TITLE: REVELATIONS 8: FORBIDDEN FRUIT

SUMMARY: "Crichton learns something he would rather not have known leaving him with a painful decision."

Rated: PG-13.

SEQUEL to "LEVEL BY LEVEL".

The usual disclaimers apply. No infringement of copyright is intended.

Comments to: AlisonMDobell@aol.com

"FORBIDDEN FRUIT"
A "Farscape" slash story
Written by Alison M. DOBELL

* * * * *

Zhaan asked Crichton to call in and see her when he finished his watch. He walked into the apothecary with a smile on his lips less than an arn later, just managing to hide a yawn. He had always had a soft spot for Zhaan. She looked up from her meditation and rose to greet him. "Thank you for coming, John."

"That's okay, Zhaan. What's the problem?"

"A delicate one."

He raised his eyebrows and waited. She looked at him closely.

"Are you sure you know what you are doing, John?"

He realised what she was alluding to and tried to reassure her with a smile. "Yeah Zhaan, I'm sure. I love Stark. It's that simple."

She gave a gracious nod. "Do you know what it will cost you?"

He laughed lightly. "Hey, I'm okay with this, Zhaan. Don't worry."

Something in her eyes dulled. "You don't know."

"I know all I need to know."

The Delvian priestess shook her head gently. "No, you are caught in the glamour of it, John. Dazzled, lost. You have to get beyond that."

"I'm trying, Zhaan."

"This isn't about sex."

His smile broadened gently. His good nature such that her words did not offend him. "I know Zhaan, it's incredible. The way I feel... It's like I've never really *felt* before. Never understood what was possible."

Zhaan nodded knowingly. "I know and for a while that will be enough."

His smile faltered, a slight frown forming. "Enough?"

"Then you will want more and more. Like drawing water from a well."

"And that's bad?"

"I didn't say that, John, but who will replenish the well?"

Crichton leaned towards her, now completely serious. "Spit it out, Zhaan. If there's something you're trying to tell me just tell me. I'm a big boy now, I can carry my own books to school."

"I am a tenth level P'au. I know the journey that seduces you but there is a cost for those not trained in navigating its' levels."

"I can learn."

Zhaan shook her head. "It would never be fast enough, *complete* enough."

He looked at her for a moment, connecting with the unspoken subtext rather than her words. "So what are you saying, Zhaan? I can look but I can't touch?"

Zhaan tilted her head and half closed her eyes. "An apt if odd expression." She paused a microt and looked at him. "If you truly love Stark, yes."

"I don't understand."

"Yes, and that is the problem. John, the incredible things you are feeling. The expansion of your senses, your consciousness, the merging with Stark, these things have a price. A price paid for in energy. What you might call life essence."

"Woah, woah...*life* essence?"

"Yes. The further you go, the more you absorb, the quicker your essence gets saturated."

"Let me guess, that's a bad thing?"

"For you - yes."

"Why?"

"Put simply, John, it will shorten your life."

"Shorten it how?"

She paused a microt. "That depends on how much you absorb. It could reduce your life expectancy from forty or fifty years to twenty or ten, or..." Her voice trailed off.

He was starting to get the picture. "Or what, Zhaan? Less than ten?"

She nodded, upset. Crichton thought about that, knowing he could not walk away now whatever the cost. Looking at Zhaan's face he knew she realised that.

"And John, there's something else."

He closed his eyes briefly. Why was there *always* something else?

"You will die early. Still young. Stark is a Banik. Their lives are many times the span of a human life."

Crichton's eyes sprang open, hope kindling in his eyes. He felt joy returning, happiness in his heart to know that Stark would live on after him. Not have to share his fate. He was surprised to see Zhaan looking so grave, so serious. "Why so sad, Zhaan? That's good, right? Tell me this story has a happy ending."

She shook her head. "No, John, it is not good."

He frowned. "Why?"

"Because Stark loves you."

To her consternation, a wide smile started to sweep over his face. <Oh man, he really does love me>. He already knew it in his heart of course but it felt so good hearing it from Zhaan's lips. His heart did a little flip.

"It's bad John because Stark does not want to journey without you."

"'Scuse me?"

"When you die he intends to follow."

All the colour drained out of Crichton's face. "What? That's obscene, Zhaan. Why would he do that?"

