Title: A Letter to My Son

Author: Kathy P

Rating: NC17

Pairing: Johnny/Chet

Warning: Death of Character

Disclaimer: I do not make any money from my stories and no disrespect is intended

Summery: Johnny writes a letter to his son Telling him why he left the Fire Department.

By Kathy P

My son is always asking me to tell him what made me give up being a paramedic And I could never tell him. He knows there was someone else I loved before his mother, so I am leaving him this letter to read when I am gone.

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June 21, 2001
It all started in 1972 with an electrocution victim, I was a rescue man then, as a matter of Fact I had just finished telling my captain that I did not want to take the training for the paramedic program "I am rescue man, I like being a rescue man". Then we got the run to rescue a lineman the\at had been electrocuted. I knew he was alive when we got him down off that poll.

My partner Tony stayed with the squad while I rode with in the ambulance with the patient. I left him with the Dr's and went to get a cup of coffee and wait for Tony to get in. I went back to check on the patient before we left, He had just been pronounced. As we walked out to the truck I remember telling Tony "Rescue hell; all we rescued today was a corpse"

I was off shift the next day so I decided to do a little research and then went to headquarters to fill out an application for the paramedics program. That is where I met one of the men who would change my life. I say one because he convinced me to take the training and then asked me to be his partner at a new station they were opening in Carson City. Roy DeSoto was my partner and is my best friend. He is married with two great kids. He welcomed me into his family like a long lost brother, His wife JoAnne was the sister I never had and I love those two kids with all my heart.

Roy and I worked the A-shift in the squad while the engine crew consisted of Captain Dick Hammer, Capt Hammer was only with us a year however before he was promoted to Battalion Chief. He was replace by Captain Henry (Hank) Stanley. Cap was a great guy; He was always there for us. He knew when to let us get a little crazy but always put a stop to it before it went to far. We could always go talk to him about anything. He is a retired chief now.

By the way I forgot to mention that Roy retired as a captain and now live just outside of Seattle WA with his wife of 35yrs, His son Chris is the head of ER at Rampart Hospital, our old stomping grounds, and his daughter is a teacher at a reservation school in WA so she is close to her parents. Now where was I? Oh yea our engineer was Mike Stoker, a quite guy but a great friend. He could get that engine into places that would make you hair stand on end. Mike's a Division Chief now.

Marco Lopez was a firefighter and a great cook that man could make a Chili hot enough to scald your mouth but you just didn't care it was so good. Marco was injured in a fire and was unable to return to the engine, He worked dispatch until he retired and now owns a little restaurant.

The last member of the crew was Chet "The Phantom" Kelly, Man did that man love to play practical jokes, and I was his favorite "pigeon". He put water bombs in my locker, Flour bombs in the kitchen cabinets, loosened the top on the saltshaker, and anything else he could think of. A few times he missed and got the wrong person, the best was when he would get the Cap because that meant the end of the jokes for a while. Chet would hound me on every little thing from being late to work to the women I dated or lack of dates as the case may be. Believe it or not I never took it seriously or at least hardly ever, see Chet knew something about me that hardly anyone else knew. I was Bi-Sexual, Yes I dated a lot of the nurses at Rampart but had a special man that I loved more than life itself.

Only two people at the station knew of my secret, Roy, because as I said he was my brother and of course Chet, Now if your wondering why I would tell Chet when he was the one that gave me so much trouble it is simple, He is the man I loved. I had felt an attraction to Chet for a long time before I found out that he felt the same way. I often thought later that Chet was still a little boy when it came to relationships; he treated me to practical jokes the way a little boy pulls the hair or punched the arm of the little girl he likes.

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We had worked together about a year and a half when we went on a call to rescue some kids who drove off a mountain fire road. We had gotten the kids taken care of and Roy Went with them in the helicopter, I had left a handie-talkie down below and went to get it. Just as I reached in to retrieve the thing I felt it. Hector who drove the tractor clearing the way down; found me a soft branch to use as a tourniquet as I radioed the Cap. "Engine 51 this is John, I've been bitten by a rattlesnake". He sent Marco and Chet down to help me while he called dispatch and let them know what had happened.

Hector drove us back up the hill in the tractor and the guys got me loaded onto the back of the engine, since there was no other paramedic available I had to treat myself, let me tell you that is not a lot of fun. Chet stayed with me on the back of the engine while Mike drove us in. I don't remember a lot of the trip but I do remember Chet telling me "you can't die on me this way, I don't know what I would do if I lost you before

I have a chance to tell you how I feel", The last thing I remember before waking up in the Hospital was thinking "Could this be true? Does he feel the same way about me that I do about him?"

Dixie told me that Chet stayed with me in the ER while they waited for the results of the skin test that showed I had no allergy to the Anti-venom. When it was time for me to get out of the hospital Roy was busy with his kids so Chet offered to pick me up. We grabbed some take out and went back to my Apartment. "Chet we need to talk," I told him "I think something is happening between us" Man did he try to deny it. "Chet if you can tell me to my face that you feel nothing toward me but friendship I will drop this now and never bring it up again, But I want you to know that I do have feelings for you".

"No Gage I cant deny that I care for you but." he stuttered to a halt

"Chet don't worry we will take this slow and easy, we have all the time in the world to work this out".

