TITLE: "TOUCHING SOULS"

AUTHOR: Alison M. DOBELL

FANDOM: "Farscape"

PAIRING: JOHN/STARK

RATING: R

STATUS: New.

ARCHIVE: Yes. Just let me know where.

FEEDBACK: Welcomed

The usual disclaimers apply. No infringement of copyright is intended.

"TOUCHING SOULS"
A "Farscape" slash story
Written by Alison M. DOBELL
* * * * *

Aeryn was about to beg Pilot to call Zhaan when Crichton suddenly calmed. His breathing evened out, the thrashing, the pain filled moans dried up. She froze a microt then touched him. He was soaked through with perspiration but relaxed now. A dreamless sleep. She stroked his face and felt him react to her touch in his sleep, calming and sighing. She felt her panic subside. NIghtmares. Frelling nightmares. She got up carefully and went to get a cloth. Gently she wiped him down, kissing him softly as he began to stir. His eyelids fluttered as she put the cloth to one side, a smile of love stirring emotions so deep in her that she thought she would drown. "Hey."

"Hey."

He ran his fingers through her hair, inhaled her scent and trailed a hand down the side of her face, watching her angle her head to follow the movement of his hand. Her grace was feline. Waking up in her arms was so beautiful. She took his breath away.

"How do you feel?"

"Wonderful, sunshine. And you?"

He saw the brief flicker of concern in her eyes and wondered at it. She saw him frown. "I'm fine, better than fine in fact." She paused, wondering whether to tell him. "You were having nightmares. I almost went to get Zhaan."

A sleeping sorrow surfaced in his eyes. "Scorpius."

She bit her lip. It was *always* Scorpius. She wanted to kill him for all the pain and suffering he had caused Crichton. Hated him not only for the past but for marring the future. Filling even this wonderful man's moments of peace with terror. It was not fair. She *would* find a way to redress the balance. This time in *his* favour. He was smiling at her, a hand now cradling her cheek. Such love in his eyes. Such tenderness it made her heart weep with unfettered joy. By all that was holy, how did she deserve to be loved like this? She dipped in his arms, bringing her lips down on his, her heart in the kiss that opened up so slowly and consumed him.

<Oh Aeryn, I love you so much>

He knew she knew even if she did not yet understand. Some things were instinct after all. The kiss deepened and for a time his only thoughts were of Aeryn. Wanting to love her with every inch of his body, wanting only to please her, to worship her. Her hands were now stirring him to rise against her touch, his desire igniting, his passion sweeping through his mind and body in a beautiful wave of emotion. <God Aeryn>

Her tongue had long stopped fighting his. She wanted him. Not tomorrow, not in some vague future when she had sorted out her feelings and could express her thoughts, but now. Today. *Always*. He knew. He felt. He understood. He reached out with his mind for the favoured touch, the gentle echo that had cradled him so lovingly on Denari Prime. That had taught him that dreams really could come true. A sliver of ice touched his heart. He paused, suddenly tensing. <Stark?> There was nothing. A silence so absolute, so unresponsive that it terrified him.

Aeryn felt him tense and pulled back so that she could see his face. Look into his eyes. "What is it? What's the matter?"

He did not know what to say. Mind floundering, searching for Stark. His friend. His lover. His soul mate. The silence of his heart wounding him with every empty breath he took. What the hezmana had happened? Where the frell was Stark? He felt Aeryn stroke his face gently, her eyes filled with worry and concern for him. Misunderstanding his reaction, his sudden distress.

"It's alright, John. I'm here. It was just a nightmare."

He looked then, deep into eyes he loved so much. How could he tell her? How could she possibly understand the loss sweeping through his soul and tearing him apart? He struggled to hold back the tears. <Stark? Stark? Where are you?>

All thoughts of passion gone, Aeryn took him in her arms and held him. Her words whispered like a mantra to comfort him as she gently rocked him. He closed his eyes to the horror that had no name. The terror of a loneliness so complete he could share it with no one. Not even Aeryn. <Where the hell are you Stark? And what the frell happened?>

* * * * *

Zhaan did not know what to say. What to tell her. Crichton would not tell her and there were some things she could not ask of him. Not even for Aeryn. The best she could do was try to convince him to tell Aeryn himself but he was not ready yet. Some grief gripping him that stirred fear in her heart. Not just for him but for them all. Aeryn was pacing. Again. Eyes flashing, anger rising. It was her one true constant when faced with any threat.

