TITLE: "THE SELFISH GENE"

AUTHOR: Alison M. DOBELL

FANDOM: "Farscape"

PAIRING: John/D'Argo

RATING: 'R'

STATUS: New. Part 3 of a series.

ARCHIVE: Yes. Just let me know where.

FEEDBACK: Welcomed

SERIES/SEQUEL: SEQUEL to "BABY BLUES"

The usual disclaimers apply. No infringement of copyright is intended.


"THE SELFISH GENE"
Written by Alison M. DOBELL
* * * * *

It had been almost a monen and Crichton was still no better. He was losing weight even though Zhaan kept making nutricious preparations which she half coaxed, half forced him to eat. No sooner was the food down than it came back up again, now bringing with it what looked like the lining of his stomach. Zhaan was more than concerned, she was worried. Every test she did
came back negative. She could not understand what was wrong. Her next move was to speak to everyone in turn to see if any of them had any clue as to what had happened. Perhaps they had seen him eat something unusual on the last commerce planet? Or had he been infected with something? Chiana had been as concerned as she was but unable to help. Aeryn was obviously
out of her dept and close to panic. Even Rygel had shown concern but he had no idea what was wrong with the human. Now Zhaan was speaking to D'Argo. He was the only one of the crew seemingly unconcerned.

"Forgive me, D'Argo, but you do not seem surprised by John's condition."

"Zhaan, on my world the sickness is part of life. It comes. It goes. We endure."

The Delvian priestess frowned. "John is not a Luxan, D'Argo."

He snorted with gentle amusement. "No, and that is why he is taking it so badly."

"Taking what?"

He looked at her and said nothing. Zhaan put down the preparation she had been mixing and stepped closer to him. "D'Argo, what do you know about this?"

When he did not answer she frowned, her look hardening slightly. "D'Argo, John is very sick. This is not just something that will pass. He may not be able to endure it."

Worry started to trickle across his face. "What do you mean?"

"I mean John is getting weaker. Every day he loses more blood. He cannot eat anything, nothing will stay down. If I can't find out what is causing this there is a very real chance that John will die."

D'Argo sat down quickly, the shock evident on his face.

"If there is anything you know about this, I pray you tell me now before it is too late to do anything for him."

The Luxan seemed to be dazed. Spoke almost to himself, as if Zhaan was not there. "It was not supposed to be like this."

"What?" Whispered Zhaan, not wanting to break his train of thought just prompt him to explain. "What is not supposed to be like this?"

He looked at her. "Luxan females endure the sickness without harm. The loss of appetite and weight allows the body to purge itself of toxins for the new life."

Startled, Zhaan was sure she could not have heard him properly. "New life?"

D'Argo looked embarrassed. "Zhaan, what I am about to tell you is not to be spoken of outside this apothecary."

She shook her head. "I can give no such promise D'Argo except to say my concern is with John, nothing else."

He nodded, knowing it was the best assurance he was going to get.

* * * * *

Aeryn was crying. She tried to hide it but he knew. He lay quietly and looked at her. She was holding his hand. He gave a little squeeze and was alarmed to see more tears fall. "Hey!"

She sniffed and looked at him, red rimmed eyes full of concern. Full of love unspoken. "Hey. How do you feel?"

"Better than you look." He joked.

She did not laugh back as he had hoped. She was worried, frightened that she was going to lose him. He could see it all in her face. Wished he could wipe it away with a word, a touch, a kiss, but he knew he could not do that. He knew he was very sick. Perhaps even dying. He could face that. What he could not face was the pain it was causing his friends. Those he loved. "Zhaan'll figure it out, Aeryn."

Unable to speak she nodded but he could see she did not believe it. "Come on, Aeryn." He said softly. "Don't give up on me, sunshine..."

His words started a fresh flow of tears. Aeryn wiped her face with the back of her hand then buried her face in his chest. He cradled her and tried to soothe her. She clung to him as if afraid that if she opened her hands he would be gone. Somehow he knew what she was thinking, stroked her long black hair gently, kissed her softly while he murmured anything that came into his head. They were both startled when Zhaan came in with D'Argo. Aeryn sat up and wiped her eyes. Crichton looked at Zhaan then locked eyes with D'Argo. The Luxan looked shocked. Shaken. And something else. What was that? Guilt? What did he have to feel guilty about? Zhaan looked at Aeryn.

"Aeryn, I need to examine John again."

She nodded but did not move.

"I think you should go and get some rest. I'll call you if I need you."

Aeryn looked suspicious, her expression anxious. "I'll stay here, thanks Zhaan."

Zhaan shook her head gently. "It was not a request, Aeryn." She leaned in close to Aeryn so her words would carry no further. "John needs you to be strong for him which means you need to sleep, to eat."

Aeryn looked into the Delvian's eyes for a microt, then reluctantly nodded. Her lips pursed together. "I'll go Zhaan, just for a couple of arns."

The Delvian nodded gracefully. "Thank you, Aeryn."

She looked at D'Argo, wondering what he was doing there but Zhaan did not explain and D'Argo had eyes only for Crichton. He looked in shock which well he might as he had not been to see Crichton in a couple of solar days. She wondered if that was why he looked so guilty. Ashamed that he had been too busy playing around with Chiana to show any concern for his friend. When
Aeryn had gone D'Argo sat on the chair next to Crichton's bed. He looked into those blue eyes and felt his hearts contract. "I did not realise you were so ill, John, or I would have come sooner."

"Hey, big guy, no problem."

D'Argo sighed and looked up at Zhaan. She nodded, prompting him. Crichton had to wonder at that. "I am afraid there is a problem, John. One that I have caused."

