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Peja's Wonderful World of Makebelieve Import
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2020-11-04
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The Kiss (How To Get Rid of Personal Stalkers)

Summary:

feedback: annaliisa@offline.ee

warnings: shounen-ai, pre-slash, questionable humor

archive: yeah baby yeah but please let me know and any list where I post it

written in March 2004

Work Text:

Let me tell you now there is no worse thing than having a young preppy sister, who likes to give out her older brothers phone number, so she could be in the cool crowd in school. Like you all can guess I am a punk and my younger and extremely annoying sister is in the cheer-leading-sports-team-loving- popular-crowd. Unfortunately for me one of her friends has a crush on me. A big crush.

My sister thinks it's cute. I think it is unnerving. The girl has some stalker tendencies. My sister calls it being persistent. I call it having issues.

So I was not as surprised as I could have been, when the girl raised a notch in her stalking-o-meter, when her last tries in seducing me had utterly failed. This was exactly what I had feared the most. One day she just showed up in my room wearing a black skimpy top with a pink slogan "Rebel" in bold glittering letters..

Her dark red miniskirt would have made a prostitute proud.

She thought she looked punkishly alluring and sexy. I thought she looked like a bad eighties pop-star. No selfrespecting punk would dare to wear what she had on her. I think with the clothes she tried to show me our worlds were not that different. Sadly for her it didn't work. As for me I had to change my locks again.

So when my best friend Jake, who gets a kick out from seeing me squirm and who laughs hysterically every time he sees the girl, showed up I did something a straight man should ever do, but hey I was desperate and harsh times called for harsh measures.

I lached myself to him like a man from desert, who sees an oasis after suffering from thirst for a week. He was too shocked to react. So I used it to my gain and simpered in a husky voice to him:

"Love you came! What took you so long?"

Since I knew Hilde, my self-appointed stalker, would believe it to be a joke if I didn't do something drastic, I kissed him.

Hilde screeched and made a good fish imitation, then while stuttering excuses for me, backed, like a bat out of hell, from my room.

Jake was not amused and ducked me the second his brains and body unfroze from shock.

Luckily Hilde had left the room seconds before the action and my sacrifice of manliness was not lost.

The next half hour was spent in calming down Jake and explaining to him about not being gay and not having any sexual urges about him, the hour after that was spent in the bathroom brushing my teeth. I think I lost a layer of email from it.

So now two weeks later the whole school sans the punk crowd think me and Jake are a couple. Jake is not happy with the situation. Since he is my best friend he doesn't reveal the truth either.I think losing Hilde as my personal stalker over it was worth the price I paid. And damn I have to admit Jake does know how to kiss. No wonder all the girls are running after him. Though now some of them sigh sadly when ever they see us and others do these unnerving cooing sounds.

All our friends are amused and tease us all the time over it.

So what that the whole school thinks we are fairies? We are graduating in two months anyway and then the sweet life of college begins. And there no-one will care. The sad thing is that Jake will go to another college than me. And for some reason my heart feels a stronger pang than it should over the thought.

 

The End or TBC?