"I want to know what to do, Zhaan. How to end the nightmares before it tears him apart."

<And you> Thought Zhaan, not unkindly. "What makes you think it has anything to do with Scorpius?"

Aeryn stopped pacing and sucked in a steadying breath. "I heard John cry out his name."

Zhaan nodded. It was Scorpius then. Scorpius not Stark. Aeryn was looking at her oddly. Her movements became quiet, her focus now on Zhaan and not on her own feelings.

"You know, don't you Zhaan?"

Zhaan tried not to make full eye contact. To steer her away from direct confrontation. "John needs to come to terms with what is happening."

"Why won't you tell me?"

The Delvian priestess forced herself to look at Aeryn. "Aeryn, you don't need me. You need John."

For a couple of microts Aeryn just looked at her then with a nod she turned and left. Zhaan leaned on a work surface and dipped her head. "Forgive me, Kah'leen."

* * * * *

The terrace was normally a place of calm. An island of peace in the centre of whatever storms the universe threw at them. His one place of comfort but not today. Crichton stood staring bleakly out at the stars. He tried to reach out time and again to Stark. Anything to get some kind of response but there was nothing. Aeryn had talked about nightmares. Told him how he had cried out and uttered Scorpius's name. It made him go cold with remembered horrors, a terror returning to haunt him that he had thought laid to rest. What the hezmana was happening to him and where the hell was Stark? He could feel emotion building up in him. A hollow ache that threatened to push him over the edge. He did not hear the Luxan until he spoke.

"What is wrong with you?"

For a moment Crichton could not speak. Was not sure how to answer. Tears began to well up in his eyes. He did not dare turn round and face his friend. "Have you ever had a profound mystical experience, D'Argo?"

D'Argo was surprised. Thrown by the question. He frowned, not sure what Crichton meant. "Such as?"

"*Any* mystical experience?"

"Yes. In the traditions of my people such things are sacred."

"How did that make you feel?"

"Honoured. Moved." He paused and took a step closer. Just a pace behind Crichton now. "Why?"

"Well," Crichton paused, striving for control. "I'm having one now."

D'Argo frowned, trying to see if he was being mocked. He stepped around in front of Crichton and looked at him hard. The human had tears in his eyes but did not look at him. Instead his eyes were fixed on something beyond the stars. Something only he could see. D'Argo did not take his eyes off his face. "Explain."

Crichton shook his head gently, only just managing to form the word. "Can't."

He studied him a microt then nodded slowly. He looked pleased. Impressed and more than a little awed. His eyes widened a little. "Then you *are* having a mystical experience, John."

Crichton did not look at him. His focus had not changed but a slight smile trembled on his lips. "Thanks, D'Argo."

"You are welcome."

D'Argo was about to leave but hesitated. "John?"

"Uh huh."

"About Aeryn."

The tears he was fighting to contain slowly slid down his cheeks without a sound. He did not reply.

"Let me help you," D'Argo whispered quietly.

Crichton looked directly at D'Argo for the first time. He was shocked at the raw emotion he saw. The pain scarring him. "You can't help me, D'Argo." He said softly, an ache in his voice. "No one can."

* * * * *

Zhaan was not surprised by D'Argo's visit but it alarmed her how upset the Luxan was. This was getting out of hand. She was not sure she could rely on Crichton to come to her. She heard him out then reassured him. Yes, she would go and speak to Crichton. The terrace was empty when she got there so she tried his converted cell. No sign of him. "Pilot, where is Commander Crichton?"

"He is working on his module."

She smiled. Of course. "Thank you, Pilot. Is Aeryn with him?"

"No, Zhaan."

She nodded. Relieved. It would be easier to talk to him if there were no distractions, however well meaning they might be. When she got there she saw Crichton standing facing the side of Farscape 1, his forehead leaning against the bodywork, his eyes closed. A DRD was at his feet, light stalks turning to wave in her direction. Alarmed she reached out and touched Crichton's shoulder.

"John! Are you alright?"

He straightened up and looked at her. "Yeah, Zhaan, peachy."

She had no idea what 'peachy' meant but it seemed to be in the affirmative. "I need to speak to you, John."