Zhaan's voice became incredibly gentle, knowing her revelation would hurt him. "Because he loves you." She paused a microt. "There is another thing you should know. Before that happens Stark intends to take you with him. When he does he will be outcast among his own people."

He did not speak. The shock to his heart stunning him. Trying to take in everything Zhaan had said. He did not doubt that every word was true. He had shared unity with Zhaan and knew she spoke the truth to him now, though every fibre of his being wished it was a lie. He felt tears prick his eyes. His joy turned to ashes. He could not bear to think of anything happening to Stark. He loved him so much. Why did this have to happen to them? They weren't harming anyone.

"I'm sorry, John, but I had to tell you."

He nodded, unable to speak. Tears rolling slowly down his face. Zhaan could not bear to see him cry, to hurt him, but the alternative was even worse. She leaned towards him and rested her forehead against his. He closed his eyes and sobbed quietly, her hand cradling his cheek, her eyes closing to petition the Goddess Kah'leen to help him make the right decision. To bring him back from the brink of a journey from which he could not hope to return.

* * * * *

Jothee did not know what to say to his father. He was so amazed that he could be forgiven so easily. Realised with sudden insight not only how much he had hurt his father but also how much his father loved him. A thing that had caused him much bitterness in the past. So many demonic scenarios tormenting his dreams. Dreams in which he had cast his father as the
villain. The coward. Running out on them, deserting them in their hour of need. Even when he had learnt the truth it was hard to excise the colourful fabrications of his youth. Now they fell from his mind in tatters. D'Argo looked at him and after a moment opened his arms in invitation. He did not say anything, everything he had ever wanted to tell his son shone in his
eyes. Jothee felt overcome with emotion. He ran to his father and accepted his embrace, eyes closed as he wept against his chest. Feeling those strong arms rock him, his father shushing him and telling him it was going to be alright. That he was loved and protected. That he was safe.

Chiana had made her way quietly hoping to see D'Argo alone. To apologise and try to mend the rift between them. She paused and saw the reunion between father and son. It moved her and made her heart lighter than it had been in solar days. She stepped back and watched them for a few microts. A soft smile of geniune joy sculpting a smile on her mask of sadness. She would come another time. Or maybe she would wait and let D'Argo come to her. Either way she would accept his decision.

* * * * *

He wanted to go to Stark but he could not do it. Not yet. It was too soon and his heart was too raw. He needed to speak to someone and there was only one other person on Moya he could open his heart out to. So he went to the Terrace and sat among the stars to wait for her. Aeryn was surprised to find him there arns later. He felt her enter but did not look round. He did not want her to see him crying. He wiped the tears from his face and tried to control the tide of emotions surging through his inland sea. <God, if this was love why did it have to hurt so much?>

Aeryn knew something was wrong. For a start since Crichton had become intimate with Stark she had hardly seen him except when she had been with them. Seeing him alone meant something must have happened. But what? She was not sure she wanted to know. She was too close to this. She saw his back bow but he did not turn round. What was the matter? In the end she could not turn round and walk out, not without knowing what was wrong. "Hey."

"Hey."

His instant response told her that far from intruding he was pleased she had come. So much information from one meaningless word. She marvelled at it and took another few steps towards him. "You okay?"

He turned then. She was alarmed to see shadows under his eyes. Realised he had been crying. "No."

She knelt in front of him and raised a hand to slowly touch his face, her fingers gently tracing the tracks of his tears. "What happened?"

He swallowed. "Zhaan."

That surprised her. "Zhaan?"

He nodded. "Yeah. She wanted to see me. It seems any news these days is bad news."

"I don't understand. What bad news?"

"Me and Stark. I have to give him up, Aeryn, and I don't know if I can. Don't know how to tell him and not break his heart."

He looked so sad, as if his heart was breaking. She wrapped her arms around him, comforting him with her gentle strength, trying to think of some words of wisdom to give him comfort but she had none. After a few microts she spoke, a hand brushing gently through his hair to calm him. "What did Zhaan say?"

He sighed deeply as he tried to get himself in control. She gave him time and waited. He pulled away and looked into her face. He loved her so much, he really did. If anyone could understand him it was Aeryn. He touched her face gently, his eyes wanting to cushion the blow when he told her. "It seems that when me and Stark join the energy we take from the mask has to be replenished. Replaced. That has to come from us."

