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Peja's Wonderful World of Makebelieve Import
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Published:
2020-11-04
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2,731
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1/1
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8
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958

One Crazy Night

Summary:

Giles is spending Halloween with Buffy, or is he? B/G with implied G/E

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

Author: Escargoat
Title: One Crazy Night
Summary: Giles is spending Halloween with Buffy, or is he?
Season 5-ish (I played with the timeline a bit)
Disclaimer: I no own, I no make no money. Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, blah, blah, blah own.
Pairings: B/G, G/E themes.
Rating: PG-13 for some slightly disturbing and mature themes.

A/N: This is from the Giles Rules Baby Monday Mini-Challenge Halloween edition:
Giles, candy, someone to share it with, and something going bump in the night. Interpret as you will, and share your answers here!

Not that I needed another fic idea, but it came, and I wrote, and it got strange. Ethan isn't very nice in this fic, and there is an unwanted pass made - think Season 5 Spike making a pass at Buffy.

 

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Giles' eyes blinked a few times before finally making out the blurry objects around him. One of those blurry objects appeared to have yellowish hair and a pouty lip. Oh, yes Buffy.

"I told you I heard something, but would you listen to the Slayer with the super powered hearing? Nooooo," she scolded the instant he showed signs of consciousness.

"Yes, I'm fine. Thank you for asking, Buffy," Giles moaned as he pushed himself into a sitting position. Guardedly, he glanced around the dark room.

"I killed it. You know, when you were taking one of your enforced Watcher power naps," Buffy said when she noticed him looking about.

"Oh, was it much trouble?" He asked more as a matter of courtesy than of true inquiry. Buffy's face and agitated motions were already telegraphing how disappointing the kill had been.

"Nah, just a good old slice through the throat and Poof! No more Sneezer demon."

"That's Sneetkxer," he corrected her as he cast about for his glasses.

"Umm, Giles?" Buffy asked hesitantly.

"Yes?"

"You aren't looking for your glasses are you?"

"No, I'm looking for my nose ring. What do you think I'm looking for?"

"Did I happen to mention that I only had Mr. Pointy with me?"

"Yes, well I'm glad that you did. It would have been much harder to kill the demon without a weapon," Giles replied absently as he kept his search going. Buffy was suspiciously quiet. Then it hit him.

"Buffy, how did you slice its throat with your stake?"

"I didn't?" she responded quietly.

"How did you kill it then?"

"With a shard of glass?"

Giles took a deep breath, "That shard of glass wouldn't happen to have at one time been a very expensive pair of prescription glasses, would it?"

"Ummm, maybe?"

He turned and glared at her, or at least glared at her slightly blurry form.

"But, but you were saying that I needed learn to adapt to my circumstances, and that I should always be willing to learn how to use new weapons."

"Yes, well, in no book of mine are a pair of eyeglasses categorized as weaponry."

"Does this mean you aren't going to buy me ice cream?" she pouted.

"No, no ice cream. You've been a very bad Slayer," he snipped at her as he struggled to his feet.

"But you promised," Buffy's voice took on the distinct pitch of a whine.

"Buffy..." Giles trailed off as even in the dim lighting he could see big tears beginning to form in Buffy's eyes. They were crocodile tears, he knew, but still he could not help but feel his anger begin to dissipate. It was not like she had done anything wrong.

She sniffled and a lonely tear began to roll down her cheek.

A thousand guilty thoughts flashed through Giles' mind as he stared at that tear. The first of which was that he should really slap himself silly for trying to soothe all of Buffy's break-ups with ice cream. The last of which was that he really should slap himself silly for thinking about Buffy naked.

"That was before you broke my glasses, on purpose, I might add."

Buffy quit her fake crying and crossed her arms over her chest. "Well, you were the one who swore that nothing bad was going to happen. That it was 'Just Halloween, Buffy.'"

Giles rubbed the bridge of his nose. "Why do I have the feeling that you capitalized those words in your mind?"

"Because they deserved to be capitalized, and you promised."

"I have no wish to embarrass myself because I can't focus on my food. Can't I just pacify you with candy? I have an excellent assortment at home."

"Would that be the leftovers from the shop?" Buffy said in a slightly accusatory tone.

"Well, yes, I couldn't let it go to waste just because we had to close the shop early today. Silly children and their childish pranks. Demon attacks I understand having to close for, but stink bombs? That is just unconscionably rude."

Buffy shrugged. "Well, think of it this way. You didn't have to listen to Anya talk about how she and Xander were going to light a bunch of jack-o-lanterns and have sex by them."

"No, I suppose I should be thankful for small mercies."

