Chapter Text
The Pegasus Conqueror--Issue 0-00
MAJOR JOHN SHEPPARD CHANGES ROTATION OF PEGASUS GALAXY
by Ladyhawk
Atlantis, Pegasus Galaxy--In an amazing feat of doing absolutely nothing, Major John Sheppard, a leader of the explorer group currently on Atlantis, changed the rotation of the Pegasus Galaxy from clockwise to counterclockwise.
Dr. Elizabeth Weir, director of the group, commented that the change occurred when Major Sheppard stood in front of a large device on a planet two solar systems away. "I had just sent the team out to search for food. They reported that they found a device that looked like an old fashioned refrigerator with a picture of a rocking horse painted on the front. When the Major opened the door of the device, the horse on the front began to rock. Soon, Atlantis, and the rest of the galaxy began to rock as well."
"It looked so much like my grandma's old fridge that I thought there might be ice cream in the freezer." Sheppard reported. "But of course, instead it's some crazy Ancient device that nearly kills us. Why didn't General O'Neill warn me about this kind of thing before I left? Especially about the part where your geeky lover refuses to speak to you for a week after you accidentally cause a disaster?"
Sheppard's lover, Dr. Rodney McKay, was the astrophysicist that discovered the change in the galaxy's rotation. "All the mysterious devices on Atlantis started lighting up at the same time. I thought the Atlanteans had all decided to return at once. But when my pencil wouldn't balance on my finger, I knew the galaxy had shifted its rotation. I checked the Doppler shifts and found that the red and blue shifts had changed places. It looked like the 2000 US Presidential election! I should have known John was responsible. And they think I'm the one most likely to be voted the Daniel Jackson of Atlantis!"
Steve, a Wraith leader, commented that this may have been the stupidest thing the Earth group has done so far. "But this will make it easier to capture them swiftly when they are away from Atlantis. This event will so agitate my brethren that they will chase the humans twice as fast as normal."
The device given the name The Major Rotator by Dr. McKay, was created by the original residents of Atlantis, known as the Ancients, the Ascended, or Those Glowy Squid People. The Squid People could not be reached for comment.
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