She started to frown, not liking the sound of that. He gently brushed the frown lines clear with his thumb. "It's not so bad, Aeryn. I get to spend every microt of my life with him, for the next ten years - cycles - maybe. Then that's it. That isn't the killer though. I'm not afraid to die. I don't *want* to die but hey, it comes to us all right? Better to have ten years with a someone you love that forty years alone, right? I didn't realise that Stark's people, the Baniks, live several hundred years.
A bit like Delvians except they aren't plants." He paused and looked at her, so serious, so gentle, so loving that it made her heart ache. He started to stroke her cheek gently as if worried that *he* would hurt *her* which was absurd. "The thing is, Stark has told Zhaan that when I die he plans to follow. So his life will end when mine does." He paused, a catch in his
voice, unable for a microt to continue.

Aeryn kissed his cheek gently. "His choice, John, not yours." She said softly.

Silent tears broke and tumbled slowly from his eyes. Shiny stars falling from heaven and taking their magic with them. Castaways just like him. A stranger in a strange land. He raised his head and looked straight up as he tried to control his emotions. She watched the tears roll like jewels down his cheeks, merging in little shiny rivers. She knew he was trying to stay
in control, that his control was slipping. He had always been the most compassionate of all of them. The most easily hurt. The first to offer help, to give his understanding. No matter how many times they had rejected him in the past he had always been there for them, always came back, the hand of friendship theirs for the taking. Now he needed help and it moved her that he had come first to her. She touched his face to bring his eyes back on hers then leaned in to him and kissed away his tears. A finger drifting to gently touch his lips when he tried to speak. Cautioning him to remain silent for a microt. She wanted him to calm down again before he continued. To give his heart a moment to draw breath.

"Aeryn, I don't know if I can do this."

She nodded. Having shared a merging with them she understood just how much Zhaan was asking. She knew how beautiful, exotic and seductive that kind of connection could be. And she had only been to the first level with them. John, she knew, had gone much further. How much harder it must be for him. And then there was Stark. For a microt she felt anger at Zhaan for
interfering then realised that her reason had not been to hurt either of them, not to simply deny them this union. She did not want either of them to die, least of all prematurely. What would she do if she had been given such a choice?

"It's the Garden of Eden all over again," Crichton mumbled.

Aeryn looked at him, not comprehending the reference. "What?"

He raised his eyes to meet hers. God he loved Aeryn so much. Loved Aeryn, adored Stark. Did that even make sense? "The Garden of Eden, Aeryn. When God made our world - Earth - it was a Garden of Eden. A perfect place, everything living in harmony. The animals, the flora and fauna, it was a peaceful idyllic place. Nirvana. Heaven on Earth."

She frowned, guessing there was more. "What happened?"

"What always happens in paradise? God created the first man and the first woman. Their names were Adam and Eve and he told them they could eat of all the fruit of the trees in the garden, whatever they wanted they could have, but they must not eat from the tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil. The story is told in one of our books, it's called the bible, and it's supposed
to be the Word of God. You know, every word is supposed to have come from His mouth. In this book there's a serpent, a snake, in the garden and he's like the Devil in disguise tempting Adam and Eve to take the fruit, to fall into sin."

Aeryn held her breath. "What happened?"

He stroked her cheek gently. "Eve plucked an apple from the tree and they ate the fruit. The forbidden fruit, Aeryn. Because of that they were thrown out of the Garden of Eden and mankind has had to struggle and suffer to redeem himself ever since."

Her mouth fell open. "This God is punishing you?"

He smiled and shook his head gently. "No Aeryn, it's one of the many religions - beliefs - of the people of Earth. Some of us believe everything was made by this one almighty deity - God - and that is how part of the story goes in the bible. Other people have different beliefs and some people don't believe in anything at all."

She shook her head. "This is all very confusing, John."

He leant forward and kissed her lightly on the nose. "I know. The point is, the reason I told you the story is that what I have with Stark is like the Forbidden Fruit, Aeryn."

She nodded, understanding dawning. "What will you do?"

He sighed softly. Sitting cross legged facing her as she knelt before him, he seemed so vulnerable. So precious to her. He drew her closer. Wanting her warmth, her presence but much more even than that. Her understanding. "I can't let Stark die, Aeryn. It would be selfish. Wrong."

"What if it's what he wants?"

He bit his lip. Tears shining in his eyes as he looked into hers. His voice now so soft and hushed that she strained to hear him. Her whole body stretched and taut to catch the words. "I couldn't do that to Stark any more than I could do it to you."

END