Work Text:
I'm Coming Out! - Patt
~~~~~
I'm coming out
I'm coming... out!
~~~~~
Why does he feel the need to have me tell people about us? For Christ's sake, I just want to love him in private. I don't ever want anyone to know what we do together. And I just know they would separate us at work. Then friends would begin to treat us differently. Simon would stop talking to us as much and he might even stop inviting us to the poker games. And what about our poker games? Would anyone continue to come to the loft once every two weeks? I think not. I would love to come out, but it wouldn't work. Blair is going to have to get used to it.
The only part of coming out that I want to think about, is coming. I do love that part. He makes me feel so fucking good. There are times when I wish I had someone to talk to about him. I'm so in love and can't say a word. It fucking sucks. Oh wait, that would be Blair that fucking sucks. Oh good, I'm talking to myself in the truck and cracking myself up at the same time.
//I'm coming out
I want the world to know
Got to let it show
I'm coming out
I want the world to know
I got to let it show//
Jim has to know that we need to come out. He just has to. I love him so much and I want to share that news with everyone. He loves me too. He doesn't talk about it much, but I can tell. He holds me in bed like he never wants to let me go and it melts my heart every single time.
I want everyone to know and be proud of it. He's supposed to talk to me tonight. Coming out. Doesn't that have a nice ring to it? I hope he says yes. I just realized that he's never told me he loved me. Maybe he doesn't. Shit... I have to think on that.
//There's a new me coming out
And I just had to live
And I wanna give
I'm completely positive
I think this time around
I am gonna do it
Like you never do it
Like you never knew it
Ooh, I'll make it through//
As Jim continued to drive home he kept thinking about Blair and what he would lose if he said no. He knew that he couldn't take it if his Guide left him or was angry with him for a long period of time. Blair always forgave him, but sometimes things aren't meant to be. Could Blair forgive him this?
He also realized that he never told Blair that he loved him. He did. He just didn't like to admit to that. It seemed weak to the Sentinel. Did he really want to say I love you? Would he mean it? Could he mean it? Blair told him all the time, yet he never responded with anything close to it. This would be Jim's second time at loving someone and he had to do it right. He was going to have to tell him how he felt about him.
//The time has come for me
To break out of the shell
I have to shout
That I'm coming out
I'm coming out
I want the world to know
Got to let it show
I'm coming out
I want the world to know
I got to let it show//
This Guide was going to tell Jim how he felt about things tonight. When he got home, it was going to be fast and furious. Jim wouldn't know what hit him.
He walked down the hall to their door and their neighbor Mary said, "Hi, Blair. How are you and Jim doing? You have to be the cutest damn couple in the world."
"You knew we were a couple?" Blair was in shock.
"Duh. Of course we all know. We like you as a couple. Not to worry." She walked into her loft and shut the door.
Well, now Blair had something more to think about.
//I've got to show the world
All that I wanna be
And all my abilities
There's so much more to me
Somehow, I have to make them
Just understand
I got it well in hand
And, oh, how I've planned
I'm spreadin' love
There's no need to fear
And I just feel so glad
Everytime I hear
I'm coming out
I want the world to know
Got to let it show
I'm coming out
I want the world to know
I got to let it show //
Jim parked in the garage and got onto the elevator. While riding up he heard what Mary said to Blair. He wasn't quite certain how he felt about that. Scared shitless might describe it.
That means that everyone in this building knows that one of them is fucking the other. That also means the rest of them are wondering which one is doing the actual fucking. These are the things that Jim didn't want people to wonder about or ever know.
He wondered if he would ever be able to come out and if he didn't, would Blair leave him.
With drooping shoulders he walked through the front door, not knowing what was going to happen.
Blair met him halfway through the door and began kissing him. Jim tried to fight it off for a few moments, but then knew he wanted Blair as bad as Blair wanted him.
Mary came out of her apartment and whispered to her husband, "Aren't they sweet?"
Rick whispered back, "Yes. They're a good couple." And they got onto the elevator.
Blair pulled away from Jim and asked, "What did they say?"
Jim smiled and answered, "They think we make a cute couple."
"I told ya." Blair teased.
"Yes, you sure did. And I didn't listen. Chief, I love you."
Jim looked down and saw tears in Blair's eyes. "Man, you have never said that before. I love you too."
"I'm sorry it took me so long to say it. I was afraid. I love you very much."
Jim began to kiss Blair again and buried his face into his Guide's luscious, curly hair, taking in his scent.
"Let's take this upstairs, Jim."
"Fine by me, Chief."
As Blair began to climb the stairs, Jim followed singing, "I'm Coming Out."
"We're free. We're finally free." Blair shouted over the railing.
Jim tackled him and began to make love to his mate. Yes, they were free. Free to love. Free to make love. Free to be, whoever they wanted to be.
Coming out, rocks in more ways than one.
The End.
Author's Acknowledgments: Thank you Mary for the beta. You're the best.