"Not now, Zhaan."

"Yes. Now." She said firmly.

He looked at her for a microt then nodded.

"I want you to tell me exactly what happened last night."

"Last night?"

"After you returned from Denari Prime and stayed with Aeryn."

His eyebrows rose. "You know about that?"

Zhaan felt a brief flash of impatience. "I was formerly a tenth level P'au John, your sexual practices are not what interests me. I need to know what happened."

He flushed at her directness. "Uh, I um, Aeryn and me we uh...." He broke off. "Is this absolutely necessary Zhaan?"

"Yes. If we want to know what's going on we have to know the complete sequence of events."

When he fell silent, Zhaan took a breath. Expended the irritation, found her centre again. Gently she placed a beringed hand against his face, cupping his cheek gently. Her eyes full of sympathy and love for him. "John." She said gently drawing his eyes to meet hers. "I am concerned. Not just for the safety of you and Aeryn. But also for Stark. For all of us."

The mention of Stark's name penetrated. He nodded, numb. They sat on the floor next to his module, the little DRD rolling back to make room for them but hovering close to Crichton's left side. The tape on his lightstalk fraying but adding a small flash of colour. Zhaan had the odd feeling that the DRD was worried about Crichton. Once that would have seemed a ridiculous assumption to make but Crichton had a habit of makig them all care. It was one of the many things she loved about this gentle human. She knew Moya cared about him and the DRDs were after all part of Moya. She broke out of her reverie at the sound of his voice.

"Where do you want me to start?"

She took his hands in hers and looked deep into his eyes, knowing this was going to be hard for him. "Perhaps it would be best to go right back to when you landed on Denari Prime and your meeting with Stark."

"It was pretty intense." He said honestly.

She nodded. "It will not offend me. I know the feelings you share are very deep, John. Do not forget I have shared Unity with him as well as you."

"Love, Zhaan. That's the name of the feeling we share. It's called love."

Zhaan inclined her head graciously at the choked out words and gave him time to compose himself. Then haltingly he told her everything. She did not interrupt him, did not pry beyond the words freely spoken. Then he told her about his return to Moya, seeing Aeryn and spending the night together. He paused for a microt, his eyes searching hers, wondering whether she would understand. "Zhaan, when Aeryn and I made love Stark was still with me."

She nodded slightly. She had suspected as much. "How did Aeryn react?"

"She uh, she um didn't know."

Zhaan raised her eyebrows but said nothing. Crichton felt awkward. "I had planned to tell her but hadn't taken into account how I would react on seeing her again."

"And the nightmares?!"

He sighed and leaned his head back against the bodywork of his experimental craft. Eyes closed. Zhaan still holding his hands in hers, rubbing the back of his right hand with her thumb as she listened to his reponse. Her touch giving him an anchor.

"I don't remember but Aeryn says I called out Scorpius's name." He broke off and straightened up a little, opening his red-rimmed eyes to fix on her. "I don't understand how that could happen, Zhaan. The chip is out. I'm free of him."

"Maybe it was *just* a nightmare, John."

He shook his head vehemently. She was interested by his certainty. "No Zhaan, he was *there* and I can tell you something else."

Her heart missed a beat at the grim look forming on his face. Eyes turning a deep blackened grey and as uncompromising as hematite. The blue swallowed up by a cloud of grief. "He's done something to Stark."

His words jolted her. "What? How do you know?"

He shook his head, his words filled with pain. "I don't know but Zhaan, I can't feel Stark any more. I can't touch him with my thoughts, feel him in my heart. Nothing. It's as if he's gone..."

She saw the tears he tried to bite back, the agony in his face and drew him into her embrace. Rocking him gently as he cried. Her words a hush that soothed him. The little DRD seemed distressed, odd little noises muted and sorrowful as he rolled up to rest against Crichton's leg. Transmitting his sorrow back to Moya, the ship's lights muting in sympathy. Concerned, watchful and protective Moya grieved for Crichton, her DRDs picking up the emotion and trembling with the connective link that bound them to their mother ship.

* * * * *

Chiana was curious. Dominar Rygel XVI was not eating. He was in the mess room admittedly and he did have a stack of food cubes that almost matched his height, but after picking at them he had not touched them. He look light years away. Sidling over to him, the young Nebari tilted her head at him then flashed out a hand and touched his forehead. Her jerked back, intensely annoyed. "What the yotz do you think you're doing?"