"Okay, I can trade the ice cream for candy, but only if you let me pick out all the good stuff. Oh, and we lock the door and pretend we aren't home so the trick-or-treaters don't come by," Buffy said as she tangled her arm with his.

"You would deprive those innocent children of sugary treats that are sure to give them cavities?"

"You still aren't over that prank, huh?"

"Not in the slightest."

'''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''

Buffy quickly shoved Giles into his apartment before slamming the door shut.

"That was close. I think we almost got spotted," She whispered as she anxiously watched a group of poorly costumed children walk away from the next door neighbor's.

"Yes, I'm sure they were going to assault us and demand candy," Giles observed wryly.

"Hey, that is my candy we're talking about. And if you're even thinking about turning that light on, forget it."

"Aren't you taking this a bit too seriously?" Giles mused.

"Hey, you're the one who swears up and down that Halloween is supposed to be a safe night. Well it hasn't been, and I'm not taking any chances with that candy," Buffy said as she snatched the bowl off of Giles' desk. Her Watcher lit a small candle, after asking Buffy's permission, and stumbled to the couch after her.

He gingerly unwrapped a piece of candy and tried desperately not to listen to the delighted noises his Slayer was making deep in her throat. Maybe plying her with candy hadn't been such a brilliant idea after all.

"Mmmm, Giles, this is way better than ice cream," she practically purred from where she sat, the bowl cradled in her lap. She looked positively sensual, almost as if she was making love to the tiny pieces of chocolate nestled within their garish orange colored wrappers.

Giles almost choked on his laffy taffy.

"Hey, you okay?" Buffy asked suddenly closer than she had been before. Her small hand caressed his back as his coughing subsided.

"Yes, fine. I just swallowed wrong," he wheezed out his lie.

"I told you nothing good would come out of Halloween," Buffy reminded him.

"Meanwhile Xander, Anya, Willow, Tara, Dawn and probably even your mother are all having perfectly wonderful times," he pointed out spitefully.

"We don't know that, they could all be being held up for a ritual sacrifice."

"Buffy, are you trying to make me feel better?"

"Yes?"

"Do stop."

"I'm sorry, it's just that you and me, we mess up the holidays, you know? I mean, I used to think it was just me, but I think you've picked up the Buffy curse."

"If horrid things begin to happen on my birthday, I'm leaving, no matter how much you pout at me," he teased.

"I still have pout power?" Buffy asked excitedly.

"No! Not in the slightest, it was just a metaphor, your lips have absolutely no thrall over me," he gibbered in uncharacteristic fear.

"Thrall?" Buffy asked as her hand began to wander up his thigh.

He swallowed once. Twice. Three times. There was something wrong with that candy. Either that, or Buffy had suddenly developed a need to have casual sex with her friends.

He bolted out of his seat. Buffy turned and pouted at him.

"Now, stop that. You're not yourself, and I have no intention of taking advantage of you, no matter how much you want to be taken. Advantage of, that is."

"You don't like me?" She pouted even more as her eyes became widen and luminous.

"Of course I like you, that isn't the point."

"Oh, come on, Ripper, you know you want to," she whispered in his ear.

He looked down at her. Those beautiful eyes were begging for him to take her, love her, throw her on the nearest surface and...

"Ethan," He growled as he slid his hands around Buffy's throat.

Blonde tresses melted away and delicate hands melted into larger ones desperately trying to pry away the one's choking a now manly throat.

Ethan crashed against Giles' wall as the taller man suddenly let go.

"What have you done with Buffy?" He demanded.

"I sent her on her way to have fun with her friends, or rather you did. You see, she really did kill that demon with your glasses, but you insisted that she let you go home and that she go join her friends at the Bronze."

"And what did you expect to gain from this charade?" Giles whispered dangerously.

Ethan shrugged. "What I've always wanted from you. What you've never given me. Your love, Rupert."

"Perhaps you and Spike should start a club for stalking," Giles suggested.

"I'm hurt, truly, that you think I'm like that pathetic creature," Ethan said in an exaggerated tone.

"And I'm hurt that you thought that I didn't realize you weren't Giles," Buffy commented from her position near the front door.

"Buffy?" Giles asked in surprise.

"What you think I can't open your door without a bang? I just needed to get some mojo back up before I decided to go after David Copperfield over there."

"She means the magician not the book," Willow added.

"Yes, thank you, Willow, I'm quite aware of him," Giles said.

"That would be my cue to leave," Ethan said as he began to dash towards the window.

Xander grabbed him from behind. "Oh no you don't, I have done way too many window jobs lately."

"What are you going to do with me? Ship me off to another prison that I'll easily escape?" He scoffed.

