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Sandburg Got Run Over By A Reindeer
by Ornery
A very DRUNK Simon's POV
Sandburg Got Run Over By A Reindeer
Sandburg got run over by a reindeer
Walking home to Jim's house Christmas Eve.
You can say there's no such thing as Santa,
But as for me an' Jim, we believe.
He'd been drinking too much eggnog,
And we begged him not to go.
But he'd forgot his medication,
So he staggered out the door into the snow.
When we found him Christmas morning,
At the scene of the attack
He had hoof prints on his forehead,
And incriminating Claus marks on his back.
Sandburg got run over by a reindeer
Walking home from our house Christmas Eve.
You can say there's no such thing as Santa,
But as for me an' Jim, we believe.
Now we're all so proud of Jim,
He's been taking this so well.
See him up there watching football,
Drinking beer and playing cards behind the rail,
It's not Christmas without Sandburg,
Too much laughing and no tact,
And we just can't help but wonder
Why we can't stop snickering behind his back?
Sandburg got run over by a reindeer
Walking home to Jim's house Christmas Eve.
You can say there's no such thing as Santa,
But as for me an' Jim, we believe.
Now the goose is on the table
And the pudding made of beer
And the blue and silver candles,
That would just have matched the ring in Sandburg's
ear.
I've warned all my friends and colleagues,
Better watch out for yourselves.
They should never give a license,
To a man who drives a sleigh and plays with elves.
Sing it, Jim! (Simon Says)
Sandburg got run over by a reindeer
Walking home from our house Christmas Eve.
You can say there's no such thing as Santa,
But as for me an' Jim, we believe.