Chapter Text
Rev. Clarke
by Athena
The Sunday following Jim's interview on AM Cascade, Rev. Clark knocked on the loft's door. Jim looked at himself barefoot wearing a housedress. Blair was doing research at the University library. Barring no disaster at his new apartment complex; it was just him and Devin until the library closed. Jim debated a moment if he should let Rev. Clarke into his house. Jim put on his slippers before opening the door for the man in the suit.
"Reverend, you heard my side of the story," Jim said.
"You have a nice place," the minister said still in the doorway. "I came over to invite you to our church."
"I was raised Catholic. I had enough Church to last a lifetime. Would you like to come in? I could get you some lemonade or ice tea." Jim would try to be a proper host.
The minister sat at the sofa in front of the coffee table. He touched the coffee table with his fingertip as to inspect for dust. "You keep the place clean."
"Dr. Sandburg says that I'm obsessive about it. Since Devin started potty training, I must be cleaning the bathroom five or six times a day," Jim said.
Devin looked up from her toys in the living room. Devin clung to her mother's leg.
"Sweetheart, the man wants to invite us to his church. It's too late for Sunday morning service." Jim returned with two glasses of ice tea for the minister and himself.
"We have Sunday evening services. We have a nursery so you can bring Devin with you. We believe all souls are worth saving."
"Even an old drag queen like myself." Jim sipped his tea.
"I'll have some tea," the man said.
Jim's daughter clung to his leg. Jim put his daughter on his lap after handing the man his tea. Jim enjoyed the expensive chair even more now that his hernia was no longer bothering him and most his aches and pains from having Devin were in the past. "I believed in the Bible and salvation when I was young and naïve. I now think that is God is so much more than the one in your puny Bible. My husband was raised Jewish. I like thinking of God as 'The Great I am.' I like to believe all religions are right and all religions are wrong."
"Jesus is the way to salvation," the man said, as he sipped his tea.
"You think this Jesus of yours won't accept me as I am."
"God wants us to be the best people that we can be."
"I served my country. I have worked for police force more than ten years, taking more bullets than I recall, talk about thankless work. I run two apartment complexes now. I had to listen to Mrs. So and So bitch about her clogged drain for nearly an hour. I spent most of my Saturday seeing that the repairs are done properly because I care about people living in my apartment building."
"I came here on my own time, Mrs. Sandburg," the minister said.
"And you think gays don't have the right to get married or have children. All your preaching won't change the fact that we do. My father wanted me to change, so I joined the military and learned to kill people." Jim put his empty glass into the dishwasher.
"You seem rather hostile."
"It took me thirty-four years to start living for me. I was lucky that I met this beautiful, young man that loved me for me. He taught me that I was a worthwhile person as God made me."
Devin climbed back into her mother's lap, hiding her eyes from the stranger and tried to suck on Jim's chest.
"I don't understand her. I only nursed her three months, but she still tries to get on them." Jim stopped Devin from pulling the snaps of his lounge dress open. "You don't like what I represent because I confuse the lines between male and female."
"I heard you say that you didn't have sexual reassignment surgery because you didn't want to damage your body anymore."
Jim had said something similar on AM Cascade. "I've taken a few bullets in my time. I'm not into unnecessary pain. I go to the gym three times a week to keep fit. I have weights in my room that I use when I can't get to the gym. I do my best to eat healthy. Neither of us is as young as we used to be."
"You're rather cynical."
"I have a few reasons to be cynical. Most people are assholes. In my line of work, I have seen people killed over less than a hundred dollars. A man strangled his wife over an heirloom quilt once."
"That is why we need God in this heartless world."
"I thought that church people wouldn't allow a man to visit a woman."
"You aren't a woman."
"I did give birth to a baby."
"Since you carried a baby, you feel you have the right to call yourself a woman."
"The county clerk felt that way. No judge has declared my marriage invalid. It would be legal nightmare for anyone to admit that there was such a thing as a pregnant man. Please, let's not argue semantics."
"How do you see yourself?"
"I'm Devin's mother. My gender is unimportant. I use the right bathroom for the way I'm dressed."
"According to The Good Book, men and women have different roles in society and that isn't an answer."
"I'm a wife and mother then the answer is unequivocally female. I started seeing myself as female about a month before I became pregnant. I was in a restaurant thinking about how I was going to handle the next nine months."
"And?"
"I decided that I was going to teach myself how to be a lady. My daughter and husband come first in my life." Jim picked up his cell phone. "Ellison Apartments. I'll be over in an hour. Try plunging it." Jim got the apartment number. "Rev. Clarke, I have to go. Their only toilet is overflowing. I hope that it's something I can fix. No repair shops are open on Sunday night and I'm short on supplies."