Confused, Crichton frowned. "You? I don't understand."

"I have not been entirely honest with you, John, and for that I am ashamed. It was wrong. *I* was wrong." He paused and looked at Zhaan. "I wish to speak to John alone, Zhaan."

Zhaan nodded and left the room quietly. D'Argo got up and shut the door.


"What do you mean you haven't been honest with me?"

D'Argo forced himself to meet his eyes. "You know when we....when I..."

"Seduced me?" Supplied Crichton, amused.

D'Argo nodded. "I wanted very much to have you. To join with you in some way." He paused, his awkwardness becoming more pronounced as he went along. "Chiana and I are incompatible, John."

"I'm sorry..."

The Luxan shook his head. "No, you don't understand. We want to have a child between us but cannot."

He said nothing, not sure where this was going.

D'Argo sighed and gently stroked Crichton's hair. It was damp with seat. He noticed how it curled in places, the way it framed his face. He touched his cheek as he struggled to find the right words. Crichton was burning up. It disturbed him. "I looked for an alternative."

"What are you saying, D'Argo?"

His hand paused. "Your mivonks, I mean your navel."

"What about it?"

"I penetrated this narrow place, looking for somewhere to implant my seed."

The shock on Crichton's face rendered him speechless. D'Argo could no longer look him in the eye. He put his hands in his lap and focussed instead on his lips, not daring to look up. "I was very careful I assure you. Luxans are able to secret various substances one of which is a pain
relieving gel..."

Crichton found his voice. It was quiet but no less damning. "You mean you raped me."

D'Argo shook his head firmly. "No."

"On my world if someone frells you without consent it's called rape. I don't care what you Luxans call it. I did not give my consent to that, D'Argo, and you know it."

"I thought you would say no. That you would not understand how important it was." He paused and dared to look at him properly. "I was right."

"No," Said Crichton. "You were wrong."

He looked at his friend in silence for a microt, wishing he could undo the last monen and return things to the way they had once been. But he could not. "I found a cavity that seemed suitable. You were perfect. You are strong, healthy and we *are* compatible. You cannot imagine how
delighted I was. How my hearts filled with joy at this gift."

"Gift? You call what you did to me a gift, D'Argo?"

He nodded, his expression solemn. "Yes. And I was convinced once the birth cycle was complete you would feel the same way."

Crichton frowned at him. D'Argo's hand drifted back up to his face, trying to smooth out the frown. Needing him to understand so badly.

"How did you know we were compatible?"

The Luxan stroked his face gently, his look so loving, so full of concern. "Trust me John, I *know*."

The human was stunned, had difficulty taking in what he was hearing. The realisation that D'Argo, his best friend, had planned this was almost more than he could bear. He mulled over everything D'Argo had said. "Are you trying to tell me I'm *pregnant*?"

A slight smile blossomed on D'Argo's face, his joy held in check by the expression on his friend's face. "As we speak John, the child grows within you. *Our* child."

He ran a hand possessively over Crichton's stomach. His touch doing strange things to him, making him feel queasy and decidedly odd. The smile that had hovered on D'Argo's face broke out into a wide happy grin. "Did you feel that?"

Crichton was feeling grumpy. Ready to be sick all over the Luxan. "I feel like throwing up."

D'Argo shook his head. "That was the baby."

"Baby?"

The Luxan tilted his head, his hands so gentle as he cradled Crichton's stomach. He took hold of one of Crichton's hands and placed it on his stomach, watching his face closely as the tiny spasm confirmed the Luxan's words. He looked at D'Argo in horror. "D'Argo, I can *not* have a baby."

He looked sad. "I know that now John, Zhaan explained it to me."

"Zhaan?"

D'Argo nodded. "Yes. She guessed there was something wrong and that I knew what it was. I hd not intended to say anything. After all, your symptoms are not life threatening to a Luxan." His voice trailed off as if he had just realised what he was saying. There were tears like bright stars
in his eyes. "I am truly sorry, John. If I had known I would never have done such a thing. Never put you in danger. But I wanted a child so badly and you were..."

Crichton finished the sentence for him. "Handy? Easy? Just some dumb human you could take advantage of? Choose your adjective, D'Argo."

The Luxan's expression darkened. "It was *not* like that. I care for you."

"Yeah, you cared so much for me you raped me. Using the drugs in your system to make sure you could do what you wanted without my resistance. If you had really cared you would have told me what you wanted and why. You would have *asked*, D'Argo."

D'Argo hung his head in shame. "Forgive me."

He said nothing. Suddenly tired and sad. For a quarter of an arn D'Argo just sat there in silence, his hands now in his lap, his eyes apologising for something that he could never put right. Never fix. They both knew it. Crichton turned his head away from him, facing the wall. Zhaan came quietly into the room and D'Argo looked up, grateful for her presence. He stood slowly, not looking at Crichton. His eyes on Zhaan. "Thank you, Zhaan."

When he left the room Zhaan followed him outside. "What are you going to do?"

"What can I do? I was wrong. There is no excuse for what I did and there can be no forgiveness."

"John is not vindictive."

"No, he is not. Perhaps it would be better if he were."

She frowned not sure why he would say that then realised he needed to punish himself. "D'Argo, I need to know what to do. The foetus is growing between his internal organs. As the foetus grows there is the real prospect of damage to both John and the baby."

"Then the baby will have to be removed."

Zhaan's voice became the merest breath. "Removed?"

"Yes, Zhaan, you will have to operate and remove the foetus before one or both of them dies."

* * * * *
END