We talked almost all night long and he said that since we were going to try to be a couple that the Phantom would leave me alone "Because the Phantom did not come out against a loved one" It took me a long time to convince him that unless we wanted a lot of questions about why the Phantom had stopped he better not change his attacks. He left that night with a simple kiss and a promise of more to come.

We were together 6 months before we did more than kiss and cuddle. We had just finished watching a movie and I was getting ready to leave since we had to work the next day. As I got my jacket out of the closet Chet grabbed my hand "John don't go, Stay here tonight".

"Chet.If I stay tonight there is no going back, it's all or nothing"

Chet just looked at me, turned with my hand still in his and walked into the bedroom.

"Chet."

"John I want this, I want to belong to you and have you belong to me"

I pulled him close and kissed him while I unbuttoned his shirt. I ran my hands slowly over his shoulders and down his back removing the shirt then I let my hands lazily run up and down his chest, stopping to play with the hardening nipples. I broke the kiss to work my way down his neck and around to suck in his Adams apple before moving down to lick and suck on his taught nipples. Chet was holding tight to my shoulders as I continued My assault on his buds and moved my hands down to his jeans, being careful to run my finger lightly over his rapidly hardening cock. I push his jeans and briefs down in on movement then pushed him backwards onto the bed. I quickly stripped and fallowed Chet onto the bed. I held him close as I kissed his beautiful body all over. We made love all night long.

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Chet and I were together for 5 years; we never let our personal relationship interfere at work. He kept playing jokes and I kept "falling" for them, no one knew I helped plan the jokes. We both dated women, but it was never serious. Things were going great until April 1, 1978

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Chet's birthday was the next day and since we were off I had helped his mom plan a surprise party, we were going to get the Phantom but good.

Chet's mom once told me that he was a prankster for the start, See her labor started early on the 1st and since her other labors were fairly short the Dr's had no reason to believe this would be any different. But Chet being Chet the contractions kept starting and stopping until he was finally born at 12:01am on April 2, she said it was like he was say haha the jokes on you mom not today.

We were all relaxing after a day minor runs for trash fires and other little things done as practical jokes when the tones sounded

"Station 51 respond to a house fire at 7582 Reynolds way cross street Seneca; 7582 Reynolds way"

Cap responded and off we went.

When we arrived we found out that a couple of boys were trying to weld closed a mettle door as a joke when the wood frame caught fire and quickly spread. Roy and I got our gear and went in search of anyone trapped in the house while the guys got out the lines and went to work.

Most of the inside was gone and Chet was inside the garage working to get out the fair there when all of a sudden the front part of the roof collapsed blocking the entrance, Roy and I ran to the side and back of the garage to find a window or door to get, there was no windows but we did find a door, but as hard as we tried we could not get it open, at the time we didn't understand why since there was no locks on the door,

All I knew was the man I loved was trapped and I couldn't get to him. Marco had finally gotten a hold chopped in the wall with an ax, but that was at least 20 minutes later. We found out 2 days after the fire that the boys had already welded that door closed as part of their joke and that is why we could not get the door open.

When we finally got to Chet he was unconscious and trapped under a burning section of insulation. We got him out and started treatment but it did not look good, we knew he had 2nd and 3rd degree burns over 75% of his body and were fairly sure his lungs were bad since his face mask was half off and he was out of O2.

We rushed him to Rampart with me telling him the whole way to hold on, I loved him and I did not want to loose him. We arrived at Rampart in just under 5 minutes that seamed like 20 to me, Dr's Early and Brackett rushed him off and told Roy and I to wait in the lounge. It seamed like forever before they came and told us that there was nothing they could do. His lungs were so badly burnt that even if they could get him ventilated that it would just tear the badly burnt and blistered throat tissue. They told me that Chet was asking for me so I left Roy and went to say goodbye to my love.

"Chet, it's ok I know that you have to go. I don't want you to suffer anymore," I told him as I leaned down and kissed him. "You have been the best thing in my life and I will miss you more than I can ever say"

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Chester B. Kelly passed away exactly 35 yrs to the minute after his birth at 12:01am on April 2, 1978

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I took a couple weeks off work to help his mom and to Grieve for my love. When I returned to work Roy and I went to Seattle to learn how they ran their program. When things returned to normal but I was not happy and the love I had for the job was gone, it was like without Chet here the station was dead. No more jokes no more laughter and any time anyone tried anything all I felt was sad.

I told Roy that I was going to take the Captains exam since I felt I could no longer help the people who needed me. Roy decided to take the exam at the same time since he really did not want a new partner and His family was getting big and they had college to think about.

We both passed and went our separate ways work wise. Roy was the Captain of station 10 until he retired and I was the Captain of station 8 for about a year before I left. There were still to many memories of Chet around. I moved to a small town in Washington and Started talking pictures while I tried to figure out what I wanted to do. I sent some the pictures off to a magazine and was surprised when they bought them. That's how I became a freelance photographer and eventually met your mother. We have been married for 20 yrs and she knows all about Chet. I am so grateful for love we shared and would not have changed a minute of our time together.

I hope that you are as lucky as to meet the love of your life. I have blessed to find that love twice.

With all my love,
Your Father