"It was nice meeting you. You do your own repairs."
"I try. I have three apartments at this location and my father unloaded another complex on me. I'm not exactly the bozo you expected to find."
"Why would someone like you break the rules and carry a baby?" the minister asked.
"Because my honey believed in Dr. Hogan, I couldn't close down her research and put her in jail. I had to take that risk something good could come out of it. Another cop would have arrested her for illegal research and caused the university embarrassment. You think you know someone from one interview."
"I won't keep you." The minister left the loft.
---
Jim put a nice dress on Devin then checked his make-up in the mirror. "We're going to pay Rev. Clarke a visit." It was jacket, not snowsuit weather. After his daughter was safely in her carseat, he drove to the independent Baptist church. The church secretary opened the front door after a couple knocks.
"Ma'am, do you have an appointment?" asked the secretary.
"Yes, I'm Mrs. Blair Sandburg. Rev. Clarke opened a discussion with me on AM Cascade. We decided to meet in a less open arena."
"This way," said the woman. "Are you interested in your daughter attending our preschool?"
"A few hours a week with other children might be good for her," said Jim. "We'll look into it. She won't be three until next year."
"I can watch her while you talk to the minister."
"Devin, you can visit with the nice lady." As the blonde haired girl clung into her mother's leg, Jim said, "She's shy around strangers. The teacher at the college nursery didn't know that she could talk until she yelled Mommy."
Jim walked Devin to the playroom then bent down to kiss her before walking to the minister's office. Finally, he knocked on the minister's door.
"Please, come in," said the minister.
Jim sat on the chair and clenched the handbag in his lap with both hands. "Hello, Rev. Clarke."
"Do you dress like this to unclog a drain?"
"No, I wore a sports shirt and jeans. I was taught to dress nice for church. Your church doesn't approve of women wearing pants." Jim was going to be a lady and not say anything about the reverend coming to his house uninvited and seeing him in a housedress.
"Are you interested in our church?"
"Not really. You're the one who insulted me on the air. I'm only trying to live my life the best way that I know how."
"If you're not interested in joining this church, I really have nothing else to discuss with you. You have gone to church before and I'm not going to insult you by telling you why you need to be saved and why your daughter should attend a church preschool."
"If you insult me again, I'll consider it harassment."
"You have made yourself a public figure. Unless I say something slanderous, you have no grounds for such a suit."
Jim stood up. "Then, I guess it's good-bye."
"Ma'am, would you like be on our church's mailing list?"
"Sure, I might be interested in the preschool. My husband wants her to attend the one at the synagogue, but they have a waiting list."
"Good day, Ma'am." The minister stood up and extended his hand to shake.
"Thank you for your time." Jim went to the preschool and picked up his daughter.
"I hope you decide to use our preschool."
"I'll keep it in mind."
Devin hugged her mother like she hadn't seen him in hours. "Daddy."
The lady said, "My three-year old calls me Daddy all the time."
"Mommy," Devin corrected still hugging Jim's leg.
Jim picked her up. "Do you want to go to school?"
Devin shook her head. "I miss Mommy."
"I'll miss you too, but it would only couple of hours." Jim thought about it. He needed to check out synagogue and the UU Church. It would be good for Devin to have a religious background, and Jim could use some spiritual support in his life.
---
The Unitarian Universalist Principles are:
1. The inherent worth and dignity of every person.
2. Justice, equity and compassion in human relations.
3. Acceptance of one another and encouragement to spiritual growth in our congregations.
4. A responsible search for truth and meaning.
5. The right of conscience and the use of democratic process within our congregations and in society at large.
6. The goal of world community with peace, liberty and justice for all.
7. Respect for the interdependent web of all existence of which we are a part.
That was the kind of church where Devin could grow into the kind of human being Jim wanted his daughter to be. Rev. Clarke's kind of church held nothing for him. He would take Devin to the UU church the next Sunday.
He put Devin in a dress and wore his suit and tie to church. While taking Devin to childcare, he noticed that most of the parishioners wore jeans and tee shirts. Others were dressed nicely. No reason to strangle himself with a tie. Ties like pantyhose were also medieval torture devices. He would wear his favorite shirt and causal slacks next week.
The service had hymns and a sermon. However, the sermon was about what makes a family. The minister, a middle-aged woman, said that her daughter and her are a family; that a family can be a husband and wife without children. Families can be big or small. Some religious leaders are yelling that Jamie Sandburg is destroying family values. How can bringing a child into a loving home destroy family values? She went on to say that some people use the term, "Family Values", to include some people excluded others. Jim smiled and kept his hands on his lap while the minister talked.
Afterwards the service, Jim shook the minister's hand. "Welcome to our church," said the minister.
