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Peja's Wonderful World of Makebelieve Import
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Published:
2020-11-04
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933
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1/1
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8
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956

Buried

Summary:

CLASSIFICATION: Cordelia/Angel & Faith/Angel interaction.
SUMMARY: Angel mourns Connor's death and almost joins him.
SPOILERS: Post "Not Fade Away"
DISTRIBUTION: Any sites with my fic up; you all have unspoken permission. I write it, you can post it. Everyone else just keep my name on it and let me know.
DISCLAIMER: If you don't recognize it, chances are it's my own creation. If you do, I don't own it. Joss Whedon, Kazui Sandollar, The WB, UPN, et. al. most likely do. The song is "Gravity" by Maaya Sakamoto, closing theme to the anime series "Wolf's Rain."
FEEDBACK: Please send it offlist and let me know it's feedback; I do rapid delete on my account due to a lot of spam
AUTHOR'S NOTES: I've been playing this song over and over and over. In the anime, *every* *single* *character* dies over the course of the series, and I always thought that was extraordinarily sad. But I wondered, in the Buffyverse, how Angel may have felt if that had happened to him, if he had to know everyone he held close in LA was dead, including his son, and thus this fic was born.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

Buried
by Ragna
writinggoddess@aol.com

It had been a long fight. So many people had been lost. Not just Angel's friends and the only real family he had left, but most of Los Angeles as well.

He had lost. It was only by the grace of the Slayers that he'd managed to survive.

They'd wanted to drag him to Giles, make him answer for what they thought he had done. He didn't care anymore. He did care when they pulled his only son out of his arms. Didn't they know he was hurting? Were all Slayers really that cold blooded and cruel?

Faith...she had been there. She saw it all and put her foot down. She'd even smacked a few of the other Slayers to the ground. She lifted Connor up and carried him back to Angel, reverently handing the son to his father.

Angel didn't try to stop the Slayers from taking him to England then. As long as he could say his good-byes to Connor, he didn't care what was done to him. Angel didn't let him go until Faith took Connor's body to Giles so that he could get a proper burial.

And now, he sat near the study where Giles spent his time as head of the new Watcher's Council. There was a view of Connor's grave out the window; Giles had asked if Angel would allow his son to be buried at the estate where Giles and Faith trained the European Slayers. He agreed, provided he was allowed to stay there to be close. Giles allowed it.

Angel didn't plan on staying long; his son had been buried earlier in the evening and, come morning, Angel would join him, wherever he was.

He headed out to the grave. There was an open window, and one of the few Japanese Slayers in residence was listening to a melancholy song that drifted through the still English air.

// Been a long road to follow
Been there and gone tomorrow
Without saying good-bye to yesterday
Are the memories I hold still valid?
Or have the tears deluded them? \\

Angel sat on his son's grave and started to weep, blood tears falling slowly down his face. He had been given a wonderful gift, and now...

He should never have let Connor fight. He should have sent him to England, to Rome...anywhere but where there was fighting. He hadn't been a good father; he hadn't protected his son.

// Maybe this time tomorrow
The rain will cease to follow
And the mist will fade into one more today
Something somewhere out there keeps calling \\

There was a light touch on his shoulder, and when he turned he saw a familiar smiling face.

Cordelia was glowing, wearing the same outfit she had worn when they had confronted Lindsey, all those months ago. She hadn't changed much at all. It was a comforting sight.

"So..." she began, sitting next to him.

// Am I going home?
Will I hear someone singing solace to the silent moon?
Zero gravity, what's it like? \\

"I want to die," he said softly, clutching a bit of dirt from Connor's freshly dug grave. He let it go to fall back where he had grabbed it. "I feel so empty. Everyone is gone."

"I know."

"And it's all my fault."

// Am I alone?
Is somebody there beyond these heavy aching feet
Still the road keeps on telling me to go on \\

Cordelia shook her head. "No, it never was, Angel. You feel guilty too often."

"But this time, I was right."

Cordelia sighed. "It's a few minutes to sunrise. You can still change your mind, you know. Giles and Faith could always use your help."

"I...can't."

// Something is pulling me
I feel the gravity of it all \\

The song ended and the light in the room went out. Angel looked at the brightening horizon. "Cordelia, what's Heaven like?"

"What makes you think I'm there?"

"Because I know you."

"It's nice." She shrugged again. "But you don't belong there, not yet."

"I don't want to go on!"

"But you have to!"

"Why?"

"You still have a difference to make in this world. And there's still someone who needs you."

"Who?"

Cordelia pointed to the figure coming towards them. "Her."

Angel turned to Cordelia only to see she was gone. He watched as Faith moved forward, carrying a large blanket.

"Kinda guessed you were gonna do this," she said quietly. "Brought this in case you changed your mind."

"I'm not changing it."

Faith shrugged and dropped the blanket at his feet. "Angel...I know how you feel. I've lost my mom, my Watcher...someone I was staring to love. Never gets any easier to deal with when it happens, but you survive. You remember them but you move on. You heal, you know?" She nudged the blanket towards him. "Take it. But if you don't, I'll take care of Connor as long as I'm alive."

He nodded, picked up the blanket and covered himself completely with it.

"I will see you tonight, right?" Faith asked the blanketed figure in front of her.

"Yeah, Faith."

"Good." She paused for a moment. "You know, I didn't believe in angels and crap like that, but Cordelia had damn good timing tonight."

Angel lifted the blanket a little. "What?"

"Who do you think told me about your suicide plans? I'm not psychic, you know."

Angel settled the blanket around him and touched the ground where his son now lay beneath, smiling slightly. "Good old Cordy," he said softly, sensing the dawn of a new day.

 

end

Notes:

This orphaned work was originally on Pejas WWOMB posted by author Ragna.
If this work is yours and you would like to reclaim ownership, you can click on the Technical Support and Feedback link at the bottom fo the page.