Work Text:
Breathe
by Merlin7
I can still remember the first time I saw him. Major John Sheppard. He entered my abode with two companions. Colonel Sumner and Lt. Ford. They were strangers from a strange world but my focus was on the Major. He is a beautiful man and I never tire of looking at him. But it was more than his beauty that captured my attention. So much more than a pretty face that draws me to him.
Although tonight just to admire him is enough. To be in the same room with him. To feel his presence because his presence will not be denied. Major Sheppard walks into a room and all eyes fall upon him. He does not understand why. He is a reluctant hero. A leader born of neccessity. He cares about all life..all people. He cares, period. He does not understand how powerful that passion of his is. He does not see what I, and all the others, see in him. He thinks with his mind but reacts with his heart.
We need him. All of us. But I want him as well and in time I will make my move. I don't want to rush things between us. That..thing...that is like an ember burning bright and just waiting to burst into flame. I felt it that first day and again in the caves when he place my medallion around my neck. And when he saved me and the other, I felt it again. And when I touched him in the way of our people, I knew that he deserved my trust and in that moment he had won my heart. But he's not ready to hear that. He's still uncertain about his place here in Atlantis.
He was not brought here to save us. He came because he is connected to this place, more so than anyone else from Earth. I sense that he is more than he realizes. Some day we will talk of this, when he is ready. But for now I simply watch him as he banters with Dr. McKay. Major Sheppard is smarter than he wants anyone to know and I enjoy watching him play with the other scientists, but he has the most fun with Dr. McKay. It is a game that is good for them both.
I watch him step away to speak to Dr. Weir. She is leader of her people much as I am leader of mine. I know she has the utmost respect for Major Sheppard. I sense something between them but know that neither will risk their friendship to become more. She will let him be mine. I see how she looks at him now, as he turns to speak to Lt. Ford. He's wearing a black shirt and his uniform pants and he is slim yet sturdy. Too slim though and I look at Dr. Weir to catch her eye and she nods at me . She understands.
I will take him to the mainland for a feast. He needs someone to take care of him for a change. So I step forward, and I see him...see me. His smile is sweet and bright and I bask in it's radiance. I reach him and allow myself to reach out and smooth a lock of his hair out of his eyes. It's getting longer now but I like it. Sometimes he looks so young, as young as Lt. Ford. I like to see him that way. Smiling and happy and somehow..innocenct. He holds my gaze as I let my hand slide to his cheek and in that moment I inhale deeply to capture his scent and it fills me and warms me and when he takes my hand I smile at him.
"Want to go watch some football?" he asks me.
"I would like that very much," I reply, even though I know we will talk more than watch his tape. He's still holding my hand as we head for the steps, and I smile to myself as I simply...breathe.
THE END