"Checking if you're ill."

"I am *not* ill, now leave me alone!"

Her head tilted the other way, an abrupt angular movement like the jerky motion of a bird watching a worm. "You look ill to me."

He glared at her. "Go away."

"Not until you tell me why you're off your food."

"I am *not* off my food. I'm *thinking*."

Her interest piqued. She leaned closer. "What about?"

He looked at her coldly. "About having you sold to the first passing Hissarant."

She grabbed his eyebrow ridge and tweaked it. "Listen to me you little slug, I was worried about you okay? So don't take that tone with me."

She let go and he hovered back out of reach. "Well don't. I don't need you hanging around annoying me."

Her mood changed again, she picked a food cube up from his plate and began to eat it knowing it would annoy the Hynerian. He was very possessive when it came to food. This time he did not react, his frown deepened slightly but not at what she was doing. Something he was thinking. "Fine, you want the food cubes, have the frelling food cubes, just stay the yotz away from me!"

She watched startled and more than a little hurt as Rygel left. Baffled she looked down at the food cubes. "Frell." She sighed. It would take her arns to eat through that lot. Still. It would be a shame to waste the food...

* * * * *

D'Argo was looking for Aeryn and finally found her with Pilot. She was curled up on his console talking to him as he carried out his duties. For a moment D'Argo just stood in the doorway and watched them. They looked so content just being in each other's company. What once would have seemed so weird to him now looked normal. Aeryn looked up, surprised to see him.

"D'Argo, what brings you here?"

He stepped inside the chamber. "You."

She climbed off the console. "Why? What's wrong?"

"I'm worried about John."

She nodded. "He's having nightmares about Scorpius again."

"He says he is having a *mystical experience*."

That surprised her. "John said that?"

"Yes."

Aeryn looked amused. D'Argo frowned. Offended.

"It is not a laughing matter, Aeryn. Something profound is happening and I am worried."

She stopped smiling. "We all are, D'Argo, but I don't know what to do. Pilot tells me Zhaan is with him right now. Hopefully she can give him something to take the nightmares away."

D'Argo looked at her but did not say anything. He was thinking it would take more than some of Zhaan's medication to help Crichton. Something told him the nightmares were the least of his worries.

* * * * *

Zhaan took him to her quarters. Blue following quietly behind. She did not notice. Another DRD joined Blue as they progressed down the corridor. They waved their lightstalks at each other as if in silent discussion, then the second DRD left and Blue followed them alone. Staying close enough to monitor them without intrudiing. Once in her room Zhaan urged John to sit on the floor then closed the door. She noticed the DRD and sighed softly. "There is no need for you to be here. John will be quite alright."

The DRD gave no reaction but rolled close to Crichton, gently bumping up against his leg. He stirred and looked at the DRD, a gentle smile of pleasure washing over his face and easing the worry lines. "Hey Blue, glad you could join us!"

The DRD rattled out some muted clicks and beeps as if talking to him. Zhaan shook her head. The human was always surprising her and now his oddness was rubbing off on the DRDs. She would have to talk to Moya about it sometime. Sometime. Not now. Crichton gently patted the DRD, talking gently to him and telling him there was nothing for him to worry about. The DRD seemed to settle down but made no move to leave. Zhaan decided he might as well stay. It would stop Pilot asking her what was going on though it did irritate her that Moya was monitoring. What did she think was going to happen? Zhaan pushed the unworthy thoughts from her mind. Moya was just concerned. She should be grateful. She sat cross legged on the cushions facing Crichton. He looked up. He knew what was coming. Was not sure how he felt about going through Unity again, especially now. He felt nervous. Zhaan smiled gently at him, wanting to reassure him.

"It's alright John. Because we have already shared Unity and I have shared Unity with Stark, by joining again I should be able to find out what happened to him."

He nodded. Frightened not of Unity but of what she might find. Or rather. Not find.

"Do you trust me, John?"

He nodded without hesitation. "With my life. You know I do, Zhaan, but I'm not gonna lie to you. I'm terrified."

"Don't be. The Goddess will protect us."

He swallowed a breath. "Then let's do it." <Let's do it for Stark>

* * * * *
END