"Thank you," said Jim. "I need to get my child from child care."
"Did you enjoy the sermon?" she asked.
Jim blushed. "I did. One of those fundamental ministers tried to save my soul. I told him my soul didn't need saving."
"We don't preach here. Our place is to give everyone a sanctuary to find their own way. I'm Helen Faber, and you are?"
"Jim Sandburg." Jim smiled, deciding to save calling himself Jamie Sandburg for later, wanting a slight pause before the minister realized he was the person she mentioned the sermon."I have to get Devin. She's at babysitting."
"Jim, we'll talk later at coffee hour. I didn't mean to keep you from your daughter."
Jim got his daughter from babysitter."How was Devin?"
"She's was a bit shy," said a teenage girl. "She played with her doll in the corner, but she did peek my way during storytime."
"Devin, you can get some juice and draw while Daddy talks to some adults," said Jim.
The teenager said, "Since Devin is the last child to be picked up, I'll walk with you. Mr. Sandburg, you wouldn't want to get lost on the way to the social hall."
Jim picked up Devin. "Thank you." After Devin was settled with a cup of juice, a paper and crayons, Jim wrote his name on a nametag.
A woman from the newcomer's table said, "You don't have to use crayon. We have plenty of markers."
"I have a two year old. I write everything in crayon," teased Jim.
"Hello, Jim," said Evelyn. "Mine are a bit older, but I fondly remember the crayon on the walls. Please, fill out a comment card."
The minister came over to Jim as he handed Evelyn a completed comment card. "No crayon," said Jim. "Pencil this time."
"Jim, have you been to a UU church before?" asked the minister, Helen Faber.
"First time," Jim said.
"Drink some coffee," said Helen Faber. "What made you decide to visit our church?"
"My husband was raised Jewish. I was raised Catholic, but I haven't practiced in years. Reverend Clarke insults me on the air and then suggests I join his church. I couldn't see joining his church, but I do feel Devin should grow up with some religion in her life."
"I didn't except you to be in the congregation when I wrote this week's sermon," said Helen.
"It's OK. As Rev. Clarke said, I'm a celebrity." Jim said as Devin grabbed into his leg. He picked her up. "I only hope that Devin isn't harmed by the attention the media is giving me."
"She seems like a well-adjusted child," said Helen.
Jim carried Devin in one arm. "Did you like babysitting?"
Devin nodded.
"She's watcher. She takes after her father; she needs to study the culture first before she takes part. My husband is an anthropology professor."
A man came over. "Jim, didn't I see you on AM Cascade?"
"Yes," said Jim. "I was invited to go on Oprah and couple other talk shows. Lady's Home Journal and Redbook want to interview me as well as Advocate and several smaller magazines. I bring down a serial killer; no one cares a week later."
"The victims' families cared," said a man, Stuart.
"I need to talk to some other people," Helen said, "I'd like to talk to you a bit. Can you stay a few minutes?"
"Sure." After Jim put her down, Devin run to the children's table. Jim poured her some juice and returned to where Helen was staying.
"Good. I don't usually have the newsmaker I'm doing a sermon about show up unexpectedly. You caught me in an awkward moment."
"You don't have to apologize."
Making a quick good-bye, Helen talked to the lady at the welcome table, Evelyn. Jim sat a big people's table near children's table. Another man sat down to watch his child. They talked about their children. Finally, Helen Faber walked over to Jim.
"We can talk in the baby and infant room," said Helen. "That way Devin will have plenty of toys to play with."
"I was flattered by your sermon." Jim picked up Devin and followed Helen to her office. "The religious community seems insulted that a gay man can be pro-life."
Helen opened the door of the babysitting room. "Jim, take a seat. We are a Welcoming Congregation: We try to offer a place for all people regardless of where they may be on life's journey. We affirm the inherent dignity and worth of all persons and this affirmation clearly extends to those whose sexual orientation is gay, lesbian, bisexual and/or trangender. What do you know about UU?"
"Only what's in the fliers I read." Jim sat on one of the larger, adult-sized, chairs.
"What would you like to know?" Helen asked.
Jim shrugged. "I'm a very spiritual person, but I don't practice any religion. My husband took me to this monastery. The brothers asked me to give the benediction. I think I said God bless the chili. I'm not real comfortable about religion, but Devin needs some sort of religious background if nothing else than to prevent her from joining every weird religion that comes her way."
"A lot of people feel that way." Helen said, "What brought you here this Sunday?"
"I put that on the information card. Devin is getting older."
"Hope you find this church to fullfill a need in your life. Maybe, you will have more questions once you learn more about UU and our church." Helen got up. "Would you like me to walk you to the door?"
"Thanks," Jim shook her hand. Now he had to somehow pull Devin away from the toys.