off/##Maybe you might see for yourself##

Severus: Okay, but you could've told me what you were planning, then I could've joined in...Two girls at the same time.Wish I could've been there...

^^Severus, you horny devil, never knew you had it in you.^^

Steven: You horny thing..You know, the students wouldn't believe we can be so horny..

Severus: You're right. So was it good?

Steven: You think Albus would lend us his pensieve so I can show you for myself?

##Of course I will, after doing a spell so I can see what you saw Severus.##

##Professor!##

Severus: I'll ask him

Steven: Just remember to wipe it afterwards, don't want a repeat of the pensieve episode from 'Order of the Pheonix' do we?

Severus: That never happened,(Steven raises an eyebrow)well it did but I was NOT wearing greying underwear, I was wearing black boxers...

Steven: Back to the horny potion's master..

/It suddenly went black and Hermione and Albus found themselves falling out of the diary../



end part 2

(A/N: What's his secret? How did Alan Rickman get hold of Severus' diary? Will Severus find out? What will his punishment be?)