"Nope. We're going to do something worse. Angel says there's a nice Double Meat Palace opening up near his place in LA. Willow's going to curse you to work there for a whole year," Buffy said as Willow began to chant.

Ethan's eyes widened in terror, but before he could utter a sound, he disappeared in a puff of smoke.

Willow swayed on her feet and Xander rushed to help her. "I think I'd better get Little Miss Muffet back to her Curds and Whey," he said as he escorted his friend out the door."

Buffy closed it after them and looked uncomfortably at Giles. "Tara and Anya are waiting for them. I think that they were going to do something couply. Not together, but in the apart sort of couply. You know couply, but not foursome couply."

"Yes, I know," he said softly looking anywhere but at her.

"Giles? You okay?"

"I must admit that I'm not. You recognized that Ethan was not me, but I did not realize that he wasn't you."

"It didn't look that way to me when I got here, or did he not know the answer to the stevedore question?"

Giles barked out a laugh. "Trust me, Ethan knows all too well about my, ah, prowess as it were. It was what he was after."

"But he was pretending to be me... oh, hence the beating that was commencing when I got here."

"I knew that you would never look at me in such a manner," he stated simply.

"All he was doing was looking?"

"Well he did try to cop a feel," he admitted sheepishly.

"Burger frying is way too good for him. Beating, he needs a beating," Buffy grumbled as she turned on Giles' desk lamp.

"Buffy, you needn't stay. It isn't as if Ethan hasn't made a pass at me before. It is unsettling, but he did not actually achieve anything."

"Which is why you're not upset," Buffy said sarcastically.

"I'm not upset," he said defensively.

"You are too. Now, we are going to sit on this couch and drink tea, and you can tell me all about what evil Ethan did."

"I most certainly am not. It is entirely too private a matter to discuss."

"Giles, he was pretending to be me, and now you're completely wigged. I think that merits talking."

"Buffy, why can't you just let this be?" he yelled at her.

"Because you don't want to talk about it, and the only things you won't talk about are really bad things," Buffy shouted back.

"Maybe that's because I'm a very bad person, and I'm just trying to protect you!" he snapped at her.

"Protect me from what? 'Cause I'm not seeing a whole lot of protecting going on here," Buffy shrieked at him.

"From the dirty old man that's your Watcher," he bellowed back before his mind caught up with his mouth.

Buffy looked at him with a sad face. "Who told you that?"

"I didn't need to be told that," he whispered. "There's a reason Ethan chose your face."

"Yeah, to wig you."

"Are you going to make me spell it out for you?" he asked quietly.

"Maybe it would help. It isn't like I don't know what your anatomy does when we're training. Maybe I just want to know why," she said softly as she laid a gentle hand on his arm.

His blush threatened to turn his skin a purple color. "You knew?"

"Sort of hard to miss, pun so not intended. I just kind of figured you needed time to sort things out in your giant noggin."

"You aren't disturbed by it?"

Buffy shook her head. "I already know how I feel about you; I just need to know why you're all happy to see me sometimes."

"I'm sorry. Buffy I never meant to fall in love with you. I swear I never meant for..."
His words were cut off as soft lips molded against his own.

Against his body's will, he pulled back to look at her. She smiled confidently at him.

"I've been in love with you since I found you here with Olivia. I was starting to think you'd never realize just how cute and perky I am."

Shock crossed his face seconds before wry amusement replaced it. "Never tell anyone else that. It would ruin my reputation. And you are not 'cute and perky.' You are lithesome and luminescent. Your breasts though, those are cute and perky."

Buffy grinned at him. "I knew that you were looking."

"I am a Watcher," he reminded her.

"Too bad, I thought you might want to participate," Buffy said as her hand slid to cover his heart.

He responded by brushing his lips against hers. When Buffy broke away she made a very satisfied purring sound that made Giles wondered how he had ever mistaken Ethan's mimic as the real thing.

"I am so going to kill him for touching you," she whispered.

"Could we, that is, perhaps we should forget about Ethan for the moment. I would very much like to be here, alone, with you."

She smiled at him. "You want to be couply?"

"Yes."

Buffy's fingers slid from where they were curled in his hair and were placed gently against his thigh. "How couply?"

His eyes darkened. "Very couply. If you have been waiting since Olivia and I've been waiting since Angel, I think that we've done enough waiting. It isn't as if we don't know each other."

Buffy shivered and allowed her fingers to trace the same path that her doppelganger had tried to trace earlier that evening. This time, however, when the slim fingers reached his groin, Giles did not hasten himself away.

Notes:

This orphaned work was originally on Pejas WWOMB posted by author escargoat.
If this work is yours and you would like to reclaim ownership, you can click on the Technical Support and Feedback link at the bottom fo the page.