Title: I Never Stopped

Author: krydwyn

toxicrev@yahoo.com

Rating: G

Summary: Grissom gets a note from someone in his past.

Disclaimer and Note: I don't own CSI or anyone on it, just my characters and the plot lines. Admittedly, slash fic isn't my thing. Two guys just don't do it for me. But this plot bunny hopped
into my living room and refused to go away

Never Stopped

by kyrdwyn

There was no postmark, no return address. Just a letter in a plain envelope, sitting in his mailbox. He wouldn't have picked it up, if it hadn't been for whom it was addressed to. A name he hadn't heard in half a lifetime. A name he never thought he'd hear again.

Taking the envelope inside, he set it on the island in his kitchen. He put his briefcase down and got himself a glass of wine. Yes, it was not yet noon, but the combination of the case and the envelope told him he was going to need the alcohol's relaxing properties if he was going to get any sleep before his next shift.

Standing with one hand resting on the Formica, the other holding his glass to his lips, he looked at the name on the envelope. Araña. No one had called him that in years. No one in Las Vegas knew about the nickname given to him so long ago. No one could. But someone did.

Setting the glass down on the counter top, he reached for the envelope, opening it and removing the folded paper inside. A picture fluttered out, and he looked down, his breath catching in his chest. Against a backdrop of his apartment in Los Angeles was a young man, dark haired and green eyed, smiling at the camera. He was leaning against the wall, his hands in his pockets. Though he looked at ease, there was still a sense of leashed power in him. It was an old picture.

Looking at the paper, he had to smile. Short, simple, and to the point. He was in Las Vegas on vacation. He wanted to get together. He had included his phone number.

Grissom set the paper down. He wasn't sure if calling Robert would be a good idea. Too many years had passed. But even as he thought this, his hand was reaching for his phone. He got the man's voicemail, leaving a message. He stared at the phone for a long time after he hung up, then drained his glass. Taking the picture with him, he entered his bedroom, kicking off his shoes and lying down in the bed, staring at the picture. It was years old - would Robert be as different a person as he was?

He found out two hours later, when a knock at his door sounded. Groaning at being woken up from a deep sleep, Grissom muttered a few choice words as he made his way to the door. He opened the door and then stared.

The man on the other side blinked in surprise as well. "Damn, I'd forgotten how good you look when you first wake up."

Grissom's breath caught in his throat. Robert looked very much the same. A little heavier, maybe, and the black hair was liberally salted with silver, but the green eyes still had that sparkle.

"Robert."

"Gil."

The two men stood there before Grissom remembered his manners and invited Robert in. There was an awkward silence in the room while Grissom retrieved two wine glasses and the bottle he'd opened earlier in the day. He poured the wine as Robert examined the butterflies on the walls. He approached Robert carefully, offering him a glass. Robert took it, smiling sadly.

"I guess I was hoping that things hadn't changed between us."

"It's been almost twenty years," Gil replied.

Robert sighed. "It's more than just time, though."

Gil nodded. Robert was right. Time and distance were irrelevant, really.

"You've been alone too long, Gil."

He looked up, surprised at Robert's observation. "What makes you say that?"

Robert laughed, a sound that tugged at something inside Gil. He'd missed that laugh.

"I can tell just by looking around your house, Gil. Everything in here says you. Nothing that says there is someone else who shares your life, or at least shares it for more than one night."

Gil didn't say anything. Robert was right, though he didn't know that there wasn't anyone who had shared his home for even one night.

Robert had been surprised to see the changes in Gil. He had always been a quiet, introspective man. He rarely opened up to anyone, even Robert. But now it was like he'd completely cut himself off from the world, in but not of it.

"There's been no one at all, has there, Gil?" Robert read the truth in the man's eyes when he looked up from his glass. "Why? Why shut yourself off from the world, Gil? There's more to life than bugs and dead bodies. You know that as well as I do." Robert set the glass down and reached for Gil's arm, dropping his hand when Gil flinched. "Who hurt you so bad that you shut down like this?"

Gil turned away from Robert, hating how the other man had been able to read him so easily. "No one," he replied.

Robert looked down into his own glass. "Was it me?" he asked quietly. Gil spun around; stunned that Robert would even ask the question.

"No! Robert, no, you could never hurt me, even when you tried. And you did try," Gil said with a hint of a smile. That smile faded as he looked into Robert green eyes. "The name isn't important. Let's just say that I was hoping for something more than my partner wanted."

Robert nodded. The other person was looking for a good time, a few nights at the most. Gil wasn't that sort of person, and had probably thought it was his fault the other person didn't want something more. "I'm sorry."

Gil shrugged. "It wasn't your fault."

"I'm still sorry."

They fell silent then, each lost in thought. Robert eventually reached out and let the back of his fingers run across Gil's cheek. Gil looked at him, surprised. Robert let his fingers slide down to rest where Gil's neck and shoulder met. "Araña, I never stopped…" he trailed off, unable to finish his sentence. Gil smiled slightly and let his hand come up to gently bring Robert's to his mouth for a soft kiss.

"Neither did I."