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Peja's Wonderful World of Makebelieve Import
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Published:
2020-11-04
Completed:
2006-02-12
Words:
5,337
Chapters:
10/10
Comments:
8
Kudos:
19
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1
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Major Wooing (How to Woo a Major in Ten Easy Steps)

Summary:

Rodney uses his strengths to figure out matters of the heart.

Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Notes:

Chapter Summary:  Rodney uses his strengths to figure out matters of the heart.

Chapter Text

Disclaimers: Not mine (WHAAAAAA)
Spoilers: None
Beta'd: Yes, thanks to the wonderful Lorelle!
Feedback: Love to have it.
Warnings: Pure silliness ahead.

******************************

Dr. Rodney McKay, Chief Science Officer of the Atlantis Expedition, understood he didn’t deal well with people on a personal level, that had simply been a fact of life for as long as he could remember and suited him fine most of the time. Only now there was a major problem with that lack of ability. One Major John Sheppard, as a matter of fact.

One morning, on an off-world mission, the Major had gotten up early. He stretched out, dressed only in his fatigue pants and black t-shirt. It was in that one moment that Rodney realized he was completely lost. That the sight of a rumpled, sleepy-eyed, barefoot man could turn him on and make his heart (as well as other body parts) swell…it had to be love.

Being the scientist that he was, he spent a great deal of time trying to discover why bare feet would be a turn on and came to realize a few things:

1. Feet weren’t a particularly romantic part of the body.
2. Only the Major’s feet turned him on.
3. If the Major’s feet could turn him on, he was screwed royally.

Logically there were choices to make regarding this situation and Rodney pondered each carefully…

1. Do nothing and pretend he didn’t have feelings for the Major.
2. Do nothing while loving the Major from afar.
3. Tell the Major how he felt.
4. Show the Major how he felt.

Not being one who tolerated pain well, the first two choices were not viable as they guaranteed a broken heart. Choices three and four initially seemed like good selections - until the risks and resultant humiliation were taken into consideration.

Telling or showing the Major would leave Rodney open to direct rejection if the Major didn’t like men, didn’t like him, or just laughed in his face.

It was obvious further data was required before continuing. So for two weeks, Rodney kept detailed data on the Major to discover if he were attracted to just women or men as well. Using the standard physiological reactions a typical person had when viewing someone attractive, Rodney was able to conclude the following:

1. The Major’s eyes darkened at the sight of Teyla’s legs.
2. The Major’s breathing increased slightly at the sight of Elizabeth in a tank top.
3. The Major (when he believed no one was looking) stole glances at Stackhouse’s and Bates’ asses.

That experiment supported the conclusion that the Major enjoyed the assets of both sexes - which left Rodney with a bit of a quandary. What was the best manner in which to discover if the Major liked him?

Telling the Major had the possibility of him laughing in his face, something Rodney preferred to avoid. That left showing the Major as the most viable option as any subtle displays could be explained away as mere acts of friendship if the Major rebuffed any of Rodney’s advances.

Unaccustomed to properly winning over the affections of another as Rodney was, it became immediately apparent that rules would be required in what Rodney now considered Operation Major Wooing.

--tbc